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| Internet dating: ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS!
Posted: 1/25/2008 7:47:48 PM | I would have to say that nowadays, it is far more difficult for a man than it is for a woman. The reason? The men that came before us, their actions have spoken volumes on this site. The dweebs and perv's who flooded women's inboxes, sent pictures of their body-parts before ever saying hello. I've read plenty of ladies' profiles on here that detail the adolescent behavior of the male majority...
so in the end; we men, have no-one but ourselves to blame.
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 1/28/2008 11:58:39 AM | Just playing around on the site and came across "the things you learned"... funny (period end of sentence).
Hey what does it say when a woman gets lots of messages from guys using smily faces to accentuate their feelings???
Dj | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 1/30/2008 12:10:47 AM |
I would have to say that nowadays, it is far more difficult for a man than it is for a woman. The reason? The men that came before us, their actions have spoken volumes on this site. The dweebs and perv's who flooded women's inboxes, sent pictures of their body-parts before ever saying hello. I've read plenty of ladies' profiles on here that detail the adolescent behavior of the male majority...
Yeah, I would have to concur here. The droves of emotionally immature and inept men out there, do let the side down BADLY, making it even more difficult for normal and genuine guys to establish contact with women.
Some of the stories I have read, about men showing off their "wares" inappropriately, really pisses me off big time! And that's just one example! However, as some posts have already said, women have a hard time too. So let's not reduce this into a "which sex has it harder" argument.
Remember, women have to put up with the a$$hole men amongst us and have great difficulty in determining players from the genuine article. So there are problems on BOTH sides and one side should not take precedence over the other.
We unfortunately live in a World that's losing its head and sure, even though it can be frustrating, I can fully appreciate women taking minimal risks in looking for their potential mates. The reasonable men amongst us are just going to have to be both patient and understanding. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 1/30/2008 4:53:50 AM |
would have to say that nowadays, it is far more difficult for a man than it is for a woman. The reason? The men that came before us, their actions have spoken volumes on this site. The dweebs and perv's who flooded women's inboxes, sent pictures of their body-parts before ever saying hello. I've read plenty of ladies' profiles on here that detail the adolescent behavior of the male majority...
One of the reasons I, for the most part, have given up on POF, and the internet as a whole for the most part, as far as dating. Too many people living in an "unreal world", where things that would get them slapped in the face or arrested in real life, thinking its appropriate online - and the rest of us paying the price of the underlying result of excessive caution and unrealistic expectations.
Quite honestly, while probably having less of a "selection" (in terms of sheer numbers) in real life, I think there's a lot less "BS" in real life - the "dweebs and pervs" just wouldn't get away with it in real life. I don't think either side has it "easier" online. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 1/30/2008 5:14:16 AM | Are you implying that a white guy is a better "catch" just because of the fact that he is white?
"Even for a good looking, educated white guy like me, internet dating is a very humbling experience."
Maybe I misunderstood your point.
Anyway, you're not right about women (at least not all of them) just sitting and getting dozens and dozens of emails and not replying. I actually make the first move a lot of the time. I don't get as many emails as you might think women get and I think I might be fairly attractive.
For your information, we get rejected too. It's happened to me more times than I can remember.
It's annoying when that happens, I know, but I just have to move on and not worry about it too much. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 1/30/2008 7:49:02 AM | It's amazing that this thread didn't get deleted. The OP was throwing a pity party--the usual "I'm a great guy, but can't understand why women don't like me". 
The OP's post is self-evident as to why he doesn't get girls. It looks like he pulled his profile, too, so that's a blessing for the site. No matter what your external trappings are: looks, education, vocational/financial status---you either have confidence or you don't. The "why me" types do not have confidence. It's fun to watch them crash and burn. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 1/30/2008 8:26:32 AM | Are you implying that a white guy is a better "catch" just because of the fact that he is white?
"Even for a good looking, educated white guy like me, internet dating is a very humbling experience."
I don't think he was implying that at all
Would you say the same thing if he was black and said a well educated black man.
I should think not. Get over yourself not everyone is a racist pig.
Anyway back to the subject at hand.
