|
|
|
|
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/28/2007 8:52:41 PM | | There are a lot of mooches out there for sure. Both men and women. Sad excuses for people if you ask me. I can't believe so many people have no pride. I would be ashamed to do something like that but I know it happens. | |
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/28/2007 8:55:54 PM | On all of my dates I offer to pay my own way. And I've paid for dinner for both of us on several occasions. I certainly won't refuse a treat if offered. My point is - not all women view this as a "free meal ticket". Some of us are looking for companionship and are willing to act as equal partners from the start, even if nothing comes of it.
Nancy | |
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/28/2007 9:02:55 PM |
There are a lot of mooches out there for sure. Both men and women. Sad excuses for people if you ask me. I can't believe so many people have no pride. I would be ashamed to do something like that but I know it happens.
I'm having a hard time taking it as a serious issue, that there might be some women, who would be interested in getting "free meals" from guys. I suppose that there are some few women who are, but so what? What's the big deal?
Of all the things to "worry" about, this is not what I'd call a "serious" risk. To be defensive about something so minor, is really self-defeating. | |
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/28/2007 9:32:53 PM | | I'm not sure how being a mooch has anything to do with a "serious risk". I think you're confused. I can't find any posts that are saying that being a mooch is a sign of a mass murderer or anything. It may not be a serious issue to you but it is a serious character flaw and a turn off. Someone with this mindset could take a lot more than just a meal from someone in the long run. It could definitely be an issue down the road if you were to have a relationship with someone like that. | |
|
naeco
|
Joined: 12/16/2007
Msg: 1005 | |
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/28/2007 9:45:04 PM |
I'm not sure how being a mooch has anything to do with a "serious risk". I think you're confused. I can't find any posts that are saying that being a mooch is a sign of a mass murderer or anything. It may not be a serious issue to you but it is a serious character flaw and a turn off. Someone with this mindset could take a lot more than just a meal from someone in the long run. It could definitely be an issue down the road if you were to have a relationship with someone like that.
Being a "mooch" isn't a serious risk, but it really is just a cute way of describing a person who is both a user and manipulative. If a person would use me to get a free meal (if that's indeed what she was doing), then she would use me for other things, too. In the last long term relationship I was in, she was a major manipulator, and by the time I realized what she had done, I didn't know what hit me - it was too late.
My point is that taking Minnie the Moocher out for a free meal isn't going to hurt you, but the fact that she would actually do that to you and others would be a huge sign of very bad things to come if you would become seriously involved with her. | |
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/28/2007 10:03:45 PM | don't agree- try to be friends and meet for 20-30 minutes to start. friends first , romance is the bonus. and find some common interest when you write to someone.. prove you read their profile. its not that hard. i've met so many nice girls to be friends with and lots that are interested to at least talk and meet in person..
just be positive and stick to friends first.. not "hey you are hot , i want to have sex with you" .. that line does not work even if that is what you really want. you might be surprised and meet a friend only (that has friends) or someone special to have a real relationship with .. Jersey Joel | |
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/28/2007 10:05:11 PM |
My point is that taking Minnie the Moocher out for a free meal isn't going to hurt you, but the fact that she would actually do that to you and others would be a huge sign of very bad things to come if you would become seriously involved with her.
Ok, but if you took out "Minnie the mooch", the original person who brought that up, had a scenario that she was "just out for a free meal", and then "on to the next guy". That's what "defined" her as a "mooch". So, by definition, you wouldn't be "involved" past that first dinner.
Part of the whole process of dating, from initial conversation to dating to exploring a relationship is discovery. Being able to find if you're compatible, if the relationship seems to be one that is evenly matched, with each contribuing his/her 50%. That's a separate issue from the "mooch for dinner" thing, which to me seems laughably unimportant to worry about. | |
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/29/2007 5:20:11 AM | You are absof&lutely right!! I get tons of e-mails,gifts,put on favorites lists, but I'm still alone.
We have to be "selective," after all is said and done, life is too short to settle for someone just
because they are interested in you. It works both ways. | |
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/29/2007 5:24:25 AM |
life is too short to settle for someone just
because they are interested in you. It works both ways.
Belisima i agree with you wholeheartedly.It's much better to live your life alone and happy ,then to be stuck in a relationship with someone you never really loved or were all that physically attracted too. | |
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/29/2007 7:28:06 AM | We have to be "selective," after all is said and done, life is too short to settle for someone just because they are interested in you. It works both ways.
