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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 1/7/2008 5:33:02 AM |
Finally, someone with intelligence. I remember back when I used this site to meet people, I always answered the ones who were polite.
Unfortunately, even the polite men don't get answered. | |
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| Internet dating: ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS!
Posted: 1/7/2008 6:23:35 AM | | I actually am attracted to men that ride - and I have known plenty of them that some are bad asses in person and some just like to ride. But as for women having it easy out here - oh cmon give me a break. I sent out maybe 50 replies out here in a week to men in the area and not ONE reply back ??? I am a normal middle aged woman and I have had men tell me everything from I am too fat or too ugly or one guy actually said he didnt like the looks of my EYES ! Jeez. I give up - I am pretty much resigned to being alone for the rest of my life and thats fine - really. It is better to be alone than to keep trying this garbage and get shot down or ignored all the time. Do men (or women for that matter) - really think that the hard bodied sized 2 will sustain them into being 90 years old and sitting in the rocking chair next to that person ? | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 1/7/2008 7:41:00 AM | So, I think this is an interesting topic.
I am a woman and do not get 20 emails a day, if I don't get on here and write a bunch, I get none at all!
I am definitely not what the commercial images promote, and I email plenty of men who do not respond. I would have to agree with the approximation of 2 out of 10 who do respond.
Yes, just like men, I do want to know what someone looks like before I agree to meet them, they know what I look like! If they don't like it, well thats the way it goes.
I can tell a lot about someone's personality through email conversation, and I prefer to have a little bit of conversation before I agree to meet someone. Someone with an attitude such as the initiator of this Post, I don't think I would talk to for very long.
I think a lot of the men who have responded have given great advice.
I would very much like to see where the figures showing that there are so many more men than women come from.
Good luck to all, it is hard to find someone "just right". | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 1/7/2008 8:36:59 PM | | Internet dating should be an alternate way to meet people, not the only way to date. Do not place all your confidence and trust on the Internet. There are dozens of other means to meet your women(or men). Do not get frustrated if you are rejected on here. It is just the Internet, not your real life. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 1/11/2008 6:55:18 PM | I used to have this posted in my profile. Almost 80% of them come from actual dates on this site and one other site. You have to have a sense of humor!
What I have learned about internet dating in 30 days!
1)45% of all female profiles are written like they are IMing someone, putting an ad in the Sunday paper, or have at least one of the "stupid" facial signs that you make with your keyboard. A sentence gets ONE period at the end (period) and they start with capitol letters!!!!!!
2) 30% of women's profiles have "shopping" listed as a hobby or an interest. Men consider taking out the trash more gratifying than going shopping. And you wonder why we don't get each other?
3) A woman will message a man whose profile contains numerous photos of him with guitars and motorcycles. She will actually go to dinner with him and state that motorcycles are dangerous and she prefers Hindu flute music.
4) Almost 50% of you should never drink while on your first date. If you do, please have directions to your house in your purse or have one of your children stand outside in an international orange vest (like the highway workers wear) so your date can drop you off at the right house.
5) Roughly 13% of the female gender considers "dating" a sport and believes God, the guy at "Dailing for Dollars", or Bob Barker will give her some extra cash for having a "full dance card".
6) "Average" in body takes on a whole new meaning and can be referenced up to and including a small compact car. Women's clothes sizes make no sense to men. A size "7" is not the same at 5 ft 3 inches as it is at 5 ft 9 inches. I think men should be able to apply "irrelevant and ambiguous" sizes to parts of our anatomy also to make it fair. Oh yeah, some of us already do that!
7) If you think he looks like Johnny Depp and he swears to you that he doesn't look like Johnny Depp, take that to be the gospel.
8) Never give a man your phone number and not expect him to use it. It's the "cave man" theory. How do you think we invited fire? We tried it out!
9) A woman that isn't interested in you will NEVER sleep with you. A woman that is interested in you, won't sleep with you YET? I couldn't find YET in the encyclopedia as a reference to an actual time!
10) I thought I was a little off kilter at times until I tried internet dating. I can see now that I am way closer to "NORMAL" than I thought.
