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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 8/20/2007 8:50:37 PM | | Ive emailed several women who have the same interests and goals as I, same age, same background, wants and desires, and from what I read we would make a great match. Most of the time I get no response. At first I couldn't figure them out. But I dont get bitter. I'm very confident in myself, and the dates I do have, either online or otherwise, almost always turn into seconds. So if they are superficial and cant see a good match in me I feel like it's their loss, not mine. They're doing the "weeding out" for me! | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 8/20/2007 9:06:12 PM | | I can understand people's frustration on this subject, and I do believe it comes down to a numbers game more than anything else. However, don't forget that a lot of women, just like a lot of men, have serious issues that affect their dating life. Rest assured that the women who write a line in their profile like "Where are all the nice, normal guys?" probably have known and been approached by hundreds of these guys and wouldn't give them the time of day, all the while willingly getting involved with the players and exploiters. So if she can't appreciate your qualities, then the problem is more with her than with you. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 8/22/2007 6:06:54 PM | | I predict that at least 80 percent of the people on this dating site will still be single in 20 years. I just hope they are not all still in the forums complaining about it. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 8/22/2007 8:19:10 PM |
I'll be honest, it does suck for the average or less than average looking guy. Here's my point, I have 2 other friends on this site, one is a really good looking guy who never sends out mail but gets tons and tons of mails sent to him. My other buddy, he's ok or less than okay to the women and get's no responses. none.
This extends way beyond dating sites. Life in general is tougher if you're unattractive...
The funny thing is, I realize its pretty much hopeless for me, yet I still come back expecting a different outcome. I think that is essentially Einstein's definition of insanity...  | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 8/23/2007 1:30:30 PM | | It's just further proof of how hypocritical the statements about men being "shallow" and "basing their choices soley on looks" are. I think a lot of women need to take a long hard look at themselves since it's usually them throwing these statements around. From what I've seen there's just as many "pigs" of the female persuasion. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 8/23/2007 3:30:16 PM | I'd widen your net and try a bit of speed dating; dating from real life contacts as well as the net. I don't think just relying on websites is a good idea - you get too hung up on sitting looking at a screen. Build your profile up on the basis of feedback etc. Do a bit of research eg David DeAngelo materials are effective - I've seen links on this site to his e-book.
I've only been actively meeting/contacting women for a few months but I've found a combination of approaches has worked best for me and I'm being contacted by about 2 new women a week - which is enough for me to be going on with - I might need a rest soon!
Consider widening your circle of female friends - female friends lead to meeting with more females (but make sure you're up front with those you meet - I try to be as honest as is possible even if it risks losing a friend - I don't sleep around or do casual sex but not all women can accept you're telling the truth - but it doesn't matter because I wouldn't want mistrusting women in my life anyway). Go to POF local event.
Invest in new activities for yourself eg learn to read tarot cards; do things that create conversation points. Just keep going and be proactive. Oh, and stop complaining about women not getting in touch! You've only got limited time and energy - funnel it into positive activity. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 8/23/2007 6:04:48 PM | I think dating sites suck for women too.
Pretty much every woman I talk to on dating sites complains about men just after sex.
Some women jus twant their ego boosted on dating sites.
Sadly men just tell them what they want to hear.
Its all pretty sad really. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 8/23/2007 8:39:44 PM | Let's put it this way, women have a lot more options than men when it comes to dating and sex. As for this site, most women's inboxes are constantly getting new messages while most men's inboxes would be lucky to get an email once a fortnight, a month, or year.
Women can pretty much well choose what they want (who is in their league) while men can only choose from what is offered to them except for the men who have high class careers or some one who is well off. A man's options are very limited when it comes to women (in their league) as a lot of women only want some one above them or they think they are better than they really are.
As the saying goes, the average looking man is not good enough for most average looking women. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 8/23/2007 11:52:45 PM | The problem with the male:female ratio is a real one ... 10-1 is probably accurate. Yes, women do get flooded with contacts. But - and most of this advice comes from women I've talked to who use these sites- there are some things you can to stand out - if you are not a male model or multimillionaire exec.
The biggest complaint I think women have is that most contacts are boring. They write "nice profile" and do nothing to stand out.
After boring comes the ones who try to stand out by being nasty. Wait until a relationship is established before you start talking dirty.
