|
|
|
|
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/23/2007 9:48:02 AM | I so agree, internet dating is what you make of it. I will e-mail, make the first contact,
I reply to all that send to me. As long as I am on this site, I prefer to treat all in the same manner as I am treated, with respect, dignity and oh yes, humour.
The superficial, rude, cruel downright insulting ones...hey do I really want to know them anyway, nope block on, n'est pas? | |
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/23/2007 12:50:06 PM |
So, we all get email from those who aren't our "matches", but I don't "get it" why that's a big problem? There's a "delete" button on POF, and if someone becomes a pest, there's a block option. If one went to a bar, there would be people coming up to talk, who weren't "attractive", and again, so what?
Good points melo and as you can see for some it has still falls on deaf ears.
I get the impression for some instead of making the necessary adjustments to learn the fora they would rather b&m.
I find, to take that approach very unproductive and to had a negative attitude would hinder your success in your pursue in finding a suitable mate. Yes, like anything worth doing, it does take a little work on your part. | |
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/23/2007 1:18:04 PM | Hey annikagirl, I was not complaining! Only stating facts and observations. I'd much rather be turned down by a girl like you that would actually tell a guy that he is not handsome, than be ignored by someone whom I thought was actually worth my time. 'Hotness' is very subjective as I'm sure you know. I work in an industry where you yourself would probably be considered average looking. I have no problems with what I look like, or who I am. I do just fine, and certainly am not jealous of anyone because of their looks! Seems to me like you are the one with "little pathetic whining men" issues.
I have met a lot of cool people on POF, as well as a lot of crazy people, and I wouldn't 'Dis' a single one of them. Until now.
How angry does that make you? Will you reply with another snotty and arrogant reply? Wasn't it you that said, "If you have to say it about yourself, then it isn't true."
Please, don't turn the forums into knife jabbing sessions! This is just a place for people to communicate their thoughts and receive useful feedback.
And yes, I know. You are very hot indeed. Why would anyone like you want to go out with a troll such as myself. (Notice, thats a statement, not a question...)
Love you all!  | |
|
| |
| |
| |
| |
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/23/2007 2:16:55 PM |
aaron honey nothing you could say could hurt me or make me angry.You are just one more angry bitter average guy who is pissed that i would not ever want you.
Men who are bitter, average or not, generally are angry at "all women" that they aren't in great demand, and are the ones who fall into the delusion that the internet is good for women, and bad for men. Those "bitter men" have their female counterparts, who, likewise, are angry at "all men", because there are men who aren't attracted to them.
Appropos of nothing at all, I can see a physically attractive 25 year old, and be aware of her beauty, but not have an "active" want of having her in my life. I already have a 25 year old in my life, my daughter.
Physical beauty is the first thing people notice of course, and looks are part of attraction, but attraction quickly turns to disinterest, when confronted with a difficult or unpleasant personality. Having dated a fair number of truly beautiful women, I know those who count themselves fortunate for having that as a God given asset, as opposed to those who "define themselves" on their looks alone, who seem to always be angry and miserable deep inside.
In any case, there are both women and men, who have the looks and are of the age, who will draw a lot of email, from those who are both "appropriate" and "inappropriate". That has nothing to do with my experience of online dating. I've had a satisfactory experience with online dating, from women who are both physically and emotionally attractive, and also "appropriate" to my stage of life. The ones who aren't, are irrelevant to my personal experience with this medium. | |
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/23/2007 2:28:26 PM | C'mon people. This thread has been running for two years. And it's gone from it's original intent to a pointless arguement about looks. If you're looking for a decent relationship looks should not be your top priority.
You're flogging a dead horse here folks. Let it rest in peace. | |
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/23/2007 2:56:38 PM |
C'mon people. This thread has been running for two years. And it's gone from it's original intent to a pointless arguement about looks. If you're looking for a decent relationship looks should not be your top priority.
You're flogging a dead horse here folks. Let it rest in peace.
I've never understood the mindset that some have, that if they've tired of a thread, that everyone else "should be" and the thread "should" die.
This thread just goes on and on, because there is a new crop of "whiners" needing to post "poor me" coming out to the fora with each passing day. Those are the people who consistently have poor results, but need it to be "somebody else's fault", and this thread was made for those sorts of posts.  | |
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/23/2007 3:24:15 PM | Roger every woman out there should bend you over and kick you in the ass as hard as they possibly can. Must be easy to look down on and to judge women who are chubby when you are too much of a friggen chicken to put up a picture. Men like you make me sick. I'm sorry annikagirl I don't think you read my post! I was agreeing with the guy and said I LIKE them sorts of average girls. They are far more fun to be around than arrogant girls like you | |
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/23/2007 4:38:28 PM | It's all been on topic because in the last couple of pages, the proof is in the replies and comments.
