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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/30/2007 3:38:22 PM | I've just arrived on these forums and this is the first issue Ipicked t read through...This has to be a wave of 'nonchalence' through both sexes indiscriminately cos my story is the same hun...
xg | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/30/2007 3:46:49 PM | well internet dating is new for me and for myself I am not sure how comfortable with it I am yet, I do try to reply to the emails I recieve and although it is true I dont initiate contact much yet of those I have I have recieved a response from them back.
**shrugs** | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/31/2007 3:50:14 AM | Can I just say I couldn't agree more with this. Men get accused of being superficial, only go for looks. But my experience says women are a million times more so.
Just one example - 3 months ago a woman from another area contacted me. We e-mailed every day, spoke on the phone loads, and it's no exaggeration to say we got on like a f****ng house on fire. I've never had a rapport like this with anyone. She just laughed all the time. I found that we thought alike about serious issues. She'd seen my photos, and they're all recent. Finally we agreed to meet and I drove 135 miles to meet her. I could tell something was amiss. Finally she did a complete "appearance assassination" on me and made it clear that because of this there was no chance of any romantic involvement if I were the last man on earth.
So. Either she was some sort of strange woman who likes messing men around pretending she's interested(and is a good actress). Or she's completely controlled by her base instinct- the logic of which is erroneous anyway. Or both.
I'm sure the other decent men on this site could relate similar experiences.
And men are supposed to be the ones obsessed by looks. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/31/2007 4:04:30 AM | Dear Eborys, I could not agree with you more, as a guy and going through the same crap, I guess we as guys... just take it a bit more seriously and it can be a game to women and always has been seen caveman times. I have also seen women with lots of favorites seem to be more shallow, and prudes etc.
But do not let the players get to you, and you do seem to come off with an attitude, but lets face it...if you were a woman and sitting on a gold mine , you might play the game of picking and choosing too?...lol. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/31/2007 4:14:46 AM | I think the problem is a lot of women just come on here to chat or for the forums.
Another bunch have been badly hurt and wont try again.
Another bunch love the ego trip of all the attention they get on here.
Sadly a lot of that attention is men looking for sex or men desperate for a date taking what ever comes along. So the attention is really very shallow and meaningless so they are kidding themselves. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/31/2007 7:46:24 PM | | I'm not sure why you wouldn't get any answers. I hardly ever send emails but I've gotten them and gone on a few dates. All have been pleasant, nice looking women too. It doesn't happen a lot. You may have to be patient as it probably isn't something that will happen often. Keep sending emails to women you find interesting. Developing a thick skin helps on dating sites. Women tend to not send replies and/or scrutinize a lot. Try not to let it get to you too much. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/31/2007 9:46:18 PM | I haven't been here long at all, I have recieved a couple of hundred Emails. I have
A taken the time to answer each and everyone of them.
B I have answered each and every ?? Honestly,
C. I have 3 dates lined up this next 3 weeks. One here in Sitka, One In Seattle and the last but not least In Portland Or. ( Traveling so making them for now)
D. They are all at a public place.
I think maybe ppl are putting to much on the outside and not the inside.
Are you expecting way to much,. I am put myself out there and in my emails IM's etc. As what I am Honest to a fault, I mean project what you mean and mean what you say.
I don't even have a photo posted.
So I think it is to be patient and just common curtesy, talk to ppl how you want to be talked to set boundarys in first email's or IM conversations.
I think any experience on any dating site is going to be what you make of it, If I hear a bunch of whining, apologies for what ever, negative attitude I am like Thankyou for the nice email But I am don't think we will make a connection, If I get one that is positive etc. etc. you get a better reponse from me | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 8/1/2007 9:34:44 AM | | I'll be honest, it does suck for the average or less than average looking guy. Here's my point, I have 2 other friends on this site, one is a really good looking guy who never sends out mail but gets tons and tons of mails sent to him. My other buddy, he's ok or less than okay to the women and get's no responses. none. there's way too many guys on this site that's a fact. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 8/1/2007 10:01:27 AM | | Crikey, so many people whinning! What a waste of energy. Does this mean that dating sites will have to meet quoters in order to get an even male to female ratio. Too many males means you have to choose another dating site or be unable to put up a profile. Now there's an idea, LOL. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 8/1/2007 2:00:45 PM | | I beg to differ.. Ive been on POF for only a couple weeks and have been on lots of dates, and met some pretty awesome women. I think its easier for us guys cause we dont have to sort through hundreds of crazy people every day. (only a few) Ive met a couple women who talked about past dates and how bad they were.. people with fake pictures.. ect.. I don't see what the problem at all is, unless your looking to meet hundreds of women.. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 8/5/2007 7:46:51 AM | booooogie2 said,
I'll be honest, it does suck for the average or less than average looking guy. Here's my point, I have 2 other friends on this site, one is a really good looking guy who never sends out mail but gets tons and tons of mails sent to him. My other buddy, he's ok or less than okay to the women and get's no responses. none. there's way too many guys on this site that's a fact.