It is okay not to settle when you have reasonable standards. The problem is many people ( not necessary you ) have expectations that are too high and unrealistic. They have a huge list of requirements that very few people would match. They want their potential date to have things that they don't have. Whether it's a fit body, high education level, high income etc. Yes they are entitled to have these requirements. Yet many people with unrealistic expectations are often the same people who complain about not finding a date. Can't have it both ways. | |
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/29/2007 8:02:38 AM | here is my opinion not all women are superfacial.....might some.....but speaking from my own perspective; I always response to them. anyway im just a simple person who really doesnt care what others might say. If i got a email i will gladly responded him.
what matters to me is to know the person first before i make my own judgment.we cannot really the person unless we spent time with that particular person. | |
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/29/2007 8:05:11 AM | | I agree with you Northeast. There are a lot of great people who are not perfect and anyone finding these people should consider themselves lucky. So called attraction is all in your head. People who are too picky and have giant requirement lists don't let themselves see the attractive qualities of a person that isn't perfect. There's nothing mystical about it. We can be attracted to anyone we choose if we give it a chance. People have these immature ideals that are so laughable. My best relationships have been with those that I didn't feel an attraction for at first. After being with them for a bit and seeing the real person, I became extremely attracted both mentally and physically to things I had never even noticed. In my opinion, people with these long lists of requirements who give nobody else a chance are delusional and obviously think they are better than most. Even though people like this may say they are looking for a real relationship, it's obvious they're just looking for a fling or fantasy of some kind. | |
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/29/2007 9:06:56 AM |
I know a few women who will go out with a guy get him to pay for dinner and move on to the next guy, they have no intentioon of getting serious and just are on here to get free meals
IMO, any woman who would do such a thing is short a few brain cells.
Having dinner with someone takes 1-2 hours, depending on the meal. That's from 60 to 120 minutes spent making small-talk with someone in whom one has absolutely no interest. That would equate into 60 to 120 minutes of excruciating boredom.
It takes work to make small-talk with someone in whom one has no interest, and I have way, way better things to do with my time and energy. | |
|
| Internet dating: ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS!
Posted: 12/29/2007 9:07:35 AM | I totally disagree. Its not just about women being LUCKY, as many of us are still trying to reach out just in a friendly way!
What sucks?? Is for GIVING people who write compliments, say HI and I can't tell you HOW MANY I have done that with..maybe 25 and I have gotten 3 nice notes back from the "classy" type!
I heard about 1x for every 8 I wrote...think on that! So you are NOT alone. I hate it when males like U make SWEEPING generalizations! Have you written men? No...so you have no idea what its like on the other side, unless you're gay.
Their profiles look great, and they say how communicative and fun they are, so I expect they will be friendly. I write to say HI...and most never even acknowledge it even if I ask 1 or 2 simple things about them!!! Talk about "common courtesy"...I guess few men my age feel that way anymore.
Am I a DOG? No! You figure it out...! I think some just are too lazy unless something PERFECT drops in their laps. They want LONG TERM before they even want a friend!! COME ONNNN...I have seen picky, picky on this side for sure.
If someone is too busy to reply after asking "drop me a line" or "ask me for a pic" and I'll get right back to you? And they don't???!! That is FRUSTRATING!...but its not just about women getting all the luck, remember that!
Think about it. For each woman to be happy here? There has to be a man!! Unless shes lesbian!
I'm guessing you're quite young and haven't really lived much yet as far as experiences online.
I try not to take it personally, but it does bug me that others aren't courteous enough to even say HI back or acknowledge they heard from me! Like "thanks for the nice comment!"
Some men DO WRITE that!! But VERY VERY FEW are that thoughtful or sensitive!
Not all the less attractive ones are that kind either!! But I have seen many great looking guys here who can sell themself on a profile but don't back anything up later.
I have met many more men who aren't as attractive who have the kindness, are CLASSY, INTELLIGENT and know how to treat a lady! The really "pretty boys" or those who "think their shxx don't stink?" are most times DOGS in disguise...the loser type...self centered, into their jobs and money so much, travelling for their jobs, oftentimes! Many men I've met online here think the world revolves around them, and for some it does, and thats why they are still alone! I'll pass on that kind! Met too many arrogant ones who boast about their material wealth, bank accts, toys, homes, cars, whatever!
