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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 9/23/2007 10:11:01 AM |
throwing a pitty party here...ok people gather around...we have chips and "dips"for all the .....oh ya...cant bash nobody.....anyways....moveing on now!
I realy hate this but i disagree with the op here....theres a lot of people on here to pic and chose from...just have to use the comunication thing...'member?thats part of it...perhaps you could spend some time looking at profiles and reading between the line....you can learn a lot if they have a good profile!!!good luck to ya op!!
I was yesterday evening at the End of Summer Bash--Hamilton Harbour Cruise Saturday Sept 22
There were about 3 women per men there
MEN GET OFF YOU BUTTS AND GO TO THESE POF EVENTS IN YOUR LOCAL AREA
This was the first POF event i went to and i plan to go to many more
The hosts did a great job and the boat crew were great
I talked to one couple who meet on POF and they are getting married next year.
There were other there who meet someone of POF
These POF events are great to make new friends and you just never know if a person you meet there will be the "ONE"
One regular forum poster meet her future husband at one of these POF events and they got married this year
When: Saturday September 22, 2007
Where: Hamilton Harbour, next door to the Discovery Centre
47 Discovery Dr., Hamilton (905) 525-4498
Time: Cruise is 9:30pm - 12:30am
Cost: $15 + GST per person
For $15 it was well worth it | |
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| when is it my turn
Posted: 9/26/2007 10:30:31 AM | Whewn I first jioned this site I stated in my profilke that women were welcome to contact me. Well they contsacted me saying that I should not expect responses waiting for women to contact me and that men should do the chasing/contacting.
I have sent messages to women but changed my profile. I find it interesting some feel they do not need to do any work to meet someone but just want to put a profile on a website and expect the work will be done for them. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 9/27/2007 9:32:24 AM | I'm starting to think internet dating is just a bad idea, it's not natural and you are letting people into your life that aren't meant to be there. So far it's brought me nothing but problems and I have not met many from here either.
I know there are a lot of success stories, it can work but I just think it would be nice when I find who I'm looking to not have to say "we met online" for the next 50 years.
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 9/27/2007 11:24:01 AM |
I know there are a lot of success stories, it can work but I just think it would be nice when I find who I'm looking to not have to say "we met online" for the next 50 years.
So that's worse than the tried and true "we met at a bar"?? Personally, I think the "stigma" of "we met online" has pretty much disappeared at this point. I'd never hesitate to say "we met online" nor would I ever consider apologizing for it. What's wrong with meeting online? After all, its JUST another way to meet - only in person over time will you find out if you're relationship material. Doesn't matter if you met online, at a bar, or anywhere else. And by the time you've read a profile, exchanged several emails, talked on the phone probably more than once - you know a WHOLE lot more than you probably do about someone you meet any other way. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 9/27/2007 12:45:31 PM | | Whether we want to admit it or not internet dating is here to stay. For those of us who work alot of hours sometimes the internet is where some people can meet others. Like the women I had five dates with in June I met here on another site while I was checking my email. I said once before with internet dating you have to go into it with a openmind. It is important to be real on what your goal with those who you want to meet. I met alot of people off the net and I learn it takes time to find the right person. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 9/27/2007 4:17:10 PM | | Well I was hurt twice in a row by people I met online, the 2nd was worse than the 1st, much worse, cause I cared more, way more, so it's not exactly that I don't want to say "we met online" as it is that meeting online doesn't seem to be working for me. I'm just not dating anyone for a while, nobody from the grocery store either. :) | |
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| when is it my turn
Posted: 9/27/2007 4:27:19 PM | "internet dating doesn't exactly suck as people do have a sincere interest in meeting as opposed to random chatting like facebook, it just sucks in small towns of 3000 or less"
I have actually had more luck with getting interest from women in smaller towns. They seem to be more available because they are not flooded with men in their area. But unfortunately, they live too far away. I am in an area with a lot more people and most of the women have more offers than they can handle. So I am left in the dust. | |
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| running out of options
Posted: 9/28/2007 1:44:12 PM | I've scoured this site and sent many messages to pretty much every women that I thought may be a possibility, within about a 100 mile radius of me. I don't want a long distance relationship because they suck. I don't have anyone to try anymore!! I've gotten a few replies over the months, and as soon as I mention meeting, it's over. The funny thing is, a few of them who deleted my messages and didn't respond, or disappeared after I suggested meeting, continue to view my profile on a regular basis. I've sent a few teasing remarks to these voyeurs like "are you married", or "I sense you don't know what you want", and of course no response follows, and they still continue viewing my profile. I think they probably are married, or have no self esteem.....
