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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 1/5/2008 9:29:33 PM | I haven't read all forty-odd pages of this thread and I am not addressing anything but my own experiences.I have met someone very special here.I have also met freaks and liars and sweethearts.I have been on several dates and had some fun.But I am not gonna whine about the ones that did not respond to my e-mail.It's no different from smiling at a girl at the grocery and she says hello or looks away.Some will, some won't.
But I have been blessed with some wonderful correspondances and after working very hard to understand someone with a very different world view,(far south of here)
I have enjoyed a beautiful new friendship that may become so much more.When I first approached her I thought she was way outta my league but I was intrigued by her and
her remarkable profile.We e-mailed for months before she finally decided to call me !She sent me beautiful Christmas presents and we will finally get to meet right around Valentines day.We are very excited about each other.
 I wont be jumping in to anything immediately but I feel very good about my chances at a successful loving relationship.She received hundreds of e-mails along with mine and I am very happy that mine rang true for her.She said I was very different
from the start and that set me apart.I was honest about myself and what I wanted.She
is quite a CATCH. My advice: " To Thine Own Self Be True"  MaxKix | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 1/5/2008 9:55:01 PM | Well I would agree with you but it is also pretty damn disheartening for women also. When you are a woman 0ver 50 you have to contend with the 'boys' who are looking for the fantasy about a 'Mrs Robinson' no thankyou not for this lady, then of course we have the married men who are not happy in their relationship but do not have the balls to walk away from it.... hello, build a bridge and get over it. Then of course we have the players, oh and what a charming bunch of morons they are, they sweet talk you into all sorts of things then like a puff of smoke they vanish. We also have the men looking for their 'soul mate' hey heres some news for you guys, she only exists in your own mind. Next on the agenda is the I want another relationship but I cannot get past my previous wife who ran off with her girl friend or hubby's best mate, oh and lets not forget the wife who passed away (my heart goes out to some of these guys) but they are looking for a woman who is exactly the same as their wife, and here is another news flash - she also does not exist.
As for the ladies who do not have the manners or the breeding to be polite enough to answer your emails even if it is with a 'no thankyou', well babe you are better of not getting involved with them, they are definately beneath your standard anyway. Common decency is a thing of the past unfortunately!
So hun I would love for you to hear and see some of the things I am exposed to - for instance have you heard of the Dog Sh#t Theory? No, well here is what a man told me just before I blocked him. Women are like dog sh#t, the older they get the easier they are to pickup! Well I told him that with that attitude all he will pick up is sticky stuff that he will never be able to get rid of the smell, such class (I think not).
So remember you are not on your own in this! | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 1/5/2008 10:59:37 PM | Gah, I'm not doing 44 pages. But I will say this:
How is it good for women? I used to have a profile on here. MOST of the guys who contacted me turned out to want one thing. Then, you get the guys who think that if they say, "Oh, you're so hot, you're so pretty," blah blah, that you will fall all over them, because omg, you've never had anyone compliment you!(or so they think)
Then, there are the liars. "I'm 5'11, 170 lbs, fit, muscular." Except that the ones I met....weren't. Most barely cleared my height (5'6), and were scrawny. You meet up with them, and you quickly discover exactly why they've been on a dating site for the past 3 years with no luck. It has nothing to do with their looks, either. It's their "personality"-cause it's crappy.
I'm so glad I'm out of the dating scene. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 1/6/2008 4:42:26 AM |
Gah, I'm not doing 44 pages. But I will say this:
How is it good for women? I used to have a profile on here. MOST of the guys who contacted me turned out to want one thing. Then, you get the guys who think that if they say, "Oh, you're so hot, you're so pretty," blah blah, that you will fall all over them, because omg, you've never had anyone compliment you!(or so they think)
Then, there are the liars. "I'm 5'11, 170 lbs, fit, muscular." Except that the ones I met....weren't. Most barely cleared my height (5'6), and were scrawny. You meet up with them, and you quickly discover exactly why they've been on a dating site for the past 3 years with no luck. It has nothing to do with their looks, either. It's their "personality"-cause it's crappy.
I'm so glad I'm out of the dating scene.
I take it you're a newlywed? I get a kick out how married people come to a dating site and boasting how great their marriage is.
I've seen women like you (even the attractive ones) on this site for 3 years as well. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 1/6/2008 5:31:01 AM |
I used to have a profile on here. MOST of the guys who contacted me turned out to want one thing.
ALL guys want "one thing". A guy wanting that "one thing" does NOT mean that he's a "playah".
Anyway, I contest that. If all, or MOST, guys wanted just "one thing", there'd be far fewer of us looking for DATES, and just saving our money and time, and going to visit prostitutes. Then we'd get our "one thing" without having to become emotionally invested.
