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hgoluc
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Joined: 4/25/2007
Msg: 626 | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/23/2007 7:27:57 PM | | I keep telling guys they should go on a single gentlemen's romance tour to a Third World country. Even if they're older they can usually still have their pick because it's usually something like 10 or more women for every 1 guy. Hundreds of women show up for 20 or so guys. That's pretty good odds in my book. Go out with some, meet their families, and TAKE YOUR TIME (but not years), and you should meet a woman you won't mind coming home to. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/23/2007 9:44:16 PM | | The sad part about this is all the wussy guys with no clue that relentless persue women and go in like gangbusters make it to easy for women these days because they have no self control and ruin it for the good guys. 90% of the guys these days dont have a clue and screw it up for everyone and make women the way they are,,,if they would just sit back and have some self control it would be different | |
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clay71
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Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 631 | |
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/23/2007 11:24:32 PM | DITTO it's the same everywhere but, don't get all bent out of shape. You notice the looks from women and you said it yourself, you know your goodlooking. The trick is how to transfer that opinion of yourself over to the net. When you do this please tell me how. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/24/2007 3:55:26 AM | | I agree with you, themall. I've emailed guys that didn't have the courtesy to even say thanks, but no thanks. It takes time and effort to compose a thoughtful email. I answer every contact, even the loonies. Some of them I have had to block later on but I did give them the respect of responding to them. The good part is being able to talk with a lot of great people who do respond. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/24/2007 7:12:40 AM | | You are 100% correct, as a woman online, I am very particular about a man's appearance, if I do not like the photos he has posted I will not reply to his emails, its sad but true, and you are right it is not true for women we have more options. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/24/2007 7:28:55 AM | | i think it generally sucks all around, if i read one more profile where a woman claims to value honesty and integrity more than anything - such tired overused cliches...they are as shallow as men, maybe even more. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/24/2007 8:03:22 AM | I feel like the other way around. I am not beating around the bush when it comes to my profile. It is straight forward, I am not trying to sell sex and I am a lady. I feel like,"If you want to play games, got to the casino, right?" I have been divorced for 3 years now and work hard but it seems so damn hard to find just one compatible, normal companion. All in all, we just need to stick it out and be patient I guess. Both women and men can be shallow so us good guys and gals should just watch out for them.  | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/24/2007 9:05:49 AM | What really bothers me about this thread is that it is pointless.
As you get a little bit older, the pickings are going to get slimmer, simply because there are fewer single men and women. In fact, I read an article on MSN a while back that claimed only seven percent of the population can really be categorized as "Single and Looking" past the age of thirty.
But this applies to all mediums, internet or otherwise. What so many people forget is that dating is a numbers game. When you get a little older, it simply takes longer. This means you have to learn patience, which is definitely a virtue. I learned this ten years ago, and I wish more people would realize that.
As far as people on here being shallow, of course some are shallow. But that is a personal characteristic that is not unique to online dating. Most of the guys I know that complain about women on here being shallow usually mean that women in general are that way, which is pure bull. With an attitude like that, I can figure out why they have no luck.
So if you can't handle a few rejections, this medium is not for you. In fact, dating is probably not for you, because it is part of the process. In fact, rejection can be a learning experience. If you start treating as such, perhaps you will realize that there are a lot of fish in the ocean.  | |
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sb5edu
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Joined: 6/28/2006
Msg: 638 | |
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/24/2007 9:15:16 AM | I agree. It can be very disheartening! I just carry on and see if it improves... by no means am I stunningly attractive but i consider myself "ok" with a good profession and interests... Yes, my emails can be a little "dull" and maybe I should try a little harder but I hate writing and getting no replies... Im sure things will turn out better!
We will see lol | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/24/2007 9:20:36 AM | | Well first of all with that attitude woman must be getting the point from your emails that you might be needy. Are your emails funny? do they compliment without going into a big essay? do you come across as a man that is not confident? or coming across as a wussy? (most guys dont realize that) think of the badboys and why they get attention, if your giving the same lines and the same I will do anything for you game your just like everyother man that is flaunting over them. Send out some confident emails and project yourself as someone they would want to hang with. Try it, it works | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/24/2007 11:31:58 AM | "In real life I get a lot of looks and attention, and I am good looking, honestly, but online I feel like a nobody because I just get ignored all the time."
Maybe you were due for some humbling.
"And they often have outrageous expectations and standards like "he must be tall, handsome, intelligent, witty, goal-oriented, ambitious etc etc and all the usual bullsh it."
So........repulsive, dumb, boring ,lazy, and unmotivated are what we should be shooting for instead?
The only problem I have with this list would be insisting on height & looks vs the man having the other attributes.
I resent being told women shouldn't have standards and I should"settle" for what I can supposedly get. If I had what I wanted before- I can get it again- if not online,then elsewhere. And if you think those first requirements are ridiculous- are YOU willing to" settle" for an unattractive, overweight, dumb,lazy,unmotivated woman??