11) Never message someone that has obviously “cut” someone out of the picture. That’s what they got in the last divorce, break up, or palimony suit.
12) You will hear from someone for several continuous days and then suddenly "POOF" they are long gone. This is known as the "Dating, Let's make a Deal" syndrome. You remember that show with Monte Hall? You were traded for the person behind door #3 or in the big box with the red bow on it.
13)Any photo will do, so long as it was taken since you went through puberty.
14) Over 20% of the females on here don't post a photo. What are you thinking? And NO, I don't believe that ALL of you are famous and someone might recognize you!
15) "Wine tasting" as an interest? I'll bet that guy in the raincoat over on Van Buren started that way! Must be something those Scottsdale or more affluent folks do (crap, I misspelled affluent the first time, I hate it when I do that)? Now, if I listed "whiskey tasting" as an interest, you'd think I was a drunk. Sorry I don't get the wine tasting. It rates right up there with "sushi" as an interest. BTW I have a question for the "wine tasters". If I spill a "dry" wine in my lap, do I get "wet"?
16) Never agree to go to a country and western bar if it's not your choice in music. First of all you have to have a "giddy up" (I guess that means outfit). Then you put your thumbs in your belt loops and do the adult version of the "Hokey Pokey". They call it line dancing but it's really the Hokey Pokey!
17) You know your in trouble when their "Glamore Shot" doesn't look good.
18) I've never gotten a message from someone looking for sex or an intimate encounter. Huh, I'll have to think about that one. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 1/11/2008 7:37:41 PM | This is exactly why internet dating doesn't work for most men. It didn't work for me and I found an absolutely gorgeous girl in personality, looks, and character offline. There is an extremely small percentage of women who're worth befriending because they are indeed sweet, non judgmental and understand men but that's about it. Guys, you're much better off getting rejected in person than in some make believe world. At least you found out right off the bat rather than talking to someone for a few weeks and then losing all contact forever.
All of the guys deemed unworthy by the following girl were just pawns, stepping stones until she could one up the last one. Think she'll be satisfied with Mr. 005?
I know miltiantfelo is lurking around somewhere but having lost the argument, he probably doesn't care. With my experience having what it's been, I won't touch a girl who's ever looked for men online with a 10 foot pole. The sense of entitlement, selfishness, double-standards, and absolute contempt and disdain for another human being is unworldly or too worldly.
"I'm an average-looking girl in my early twenties; basically, another pretty-faced fat girl. After breaking up with a long-term boyfriend, I decided to try Match. My girlfriends warned me that it was a waste of money - is it because they have a sense of self worth that's beyond inflated and bursting at the seams?, but I figured I'd try it anyway.
Prior to Match, I'd been on some other dating sites, met a lot of guys, but didn't really like any of them. Many were just looking for fun or friends without benefits even, believe it or not.
Anyway. I've been on Match since November and met five guys, all of whom matched my base criteron (were in their twenties and lived close by).
The five guys I met on Match were of MUCH higher quality than on any other dating site I'd tried. Much.
One was an extremely good looking chess player who lived in a neighboring town, was a year older than me, and knew many of the same people I knew in real life. We'd even worked at the same mall in high school. We saw each other once a week, but I just didn't feel any sparks, and I ultimately stopped calling him after he told me he was moving three hours away.
One was a political pundit who was also a year older than me and lived in a neighboring town. Also good looking, and we had a lot in common. For reasons I can't explain, we only went on one date (it was a great first date) and conversation fizzled. I don't know if he didn't feel any sparks, but it sure seemed like he did on the one date we went on.
The third wasn't good looking at all, but was kind. He was short and overweight, lived in another county, and worked at a movie theater I was familiar with. He wasn't very intelligent, but was into big and expensive dates, and I allowed myself to have a good time. I hoped I would feel something for him, but never did, and ultimately stopped calling him.
The fourth was outstanding. Good-looking in a quirky way with longish hair, lived ten minutes from my house, was smart and interesting and fun. He would definitely be someone I'd maybe call The One one day, but I met another guy from Match that blew him out of the water.
