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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/22/2007 5:15:53 PM | To this poster, I am 51 years old. The success I had was when I was younger in my 20's-30's.
So that may make a difference.
As far as attititude, it is the same with the exception that I am a LOT (over a 4-5 yerar period trying internet dating and I started out thinking it was like using the PRINT personal ads I had good luck with) more frustrated by the reluctance of the women to share any real information about themselves or provide phone numbers.
Using Print ads, women HAD to send me a phone number for me to contact them. That was the way the system worked.
And if you are that afraid to give out a cell number, buy a prepaid cell.
Just use it for dating. They cost $20.00 at Walmart and you buy prepaid airtime starting at $20.00 Total investment=$40.00 for the chance to meet Mr. Right.
Lastly, in the area I live, people tend to move into it when there are a lot of jobs and leave when the jobs end.
This happens in great numbers.
So you have a different population living in Dallas than you did in the 80's and 90's.
If you are lucky enough to get such fast results you are indeed lucky.
And women are different in other areas of the country. I gave a waitress a $1.00 at a bar in the northeast for a trip for bring drinks in the late 90's and she just about kissed me. I have left the same amount for bartenders in Dallas and they did not bother to pick it up.
So if you are a big fish in a small pond so to speak, you will be more successful in dating.
But in Dallas, it takes real $$$.
Few seem to get any dates on any internet site from other date forums (not POF) that I have visisted. Peshaps you live where there is 1 man and 10 women per population?
That does happen .- | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/22/2007 6:46:35 PM | Maybe...but I beg to differ, OP, when it comes to saying it ISN'T the same for SOME women. For instance...I've been separated from my husband for some years (forget about the WHY for now...that isn't the issue here), so that's one strike against me still being legally tied to someone, although not emotionally. Then take into the mix that I have two school-age children at home with me nearly ALL the time...another strike. What? no sitter? No, because when my ex left years back, I was not only ill myself, but had a son with a disorder who I was having to homeschool and am just now getting to a point where I can look for work, but do not have a job at the moment....so no chance for a sitter OR paying for half /all of any date some new-age guy might expect from me...another two strikes against me. Top that with the fact that I'm not as liberal in my views on dating, sex, and relationships as many seem to be on here and other sites....yet another strike....a fistfull of reasons right there for a guy NOT to contact me, and that isn't even all of them.
Sure, you guys have it hard, and I feel for ya, but I'm a 44 yr old mom who actually has issues that make her undesireable for most to talk to, much less become connected to, and you wanna whine that you are some adonis who's being neglected? Pleeeeeze , OP....I just can't feel sorry for people like you who have admittedly been gawked after by the real world and now feel slighted because you AREN'T online!!! According to your own admission, man....you could go out in public and pick up some chick with little effort...so DO SO!!!!! Oh, or is it just the IN thing to do now to pick up a chick online, only none in your league seem to want you now because they've found more attractive men than they were previously exposed to? I'm seriously not trying to put you down here...just trying to get you to see how that post of yours sounds to those of us who have less superficial issues as to why there is no mail or dates going on. Might wanna think about that. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/22/2007 10:14:23 PM | first, if you have such a negative opinion, why are you here?
second, if women post just a normal picture and create an honest profile, they have it just as tough as any man.
third, i have made contact with men that were of interest to me, and responded if what i viewed on their profile seemed in line with what i am looking for. if i do not respond, or delete, it is not personal. it just means that i know what i want and that person is not it.
so please, do not vent just because you have not found success. perhaps if you take a more positive view of the potential, you will. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/22/2007 11:08:01 PM | Yeah right!
I hear this all the time! "Women don't want needy men." My ass they don't! If they wanted strong successful independent men, why are many of the most successful men in the world single into their middle ages? It is because most women want a guy that makes them feel like they need them, while successful men, (and women) desire an equal. And no, I know what you're going to say..."single successful men like fooling around and sleeping with a new girl all the time..." Wrong! While some in the limelight of Hollywood and such may be this way, most guys just want a partner that makes them feel EQUAL.
The same could be said about the fact that the media makes it seem like all women should be supermodel-esque. Women say that men are pigs and shallow, yet on dating sites like this, 9 out of ten women lie about their weight, contact guys that very specifically note they type of women that they are interested in even though they know they themselves aren't what he's looking for, and the really hot girls never ever contact real, normal, decent and genuine guys like myself. So I ask, Who is shallow? Who is needy? Well, we all are. Human nature states it as fact. Only the strongest survive, and only the most attractive hump the most attractive!
Of course there are the exceptions, but then again the existence of the Platypus shows that there always are. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/23/2007 2:52:07 AM |
If they wanted strong successful independent men, why are many of the most successful men in the world single into their middle ages?
Well aaronland (msg 959), it could be a number of reasons:
1. they choose to be single
2.they treat women like shit
3.they have very small p*nises
4.just unlucky
and the really hot girls never ever contact real, normal, decent and genuine guys like myself.