Don't worry about this site it isn't a reflection of who you really are. Most men on this site are married anyways. They pick the free ones cause they know It won't show up on their credit card bills. My best advice to you is look somewhere else. If you want a nice girl go to where you know they are in your neighborhood. otherwise get involved with something(like charity they love that stuff). change you job to a big company with lots of women in it (women love the competition). Join a club with women in it. Or get some talent and join a band. Rock on ya'll. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 1/31/2008 4:59:19 PM | yeah its so great being a woman on a dating site.. knowing that the guy messaging u probably just messaged 239 others at the same time with a copy paste message.. guys play the numbers game.. and in some ways come across desperate.. women if they message a guy probably dont do it that often so actually MEANS something.
Valid observation; you're not the first woman to mention cut-n-paste as an objectionable thing. But, let me play  Advocate, and ask you:
What makes YOU* so special that you deserve a well-thought-out novella from the get-go? An introductory email is just that: an INTRODUCTION, not a full and complete biography. Almost every woman's profile** sounds like every OTHER woman's profile. Once, just ONCE, I'd love to see a woman's profile that said something like, "I kick puppies and kitties, HATE horseback riding, and ONLY PLAYERS NEED APPLY!"
Arlo
* I mean the editorial "you", not "you" specifically.
** Since women's profiles are almost the only ones I ever look at.
EDIT: ALL my introductory emails "mean something": they mean I'm interested and I'd like to strike up a conversation. They DON'T mean, "Ignore me, I love it!" | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 1/31/2008 7:54:19 PM | TipicalCanada,
I would like to inform you that you are not making any sense. Why did you say to me, "get over yourself"? ? That implies that I am full of myself. Where in my post do I say anything about myself?
And, anyway, yes, if the guy was black and worded it that way, I would have asked him the same question.
It doesn't take a rocket scientist to pick up on the subtle racial piety in that original poster's tone. Perhaps he wasn't really aware of it himself.
In any case, I don't know why YOU are all bent out of shape over it. You must be one of those white guys that gets all threatened by the least mention that someone black might get some consideration that you aren't getting or something.
Maybe YOU are the one who needs to get over yourself.
Chillax, dude. :-P | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 1/31/2008 7:55:10 PM | 3 randomly-selected examples from my latest matches, to back up Arlo here.
"I'm an avid animal lover and I like to take care of myself and enjoy life."
Mail Settings (To message n#$%^&* you MUST meet the following criteria.)
Male
Age between 30 and 45
Live in United States
Live within 75 miles.
Must not have messaged users looking for intimate encounters or sex.
You must have a picture to contact this user.
Must not be looking for Hang Out
Must not be looking for Talk/E-mail
Must not be looking for Other Relationship
Must not be looking for Friendship
Must not be looking for Intimate Encounter
Must not be looking for Activity Partner
Must not do drugs
Must not be married
How can anyone get in touch with this person with all those restrictions?
On my off-time I like to hang out with my friends, go running, watch movies, go for hikes, I'm up for almost anything.
Mail Settings (To message Li^%$% you MUST meet the following criteria.)
Age between 23 and 32
Live in United States
Live within 75 miles.
Must not have messaged users looking for intimate encounters or sex.
You must have a picture to contact this user.
Must not be looking for Hang Out
Must not be looking for Talk/E-mail
Must not be looking for Other Relationship
Must not be looking for Friendship
Must not be looking for Intimate Encounter
Must not be looking for Activity Partner
Must not do drugs
Must not be married
Up for anything she said? She doesn't want to ahng out, or talk. Doesn't wan't email communication. Isn't looking for "other relationship" and so on and so forth. (married resrictions are good, BTW)
And here's the last sample from today's matches. This is the BEST profile I've ever read! 
"22 y/o A^%#$#$% : Seeking aMan For Long term"
Do you drink? Socially
Marital Status Single
Profession nurse
Do you want children? Prefer Not To Say
Do you do drugs? Socially
Do you have children?No
Interests Hanging out and having a lot of sex
First Date I would like to go to a nice restaurant get to know you a little, maybe go see a movie and hangout. Then what ever happens from there......