Then, you get the guys who think that if they say, "Oh, you're so hot, you're so pretty," blah blah, that you will fall all over them, because omg, you've never had anyone compliment you!(or so they think)
Ever think that maybe they compliment you because they MEAN it? Not ALL compliments have ulterior motives, ya know.
Then, there are the liars. "I'm 5'11, 170 lbs, fit, muscular." Except that the ones I met....weren't. Most barely cleared my height (5'6), and were scrawny.
Got no answer for this. Yep, it happens. Liars abound. Short of developing ESP, there's really not any reliable way of determining beforehand if someone's a liar.
Arlo | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 1/6/2008 5:58:28 AM | But it's amazing just how defensive some guys get when you make a little post, as if you're speaking directly to them through your post. Almost as if the behavior you described has hit a little...close to home?  | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 1/6/2008 6:07:57 AM |
But it's amazing just how defensive some guys get when you make a little post, as if you're speaking directly to them through your post. Almost as if the behavior you described has hit a little...close to home?
Yeah, I tend to get my hackles up when someone implies that I'm devious and sneaky. I'm funny like that...
Arlo | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 1/6/2008 6:14:33 AM |
MOST of the guys who contacted me turned out to want one thing
*yawn* I am tired of hearing this lameass myth. The problem is that most women see most men as guilty until proven innocent. A guy just has to mention sex without meaning to be sexual towards the woman or if he says some thing related to some thing sexual, he will be under the suspicion of only wanting sex from her. A guy just has to simply show interest for sex and he will be accussed of ONLY wanting that and nothing else. No questions asked
Women don't realise how hard they make it for men when we always have to prove our selves that we are not all the bad things that women suspect us to be. And yet, if a man thinks most or all women are guilty until proven innocent one way or the other, we are misogynist or some one who is not thinking normal.
Not just internet dating sucks for men, dating in the real world is no better. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 1/6/2008 6:36:45 AM |
Not just internet dating sucks for men, dating in the real world is no better. I agree, it's because women and some men are living in a fantasy world created by the internet. No matter how good this one seems there must be even a better one if I keep looking. This mostly applies to women. Just look at the number of men who put them in their favorites....and they still can't find the perfect man after being on every dating site for years. DOES THAT TELL YOU ANYTHING!!! | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 1/6/2008 6:37:17 AM | *yawn* I am tired of hearing this lameass myth. The problem is that most women see most men as guilty until proven innocent.
-I'm going by personal experience. I never accused any guy of being a pig until he either suggested jumping my ass or would only talk about sex.
To Arlo:
Did I once mention YOUR name? You're the one who jumped when I made a simple observation. I don't know you, therefore I was not talking about you. I was talking about my experiences. It was you who chose to take it personally. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 1/6/2008 6:40:42 AM | There is no doubt that most or just about every man has learnt in life that women get offended when you approach them for sex in the ways that you mentioned (unless a woman is in a sex site or she is expressing that she is seeking it) To tell me that most men do this is saying that most of the male population are stupid. I don't think most of the male or female population are stupid. Especially not stupid enough to approach sex in the ways that you mentioned when it’s very obvious and well known that the gender you are approaching will get offended by it.
When women say things like "most men who approach them only want sex" can either mean
1 They are paranoid and imagining it
2 they are just angry at men in general and making exaggerations to make men look worse than they really are. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 1/6/2008 6:46:29 AM | I've imagined a lot of things in my life, but having every guy I talked to on a dating site either try to show my their wang on webcam, or meet up at a nearby motel, is not imagining or being paranoid.
And I'm not angry at men in general. I have many male friends, and I'm married to one (oh wait-was that boasting?)
And yes, most of the population= stupid. They take the internet to new heights in what they can try to get away with. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 1/6/2008 6:54:27 AM | Nope
You are either paranoid and have trust issues with men or you are angry with men and like to exaggerate and make up BS to make men look worse. Any woman who has your views is either one of them 2. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 1/6/2008 7:17:44 AM | When you look at it, the VAST MAJORITY of people on dating sites ARE infact men. My experience on here hasnt been too bad, ive met some really really nice girls that are decent, fun and intelligent but in saying that i have had the misfortune to meet some of the most nasty rotten hearted sick women around on here too. The amount of mails i have sent out that has been unread/deleted or not answered is frightening. Of course, i do understand that 'some women get 100+ mails per day and cant possibly read them all'....blah blah blah i say. If you seem to have the time to sit on POF half the day, i would think that you do indeed have the time to send a reply saying 'thanks but no thanks', its a thing called manners. The vast majority of women seem to be ignorant due to the fact that you send a mail and get unread/deleted. How would they feel if they plucked up the courage to send a mail to a guy they really like the sound of only to be ignored. I think they would feel kinda cr.ap, like us guys feel........