There is nothing wrong with material things or money but when a person has to value himself on what he owns and boast about HIMSELF and HIS STUFF and not be interested in her or even enough to reply with a short classy note? I'll PASS........ | |
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/29/2007 9:53:09 AM | It is okay not to settle when you have reasonable standards. The problem is many people ( not necessary you ) have expectations that are too high and unrealistic. They have a huge list of requirements that very few people would match. They want their potential date to have things that they don't have. Whether it's a fit body, high education level, high income etc. Yes they are entitled to have these requirements. Yet many people with unrealistic expectations are often the same people who complain about not finding a date
The initial search for someone with whom to "connect" is an "open market". Part of the challenge for anyone re-entering the dating market, after a long marriage, is to determine a realistic sense of his/her "market value". It's fine to have preferences, and fine to have a wish list, but if one is unable to make a connection with those who "perfectly match" his/her wants, then one adjusts. There may still be a couple of "absolutes", that one must have, or not have, and the acceptance that it's better not to date, than to date someone who doesn't meet those absolutes. For me, those "absolutes" have to do with weight, and a belief in God.
For example, when first joining POF, I set my geographical limit to 25 miles, and there were few "available" women, none of whom seemed "interested", so I expanded that filter, and made 3 dates from the expanded universe.
When I first got divorced, after 19 years, I had a "mid life crisis" fantasy about a "younger woman", so I set out to find an "attractive 20 something". Well, yes, if I concentrated on finding one, I could, and did, find one. Now, having experienced that twice, I added "sane" to the list, and found that there are no attractive, 20 something, +sane 20 somethings who would be "interested". So, I adjusted to the market, and have been looking at women, who I should have been looking among in the first place.
The point is, the "market" is a great teacher. One can have a wish list, but your market value is what others tell you it is, not what you wish it could be, so, if you have no "takers" among women meeting your wish list, you can "adjust" and find someone who the market tells you is a good match, or you can go dateless, and come on the fora and whine about it. | |
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/29/2007 10:08:59 AM |
The point is, the "market" is a great teacher. One can have a wish list, but your market value is what others tell you it is, not what you wish it could be, so, if you have no "takers" among women meeting your wish list, you can "adjust" and find someone who the market tells you is a good match, or you can go dateless, and come on the fora and whine about it.
Too funny, Melo!  Especially the part about coming to the fora to whine about it. Recognize thyself, anyone? 
Interestingly, when I re-entered the dating world, I was under-estimating my market value. I learned to adjust my marketability in an upward trend. My husband leaving me (for another woman) did untold damage to my self-esteem, and I was quite astonished to find that men in 8-9-10 bracket were demonstrating interest in me.
As it turns out, I am now happily connected with an absolute 10-------in much more than just his appearance.  | |
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/29/2007 11:56:44 AM | | I agree with what some people have mentioned. Some people can be too picky, have a laundry list of requirements, and/or have unrealistic expectations and what's why internet dating can be bad for both genders. I'm not saying that people should marry or seriously date someone who is completely not their type. I think there is nothing wrong with talking to someone who is somewhat different than your ideal type. Sometimes you can find something about a person that you like that you never considered before or it wasn't on their profile. I am currently dating a man who is 12 yrs younger than me. If I had rejected him simply due to age, I would be missing out on a good match. One of my friends is dating a man who is 2 inches shorter than him. If she had rejected him just because of height, she would have missed out on a good match. One of my other friends is dating a man who is a few pounds overweight. If she had rejected him because of a few pounds, then she would have missed out on a good match . The worse thing that could happen is that you don't click after a few emails or dates. Then you move on. The people with the strict requirements are often the same people who complain about not finding a date. For example, a woman was complaining about men not giving her a chance because she is fat. Then when I looked at her profile, she had several requirements ( including height and not being bald ) that eliminated most men. That is hypocritical. | |
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/29/2007 12:02:06 PM |
The worse thing that could happen is that you don't click after a few emails or dates. Then you move on.
I never make a date with someone from online, unless we really click online first. That's a huge waste of time, and if you are "dating just to date", you aren't really connecting. I agree that some "preferences" are negotiable, but some are absolutes. You have to have some basis for deciding who, of the millions of the opposite sex one could find, is someone you're interested in getting to know. That's an individual thing, and the size of the apparent "available universe" of the opposite sex has a lot to do with it. | |
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/29/2007 12:10:47 PM | I never make a date with someone from online, unless we really click online first. That's a huge waste of time, and if you are "dating just to date", you aren't really connecting.