Mail Settings (To message A@#$%% you MUST meet the following criteria.)
Must not be looking for Other Relationship
Must not be looking for Intimate Encounter
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 1/31/2008 8:03:55 PM | ipicalCanada,
I would like to inform you that you are not making any sense. Why did you say to me, "get over yourself"? ? That implies that I am full of myself. Where in my post do I say anything about myself that would give one the idea that I am self centered? I was saying rejection happens to most of us.
And, anyway, yes, if the guy was black and worded it that way, I would have asked him the same question.
It doesn't take a rocket scientist to pick up on the subtle racial piety in that original poster's tone. Perhaps he wasn't really aware of it himself.
In any case, I don't know why YOU are all bent out of shape over it. You must be one of those white guys that gets all threatened by the least mention that someone black might get some consideration that you aren't getting or something.
Maybe YOU are the one who needs to get over yourself.
Chillax, dude. :-P | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 1/31/2008 9:54:57 PM | | Soleil2020, I read a lot of women's profiles on sites like Match and Yahoo that allow people to specify the race of the person they are looking for. Let me tell you, racism is alive and well in the dating world. There is little doubt that being white is an advantage and being asian is a disadvantage. The fact that the OP was aware that he had that advantage does not make him a racist. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 1/31/2008 10:09:04 PM | dear Soleil2020
I'm sorry you feel this way but I guess it was the words you threw out there.
I still say theere is nothing wrong with being prowd of who you are black, white, red, yellow, purple, green or blue. I believe he was really just saying who he is. Hell let me say I'm a lovable happy canadian who is fairly well educated in Gas Turbine Mechanical engineering. Would you hold that fact that I'm prowd of my heritage of being a canadian against me?
Love who you are and and respect everyone else
respect to everyone who posts here | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 2/1/2008 4:23:18 AM |
I don't think all women's profiles sound alike, mine is at least a bit different.
Yeah *snicker* -- everyone's different! So, if EVERYONE is different, it'd be REALLY different if you* were a total conformist!
Arlo
* - again, the editorial "you". | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 2/1/2008 4:30:45 AM | We might all get better responses if we tried this......I met a guy on another site whose headline read, "Seeking silicone game player for daylight asphalt walks".
It's kind of the "anti-headline" and really caught my attention! | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 2/1/2008 4:36:04 AM | 3 randomly-selected examples from my latest matches, to back up Arlo here.
Thanks, bro. 's good to know that SOMEONE understands what I'm saying. But, in good stereotypical Canadian fashion, allow me now to (sorta) undermine my own position:
There's nothing wrong with having preferences. Lord knows, I have TONS of respect for anyone, man or woman, who knows what s/he wants, and says it with a minimum of miscommunication. What I was getting at, though, was that a LOT (by no means all, just many; and the majority of the ones that I HAVE SEEN) of women's profiles sound like they were created on templates, and don't really say anything about THAT INDIVIDUAL WOMAN. A lot of profiles sound like a lot of OTHER profiles. A lot of people get very snotty if you don't read their profiles, and apparently study each and every item in great and excruciating detail. Well, for Heaven's sake, WHY would I BOTHER to invest my time and analytical energy in going over the 100th, or 1000th, "I like to laugh" profile, looking for that little snippet of individuality that snuck in there despite all efforts to eradicate it?
Arlo | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 2/1/2008 9:07:34 AM | I agree wholeheartedly and here are the facts of a quality survey for what women on line are looking for in order 1.good looks 2.earns more than 30.000 per year. 3.owns a house worth 300.000 pounds or more .4.drives a mercedes benz . 5.average build. 6.dark hair blue eyes . 7.has come to bed eyes . so there you have it guys you can stuff your sense of humour all they want is to spend your money and they will do you a
favour by letting you massage their feet and service them .
Dont believe all that sense of humour stuff thats just girlspeak for he wont mind me being a lazy shopaholic lay back and think of n.ireland so called lover .
A friend of mine is married to a filipino girl now living in England she works as well as him but always has he tea ready for him when he comes home insists on giving him a full body massage every day its her tradition.