The last guy I met, I have seen every day for two weeks and lives ten minutes from my house. We have tons of stuff in common and I really like him. He's a gem; always wants to know what I want to do, never pushes me to go too fast in the sex department, is funny and smart and appreciates things like my obsession with disco and board games. He makes me happy and is a great guy for me to be dating, especially since I'm pretty fragile right now, after having gotten out of a long and intense relationship in June. He calls when he says he will, never flakes out, is never boring, and even likes my family (and I like his).
My odds were iffy. Age was on my side (as I'm young), but I'm also fairly overweight, and I also don't have a driver's license yet - but that theatre loser was too damn poor. On average, I received about two new winks/messages a week (which makes me suspicious of stories of women receiving hundreds a day). I think an average amount for a woman to receive would be maybe five or six a week; at any rate, I don't know any girl in person who's received more than that.
Bottom line: if I can do it, so can anyone else - there are a lot of women online who aren't swindlers but surprise me for once. It's not a numbers game, and it only takes ONE person to change your life - NO SH.T ASK THE OTHER 4 GUYS. And there are a lot of awesome people on Match; seems like people on Match are of a pretty good quality, especially compared to other sites. " | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 1/11/2008 10:41:16 PM | yeah its so great being a woman on a dating site.. knowing that the guy messaging u probably just messaged 239 others at the same time with a copy paste message.. guys play the numbers game.. and in some ways come across desperate.. women if they message a guy probably dont do it that often so actually MEANS something..
most men who are on here.. get a little heady with the candy in the candy store and well.. u know what happens with a sugar rush.. no actual brain action comes into play.. woot woot.. the little boy runs around screaming.. omg LOOK AT THE CANDY..not even really stopping to absorb the flavour, texture and feel and after effect.. coz too busy greedily shoving the next bit of candy in their mouth..
we women feel soo special..
its not easy for either sex.. honestly.. but at some point.. ull connect with the right person.. and thats what matters isn't it? or are u the little boy in the candy store sitting on the ground sulking coz he only has enough money for one peice of candy... | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 1/12/2008 1:29:49 PM | [And to repeat, some women who have grown up, gotten past high school mode know what's truly important about a man..It's not his looks, possessions, car, home or what he can buy us...It's what lies in his heart, his caring and compassion for others, the way he treats his family and kids, his personality, if he can still laugh and smile ..Might be hard for some men to understand this, but some women actually get what's important and we want an adult man in our lives/quote]
well that certainly sounds good . . . even looks good on paper . . . . and OH how I would like to believe it. But . . . . WHERE ARE all these women ? ? and how will ANY OF YOU/THEM KNOW whether or not you're dealing with a "quality guy" . . . . if you never give any of us good men a chance?
I am truly sorry that you've all encountered so many bad apples. Let's just say . . . . . . perhaps I stumble across the profile of a woman who truly intruiges me, and I would like to know more about her . . . . It's not MY fault that last summer, some guy who might look a lot like me totally screwed this girl over. I had nothing to do with it. But I certainly have to pay the price.
I do my best not to judge people . . . . it's simply not my place. Sure, physical attraction needs to play a part, but can, or should it, be the entire deciding factor? Men have accepted the fact that only a very small percentage of us will actually catch and keep one of those "smokin' hot chics" . . . . Yes, we would like to have a very attractive life partner, but I personally would much rather have a "plain jane" who knows how to treat a guy and doesn't expect extravagent gifts, exotic vacations, and impossible standards.
I remember a time . . . . WAY before that politician invented the internet . . . . when you met a girl, you liked her . . . . she gave you her number . . . . you called her, and she went out on a date with you. And another date . . . . and another. The 2 of you then became "an item" . . . . perhaps you even co-habitated. You might even acquire a little paper document that deems you legally and financially responsible for one another.
I also recall an age when women really appreciated an honest, hard working man that treated them good. Who would never even CONSIDER humiliating them in public. Who would never cheat on them, speak to them in a condescending manner, give them any reason to question their integrity or morals or values. I remember a time when being a realman actually got you somewhere. A hand shake and a square look in the eye was all that was necessary to seal a deal.
