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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 2/1/2008 4:09:04 PM |
Very few people today are willing, apparently, to invest any time in getting to know someone. Ours is an instant-gratification, plug-n-play society; and the InterNet (among other things) gives people the false impression that more choices means they have a better chance of finding someone who's perfect right out of the box.
I only look at woman's profile so i can NOT tell you about what other man are doing.
Very true about woman ... this does explain why i see many of the same woman on POF for several years. They are the ones that rarely reply to an email and then can NOT understand why they are still single.
But, human beings aren't that way. So, while you're clicking "Next", in search of that elusive perfect profile, you just might have passed over that not-perfect but still pretty darn good one.
Nobody includes EVERYTHING about them self in a profile otherwise it would be so long that Nobody would read it.
Also, a request for a coffee date is NOT, repeat NOT, a marriage proposal (guess what sort of tug-of-war I'm currently involved in?)
Exactly .. you might not click with that person but they could turn out to be a GREAT friend OR could be a great match for a friend or relative.
Most of the people who i know who are successful meet at a plentyoffish event instead of of first contracting each other via email.
One woman i know meet her future husband at a POF event and he was NOT even a member of POF but decided to come to the same club that night.
They are married and very happy and they would never have meet if she did NOT go to the POF event. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 2/1/2008 4:51:46 PM | wot an over opinionated viewpoint...it equally sucks (in your words) for women as well as men...yeah WAKEUP AND SMELL THE COFFEE lol...men only want one thing from dating sites...and my reply to them its a DATING SITE NOT A SEX SITE...ffs....furthermore, guys in my opinion hunt out goodlooking women or women who betray a nice looking photo in their profile...I really cant believe you think that men are the only ppl who find it hard looking for dates it goes both ways...Im still on this site....duh! | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 2/2/2008 5:54:21 AM |
...men only want one thing from dating sites...and my reply to them its a DATING SITE NOT A SEX SITE...
Just a question: why is "sex" a four-letter word with so many women?
Arlo | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 2/2/2008 6:26:47 AM | | Not only that, but if she's so convinced that ALL men on dating sites only want sex and nothing else (which obviously disgusts her) then why is she on here? It makes no sense. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 2/2/2008 9:28:07 AM | | It just seems as if s0me men do not even read profiles, they just assume that most of the women are here looking for an intimate encounter. Predators who do not know how to read are very undesireable. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 2/2/2008 9:35:25 AM |
Just a question: why is "sex" a four-letter word with so many women?
It's not a four-letter word.....most of us simply want more than "just sex".
Jill :)
First of all, Jill, I genuinely appreciate your answer. But, it's an unkind libel against men: you're suggesting that the OVERWHELMING MAJORITY of men are looking for "just sex". 'tain't so, and I find that an offensive implication. I'd like a full, emotionally stable relationship that INCLUDES a vigourous sex life. If I wanted "just sex", I'd save up my pennies and go to a professional, instead of subjecting myself to the seemingly endless frustration of paranoia here.
(ah, pay me no heed: occasional outbursts of grumpiness are one of the symptoms of that common Hawaiin disease, Lackanookie  )
Arlo | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 2/2/2008 9:41:51 AM | | I think she does not mean it to be an unkind libel. Men who are looking for an emotionally stable relationship that includes a vigorous sex life are sought by many women who seek the same thing. We just wonder why we cannot find these men and why the other predators keep bothering us so much when we do not have profiles that would seem to appeal to them. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 2/2/2008 9:44:31 AM |
It just seems as if s0me men do not even read profiles, they just assume that most of the women are here looking for an intimate encounter. Predators who do not know how to read are very undesireable.
I'm neither illiterate, nor a predator. Just a guy who's interested in women.
Anyway, I disagree with your belief that predators don't read profiles: successful human predators have VERY INTIMATE KNOWLEDGE of their prey; you can bet your bottom dollar that a "playah" will read and re-read your profile VERY CAREFULLY, looking for that "in" that'll get him past all your defences, that'll evoke that "He's a nice guy, he could NEVER be a player!" response from you. Putting "Players need not apply!" in your profile is like parsley to a "playah": he'll just push it aside and ignore it. But, it WILL let the good guys know that you're on the defensive from the get-go, and will subject their each and every deed to microscopic scrutiny (and/or ask ALL your girlfriends about it). Which one do you think will click to the next profile, and which one do you think will grin and say, "Ah-HA, my next free ride!"?