Maybe these hot girls think you are 'shallow' because you want to contact them because you think they are 'hot'....
Or maybe these 'hot girls' think you are all full of sh*t...
Who knows and who gives a f*ck...
It is my understanding on most dating sites, women cannot stand men who whine.....well unfortunately most of the guys who complain about women, come across as whiners..
Can't allthese bitter guys swallow their anger....and just post some interesting threads, instead of bashing women and expecting sympathy. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/23/2007 2:57:10 AM | And where exactly did you get your information from to form these opinions about woman and internet dating?
Actually, it's just become common knowledge...but if you do want to know where some of us get our information.
For example....I know of a female acquaintence of mine who hangs out in social groups consantly (don't ask me why she regressed to online dating...she meets enough guys in real life as it is)
Friend of hers told me that within like days, she's received 200 emails!
Me? Zero ANd I was lucky if I could land a lunch meeting once every few months.
I've heard testimonials from even mildly attractive women who get SLAMMED with emails as if they were a celebrity.
For Merlot man.....I think there is some legitimacy to the issues that men have with meeting real pieces of work out there.
There are 2 types of SINGLE people
The pyschos *itches that are also single into their 30's and 40's as well
AND the Single, stable, decent people such as myself....who RUN across the ones that I just stated. LOL! | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/23/2007 3:05:39 AM |
the Single, stable, decent people such as myself....who RUN across the ones that I just stated. LOL!
Jeeze and people call me arrogant.  If you have to say it about yourself then that means it's just not true. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/23/2007 3:09:01 AM |
and the really hot girls never ever contact real, normal, decent and genuine guys like myself.
Why would hot girls contact you when they can get a hot guy ?A handsome man can still be decent ,genuine and normal. Why is it that average guys always have to down handsome men? Very jealous. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/23/2007 3:20:09 AM |
Jeeze and people call me arrogant. If you have to say it about yourself then that means it's just not true.
It's not arrogance, just stating a fact that's all. Saying that I'm "Stable" is not an arrogant statement. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/23/2007 4:26:45 AM | | YES,some for the woman to!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Man is looking the pictures and if the woman show more from her body more e-mails coming.I read profile and man is "looking" good hearted woman,honest woman........ but send e-mail for the best looking woman,who show her breast or more.... | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/23/2007 4:47:18 AM | Me, See I am fit...been that way for the last 25 years. I drive a nice car, got good credit and have a masters degree and a good job. Now, I never email the cute women on these sites (Too many guys are doing that). I go for the B- to C- women and sometimes a D woman. Why? Cause they probably think I am a good catch or would be more appreciative of being in the company of a fit guy they may think is sorta cute. You see how it works? If you are good looking then be the trophy for a not so good looking woman and make her happy she snagged you. Two good looking people don't match...sorry. If I am fit..then the woman should be a little overweight or average...maybe fat depends on her. What I am saying is.....Lower your standards..you are not here to marry someone (Lets be real). And ugly chubby women are usually great a sex and much much much cheaper dates.
I am sure they find your arrogance very attractive, but the main word that comes to mind it USER! You apparently do not care about women's feelings. Use her and lose her? Lower standards. Based on what you wrote here, most women would never lower their standards enough to scrape bottom and pick you up. I normally do not "pick on" people, but you are one cold hearted man. Your profile should carry a warning label. Here is your sign
TO REGALROSE: I tried to send you an email to tell you if you are looking for work to check out the website www.indeed.com Good luck. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/23/2007 7:26:14 AM | Internet dating doesn't "suck" for anyone. It's a medium that, if used properly, works just fine. It's like saying "real life" sucks. For some people it does, and for others, life is, on balance, quite good.
What internet dating does is greatly expand the "available universe" of the opposite sex, allows one to get to know someone at some depth, prior to making a date, and, if profiles and/or posts are read, one can quickly peruse a lot of people, to find the few that might "fit".
The problem is that some guys look at internet dating, as if it were amazon.com, a point and click exercise, sort of like looking through a catalog, or as if it weren't like talking to a woman in the real world. There is an expectation by some, that if they "want to buy it", they immediately proceed to "check out" and have a SO shipped to them. Some women look at it, as if it were ebay, and merely posting a profile will mean that the "bidding" will start, as if they don't need to make any effort to be attractive to men.
Among the millions of people on POF, there is a sizeable percentage of those who really aren't willing to date, those who have "issues" that would make them poor choices, and those who just don't "get it" as to how to make a connection online. Those are the people, who can be found in the fora in abundance, whining and complaining. Those same people, in an earlier age, would be the ones complaining about singles club after singles club, saying that this one, then that, "sucked", never stopping to look inside themselves for the answers.