Shes good looking much younger than he is they have been married eight years and he swears he has never ever caught her looking at another guy that says it all for me im going for an asian bird fed up with golddiggers .My best tip if you want to score on the internet big time tell them you have a big house flash car and a great sense of humour. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 2/1/2008 9:36:40 AM | | It can go "both ways"..it is the "real intention" of the people who are on such sites. It is just that on the "surface" sometimes one does not know at first "what" the other person is really up to. As in all things,...it is also these "minority" of people with "dishonest intentions" that spoils it for the rest of us. Some guys want only to hang out, but they would put it in their ads that they want a relationship. After knowing you for only 2 months, this person asked if he could move in, so he could rent out his place. When I mentioned I was going to visit family and friends back home, he was quick to ask if he can come along, but when he went off to Germany for a week end, he kept very quiet about it. So as mentioned, it goes both ways. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 2/1/2008 9:51:00 AM | ahhhh, it takes time to observe who the "gold diggers" or "parasites" are, but there are ladies who are financially independent...perhaps it takes time to know who they are, believe me, they exist today. I was brought up to understand that the other person's money...came/come about by that person's hard work, and that one should earn one's own "daily bread"...and not "resort" to scheming, dishonesty with ref. to other people's money or trying to get favours from them.
Those people who drive flash cars?! have you not heard "all that glitters is not gold"..many sort to impress, although they don't have the means, so they lend, buy on credit.... | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 2/1/2008 10:34:01 AM | ahhhh, it takes time to observe who the "gold diggers" or "parasites" are, but there are ladies who are financially independent...perhaps it takes time to know who they are, believe me, they exist today.
I agree with just about everything you wrote in your last message and this one; I'd just like to add:
Very few people today are willing, apparently, to invest any time in getting to know someone. Ours is an instant-gratification, plug-n-play society; and the InterNet (among other things) gives people the false impression that more choices means they have a better chance of finding someone who's perfect right out of the box. But, human beings aren't that way. So, while you're clicking "Next", in search of that elusive perfect profile, you just might have passed over that not-perfect but still pretty darn good one. Also, a request for a coffee date is NOT, repeat NOT, a marriage proposal (guess what sort of tug-of-war I'm currently involved in?)
Arlo | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 2/1/2008 4:09:04 PM |
Very few people today are willing, apparently, to invest any time in getting to know someone. Ours is an instant-gratification, plug-n-play society; and the InterNet (among other things) gives people the false impression that more choices means they have a better chance of finding someone who's perfect right out of the box.
I only look at woman's profile so i can NOT tell you about what other man are doing.
Very true about woman ... this does explain why i see many of the same woman on POF for several years. They are the ones that rarely reply to an email and then can NOT understand why they are still single.
But, human beings aren't that way. So, while you're clicking "Next", in search of that elusive perfect profile, you just might have passed over that not-perfect but still pretty darn good one.
Nobody includes EVERYTHING about them self in a profile otherwise it would be so long that Nobody would read it.
Also, a request for a coffee date is NOT, repeat NOT, a marriage proposal (guess what sort of tug-of-war I'm currently involved in?)
Exactly .. you might not click with that person but they could turn out to be a GREAT friend OR could be a great match for a friend or relative.
Most of the people who i know who are successful meet at a plentyoffish event instead of of first contracting each other via email.
One woman i know meet her future husband at a POF event and he was NOT even a member of POF but decided to come to the same club that night.
They are married and very happy and they would never have meet if she did NOT go to the POF event. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 2/1/2008 4:51:46 PM | wot an over opinionated viewpoint...it equally sucks (in your words) for women as well as men...yeah WAKEUP AND SMELL THE COFFEE lol...men only want one thing from dating sites...and my reply to them its a DATING SITE NOT A SEX SITE...ffs....furthermore, guys in my opinion hunt out goodlooking women or women who betray a nice looking photo in their profile...I really cant believe you think that men are the only ppl who find it hard looking for dates it goes both ways...Im still on this site....duh! | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 2/2/2008 5:54:21 AM |
...men only want one thing from dating sites...and my reply to them its a DATING SITE NOT A SEX SITE...
Just a question: why is "sex" a four-letter word with so many women?
Arlo | |
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