Non-player Arlo
(I should be a profiler for the FBI...)  | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 2/2/2008 9:44:47 AM | Arlo:
First of all, Jill, I genuinely appreciate your answer. But, it's an unkind libel against men: you're suggesting that the OVERWHELMING MAJORITY of men are looking for "just sex". 'tain't so, and I find that an offensive implication. I'd like a full, emotionally stable relationship that INCLUDES a vigourous sex life. If I wanted "just sex", I'd save up my pennies and go to a professional, instead of subjecting myself to the seemingly endless frustration of paranoia here.
I in no way meant to imply that the overwhelming majority of men are looking for "just sex". I was simply stating that (at least to me) sex is NOT a four-letter word, but that I (I can only speak for myself) am looking for a relationship that isn't based solely on sex. Thank you for kindly saying you appreciated my answer, and I'm sorry if you took offense. I was only stating MY position, not casting judgements! I have met many nice men online who want it all, too. Some of them have become good friends! Unfortunately, as usual, it's a case of a few bad apples.......
Jill :) | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 2/2/2008 10:05:55 AM | | So women seem to basically be screwed when seeking a non player? We say we do not like players and we are seen as defensive, we write profiles that portray us as seeking men similar to who we are- sane, emotionally stable and capable of monogamy and the player wanna bes bother us with immature sexual crap and the real players obtain our trust and then use and abuse us? | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 2/2/2008 10:07:34 AM |
Thank you for kindly saying you appreciated my answer, and I'm sorry if you took offense.
I did not take offense, in the least; but, thanks again for your consideration!
I looked at your response as a great opportunity to understand how a woman is seeing this, and learning from it. Thanks again!
Arlo | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 2/2/2008 1:24:42 PM | I think she does not mean it to be an unkind libel. Men who are looking for an emotionally stable relationship that includes a vigorous sex life are sought by many women who seek the same thing. We just wonder why we cannot find these men ...
Because you ignore them?
...and why the other predators keep bothering us so much when we do not have profiles that would seem to appeal to them.
Really, so what? EVERYONE gets bothered by someone else from time to time. Fact of life. If he's REALLY a predator, block him, and report him. Your mistake, IMHANHO, is that you get hit on by one, or a few, horn-dawgs, and then all the rest of us pay for it. That'd be like guys saying, "Since a FEW women are gold-digging hos, then I'll ASSUME that they ALL are, and I'll treat them as guilty until they PROVE their innocence... then, I'll deny them the opportunity to prove their innocence by ignoring them."
Since no woman ever bothers to tell me in email why I "sound" like I might be a predator, perhaps someone here will give me some pointers as to how to write the perfectly bland yet compelling email introduction? How I can "get" that an ambivalent, wishy-washy "Gee, I dunno." sometimes means "YES, OH GAWD YES!!!", and sometimes means, "NO, AND DON'T BOTHER ME AGAIN OR I'LL REPORT YOU FOR STALKING!!!"? In short, how can I develop my telepathic and clairvoyant p0wers?
EDIT: Post #1162. No, women are NOT screwed when seeking a non-player. Just stop assuming that most/all men are.
Arlo (yes, a little bitter. Just keep adding sugar...) | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 2/2/2008 4:10:09 PM | | cw35 you've picked me up totally wrong, I lurv sex, however pof is a dating site (or so I thought) and I am totally disgusted with men who think otherwise....obviously you dont agree..... | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 2/2/2008 4:12:45 PM | | Oh and Arlo, I agree with Jill however, you must be few of a kind cas believe me men hunt women out exactly for that one word...sex...that annoys the hell outa me...who do they think they are... | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 2/2/2008 5:08:27 PM | | I don't agree with what? That all men on here are disgusting and just looking for sex? You're right. Not only don't I agree with it. I find it completely offensive. I'd say very few men ONLY want sex and most of those are probably under the "intimate encounter" section. If those men offend you just ignore them. Don't label every man on here as some kind of rapist. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 2/2/2008 6:11:02 PM |
Oh and Arlo, I agree with Jill however, you must be few of a kind cas believe me men hunt women out exactly for that one word...sex...that annoys the hell outa me...who do they think they are...