The real problem is that guys will send the same generic email to as many woman as they have time without even reading the profiles, hoping someone will respond. Women have to sort through all this junk mail. Those men who are compatible and have read their profiles get deleted and thrown out with the garbage.
Too many guys on this site? Not enough for a lot of women it seems....many of the same women are on 4 or 5 different sites and they can't find a man. 
I don't waste my time emailing them. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 8/5/2007 7:57:27 AM | Internet dating has been pretty awesome to me, guys.
You can't take it seriously though, and you can't take "read deleted" personally. There's an infinite number of reasons why someone might not have replied, a lot of them don't have anything to do with you. Just move along and forget about it. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 8/6/2007 5:24:22 AM | | Man you are so right. If you really want to meet a good local female from around your area don't go on this site...just wasting your time. Better off joining a good support group or even forcing yourself off to the nightclub...hangout anywhere...anything else but POF. You described the online experience perfectly. Good luck anyway. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 8/6/2007 11:20:02 AM | | Ok check out my profile and you will see it does not matter how honest you are. I could not be any more honest and all i get is either your nuts or to extreme. No I just want to do something i have always wanted to do. A chance of a life time.You know sell myself as you say a little pitch. The funniest thing is i have an awesome sence of humour and can make anybody comfortable in my presents but not on this darn thing. I need eye contact because my eye do half my talking. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 8/7/2007 12:19:15 AM | Man or woman, if they put up a profile they have to expect to be contacted. And, if the woman reads your email and never responds that would be the equivalent of being at a club, offering to buy a girl a drink and she says 'just give me the money instead'. It's rude. Period. Even if the guy is the ugliest mofo on here. A simple and polite 'Thank you, but i'm not interested. Good luck in your search'.
I'm a bit new here but have sent out a few emails. Some respond. Some read them and don't respond. Some read them, view my profile and don't respond. For whatever reason they just can't click the mouse button and type a few words. Yet, you see them online about every 15 minutes checking their frickin inbox. Go figure.
I choose to contact the women that are attractive to me and have similar interests and backgrounds. The ones that post a pic of their cleavage and half a dozen bathing suit shots are typically the ones that crave attention. Having their inbox stuffed with guys proposing marriage is an ego boost. They collect emails like merit badges.
I'm careful to choose to contact women with a certain reasonable number of miles from me and within a reasonable number of years in age differences. So, i'm not approaching 18 year olds asking if they like candy. My emails are courteous, complimentary and non-abrasive. In return.....nada, zilch, nothing. Any way you slice it it's rude. Now, if I complimented them on their hooters and asked if they'd shake their ass in my face for $10 then I wouldn't expect them to respond.
It's hilarious to read these profiles 'I want a nice guy, educated, romantic...yada yada yada' and when your profile basically matches their 'wants list' like a mirror they STILL don't reply back.
Just this evening I emailed a nice looking woman about 20 miles from me and within 4 years of my age. No response. So, as a test, I sent her another one and told her she was rude (she did read it but just ignored it). Well, by calling her rude she felt compelled to respond... rude as well. So, the sugar coated sweet email got nothing. It was only when she was challenged that she felt compelled to reply. So, once again, go figure. | |
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otismo
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Joined: 6/13/2007
Msg: 666 | |
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 8/7/2007 12:52:14 AM | You are right op. Look at it this way, what are you offering a girl you email? If your offering stds, infidelity, or a chance to waste her time or rob her purse or to try to cut her down, well heck, no guy or girl will ever respond to that. Except maybe to put you in line.