I think I know the answer already. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/24/2007 12:29:30 PM | | I am sorry you don't get the response you want, but I think women have it just as difficult. My last internet date tried to attack me after dinner and a movie, stating he spent alot of money on me. I locked myself in my bedroom until my son got home. Believe me, now I am scared to death to meet anyone. Men do not have to worry about that aspect of dating. I think if you have a good profile and you are willing to be fair to all the women who email you, then finding someone should not be that difficult. Also, not all women are that shallow | |
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dpd22
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Joined: 11/9/2006
Msg: 642 | |
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/24/2007 12:35:33 PM | I think if you have a good profile and you are willing to be fair to all the women who email you, then finding someone should not be that difficult.
The problem with that is most men ( including many decent looking men with nice profiles ) get very few initial emails or responses because of reasons that have already been mentioned. When I do get an initial email, I am willing to give any woman within reason a chance. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/24/2007 1:34:44 PM | | "Angelnurse10": if you're going to meet someone from POF, the Internet, a newspaper ad, etc., you should only do so in public place such as a bar or restaurant. Don't give out your last name and home address right away. After you have met someone in public SEVERAL times you should have a good idea whether or not it's safe to allow them in your home. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/24/2007 2:52:26 PM | | I do put on my profile that I want a man who is sexy, spontaneous, and intelligent. Sexy can mean a lot of different things, and I am sure you don't want to date someone just for their body, (do you?) so I would say that is where the intelligence comes in, and I look for someone who like to have fun | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/24/2007 2:55:58 PM | | I know, I learned my lesson, we had talked for over a month, and he was driving over 4 and a 1/2 hrs, so thats why I agreed to have him pick me up at home. Thank god for my son, but it still makes me very leary now. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/24/2007 5:49:07 PM | welcome to the world of frustation, where women rule the world.
i just raised this topic recently but after a lot of heated discussions, it was removed for exploring lot of truth about women.
it not only sucks but blood pressure goes up why men have to spent many hours in writing a profile, writing a proposal etc. but women just write one line and say must love dogs. i have so much passion and love for women. but i guess they all go wasted.
yes, it is a 200% fact that online dating has made much easier for women to get anything in a minute. they will have to undergo what men do. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/28/2007 5:39:32 PM | Well I dont know about most guys but, I am the total opposite ... at least most of the time :) I would love nothing more than if more women on here initiated some contact, especially in my area, and at least that way, I might get out more, meeting a woman here and there, getting out to a movie together, going for a drink or a bite to eat, shooting some pool or darts, talking about things, and who knows, maybe connecting more romantically ! I have to say how dissappointed I am at the fact, I havent recieved that many emails from women considering how nice of a guy I am !
I may not be rich, have a car or drive, may not be working at the moment for health reasons, and may have problems just like everyone else but, I can tell you that there are not that many men out there in Kitchener as caring, loving, helpful, friendly, understanding etc... as I am ! It has been so discouraging to keep looking and finding no emails week in and week out, and because I am a little shy its been hard for me to initiate contact, partly because alot of women are afraid to meet you because you are off the internet, think you are some kind of old, perverted man because you would like to go out and do some fun things rather than say all the things some guys say on here to attract women ! I am one of the good ones but, for whatever reason women overlook me as if I were invisible which is really sad ... for me anyways : (
Good luck in your searches everyone ... and keep fishing :) | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/28/2007 6:00:35 PM | | i was just reading your blog and seems as if you may have some outrageous expectations. I am looking for a good guy who happens to be attractive to me. It sounds as if you are looking for a Knock Out like every other guy and you don't care what she is like... just as long as she is good looking. It seems you are getting a dose of your own medicine. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/30/2007 11:15:33 AM | This is an important thread; goes to why the POF experience (and the internet dating experience, in general) is satisfying for some, and frustrating or downright demoralizing for many, many others.
If I can take the OP at his word, then I am working with the same "core assets" as he is: I am "a good-looking, educated white guy". However, my internet dating experience has been quite the opposite of his. I am well-aware of all its flaws and pitfalls--but, with a nod to Winston Churchill, I'd have to say internet dating is the worst system possible--except for all the others.
Internet dating provides an unparalleled context in which a man can: display oneself to a woman, announcing one's availability for precisely what he is interested in; "check out" a woman, learning FAR more in a few minutes than he can possibly learn in (e.g.) a bar; deliver his message to her, saying precisely what he means, in language tailored to the particular woman/occasion (for instance, a casual approach with a woman whose profile would indicate that's her style; perhaps more formal/conservative, in response to that sort of woman/profile).
Even before the contact (and this may be most important of all), it allows a man to perform his "market research", identify his "target demographic" (which may be one of the OP's chief problems; he implies he contacts the best-looking women, who, not surprisingly, are quite picky about looks) and position his "product" (i.e. himself) accordingly.
If a man does his homework, he can expect some degree of success on POF--"success" defined solely as chances to meet and impress desirable women IN PERSON--what happens from that point is, of course, far more important than how he's used POF as a means to that end. | |
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