Do these men hunt you out ONLY for sex, or are they seeking a relationship that INCLUDES sex? 'cause there's a big difference.
Arlo | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 2/2/2008 7:38:24 PM | | Believe me, I do not ignore the sane, emotionally stable men who seek a relationship that is more than sex. As many women will tell you, they often ignore our emails since we are never good enough for them, since they are in such short supply seemingly I guess they can be extremely picky and respond to the women they see as the cream of the crop? | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 2/2/2008 7:42:15 PM | | Arlo seems to have opinions about posters that he knows little about, which of course is his right, although he knows nothing about how difficult it is to be a woman trying to weed through the crap to find a decent man. As women know nothing about how difficult it is for men to find a decent woman, or so they say. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 2/2/2008 9:30:28 PM | I don't think all women's profiles sound alike, mine is at least a bit different.
LOL>..too funny
Most common statements made by women on dating sites.
1. I like new adventures
2. I like meeting new people
3. I love to laugh (no way, really??)
4. Long walks on the beach (actually so cliche'd it goes back to the newspaper personal ads)
5. I can look good in an evening dress, to just a plain ol' torn jeans and T-shirt (or any explantion on how they can look good when dressed up OR even looking sloppy.)
6. Players don't apply, tired of players or any other statement expressing a current trend her dating lifestyle of dating bad men, expressing what she doesn't want, but chances are ...guess what, she STILL currently dates players.
7. Can you hold my interest?
8. Where are all the "good guys" or "Nice guys"? Chances are, you'll be an actual NICE guy that emails her, this man , upon seeing the "looking for a nice guy" heading, and will explain to her how he is a nice guy or the particulars of why he's a nice guy...and guess what "read/delete".
The list can indeed go on. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 2/3/2008 1:04:37 AM | | Any statement on a grown woman's profile that uses the word "player" in it, is enough to make me skip it right then and there. I'm not sure how that one particular teenage ghetto slang word seems to have seeped into the english language but it's a major turn off and sounds extremely childish. Is it so hard for a woman to say "I don't want anything to do with promiscuous men" or "I just want a one woman man"? | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 2/3/2008 5:32:52 AM |
So women seem to basically be screwed when seeking a non player? We say we do not like players and we are seen as defensive, we write profiles that portray us as seeking men similar to who we are- sane, emotionally stable and capable of monogamy and the player wanna bes bother us with immature sexual crap and the real players obtain our trust and then use and abuse us?
*shrug*
So, men are basically screwed when seeking dates? If a guy talks about sex on the first date, he's a clumsy player. If he DOESN'T talk about sex on the first date, he's a SNEAKY player. That's if he can even get a girl to agree to go for a coffee meet at all, which in my case is like trying to pull teeth. Either way, a guy's motives, apparently, are suspect, and guys are not to be trusted.
Arlo | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 2/3/2008 5:43:15 AM | Arlo seems to have opinions about posters that he knows little about...
Welcome to the human race. Show me a person who says s/he doesn't form opinions about others, and I'll show you a shameless liar.
... although he knows nothing about how difficult it is to be a woman trying to weed through the crap to find a decent man.
And, I never claimed to have such knowledge. What I HAVE claimed, though, is to have some first-hand experience at women dismissing me as a "crappy player", to go by how they (don't) respond to my introductions, and other guys have chimed in to say that they have similar experiences.
If one person complains about a problem, he's probably just being cranky. If two or more say the same thing, maybe people should pay attention.
Sometimes, ya know, when a guy says he's decent, he's actually being honest. I realize that there are (*gasp*) LIARS out there who'll portray themselves as "nice guys" when they're really not, but it seems that women have it a$$-backwards when they label guys: smooth-talking snake-oil salesmen are "nice guys", while the clumsy guys who trip over their tongues are OBVIOUSLY "players."
Arlo | |
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