These attempts to find a date have become a bit of a joke to me. Maybe women are looking for raunch, or guys who use hair spray, or shave their bodies, or wear girl jeans?? I think society's evolving model of 'what is man' is becoming more gay every year. Apparently, being smart, good looking, successful, and a good person are no longer attractive qualities. I know I'm not suppose to know these things about myself!! I'm wasting my time. | |
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| running out of options
Posted: 9/28/2007 10:29:37 PM | I dunno people. Like I said in another topic, I don't take this internet dating thing as the be all end all. I just send messages when I feel, chat with any who answer, and see if it grows.
If not, then I log off, go have my own life, and come back some other time to look again.
I just don't take it personally when I don't receive a reply or an interested girl suddenly changes her mind and vanishes. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 9/29/2007 4:28:54 PM | Everthing old is new again.
I read the first couple of pages, then some posts at random to get the feel of it. Most of the comments were thoughtful and a few were just plain goofball.
No great suprises.
For some people, they could write something in crayon and get tons of responses (good ones and not so good ones). Some people will have trouble to matter what they do. Most people are going to wind up in the middle.
Does it matter? That is up to the individual and their unique situation, needs, goals and dreams. So if something doesn't seem to work, make adjustments. Is it the picture, the profile, sending or replying to-mails...? The list is endless. Try different approaches.
Still little success? Then it is very possible that this venue just isn't suited for you. I can't say one way or another.
Just don't sit behind the screen. Go out and about and do those things that you have a passion for. That passion and zest show on a person in real life. Rarely to they show on a screen. Even on this site, there are opportunities for meet and greets in many provinces, states, cities. If you do that already, keep at it. After all there is a thing called serendipity. If one approach is not especially successful, change tactics. A number of the posters in this thread (as well as others) have mentioned some great possibilities. See what you think might work for you.
If your answer is a sharp retort along the lines of "but I do that already" or "I already tried that" and still no results then what do you want someone to say?
Seriously. If you think about it. Almost anyone can make a legitimate beef about something, someone, or a situation. Is it hard, frustrating and confusing? For many the answer is a 100% absolutely guaranteed correct. If you feel burnt out by the process, well then maybe a break is in order. Who knows for sure one way or another?
So, is this tough for men- you betcha. It is also tough for women. It is tough for almost anyone for any concievable reason. Just as Edison tried countless numbers of materials for filaments in light bulbs he didn't give up. He tried different things until he found one. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 9/29/2007 7:22:13 PM | WOW. long, long running, informative.
From what I see the media really is not the issue. Problems for both gender seem to be equally represented throughout the Internet. Like being in a large office building except you could be arrested there for sending a note, "Hi you are cute" to someone.
Seriously even if you gathered what information you could and went over and presented yourself in person there would be issues. So this works. But yes as has been pointed out do not put ll your efforts into one media.
If nothing is working take the time to reflect, Why not?? | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 9/29/2007 7:47:37 PM | I think the problem is women are looking for Mr Perfect and so wait around for a long time for him to come along.
Sadly Mr Perfect doesnt exist and so they just die lonely old people.
Some women are not so stupid and realise that if you want a relationship then you need to compromise a little. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 9/29/2007 8:56:28 PM | I am baffled by what kind of a phenomenal psychological change this generation must be going through. So much so that it seems pertinent at the atomic level.
