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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 11/30/2005 3:52:12 PM | I think most women definitely have the advantage. At least you get to choose from several men even if they are losers. Most of us guys, especially us ugly ones pretty much have to take what we can get.
I am picky though, I require a pulse, a personality, and that you have been a female since the day you were born. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/1/2005 2:23:02 AM | Hummmm.........Call me crazy or old and blind ..I see nothing in this profile that would cause me to even reply...the writing is skimpy....to nothing, the few about mes' are NOT my cup of tea....and again am I blind or where is that picture I saw none at all...  | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/1/2005 3:39:27 AM | if you understand that wiggens then you are truly an amazing man lol...which leads me to ask:why are you sngle? and whatis your experience on here?
why are the women on here still single? and after that, tell us why the men are? Once we have worked the two out, we may have made history!! | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/1/2005 3:42:34 AM | It sucks for both men and women as much as "in the real world" dating experiences.
For men, we're expected to constantly make first contact. Women can stand back and wait for men to come to them, to do all the work to initiate first contact and often set up first dates. Do all of the hard work at first. Or so it seems...
Consider a woman's point of view though. There is a tendacy that the men who do make first contact, who are oftne the men they encounter, are sleezy jerks out for one thing. Especially online, the sleezy become more confident since they are hiding behind a computer screen. Sexual commentary is at its worst, so women have to deal with that.
So it is bad for both men and women I think. For men, there is way too much pressure to do all the work. Most of the time women are incredibly vague and hidden about whether or not they like the guy. Why? Because they don't want to be taken advantage of. I understand that, but it breaks my heart to be really into a woman and her being all stand offish. Wouldn't it be nice for once if a woman just walked over to you and said, "I think you're cute, I think you're really sweet, would you go out on a date with me?" Ideal situation right?
Women would love it if they had some magical way to detect if every man who approached them was sincere sweetheart or a lying slimeball.
It's because of the negative people out there that they ruin things for the good people. The abusive emotional vampires that both men and women can be, ruin things for the nice ones because then we become all defensive and on edge.
So, yeah, it sucks for men, but it's not all that easy for women either becuase take all the horrible things said about the internet in general, and typically that's what is shoved into their lap on a regular basis. I know enough women I've met online that told me of horror stories, so I would never say it was good for them either. Just be more sympathetic to them and possibly, they'll be more sypathetic with your situation also. Then you can start off on the right foot. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/1/2005 4:00:24 AM |
Most of the women you are writing to are not going to respond to you and that in itself should tell you something about their character.
I keep hearing the 'I get dozens of emails every day and can't possibly respond to them all' reason for this from some women. I don't get dozens, not being one of those highly vaunted reasonably good looking women with sexy pics, but I do get some, and if their dozens have anything in common with the few in my mailbox, it's no wonder they don't respond to most of the mail they get.
Hi.
My name is xxxx. I am xx years old. I live in xxxxxx.
signed
xxxx
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 !! u r sxye
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hi rite back
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These may be marvelous guys who engage in scintillating conversation in person, but don't have a clue how to communicate in writing. This is a written medium though, and all I have to go by is the words that the guy puts on the screen.
And I have to say this, too. As a woman who DOES initiate contact, I don't think I have ever NOT gotten a response back from a man. I wonder, though, how I'd do with that if I started sending out 'hellos' like the ones above? | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/1/2005 6:29:21 AM |
Women would love it if they had some magical way to detect if every man who approached them was sincere sweetheart or a lying slimeball.
Oh, so true!!!
Of course, some of rhe slimeballs don't even bother to lie - their sleazy intentions are right there to be seen in the profiles that list their dating interests as "sex, sex, sex" or the emails that say "ur hot" or "nice tits." | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/1/2005 7:33:36 AM | The OP is absolutely right...
Through regression therapy, I found out that I was tall, handsome,witty, goal-oriented, ambitious and very very rich in a previous life....and I had a revolving door at my bedroom...
And then the therapist woke me up....   | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/1/2005 8:18:59 AM | Not all women are shallow...a lot can be, whether they choose to be is a different thing...These women give others a bad name. Same with men though. It only takes 1 idiot to mess it up for everyone else.
There are nice people on here, they're just really hard to find lol
Plus if the people you're sending msgs to are too shallow to reply because u'r not tall enough or because you have the wrong color eyes or hair, don't worry about it, you don't want someone who will judge you on things you can't control anyway. Especially before getting to know you in the first place.
