|
|
|
|
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/6/2007 7:32:53 PM |
If a woman is over 40 and still expect men to make the first move always then she will have a very long wait. I'm not sure where you got this information but I find it quite a way from reality. I'm WAY over 40....in fact, I'm so far over 40 that I barely remember the time when I remembered being 40, and my mailbox is never empty. In fact, I've worked pretty diligently to perfect a profile which discourages the kinds of men that I do NOT want to hear from....and my mail box is still not empty.
I don't personally have a problem sending the first email to a guy, but I think many people ignore the reality that IN SPITE of women's lib....men still tend to be a little more aggressive in persuing than women are. Also, there are only so many hours in a day....after you spend 2 hours sending a thoughful reply to 10 emails...there's NO time for "searching profiles".
Granted, yes, there are likely to be a lot of non responses. What's the difference in that or if you smile at a girl in a bar and she turns her head the other direction? I'd think that you gentlemen would be better served by taking the attitude that it's HER problem rather than yours! No need to go on a campaign over it...if they've ignored you...then they're not likely to be someone you'd want to know anyhow. | |
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/7/2007 6:44:58 PM |
...I personally feel that modern feminism has pretty much killed off the traditional dating experience. You can't have it both ways. Greater equality for women today means that many men expect some women to show their interest and make the first move.
You can't erase those things that are in the nature of man, and in the nature of woman. Yes, society has changed, and it can be a bit confusing, but there are still some of the "courtly" vestiges of men and women in relationships. Among those is that men, by nature, tend to be more proactive and "aggressive", and more often will initiate the first contact. It's not about "logic" or "fairness". It's just that it's far more natural for men, although it's perfectly fine, even flattering, when women do.
I'm 24/7 with my fiancee, who I met on POF. She is an accomplished professional, who earns more than I do, although I hope to overtake her this year.  Still, there are things in daily life, where it is appropriate for me to treat her as a woman, rather than a "generic human with different plumbing". Some are little things, like it being natural for a man to carry the heavy things, but also natural for a woman to pay greater attention to the details of the "nest". It's a normal gesture to hold her door, when it's possible to do without blocking traffic, but also natural for her to have a better "eye" for color, in terms of suggestions about what tie to wear with which suit.
The point being is that men and women ARE different, naturally. That extends into dating. If you "expect" women to initiate contact, out of some sense of "what's fair", I wish you good luck with that dynamic, because selecting a romantic interest isn't about "fairness", "political correctness", and no one is "entitled" to interest by someone else. In our culture it will always be men who predominantly initiate, and those who have an "issue" with that, can complain til the cows come home, while they sit home alone. While those men who are comfortable with men being men, and women being women, are far more likely to find a compatible mate, IMO. | |
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/7/2007 7:07:46 PM | I didn't enjoy the yahoo personal but since being told about POF, I am really having a good time. I send out more e-mails then I get but I have met and connected with people from this site.I've got a half dozen photos and update them and I have an honest description of me and who I want to meet.This thread won't age very well,like fine wine, because it's full of sour grapes.Good luck | |
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/9/2007 1:52:54 PM |
have met and connected with people from this site....
I have an honest description of me and who I want to meet.This thread won't age very well,like fine wine, because it's full of sour grapes
Maxkix, the single most consistent predictor of "success" in online dating is attitude. Negativity always repels, and positive attitude attracts.
The other is matching one's expectations with a realistic appraisal of what one has to offer himself/herself. a 50 year old, recently released from prison, who is 5'6", weighing 300#, and working for minimum wage, is unlikely to get many responses from a 24 year old woman, who worked her way through grad school as a fashion model, and now has a Phd. and is employed for 6 figures by a Fortune 100 company.
Of course, those men doing something similar can always be found in threads like this, whining about why women don't answer their emails, or why the "internet sucks for guys, but is good for women".  | |
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/9/2007 3:27:12 PM |
I wanted to have a job like men do.