Sure there has been the wandering eye, kings who had many queens, women who had many partners throughout history. But for the most part, you came to terms with what the commitment protocol was. You reconciled that you were submitting yourself to (no not your partner) but the union of you 'two'. I open the local newspaper and look at black & white photos of elderly couples' anniversary celebrations announced all the time.
When I was a teenage boy, lovestruck, and hopeless, I remember promising someone the 'together forever', and I had no equivocation in my heart. But I was ~16... and hopeless.
Some women who've been polite enough to disappear after a dozen e-mails rather than 2, have indeed admitted that they've gone on some (actually numerous) great dates, met some men whose intentions were those from a clean heart. If, given a clean heart and some mild level of attraction, you can't make that reconciliation then I say, to hell with you. Not only do I not feel sorry for your recklessness with other people's time (if not heart), I wouldn't weep a croc's tear if I met you at 70 living off government pension in a condo all by yourself.
Now there are women who've jumped on the thread with.. "yeah but not ALL" - listen!
In my age group there are 3 guys to each one of you. In my ethnicity group it's 11 to 1. You couldn't fabricate that ratio with chemical warfare. If you truly wanted to connect with someone, you would. End of story. Compatibility and chemistry are buzzwords. You think my 55 year old parents ever say.. "hmm I wonder how compatible we are anymore. I sense a lack of chemistry between the two of us". In fact they live 4000 km apart. That's a connection. So please cut out the drivel. And I sincerely mean, please. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 9/30/2007 7:32:59 AM |
I know there are a lot of success stories, it can work but I just think it would be nice when I find who I'm looking to not have to say "we met online" for the next 50 years.
Why? Does your self-identity depend on having others approve of how you meet someone? On top of that, survey after survey shows that meeting online is the 3rd most common way for people to meet nowadays. Would it make you more comfortable to say that you met her, when she was standing under a streetlight in a seedy part of town, and you gave her $20 for oral sex, and it was "magic" afterwards? | |
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| Internet dating is sweet
Posted: 10/1/2007 1:10:41 PM | 3rd most common way huh. well i hear that. my best friend met her love through lavalife and now i think i've met mine, go internet      | |
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| Internet dating is sweet
Posted: 10/1/2007 7:50:44 PM |
3rd most common way huh. well i hear that. my best friend met her love through lavalife and now i think i've met mine, go internet
As have I, and prior to meeting her, I had a couple of dates from here, that went just fine, but, for one reason or another, wouldn't have worked for the long term. Discovering that is part of dating.
Truth is, attitude means a lot, in almost anything you do. The men who are complaining the most, it seems to me, have negative attitudes. I read a lot of posts by a lot of women with negative attitudes, and they aren't happy with their results on POF either. On the other hand, I simply avoid negative people, so among the women I've talked to from here, by and large, they, too, are meeting people. | |
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| Internet dating is sweet
Posted: 10/1/2007 8:18:19 PM | That's far too simplistic MeloFelo. I've seen you attack people for showing what you would consider negativity. Don't forget the demographics here either. At your age, women are different and so are the sheer numbers.
My dad looked for a decent job for 14 years, took many courses, drove hundreds of miles for many interviews, then ultimately started his own business which helped him make meagre sums of money but things went by.
A little while back he got hired by a company in the Oil Sands of Alberta making a ridiculous salary. You can't tell me that a person who kept trying for 13 years wouldn't ever become negative. Fate, luck, destiny, though not entirely to be blamed for our judgement calls and actions, and certainly not tangible can be attributed to some of our failures.
Although rarely, even I get a message from some women who don't write back after 2 e-mails. Those for whom this is some kind of an amusement park will wait and wait and wait forever to get on every single ride possible hoping that further 4 hours of wait will get them to a greater feeling of thrill. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 10/1/2007 8:27:50 PM | | I fully agree with MOS , I get quite a few responses from ladies first .. I would like to know why these guys say ( WHITE GUY) , SOUNDS LIKE DISCRIMINATION , THAT IS WHAT TURNS EVERYONE OFF ... | |
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| Internet dating is sweet
Posted: 10/1/2007 8:28:05 PM | I see lots and lots of these posts that say women don't talk to anyone, and then there's the idea that women only want bad boys.