You have despicable, pretentious and conceited women posting (bragging) they get 50 plus messages a day. Guys are talking about how it's difficult to establish communications and relations online.
The thread continues because people want to re-assert the topic's theme. It's not whining.   | |
|
| |
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/23/2007 5:00:31 PM | Guys are talking about how it's difficult to establish communications and relations online.
The thread continues because people want to re-assert the topic's theme. It's not whining.
It's not POF, because there are many people on here, who are establishing communications, making dates, and finding relationships from here. Some people do, and others don't. If the ones who don't, seek to validate themselves by finding other men who are having bad results, instead of looking at what they're doing, with an eye to making changes to get better results, so be it. It's whining, and pointless. No one has decreed that you have to continue to have difficulty, but you'll never change your results by self-defeating posts about how "hard" it is.
In the world of dating, I'm "average" at best. I'm older than most, not wealthy or famous. Yet, I know that if I were just joining POF today, that I could find an attractive and interesting woman to make a date with by mid-January. That is simply truth for any guy who makes an effort to use this medium as intended, with an open mind and positive expectations. Focusing on past disappointments, or the ones who don't answer your emails, etc., does nothing but drain away the positive energy that it takes to be "attractive" to the women who are "looking" to find someone.
| |
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/25/2007 6:39:55 PM | My rant as a woman.............. I am new to the forums and pretty much ,I lke the advise and what not I have received. But, it sucks for us women too, I tried to read many of the posts on this matter, and no I do not belive it is aboutr looks, but it can be somewhat.
I myself, yes the attraction must be there, he does not have to be Brad Pitt etc, but must be within my preferences I stated, I keep my pictures private for work reasons, and am more than willing to send them to other's that e-mail me.
My experience has been in dating online for many years, I am sure I will get critizied for this but here goes.
1. You meet, you click, he states he will call to set up another date.. he never calls, and do not get on me about me calling ok? I have in the past and then feel needy when they do not return a phone call, so I refuse to do so anymore, I do not want to appear stalkerish.
2. They say they are interested in you, write you a few times, maybe a few telephone calls, never hear from them again. I always answer my e-mails even if I am not attracted to the person and or they live to far away.
3. They are way too busy searching on here, most.. my experience can not only date one person, they must date many to find the one. Not saying that is so bad, but at least keep the names straight ok? Don't expect me to have sex with you, if you are dating everyone in town either. I like sex when and if in a exclusive relationship. I am the type I want to get to know one, after a few dates he isn't... next...
4. Most are looking for sex, I am not and am very clear on that in my profile, I am clear about many thiungs, but I still get bombarded by married men etc.
5. Meet someone get along, they can not seem to take 5 minutes of their day to cntact you.. man I am way too old fashioned, I believe in chivalry way too much!! UGH
So, that is my rant, and it sucks for some women as it does men.
Thank You | |
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/25/2007 8:05:56 PM |
You have despicable, pretentious and conceited women posting (bragging) they get 50 plus messages a day.
Wow.. I've never actually wanted to be thought of like that before.. but hmm.. if those b*tches are getting 50 messages a day. Where do I sign? | |
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/25/2007 9:40:09 PM |
Yet, I know that if I were just joining POF today, that I could find an attractive and interesting woman to make a date with by mid-January.
Put up or shut up.
By mid-January? Go to it, mate. She has to post to say that yes, she went on a date with you, there's another date in the works, and it wasn't just to prove me wrong or out of pity. | |
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/25/2007 9:48:11 PM | You make some great points here, especially in contrasting online "dating" with the dating forums of the pre-internet days. Yes, online dating forums "suck", and so does bad weather when you've planned a picnic. The internet has been a great facilitator for commerce, but an equally great adversary of human sociality. And when we apply a business solution to a complex a thing as human relationships, things get ugly (sort of like trying to run government like a for-profit business; they are entirely two different species with different metabolisms where food for the one is poison for the other). Just take a look at the forum postings; for every "eharmony commercial" one finds on these pages, there are 100 complaints - most of which are valid, and most of which most of us have experienced to some degree or other. If internet dating didn't "suck", I imagine the ratio would be the other way around. I've heard people "dis" the "meat markets" of the pre-internet days, but frankly, I've never felt more like a piece of (virtual) meat than in the online dating world. (And to add insult, I'm beginning to feel like a piece of virtual meat in a world of virtual vegans - couldn't resist the joke.) It's got the same look-and-feel as, say, Amazondotcom - but instead of selling books and CDs, it's about selling "profiles". Honestly, there is no substitute for "real" life. If we are anything at all, it is only in a social context. One day, the world will realize what a failure it was to believe that "real life" could happen in cyberspace, log off of their computers, and go out and actually utter a civil or interesting word to another human being (of the opposite sex and otherwise), and have that picnic that got washed out with the weather. But I'm not going to go out and stand on the corner waiting for the rest of the world to show up. Most of us will be long gone by the time that happens. So, like everybody else, I'll just hang out under the eaves with the rest of the crowd until we find a better way to do it. Yes, it's uncomfortable. Yes, it sucks. But what are the alternatives. | |
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/28/2007 9:29:10 AM | Judy Tanuda says "have you ever found your self dating because you were too lazy to commite suicide?" It amounts to staying with the wrong one to avoid being without one.