I wanted to go out and pursue men, like men do. Now I realise... that really sucks. It's hard! I wanna be a little girl and have everything handed to me on a platter again!!!
Well, most most male hairstylists are gay, so no emulation there! And yes, I did plenty of pursuing in my twenties....and had alot of fun!!
I think you may have been a little jealous of your sisters growing up!! | |
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/13/2007 3:03:35 PM | | Im pretty sure it is what is said in conversation, the women either like what your saying or they don't, I have had really good luck with online dating, I have met some really nice women, far more good dates than bad..I will say this however, alot of the women I have met ..when all said and done really just wanted a decent guy to have sex with...that is another forum, so as far as internet dating sucking for guys..I whole heartedly disagree. | |
|
| |
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/13/2007 9:02:49 PM |
Im pretty sure it is what is said in conversation, the women either like what your saying or they don't, I have had really good luck with online dating, I have met some really nice women, far more good dates than bad..I will say this however, alot of the women I have met ..when all said and done really just wanted a decent guy to have sex with...that is another forum, so as far as internet dating sucking for guys..I whole heartedly disagree.
Whataday, I wholeheartedly agree with you, and my experience largely parallels yours. From both personal experience, observation, and general discussion with people who I have had "offline" conversations with here, I think that both men and women, who approach online dating with a positive attitude and realistic expectations, generally find it to be worthwhile.
The people who complain the most, are generally those who are unrealistic about the medium, or who allow a few disappointments to color their view in a negative way. Very few people who see the opposite sex as "mostly" bad in one way or another, are going to "attract" someone. No one who "expects" someone else to "fix" his/her feelings is likely to find what he/she is looking for. And, people who think that it's simply "point and click" to find the "love of your life", with no effort, introspection, or adjustment, are likely to find the medium lacking.
However, there are an awful lot of people meeting this way, and to say it's "better" or "worse" for one sex or the other, defies logic. On a heterosexual dating site, most couples are going to include both a man, as well as a woman. | |
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/14/2007 9:19:29 AM |
Whataday, I wholeheartedly agree with you, and my experience largely parallels yours. From both personal experience, observation, and general discussion with people who I have had "offline" conversations with here, I think that both men and women, who approach online dating with a positive attitude and realistic expectations, generally find it to be worthwhile.
Agree with you that a person needs positive attitude and realistic expectations to be sucessful.
I have a good number of friends who i meet on POF and two are very close friends.
Tomorrow i am going to a XMAS party with a some of the people from the HAMILTON HOPPER - which is a POF event
Hope one day to take my future partner to this XMAS party.
If i did not go to one of Hamilton Hopper event then i would have a lot less friends
The people who complain the most, are generally those who are unrealistic about the medium, or who allow a few disappointments to color their view in a negative way.
I hear the comment from women "Where are the good man"
Many on them are on POF but they are the ones who do NOT get replies to their email or the woman they attract are NOTHING like what there profiles states.
Many of the good men have given up emailing woman and are going to POF events instead where woman will get to see the WHOLE person instead of just a picture and a profile.
One couple who meet at the Hamilton Hoppers are together and expecting a baby.
I saw them last tuesday and it was her birthday.
Another success story for POF.
Very few people who see the opposite sex as "mostly" bad in one way or another, are going to "attract" someone. No one who "expects" someone else to "fix" his/her feelings is likely to find what he/she is looking for. And, people who think that it's simply "point and click" to find the "love of your life", with no effort, introspection, or adjustment, are likely to find the medium lacking.
Most Woman in their 30's put no effort and expect men to contract them and will be on POF for a long time.
Two i emailed have been on POF for at least 2 years and also have profiles on other dating sites and still NO reply to my email.
Many woman in their last 30's and 40's do look at men's profile and EMAIL men first and some are looking for younger men.
One of the reason woman in their 30's are having a hard time finding good man is the woman in their 40s' are now hunting for them
However, there are an awful lot of people meeting this way, and to say it's "better" or "worse" for one sex or the other, defies logic. On a heterosexual dating site, most couples are going to include both a man, as well as a woman.