The biggest phonies online are the sociopathic confidant CON-fid-ANT bs blow hard guys who lie and put up a fake front and say how great they are doing, yea sure, after they destroy all thier ex's lives and robbed and hurt everyone they ever met. Those guys usually have 5 kids, 2 ex wives, pay half thier piddly income in child support and yet they tout online how great they are all the while frantically lookin to see what woman has a purse or paycheck they can steal to pay for thier bills, debts and delusions, ie., thier Indiana dream farm or other dirt poor delusions they suffer. Face it op, a lot of bad thieving men muck and mud up the dating field for the good guys, giving the good men, a harder go of it. Take this time to reconsider what YOU are offering a girl. As for the braggart men who claim they are doing so great, if they are doing so great what the heck are they doing trolling on a broken hearts free online date site? The guys who say they are doing so great are usually desperado guys living in a pay phone booth or sociopaths just out of levenworth. I have talked to a couple of the braggart macho men on this site and they are in more financial ruin, are more screwed up, are more money hungry, and more kinniving then any women out there. Those are the bad eggs that muck up the dating field for everyone else. Offer substance and emotional security to a girl you email op and see if that helps you. God knows all the good looking women online and offline have heard enough of the no substance lines, lies and potshots the worthless bad guys spew 24/7. So if you want a response op, you have to rise above the muck the other guys are spewing down in thier liars pig pens. Pretty girls have heard all the worthless bullcarp shooters bullcarp lies 100 times over, so don't follow the bad guys braggart lies. Try sincerity and substance op, add some morality and a solid future and you may get a better response. You can't expect to get something of value and worth unless you have something of value and worth to give. | |
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Alcura
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Joined: 3/30/2006
Msg: 668 | |
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 8/10/2007 10:42:48 PM | Otismo, isssues, brotha, issues! :)
It isn't that bad when you put it into perspective. Most women with their 'Cinderella
Syndrome" list of wants, would have less luck finding a pair of white socks at Footlocker, than a good man--- who they probably know; yet need something to complain about.
What is magical about the net is that despite the male/female ratios, fortunately
everyone is not like that. You'll meet women from different walks of life and places of course, that you'd never meet otherwise. I wouldn't trade my e-buddies for anything. But with most things, you have to always be prepared to take the sugar with the shit... just the way it is. Focus on being larger than life offline, and you won't have any problems. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 8/15/2007 7:55:08 PM | I think its all about the odds, and they can be very discouraging for us guys on here. I would not say net dating sucks though. Yet I agree with much of Eborys's speculation of how it is for the guys at least. I am sure a lot of the "attractive girls" on here just love having their egos fed by full email inboxes or love the attention they get. They sit behind the keyboard like little Cleopatra's clicking 'delete' 'delete'.
However I thinks it also the culture that relates. I've been around the world and I can say from a guy's perspective that American girls are some of the toughest to make a connection with and stimulate that spark. I mean the stats speak for themselves. Only 50% population married. %50 of marriages only last 7 years maximum. U.S. is full of single people and people who have been through many failed relationships.
I have a few pictures on hotornot rating site...I average about 8/10 rating and I consider my profile a pretty fair/honest introduction about myself, yet probably 95% of the messages I send get no replies. And the odds don't get much better if I do. You have to get written conversation going, then get them on the phone, then hope to actually get them to come to a coffee shop to meet....etc.
A nice guy with reasonable looks definitely has to maintain vigilance and just move past all the girls who are not interested, thats for sure. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 8/20/2007 3:32:17 PM | Internet dating is archaic. Most people I know use social networking sites! When one considers the the fact that barely 0.1% of matches end up in marriage, you are better off meeting the woman of your dreams in the supermarket-much better odds! Internet dating is a lottery! Social networking sites take the pressure off from dating crazies because their more light hearted, albeit just as pretentious!
Justin | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 8/20/2007 6:41:06 PM | Very well said Ebory.But you forgot to mention the moochers. It goes like this - we go for dinner somewhere upscale , tell each others lifestory then kiss in the car ,make
another date , gently and diplomatically inform her you would like to go dutch the next time and never hear from her again. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 8/20/2007 7:00:57 PM | | Good advise , you need to develop a thick skin and ignore the snarky messages. Some woman use this site to get rid of their frustrations. i have had some good experiences in here too . Why am i still looking in here ? Because of questions like - what are you planning for our future ?Or will you ever get married again ? Patience ladies - patience | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 8/20/2007 7:09:30 PM | | of course they are not the best why else would they have to go on this cheap site to find a date. the same by the way applies to woman too. you should have seen some of the so called Average bodied woman i went to see. | |
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