Before the post start coming--I know suicide is a sad thing. | |
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/28/2007 9:38:01 AM | Women certainly have the Upper-Hand, there . . !!
It's just a Pity that more men can't get off of their One-tracked-mind,
long enough to show some Class, Manners and Respect .. and attract a Nice Lady . . !!! | |
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/28/2007 10:29:39 AM |
when we apply a business solution to a complex a thing as human relationships, things get ugly
Actually I disagree. I think one can best understand the overall dynamic of "online dating" by applying a marketing paradigm. It's not "personal", until you actually connect with a specific woman, so it's meaningless, on a personal level, when some stranger isn't interested. While I tried to individualize each first contact email, I viewed it as I would sending email to a prospective client in business. It's sent, and out of mind, unless there is an indication of interest. If there isn't an answer, it's what is to be expected, and it's not "personal".
During the initial conversations, it's more "customer needs analysis", along with fact finding, in the first couple of emails, until one determines if the needs of the "prospect" line up well with my ability to "meet those needs", and if what the "prospect" has to offer is, likewise, going to meet my needs. If we are "in sync", at that point, it becomes increasingly "personal", and emotions begin to develop.
I don't "get it" when I read men who are offended, hurt, or have their identities called into question by responses, or lack therof, of total strangers, who know almost nothing about them, other than a profile. It's not about "you". It's just the way that an "open market" works.
Which is another thing I keep in mind. Women can say that they "won't settle", and guys can too, but one's "market value" is determined by who one is able to interest in the possibility of exploring a relationship. If a woman overvalues her "market value", she can only unilaterally "set the terms" with men who undervalue theirs. For me, there is the potential for exploring things, when a "win/win" basis is established, when two people naturally are able to, and interested in, meeting each other's needs, and when there is reciprocal interest in "making the deal."
So, as I've said before, my experience with online dating has been quite good, balanced with both people getting "fair value" from the "exchange", and I simply don't know where this view of it being weighted in favor of one sex or the other comes from. | |
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/28/2007 10:33:54 AM | If I run into a female and engage her in conversation she will pay attention to me and only me.
That being said, online dating is like running into a female with a zillion other guys - am I going to expect her to single ME out of all those guys ? Can you say 1 in a zillion shot ? | |
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/28/2007 11:53:17 AM |
My experience has been in dating online for many years, I am sure I will get critizied for this but here goes.
1. You meet, you click, he states he will call to set up another date.. he never calls
for many guys, if you don't connect in person sufficiently for things to be sexual on the first meet, they assume that you're "just not into them" and they move on. A guy saying "I'll call" is sort of like a woman saying "we must do lunch sometime". If a guy means it, he'll make the next date with you, before the first one ends.
2. They say they are interested in you, write you a few times, maybe a few telephone calls, never hear from them again.
He found out something that tells him that "you're just not a match", so he's "just not into you"
3. They are way too busy searching on here, most.. my experience can not only date one person, they must date many to find the one.
If a guy is serious, he will focus on one woman at a time, but if he's done the internet thing before, he knows that no matter how great it seems online, there's a 1 in 3 chance of it really working in person, so he's kind of looking around, in case things don't really click in person. Some guys want to get a head start on "Ms. Next" if the first date ends with a handshake.
4. Most are looking for sex
Yes, many men believe that sex is part of dating
I am the type I want to get to know one, after a few dates he isn't
see earlier comments re: why he stops emailing, or why he doesn't call after date #1.
5. Meet someone get along, they can not seem to take 5 minutes of their day to cntact you..
see earlier comments re: no sex | |
|
| |
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/28/2007 1:17:01 PM | | I know a few women who will gfo out with a guy get him to pay for dinner and move on to the next guy, they have no intentioon of getting serious and just are on here to get free meals. | |
|
|
| Page 40 of 89
|
26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66 |
|
Home
login 