This is wayyyy harder then it was in high school...back then, you liked someone, they found out...they decided to like u and everything fell into place but here ahhhhh it's crazy. You talk to someone for a bit, you say 1 thing they don't agree with and they're goneeeeeee fast lol | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/1/2005 8:20:56 AM | | I know exactly what you mean as I have been and paid for at least 12 sites in the last 3 months. I have the problem of just being an average guy who works and pays bills and not rich or debonaire...You are right on all accounts and it's a shame things can't be balanced towards everyone. I notice for example Im short and like any height woman and I cannot get the profiles that I want in a search for a woman who doesn't care what height a man is...The sites control a lot of what goes on with there policies and profile make up questions I have to got through hundreds of profiles of women who want taller men and the sites dont have a search control for age either and once again the search and continued waste of my time dont effect anyone but me,, dont give up as I havent and Im sure Im worse of than you...Rene | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/1/2005 10:22:37 AM | Eborys,
I would say that your main problem is - and this has been brought up many times by other posters - YOUR PROFILE SUCKS. One, you have no pics, and two, the text of your profile has no substance. I have read your profile and put myself in the place of a woman - would I contact you or respond to a message from you? The answer is a resounding NO.
But you know what? Having said that, I have also found that having a really in-depth profile and a whack of pictures doesn't necessarily help either. I was on POF for awhile (with what I thought was a really good profile and pics), wasn't getting much interest, so I gave up for awhile. Now I'm back with a stripped down but (in my mind anyways) a more humorous profile, as well as some pics that pretty much portray me as the way I am: a guy who likes scuba diving and who is kinda whacky, but has a serious side too.
The number one rule of this Internet dating thing is: don't get your hopes up too high (why the hell are you even here anyways if, as you claim, you get all kinds of interest from women in the "real" world?) - And certainly don't get 'em up too high if you aren't willing to put more effort into your profile... | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/1/2005 10:46:59 AM | | Yeah totally 100 percent, dating past high school SUCKS. If I wasn't so shy back then and actually asked this girl out I knew liked me, i might not be on any of these bloody sites now, spending my nights and weekends alone in front of a monitor. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/1/2005 11:41:17 AM | LOL my first forum...i saw this i had to say something...yes women are shallow they are bred to be from theday they are born its hard to find a non shallow one and usually they led sheltered lives or are taken already but yea go to a bar or club and*say you arnt quasimodo* just sit at the bar where people can see you and buy a drink......odds are nothing...now break out the pimp roll....thats it let them all see you gots the cash....now looky there you got at least 6 women checking you out....as for this whole thing about looks and getting someone oh my god what a joke i have a friend named rachel....she rides a bike to work and its a 10 mile run to and from work so shes got the body of a model now my point she can walk into a room and everyone looks at her she has people trying to get down her pants CONSTANTLY the same people that dont give her the time of day when shes in her jogging suit want her in her tube top want better proof..look at that one girl on E who dressed up in a fat suit...people wouldnt even say hi to her but they mast****at at her image on tv a hot women can get laid by walking up to someone in a club and say wanna get laid..99% effective a guy does it hes 60% gunna be in pain in the next 4 seconds 20% likely to go to jail and 10% likely to get killed the same principals in real life apply to online ive looked at alot of profiles on this thing people who say they want the same things i do down to the smallest detail i message them seeing if they would be interested in talking or goin out for a date to get coffee* and whats with these B.S first date things 4 star dinner, movies ect *you honestly think im gunna drop $50-100 on someone i just met that i dont know if ill even see again..HAH try again* But really a first date should be about talking and getting to know someone and having some fun not IM GUNNA FEED YOU SO YOU WONT BE TALKING..THEN TAKE YOU TO SOMETHING WHERE YOU CAN IGNORE ME FOR A FEW HOURS...THEN IM GOING TO TAKE YOU HOME..sounds like a great night to me messed up thing is if i wanted to drop 50 to 100 bucks on a women i just met id buy a hooker at least then theres a pretended intrest in me LOL
but cmon who all has dropped a quarter*or whatever* of your paycheck on a women in one night that ignored you most of the time sometimes to check out other people*btw last time that happened i walked out and left her ass the bill* and you never saw them again | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/1/2005 12:14:54 PM | ok well think of this... I am a bi woman and I can choose man or woman not both. I am looking for a woman but if I were looking for a man it might be diffrent. I have gotten mail from men who are looking for a relationship but my file says I am living w\someone.