Finally, women have a sense of who are the good guys and who are the psychos, players, etc. Good guy does not necessarily mean "nice" guy. But it means they feel they can trust your intentions.
Try starting with a simple first contact. Nothing too wordy. Two or three sentences. Start with a catchy subject line and greeting. It can be somethign with a sense of danger or adventure, but avoid overtly risque. Then say something complementary about her, something specific about her photo, profile, etc. (and keep it clean, in some circumstances it is OK to praise a feature her anatomy, but don't tell her what you want to do with it). Don't share your life story.
I give no warranty with this formula, but I suspect that guys who follow it will get more replies than they might be receiving currently.
On a last word, remember the actual ratio of guys:girls in the real world is not so bad - so if they aren't online, they are out there somewhere to be found. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 8/28/2007 6:11:19 PM | I wish I had the confidence in myself the way you seem to. I cannot imagine getting a date from 1 out of every 10 to 15 girls/women I meet in person no less meeting on the internet. If you have all that you say going for you, why are you using this site? You should have women flocking at your feet. lol GET REAL! | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 8/28/2007 8:27:43 PM |
The biggest complaint I think women have is that most contacts are boring. They write "nice profile" and do nothing to stand out.
nothing to stand out?
But women don't have to do this? Women expect men to offer these things but these women don't offer anything in return. A lot of women think just because they are at least average looking, they just have to make a profile that says practically anything and they will still have no problem what so ever getting attention from men.
Most female profiles I see, they express things like, I am a princess and I want to be treated like one. Their profiles seem to express that "its all about me" and a male has to do all the work to catch her interest while she doesn't have to do any work at all to catch a mans interest. She doesn't have to stand out from the rest or have a good career, she just has to be a woman and it will work for her.
Tell me what do many women out there have to offer and how do they make them selves stand out from the rest in this site? Most of them have nothing but their looks and then expect men to offer a number of things including their looks. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 8/28/2007 9:56:34 PM | ^^^^I agree with the above poster...many women say they bring "themselves" to a relationship but want the man to have a hoyse car, good job with a pension ect. I started a thread called "had an interesting conversation about dating single parents versus those without children." I describe discussing dating with my friends and how all of my female friends who were at my home that night had criteria for men to eet but if a woman meets a guy and she does not fit what he is looking for he should change his criteria. To add to that 2 of my female friend's were single mom's. They expect a man to overlook the fact that a woman has kids, but if a man has kids...ther additude was well he must be looking for mommy for his kids. Yet if a man does not want to date a single mom..he is shallow!!!
It amazes me that some people expect someone they date to have thee moon and stars alligned yet they themselves can not bring to a relationship what they want the other person to bring. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 8/28/2007 10:10:08 PM | I can't speak for other women but what I have to offer is companionship, humility,manners,integrity etc etc. I don't consider myself above anyone and came on internet dating sites to find friendship and if that leads to more then I would consider it a bonus. I wrote an honest profile and to the best of my ability described my interests etc. The only things that works for me is when I reply to every male I get a conversation and maybe if compatible a phone number. Yes I am careful and if after a few messages I feel uncomfortable I will sever further communication. At least 98% of men who contact me (I can't speak for other women) are after sexual contact straight up without any discussion on whether it would be nice to have a normal "date".
I suppose, is it any wonder that women are being picky. I for one do not consider a man who is "good looking" to be perfect companion material, but I do ask for and expect to have veiwed a face photo before agreeing to meet. There is nothing wrong with the noraml flirting that goes with "boy meets girl" situation but would you gentlemen, if meeting a lady in a club or at a barbque,say to her within moments of meeting "I'd like to see you with you clothes off", or , as one asked me in the first few moments of online contact, "What turns you on"? Just being a women does not "make it work for me". I have to and do make an effort to meet half way. The only time I don't is when I am aware that the man is a "sleeze", and I have been around long enough to recognize one.