What i tend to do is READ THE WOMANS PROFILE first, then look to see how many 'favourites' she is on. If she is on more that 30 i dont bother mailing her as she will have plenty guys slabbering and mailing her to notice a true decent guys mail in there.
It is true that women look at the picture then say 'no, im not attracted to this guy so i dont want anything to do with him'. Fair enough i say, thats your loss! You all say you want a 'decent guy' then when one comes along, you reject him because he isnt tall enough, doesnt dress in designer clothes(those guys are idiots anyway hahah) doesnt have the salary range that you would like, doesnt drive a sports/performance car, doesnt have the looks, doesnt have an orange perma-tan(oompa-loompas, all they need is the green hair lol), has a slighty squint tooth, has one hair out of place in his pic.....when ya look at it....those are pretty damn sad excuses NOT to get to know someone, then again...its all down to personal choice isnt it? Thing is.....those kinda guys KNOW they can pretty much have any girl and WILL cheat and have several girls on the go thus resulting in the unlucky girl who trusted him thinking 'if only i had went for the guy that showed respect and was nice to me for no other reason than he wanted to be nice to me'. Ahhhhhhh the good old 'i wish....what if....if only.......' Ladies please try and learn that because the guy scrubs up well it doesnt mean he is the right one.
To any of the women that i have met on here or have had the decency to mail me back....thank you very much for putting a smile on my face, its just a pity that the vast majority of them seem to think they are something better than most when, infact, you are the same as us all.....try not to forget that.
Ive been lucky enough to start chatting to a really really nice lady one here. She is very pretty, she has the same interests as me and the same sense of humour as me. She is 6 foot 1" tall which i find really cool in a woman, so if your reading this lady...you know who you are hehheheh.
Damn, never realised how long this is...seems like a rant doesnt it...well its not. if it was a rant i would end on a bad note and i aint gunna do that.
Take care everyone and i hope you all catch the one that you want.
Guitarmaker  | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 1/6/2008 7:28:21 AM | You are either paranoid and have trust issues with men or you are angry with men and like to exaggerate and make up BS to make men look worse. Any woman who has your views is either one of them 2.
-Ok then. Thanks for the "analysis". | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 1/6/2008 7:29:00 AM |
I know a few women who will go out with a guy get him to pay for dinner and move on to the next guy, they have no intentioon of getting serious and just are on here to get free meals
Oh now this an easily solved problem! Just don't meet for dinner, strictly coffee. short and sweet and in a very public place. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 1/6/2008 7:33:39 AM | Guitarmaker:
-Finally, someone with intelligence. I remember back when I used this site to meet people, I always answered the ones who were polite. To not do so is ignorant.
SOME females have their noses stuck up in the air, and think they're too good for a lot of guys. Not ALL. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 1/6/2008 7:41:38 AM | | actually , it is just the same for women, i have sent messages and had no replies, had some wierd messages and wierd im's, i am nop really convinced that this thing works, as u i get far more attention wen am out, but then dont really want to keep meeting people in bars after too many? WOTS THE ANSWER? | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 1/6/2008 10:24:10 AM | THANK YOU, BEN!!!!!
When I first posted my first online profile, I was immediately overwhelmed by either the generic, site-offered emails or the incomplete sentences that made some reference to my appearance. I made an effort at first to respond to each and every one of these man, thinking that was the polite thing to do, since they had (I hoped) taken the time to look at my profile and make an attempt to connect with me. When, for various reasons, I didn't feel we would be a good match, I responded with something like "Thanks for your email. Good luck finding the perfect woman for you!". I got so many nasty emails in response to my "Thanks, but no thanks" responses that I decided to save myself the headache, and just not respond to the generic ones, which took NO effort on the part of the sender. If someone took the time to write something more involved, and it was clear that they HAD read my profile, I still always sent a personal note in response. (And not just the "Thanks, but no thanks.")
When I posted my POF profile, I had much the same experience. I felt like it was feeding time at the shark tank, and I was the catch of the day. I attribute that not to my desirability, for I am certainly not the right woman for every man, but more to the fact that a new face will attract attention momentarily. I have encountered the same thing here....hostile responses if I indicate no interest. This would make anyone (male OR female) hesitant to respond to someone that they are not interested in.
I know it is unfair to judge every person that sends me an email by the hostile responses I've gotten from others, so I am trying to respond in some way to every email that I get. I think this is just how it is online......a few bad apples spoil the barrel.......
Jill
p.s. Wish you weren't in England! ;) | |
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