The latest stats say about 5-10% of couple who get married meet on a internet dating site and these couples would not ever meet in the real world. | |
|
atlast
|
Joined: 2/25/2007
Msg: 910 | |
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/14/2007 9:38:23 AM | | Let's figure this out. Internet dating sucks for guys because I get to meet great gals from all over the world that I otherwise would never be able to talk to, and it is great for women because all these toads with bad attitudes harass them and try to bully them into going out with them? I see. | |
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/14/2007 9:48:42 AM | | loll it more than sucks here, the Internet dating isn't really my thing but thought I would try it,I have found with this site it is a lot of bull shit you would have better luck at the local Walmart in my opinion and less games,I think that a lot of woman on this site are just here for fun and a few are in fantasy land in short I don't think over half of the woman on sites like this really know what the hell they want. I see it this way if I do meet someone who isn't in fantasy land she will know she is the only angel on earth in my eyes and will know she is really loved but if they snooz they lose hey it's not my loss............................................................................ | |
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/14/2007 2:35:59 PM | Sad but so true.. on line dating for us men can suck for so many reasons, it can give a un attractive woman a false sense of power and or make them feel that they are attractive, when ,in fact they are not....! But do remember why would a guy want a lady like that in the first place, who is so picky and or has a list a mile long of ridicules wants, needs and or must haves, such as must be 6'1" tall built like such and such, must have good teeth, hair must be 3.5" long, must have blue eyes, blond hair, bla, bla bla....I just move on as fast as I can, they really don't want a guy.. there guy does not exsist...........I think they just want a ego boost or something that has nothing to do with an on line dating web site. I was very lucky to have found a very sweet, sexy and drop dead gorgeous lady only after one month of being on POF....good luck guys.. You only need to find one lady... the rest of them will still be here for a long time looking for that 10 that does not exist.  | |
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/14/2007 5:17:28 PM | | 100% agree with the OP. Thats why im only here for the forums because I already know its just going to be big disappointment and being average does not help my chances either so I don't want to bother any women here. Dating sucks for men period. | |
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/14/2007 6:36:15 PM | I refuse to be pessimistic. :)
Internet dating's been fine for me.. I met my last girlfriend online and had a great time.
POF is working out well so far, and I've only been here a week. | |
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/16/2007 9:22:24 PM | | Agreed: this site seriously sucks and has major problems especially for the men on here. Girls almost never reply. I get about maybe one response for every 20 sent messages. It's horrible. | |
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/16/2007 9:38:20 PM | | To be honest, upon registration on this site, there should be some sort of warning for men along the lines of 'be prepared to be rejected thousands of times. Try not to get too upset because there are plenty of fish out there ...' | |
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/16/2007 9:49:34 PM | If it makes you feel any better I also send messages to a lot of girls now and then casually.. but I don't hear from the majoirty from them either.. and sometimes when I do I get a weird answer back (unfriendly).
If every guy is messaging the same girl, you do the same! You gotta be in the game to win it!
True most of them don't have time to search.. just like in real life.. men are lining up for them.
Message them though, you might get lucky.
I have many times. | |
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/16/2007 10:00:51 PM | | Please, you should try being over 40 and curvy. And did you hear what you said? "The good-looking gwoman on a dating site." Do you think that is not relative? If a woman is not 24, blond with big breasts and a pert butt, she is not considered "good looking." Take a look at some of the male profiles...you will consistently see big fat slobby guys in icky torn tshirts stating that they are "fit and attractive" when clearly they are not. Yet even these duds seem to think they are entiteld to a Julia Roberts-lookalike. Maybe the problem is that you are only going after the fluff girls, the Barbies, the ones who are looking for a sugar daddy, or the ones who are too young/stupid to know a good man when they see one. | |
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/17/2007 7:50:57 AM |
Agreed: this site seriously sucks and has major problems especially for the men on here. Girls almost never reply. I get about maybe one response for every 20 sent messages. It's horrible.