How about a question such as "Could you describe to me what clothing you feel comfortable wearing?, it is showing an interest in what she likes to wear. The same question could be put to any interests. Not every man is suggestive but a huge percentage are so is no wonder that I scrutinize not only their profiles but their chat. In having said the above I am not a prude but there is a time and place for everything. and in my view "internet dating can suck for women as well as men"
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 8/31/2007 8:01:08 PM | | Actually, if the whole dating thing worked out for everyone, then we probably wouldn't have all these interesting posts to read. I think a little conflict makes life more interesting. So maybe this isn't so bad. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 8/31/2007 8:12:26 PM | | I ve emailed guys and guess what ??? No reply. I am sooo tired of hearing women get more mail then men. I get almost nothing. My male friend down south has at least 3 a day.Soooo there ya have it. Everyone deal with it! | |
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Diva64
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Joined: 2/3/2007
Msg: 696 | |
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 9/1/2007 5:26:28 AM | just some of the highlights of your post:
I looked at coca2’s profile. Yep it sucks
well on second thought the cat does look a little better. It is better than photos of you
It is slightly worse than saying you are a working prostitute.
The good new is you are not a fat cow like most of the chicks on here so that is a real big plus. Go to a professional glamour shot type photo studio, pro makeup, the right wardrobe and some Photoshop touchups and you will have more replies than you know what to do with. Your add is no good either. Try this, when you are feeling horny get drunk and write your add, that would be a big improvement.
and lastly you wrote:
As for guys like myself, there is not much hope here so don’t feel bad.
Don't fret great tiger guy.............THERE IS ALWAYS HOPE......
one can only HOPE......you are kidding!
We hope........that you take an equally sick women off the POF site and live happily ever after
One can only hope......you read this in the manner in which it was intended
I hope you will feel EVERY DAY exactly the way coco or some "fat cow" feels when they read your post............
Yes one can only HOPE!
Diva | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 9/2/2007 7:33:01 AM | The problem with the male:female ratio is a real one ... 10-1 is probably accurate
Hate to be a myth buster but that’s not really true. Using the search function numbers here on POF, I figured out a few interesting things.
Generally there are 1.5 guys for every girl. Since I had to search by age ranges to get useful numbers (not 600+) some interesting results showed themselves. The ratio changes with age.
From 18- 35 years old, there are 2 guys for every girl on here. From 35 to 40 years old the ratio is 1.5 guys for every girl. Between 40 -50 years there is just a little over 1 guy for every girl. Over 50 years there are actually less guys than girls.
This makes for some interesting things. For all the guys and especially the older ones- good luck getting women in their 20’s, especially in their late 20’s – the ratio is the worst at 2.3 guys per girl. The group is the smallest on here. And its no wonder why all these young guys are chasing older women- they ran out of girls their own age.
The number of women on here actually increases as they get older. The number of men declines. All of us guys just have to wait until we are 50 until you get a fair chance on the internet.
Guess the message is- Guys – get off the computer and out in the really world where the ratio is 1 to 1. I spend too much time here (evidence above) and need to get out in real world.
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 9/2/2007 8:22:56 AM | Well Tiger, I hope that you are happily married because once women read what you just wrote, you won't be able to get laid in a whorehouse!!!!
I agree that women have it easier in some ways online that men, but they have their own issues to deal with.......like guys like Tiger. Men have the burden of making a great presentation, but women must be able to filter through the BS in your presentations. I am not sure which issue that I would rather deal with.
Dating certainly is cheaper for women, that is certain. The old society says that the man is the bread winner and provider and should pay. I don't have ANY problem spending money on a woman that we both enjoy the other's company. I just have an issue with the few women that seek a free night on the town. You know before the dinner is over if you intend to see this person again........if you don't care to see this person, INSIST upon paying your fair share of the evening and move on. That keeps men from "expecting" "something". Please don't misunderstand me here. I know there are many wonderful women that aren't looking for a free night away from the kids and are seeking a serious relationship. For those whom seek that, drop me a line. :-)
I think those figures posted by Trutemp may be off a little in my area. There seem to be many more men online than women. I think the actual ratio in the World is 1.1 to 1 women to men.
Anyway........men have it harder in some ways, but women must deal with the likes of Tiger. You decide which is worse......... | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 9/2/2007 8:33:00 AM | well guys i think i would have to disagree...its not easy for us women either ...sure we get the odd message but 9 out of 10 of them messages are men just looking for a good time...not all men ...so how do you call that good...you dont thing that frustrating for us...I myself dont message back to all but i do try...it would help if you added a picture to your profile...im sure you can find one...a picture can tell you alot about a person in my eyes... and there has to be an attraction too ...trust me if you post a picture im sure you will receive more email...you also mentioned you turn heads in real life ...if thats the case why dont you approch one ...why are you here.....well good luck to you  | |
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