To quote David Lee Roth . . . . "where have all the good times gone"? | |
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| LOOKS ARE A PLUS ...NOT A MUST
Posted: 1/19/2008 9:04:09 PM | it is not always just by looks of a photo...(though a photo says a thousand words)... it is how you approach the person in a message... i know i read many emails and if the subject line is the usual : hi, hello, whats up.....etc i usually dont read them unless i know that person already.... but if you allow something different in the subject(like an attention getter) they tend to read your message and reply.... i write a lot of poetry and the way i get someone to read it is a title...hence the subject line...so dont leave it blank make it known......you will get more replies and well it shows you are more human and well....i dont care for the looks as much as i do a personality so never say what you look for in a person for looks but say what kinds of activities YOU enjoy and what makes you not a jerk in eyes
PICTURES WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS BUT CAN YOU SHOW A PICTURE THROUGH WORDS???
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weston | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 1/20/2008 8:57:14 AM | | Don't listen to that guy..it is true when a guy approaches you all about sex it is so annoying so I hear ya girl. I feel on this site that the guys seem really lazy probably the girls too. On every site probably. They either like to stay home all the time or are kinda lazy. So it is hard to meet the guy or girl you want on a dating site, unless you r this, nothing wrong with being a homeboody of course. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 1/20/2008 9:13:52 AM | I've heard it's harder for men here, but also hear of women striking out.
I've never had a bad experience. Every man I've met has been what I expected, and even more personable and attractive than they were online.
I think it's the area, and whether or not you have a photo. When I didn't have a photo, I only got a couple of emails a day.
When I posted one, the responses increased exponentially. I have over 130 unread mail messages. I can't answer them, because I can't pull myself away from the forums. | |
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| She's Less than Average in Looks and has 5 kids...
Posted: 1/24/2008 11:51:37 AM | and she's online messaging the... "HOT BOYS"... because the internet affords every woman the oppurtunity to be engaged, in a private and discreet manner, in an escapade that noone will ever know about... as long as he's willing.
More than 90 % of Men that frequent Online dating Sites are predatory in behaviour. In otherwords... won't turn down an oppurtunity at... "FREE SEX"... if it can be kept a secret. We've all seen the... "To Catch a Predator" series run on NBC's NightLine with Chris Hansen.
Every woman, no matter what she looks like can meet a man online and because of this... the most average of women feel confident enough to Message Good Looking Guys that are way out of their league. Good Looking women never have a problem OnLine or In the REAL WORD.
The Average guy doesn't generally hit up only the... "HOT CHICKS(Females in Bikinis or Shorts)"... because we know that we will Strike Out.
The women that are being ignored or trying to make contact with only guys that are way out of their league. There are no Single GoodLooking Men, with Jobs and their own Homes or apartments and Nice Cars, Looking for Average Divorced Women with 3 or 4 children.
It's just not happening...
So it goes without saying that the InterNet experience is far better for Women that it is for Men.
GoodLooking Guys and Ugly Guys all get ignored by the same kinds of females...
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| Now... what I want to know is...
Posted: 1/24/2008 11:56:35 AM | How and Why in the Hell did this forum make 45 Pages?
What's Worse is... the Vast Majority of posters here didn't have profiles with Pics...
What the Hell!!??
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| Internet dating: ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS!
Posted: 1/24/2008 6:21:59 PM | I have found it hard to find a guy who wants a meaningful relationship.
They seem to just want to have sex and that's not what I am looking for. If I don't find Mr. Right here it would be nice but I know that you have to be friends first before you can have a real relationship with any true meaning. Good Luck everyone on your  | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women HA!
Posted: 1/25/2008 7:42:43 AM | The emails from guys who get pissed about no a response from "Hi, hot pic, lets hang out!" is almost as annoying as the pervs, in my opinion. HELLO? Did he read ANYTHING on my profile?
Who I do respond to: "Hi! I saw you like to bike. Mountain or road?" Or "Blues jam at Natty's Sat night- wanna go?"