I've posted before that, between relationships, I've used online dating going back over 8 years. It's consistently "worked", and it's not like there's anything apparent about me, that would make me in greater demand than most other guys. So, if it "sucks" for someone, there are usually reasons, and those reasons aren't about the medium of online dating. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/23/2007 8:16:02 AM |
I've had jerks message me and men my father's age message me.. Frankly I've had enough!
When I read posts like this, my visceral reaction is "so what?". I get email, now and then, from women, who obviously haven't read my profile. Perhaps they're reacting to a post, or age/geography, or whatever, but they are obviously not my "type". Among other things, I make it very clear that I'm in a relationship, but when I get one that seems to be towards exploring the possibility, it's really no big deal to respond politely, delete the email, and ignore any future email. On the other hand, I get email from women who are "young enough to be my daughter", that may merely be comments from the fora, and can be interesting to read.
So, we all get email from those who aren't our "matches", but I don't "get it" why that's a big problem? There's a "delete" button on POF, and if someone becomes a pest, there's a block option. If one went to a bar, there would be people coming up to talk, who weren't "attractive", and again, so what? | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/23/2007 9:14:03 AM |
Me, See I am fit...been that way for the last 25 years. I drive a nice car, got good credit and have a masters degree and a good job. Now, I never email the cute women on these sites (Too many guys are doing that). I go for the B- to C- women and sometimes a D woman. Why? Cause they probably think I am a good catch or would be more appreciative of being in the company of a fit guy they may think is sorta cute. You see how it works? If you are good looking then be the trophy for a not so good looking woman and make her happy she snagged you. Two good looking people don't match...sorry. If I am fit..then the woman should be a little overweight or average...maybe fat depends on her. What I am saying is.....Lower your standards..you are not here to marry someone (Lets be real). And ugly chubby women are usually great a sex and much much much cheaper dates. Good post fully agree. Average and slightly fat women are always much more fun to be with as they are less arrogant and more grateful. its just my mates who will take the piss outa me that pisses me off | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/23/2007 9:17:09 AM |
I get email, now and then, from women, who obviously haven't read my profile.
Yeah but you only get those messages every now and again . Try like 5o times a day and see how tiresome it gets. If i put up filters then people who are on the forums can't message me to talk about topics on here .
I always send off polite no thank you replies to every message but some men feel the need to be hateful. I guess their life of living in mom's basement surrounded by their collection of star wars figurine just does not prepare them for the harsh reality of rejection. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/23/2007 9:17:43 AM |
Average and slightly fat women are always much more fun to be with as they are less arrogant and more grateful.
Grateful that self-described hot guys want to lower themselves to be with them? I very seriously doubt that. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/23/2007 9:23:03 AM | | Roger every woman out there should bend you over and kick you in the ass as hard as they possibly can. Must be easy to look down on and to judge women who are chubby when you are too much of a friggen chicken to put up a picture. Men like you make me sick. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/23/2007 9:48:02 AM | I so agree, internet dating is what you make of it. I will e-mail, make the first contact,
I reply to all that send to me. As long as I am on this site, I prefer to treat all in the same manner as I am treated, with respect, dignity and oh yes, humour.
The superficial, rude, cruel downright insulting ones...hey do I really want to know them anyway, nope block on, n'est pas? | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/23/2007 12:50:06 PM |
So, we all get email from those who aren't our "matches", but I don't "get it" why that's a big problem? There's a "delete" button on POF, and if someone becomes a pest, there's a block option. If one went to a bar, there would be people coming up to talk, who weren't "attractive", and again, so what?
Good points melo and as you can see for some it has still falls on deaf ears.
I get the impression for some instead of making the necessary adjustments to learn the fora they would rather b&m.
I find, to take that approach very unproductive and to had a negative attitude would hinder your success in your pursue in finding a suitable mate. Yes, like anything worth doing, it does take a little work on your part. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/23/2007 1:18:04 PM | Hey annikagirl, I was not complaining! Only stating facts and observations. I'd much rather be turned down by a girl like you that would actually tell a guy that he is not handsome, than be ignored by someone whom I thought was actually worth my time. 'Hotness' is very subjective as I'm sure you know. I work in an industry where you yourself would probably be considered average looking. I have no problems with what I look like, or who I am. I do just fine, and certainly am not jealous of anyone because of their looks! Seems to me like you are the one with "little pathetic whining men" issues.
I have met a lot of cool people on POF, as well as a lot of crazy people, and I wouldn't 'Dis' a single one of them. Until now.
How angry does that make you? Will you reply with another snotty and arrogant reply? Wasn't it you that said, "If you have to say it about yourself, then it isn't true."
Please, don't turn the forums into knife jabbing sessions! This is just a place for people to communicate their thoughts and receive useful feedback.
And yes, I know. You are very hot indeed. Why would anyone like you want to go out with a troll such as myself. (Notice, thats a statement, not a question...)
Love you all!  | |
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