I'm not saying that you should make a date with a person that you aren't interested in. Certain things such as smoking can be dealbreakers for some people. Yet sometimes you can click with a person who is somewhat different than your ideal type. | |
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/29/2007 6:02:55 PM | I'm not saying that you should make a date with a person that you aren't interested in. Certain things such as smoking can be dealbreakers for some people. Yet sometimes you can click with a person who is somewhat different than your ideal type.
It's a matter of "supply and demand". Sometimes, when one isn't connecting with one's "ideal", he/she adjusts to reality, and looks beyond his/her "wish list", and may well find someone interesting and attractive. Still, for me, it's never, ever a matter of a "few dates" to find out. I have always known on a first date, and I believe that's generally been mutual, whether it's "yay" or "nay".
In any case, I think you're right that one must be flexible beyond the "absolutes". For me, it wouldn't be fair to someone, who is outside my weight filter, or who doesn't believe in God. I've tried, and those two things are so absolute, that I would prefer to never date again, than to "try".
This is why it's the stupid guys that take someone out for dinner when they don't even know them !
Always do the meet and talk thing first
I couldn't disagree more. It's like a coach saying "always take the first pitch", and as a coach, I told my hitters in critical situations, that the first pitch is most likely to be the best one to hit.
I have formed long term relationships from online. Everytime it's happened (4), it has been with someone, where we were so "into" each other on our first meeting, that we slept together. So, while I approach a first date without "expectation", I make sure that it's a dating format that leaves open all the possibilities, like dinner at a place like Applebee's. | |
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/29/2007 6:41:03 PM | | Hmmmm... that is EXACTLY what is wrong with this world. Well, a significant part of it. More often than not, people are content with being a commodity or thought of as being a commodity or 'a piece of wares.' Market value? Nah... even if there is accuracy to that, no thanks. | |
|
| Internet dating: ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS!
Posted: 12/29/2007 6:43:16 PM | Reading thru Heartogold50f's message here made me nod my head in total agreement. You spend 30-45 minutes writing an email of introducing yourself and asking a few open ended questions to draw out some conversation and get back a 1 liner... I cancelled off this site a year ago totally disillusioned with the older set in the dating world. I've teased some friends and co-workers about feeling sorry anybody they knew who was single and looking at out middle ages. It's been bloody awful. The majority of the fellas I've made contact with are looking for a 25 year old hottie I'm guessing. I'm average in appearance and don't try to fool anybody into thinking otherwise. I was having such a hard time in finding out how much physical appearance still does matter so much....You'd think we' have all learned how much more important the whole person is and how nice and thoughtful and considerate and respectful we all are to one another...but if people behaved this way in the first place, they'd not be on these dating sites divorced...they'd probably still be married !!! I'm realizing how I was married to a real '10'. I knew he was a good guy and thank goodness we had a wonderful 21 years together before God called him back home.
One other question...why do guys put pictures of their dogs and motorcycles on their postings ? Is that supposed to show us some insight into their personalities ? It just shows me how immature or materialistic they are as far as "looky here what I got...I's got me a Harley-Davidson...I'm one bad-a**).... | |
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys...good for women?
Posted: 12/29/2007 6:57:21 PM |
You'd think we' have all learned how much more important the whole person is and how nice and thoughtful and considerate and respectful we all are to one another
Dating is getting to know the "whole person", so how does one decide which person to get to know the "whole" person of? Why would I choose to get to know the "whole person" of someone unattractive, or who someone doesn't have a picture, which means, 95% of the time, that she's unattractive? Why would I "get to know the whole person" of someone who says things in her profile that tell me she's negative, or that we're incompatible.
So, it's not "shallow" to choose to "get to know the whole person" of someone I find attractive, and who is interested in me, as opposed to someone who is unattractive to me, and has a bad attitude to start with. | |
|
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 12/29/2007 7:17:08 PM | I have written e-mail to some guys here in POF and I didnt get any response, instead he deleted it, but hey!!! there's a lot of fish in the ocean, that didnt bother me. He has the right to do what he wants when they recieved e-mails. Dont give up hope, your time will come. lucilou     | |
|
| |
|
| Page 41 of 94
|
27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67 |
|
Home
login 