I guess I just don't get it. I suspect it has a bit more to do with personality than people realize. I know lots of guys who are either very average looking, less than average, or flat out beat with an ugly stick that do fine. You know why they do fine and don't have a problem with getting dates?? Because they are intelligent, interesting, funny, do a better job of choosing women who fit them or would be interested in them, so on and so forth. These are the types of men whose women friends say they love them because they are great guys. They usually have just an average income, nothing outwardly special, but there's an inner quality that once one sees it, they become the most attractive, sexy, gorgeous man on the face of the planet. At least from my point of view, I would be honored to spend my life with that type of man any day. There's more than a few guys I've met on here that fit that description.
I've also noticed that the men that are like that attract similar women. No one is going to look at the outside of that couple and be jealous, because they have no clue of the amount of happiness they have with each other. How many jokes do people crack when they see two people who by society's standards are "ugly?" They may have no clue that couple is in complete bliss with each other. So, what's more important? Who's the real winner there?
Girls judge you by your photo and that's it for the majority of them. Pot calling kettle black.
Ya know, outside of the testimonials, I sort of wish there was a way to list the people we think are awesome. I guess I'll see if I can do that in my profile. | |
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| Internet dating is sweet
Posted: 10/1/2007 8:35:12 PM |
My dad looked for a decent job for 14 years, took many courses, drove hundreds of miles for many interviews, then ultimately started his own business which helped him make meagre sums of money but things went by.
A little while back he got hired by a company in the Oil Sands of Alberta making a ridiculous salary. You can't tell me that a person who kept trying for 13 years wouldn't ever become negative. Fate, luck, destiny, though not entirely to be blamed for our judgement calls and actions, and certainly not tangible can be attributed to some of our failures.
I lost my job, 7 years ago, in a field where I had 20 years experience, and was making a lot of money. Not anything to do with me, it was the entire salesforce. Deindustrialization made it hard to find something, so I had to switch careers. It was difficult, at first, making less than half what I had before. There were some "lean years", but finally, I am in the right place. Many others gave up.
Yes, Providence plays a part, but so does attitude.
even I get a message from some women who don't write back after 2 e-mails. Those for whom this is some kind of an amusement park will wait and wait and wait forever to get on every single ride possible hoping that further 4 hours of wait will get them to a greater feeling of thrill.
Of course. So what? You don't have anything "invested" in some woman you are just sending an email to, so if she doesn't write back, honestly, why would you care? There are more suitable women within a reasonable distance of you, than you could ever possibly write to, so why waste time on any particular one, before you have something "going" with her? | |
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Diva64
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Joined: 2/3/2007
Msg: 825 | |
| Internet dating is sweet
Posted: 10/1/2007 8:39:11 PM | ya know, Melo has a very good point with the negativity issue.........
............sure you're dad looked for work and couldn't find what he wanted............but let me ask you this since you are not your dad, let that go...............
You woke up this morning .........RIGHT?
Did you wipe your own azz when you went to the bathroom today?
Did you eat?
Did you eat what you wanted?
Did you have to hunt for it?
Were you able to cook it?
Did you have clothes to wear?
Did they fit, or were they someone else's that you had to buckle up?
Did you have shoes? Do they fit?
That's just scratching the surface.......
MY GOD...............GET OFF THE CROSS somebody else needs the wood.........
you are blessed beyond measure..........YOU ARE SMART, that's obvious, You're good looking, we can all see that...............so then where in lies the problem..............your problem is from WITHIN!?
Get into GRATITUDE LIVING.........
you can't be grateful and unhappy at the same time...........
and watch what/who you start attracting..............
Yes, Melo has a valid point!
Diva | |
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