I would suggest going to some of the POF events.
One couple meet at the weekly POF event in Hamilton and they are in love and expecting a baby and they would NOT neet have meet if they did NOT meet there.
I rarely emailed while i was still looking since i have the same response rate.
Wwoman who do NOT reply then are not really serious and they are NOT the right woman for ANY man and should be avoided.
Woman who put NO effort in finding someone are going to be on this site for years. | |
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/17/2007 8:18:35 AM | It isnt' BS for the women.
The combined two times I've been on this site I've been contacted by 2 men. That is it. I have been doing all the initial contact and except for a few 'thanks but no thanks' have never heard anything back. It isn't just the woman wanting "tall,dark, handsome". In my personal experience since Ive been single I can see the same going on with the men. The men my age seem to be gravitating to the 'younger,slim,perky(and I don't mean personality) women.
Rejection and frustration happens to both sexes. I just have to keep reminding myself that I'm a darn good woman and somewhere out there is some man who will be lucky enough to find me one day. | |
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/17/2007 8:24:30 AM | I think it's important to put everything into perspective. This site and others like it are primarily for entertainment purposes. It's nice to get e-mails from strangers (and sometimes not), but often enough those same strangers are nothing of what they present on here. Once bitten, twice shy, eh? On the rare occasion (very rare) someone might write something that is completely captivating that compels the recipient to write back, otherwise you're just one of the many.
Everyone (including men) have a pretty good idea of what they are looking for and yes, women do have a far greater choice which enables them to be far more discriminating. I would suggest that if they don't write back, they don't think it will work. This is a good thing. Why would you want to waste your time in an enterprise that has no chance for success? You know less wasted time and all that. Actually, I feel sorry for attractive women on dating sites. They receive a plethora of e-mails from mostly lonely and average men who have little to offer and thereby have to weed through all the mediocrity to find a needle in a haystack. Often the needle remains lost.
You may or may not find a person that to have fun and frolic with from a dating site. Chances are you won't. The odds are against you if you review the stats. Personally I like reading profiles. Some are incredibly well-written and I can see a kindred spirit in these people but it doesn't mean I want to spend the rest of my life with them.
Take your time. Everything will play out as it is meant to and nobody should ever settle out of frustration or impatience. Any union based on this premise would be doomed to disaster. | |
|
| |
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/17/2007 8:40:56 AM | | The Biggest thing you have to remember is that since you know they get so many emails you talk to them as an individuals and not just a copy and paste job to 15 chicks ya know? I've talked to at least 5 or 6 girls out of the few I've emailed and I really think standing out and opening with a good conversation about them is the key. had any luck since your original post? | |
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/17/2007 11:36:27 AM |
To be honest, upon registration on this site, there should be some sort of warning for men along the lines of 'be prepared to be rejected thousands of times. Try not to get too upset because there are plenty of fish out there
Why is it, do you suppose, that some men get a reply 90% of the time, even if it is a polite email to say that I'm not her type, or she's involved, or whatever? Then there are other men, who whine and complain that they "never" get replies?
Is it possible, do you suppose, that the reason isn't that POF is to "blame", but has something to do with the content, attitude, and tone of the email?
Just wondering, because I haven't encountered the "no responses" dynamic. The funny thing is, when I was sending out "first contact" emails, I didn't much care if she answered or not, unless her answer was to display reciprocal interest. | |
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/17/2007 11:58:41 AM | All you really need to do is look at photo ratings of men compared to woman... Men on the average have much lower ratings. This goes to show just how picky women get on these sites, because they have a never ending stream of horndogs contacting them.
As for me, i guess im fairly lucky. I don't contact hardly anyone and get a fair share of contacts. I attribute this to having a good photo, honestly I think woman are far more shallow then men on this site, once you get past the perverts ofcourse. | |
|
|
| Page 37 of 86
|
23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63 |
|
Home
login 