Boys really need to get a clue... Men, well, they're out there... somewhere...
Good luck in your search, everyone! | |
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| Amber...Amber... AMBER!!!!!!
Posted: 1/25/2008 9:30:02 AM | Every Man Wants SEX!!! They are ALOT of Us that Want a GirlFriend 1st though... infact... I would say the Vast Majority of Men here and on every other site Do.
Read their Profiles... and Look at their Pics. You will get an Idea of what he is about before You even start to Chat with him.
Now... can someOne have the MODERATOR come LOCK this Thread. It's an EyeSore... Really...
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| Amber...Amber... AMBER!!!!!!
Posted: 1/25/2008 9:51:16 AM | ^^^true. Any woman who doesn't realize this is living in a cave somewhere..... personally, I don't think it's such a big deal. If someone contacts me talking about sex first thing, I just don't talk to them. It's not that hard really - there will always be those types out there, just as there will always be freeloaders.
I've also made my profile quite long and this ensures I get more serious emails.
The whole issue is that men and women are DIFFERENT!!! Instead of whining and moaning and asking why some girl has shopping as in interest, let it go! Men have interests that I don't understand, big whoop.
There are some things that both sexes will probably never understand about each other - is that such a big deal?! We can only try our best in the relationship we are in to explain in the best way possible.
We could all take the time to actually "read" what the opposite sex is writing in some of these forums and actually respect it and use it.
As for meeting "hotter" people in person. Well yeah, mostly everyone on here is hotter in person....Most people are NOT photogenic. | |
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| Amber...Amber... AMBER!!!!!!
Posted: 1/25/2008 10:58:14 AM | Ah just take all these Internet dating things with a HUGE bucket of salt. I never really take them seriously anyway, even though I have dated a couple of women via the Internet.
So just have fun and chill. 
At least these forums are interesting aye? | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 1/25/2008 6:28:40 PM | | (rolls her eyes) this is so ridicoulous. to much thinking going on and not enough persuing....all talk no action. I remember being a teenager and it wasnt this hard to meet anyone or to make friends even, now its nothing but a competation. always looking for the next best thing...and to be honest...theyre nothing to look at themselves. sucks for woman too...dont kid yourself. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 1/25/2008 7:16:29 PM | | i agree with this guy.. but i dont feel it is men's job to contact women... these dayz women are doing everything men do.. football, dating other women, going for president... the least they could do is learn how to approach men. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 1/25/2008 7:16:56 PM | | It is true dating sites are not the best way for guys to meet women but in this day and age with busy lives many of us turn to dating sites. I think that most of the pay dating sites are setup to rip you off and have lots of fake profiles. | |
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| Internet dating: ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS!
Posted: 1/25/2008 7:27:04 PM | All I can say is that the probability of running into women who would go out for a meal with someone she's totally not interested in, just for the chance at a free meal has got to be ridiculously low, and not worth worrying about. I mean, just think of how you feel when you are with someone unattractive or someone either irritating or totally uninteresting or all three. Time drags on forever, and the experience is just not pleasant. I can't imagine it being worth it to spend your time with someone, just for the free meal. This is even worse feeling if it's someone unattractive who is attracted to you. Bleah. So if you're not willing to pay for dinner dates, just suck it up and admit you're a Scrooge-hearted cheapskate.
Back on the original topic, internet dating is hard for women too, just in different ways. There might not be quite as much rejection, but there are other things that guys don't have to deal with gross guys that are
- rude
- insulting
- belligerent
- make sexually offensive comments
- make racist comments
And this can happen in the very first email! Like they sit at home scanning the site to see who they can insult.
We also have to deal with guys that lure us in making us believe they have real emotions for us and want to have a relationship with us, but really just want to have sex and take off. (this might happen with women, but women are far less likely to lead a guy on just to use them for sex and treat them like shit).
Now don't get worried that I'm all jaded and bitter. I'm still on the site. I continue to meet nice people. But don't tell me that it's so bad for men and so good for women. It's just different. There are just a different set of obstacles in the way to look out for. | |
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