I am having trouble finding what I want. And I AM A WOMAN. i also do not have a bad or slutty pic on my file. so I think i do not get as many responces. I do not think I am ugly but I am not the cream of the crop either. so think before you accuse.
It is just as hard for us women as it is for you men. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/1/2005 2:27:23 PM | I have had so many girls message me out of the blue, I have not met any of them I do not have the time just yet but every other day there is a new girl saying whats up to me.
3 girls that i have message have not responded but thats ok cause others have i have no idea why people complain about this site and others it is so easy if you want a quick B* there are girl on here who will do that.
if you want to me a nice girl to hang and be friends with maybe more there there are girls on here for that also No complaints. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/1/2005 2:28:13 PM | wow, there is some real bitterness towards women on here!!
Maybe we are forgetting the traditoanlly women did not approach man as it was seen as wrong, so its persisted. Some would say a woman is too forward or easy if she approaches a man. Tat damn book, the Rules, says a woman should play hard to get!! Women are hardly ever told to approach first.
However, when I am out, I have seen a model looking guy with women swarming around them. One guy snogged three women in one bar in one night!!
As for the height thing, I personally have no choice. I really dont think it shallow to say that i cant date someone below 6 ft, as i am 6 ft2.5. Ok so a woman who is 5 ft who asks for the same IS just being picky....but i wish i had the choice!!
I often send out emails, are it varies whether i get a response or not. But I cant complain, as I probably answer about the same amount....this is a topic that could roll on and on, as it doesnt rely on male or female, he relies on how individuals score you xxx | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/1/2005 11:20:36 PM | Gotta love a lot of these posts. Some quite insightful (from: OMG hello 2u, goldengurl, carissima, orchid38, riveraojr, paradoxdreamer) some just too funny (from: latintango, judge and Jury...seriously, read his post and then look at his profile, he's got nothing in it!), and a couple that are a bit hard to read & understand cause they put no punctuation in the post, making it one big run-on sentence...(ahem...sarasotadude, sorry, you lost me after like 3 lines of your post).
Anyway, my view of this parallel's many on here and its already been said so I won't repeat it (paradoxdreamer's post is on par with how i see it, carissima's posts too).
I dunno, its a tough call. I was previously on another popular dating site (LL) and it was only after like 7-8 months before I had a few dates. There were 2 people that I eventually got to know, one of them fairly well over another 3 months or so, but neither of them worked out in the end. All this after sending many, many messages (which of course, cost me $$$).
I can't say anything about POF yet, since I'm not yet technically "in-the-market" for the city where I have listed my profile, but I'll be there in January, so we'll see how this goes...I'm a bit more optimistic, but I'm not giving my hopes up.
What the hell is my point you ask? Well, at risk of sounding utterly conceited, I'm tall, I've been told I am quite attractive, I've got a tonne of ambition and have get high goals for myself. I'm gonna make a great partner for someone, I've just gotta be patient becuause I wouldn't classify my experience with internet dating as being successful either...I would say the response to my profile has been slow too...I've been sending out messages, but I'm not really expecting a response. So when I do get a response, its like >>> 
Eborys - I know it sucks...I'm with you on that all the way, but if you really feel like you've got something to offer someone and they don't respond...just tell yourself: "Oh well, its her loss." Just try to brush it off. It might not even be an issue with you at all. I know this is easier said than done (for me too!), but try not to take a lack of response personally...it'll drive you nuts if you do!!! | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/2/2005 5:43:25 AM | | lol sorry im a lil high on painkillers at the time so my writing skills lack as for danielle24 she looks great and sounds very nice thing is if i messaged her would i get a response..who knows its been my experience that it will be no | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/2/2005 6:09:52 AM | | I agree. I have been lucky enough to have one woman initiate a conversation with me, but after a few e-mails, they just stop. I have sent countless people e-mails and almost no one responds, yet, these women remain on the site for months and even years. Of course, it's that way with the rest of the world also. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/2/2005 6:35:06 AM | | Huh. I have the reverse problem. I get tons of dates, I'm just not really thrilled by 90% of them, and so far none of the remaining 10% are thrilled by me. It makes sense, I guess. If the odds are 10% in favor both ways, I'm looking at about 100 meetings before I find one match. Ugh, that's a lot of work. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/2/2005 6:36:52 AM | Well sarasotadude...
test it out see what happens, I'm thinking she wouldn't reply considering she's looking for a female but you never know...just might be your lucky day | |
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