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 Author Thread: Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
 indianaman

Joined: 9/25/2005
Msg: 1251
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Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 2/21/2008 7:03:51 PM
At this point my only interest in POF is to get info on events. I have attended several in the last few months. Not that I've had any luck (most of the women are too old, smokers, and/or from out of town) but at least I'm getting out there instead of wasting time at my computer. Most people have better manners in person than on the Internet.
 dancecard

Joined: 3/19/2006
Msg: 1252
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Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 2/22/2008 8:03:49 PM

I know a few women who will go out with a guy get him to pay for dinner and move on to the next guy, they have no intentioon of getting serious and just are on here to get free meals

Message: This happen to me ~ My very first "Met" off POF~ I don't know if it was her only "intentions" but definitly the main one. ~ Poor girl, I guess she was in a spot and was working her meals in. ~ I wasn't put off by that as much as other flaky behavior she offered. Needless to say ~ I was taken back by it.

So this is Internet Dating! ~~ It's never happen again ~ I met one I really liked for breakfast ~ then she took her old boy friend back ~ or so she said. ~ Stopped before it got going!

There is a million ways it can fall ~ it's been fun ~ I've not been hurt, or paid out anymore then I would any other way. ~ It's entertainment.

I can safely say ~ I can sit at home alone on a friday day ~ and not feel as if I"m missing anything. ~

As far as the thread post ~this can suck for "anybody" ~ or the best thing thats happen to you in years.

There is just as many goofy men out there as there is crazed women. Maybe more!

I truly enjoy my contacts here ~ it's enriched my life ~ and I can cut it off and on.
~dar
 justagrl070

Joined: 4/27/2007
Msg: 1253
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Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 2/23/2008 1:53:13 AM
Just going from my own personal opinion and observations having been single now for over two years and using internet dating as one option of meeting people.. I think it has just made it harder and harder for genuine women and men.... sex is given away too freely nowdays.. I find it so hard to meet someone who isnt just after trying to bed you for one time.. it doesnt seem to matter what site you are on, the profile can saw one thing.. but you quickly learn they are players.. idont think this is a generalisation just against men, but i think it possibly works both ways.. well has to doesnt it.. takes two to tango.. i really believe now that it makes it harder for those genuninely looking for someone to have a relationship with.. as well as it starts to chip away at any trust you were putting in people.. I dont know if the internet is to blame but possibly more the fact that pure sexual gratification is more acceptable and open than has been and the internet is just a means of finding willing participants.. well thats my thoughts and feelings.. so i dont feel that women get it better... think both men and women have difficulties with the modern world of internet dating!
 willx

Joined: 11/11/2006
Msg: 1254
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Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 2/23/2008 5:59:39 AM
Just gotta wait man, eventually a smart one will reply :) Until then it's a loss for those who do not. It really is :)
 niceguy99a

Joined: 3/5/2006
Msg: 1255
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Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 2/23/2008 6:45:59 AM

Just gotta wait man, eventually a smart one will reply :) Until then it's a loss for those who do not. It really is :)


Some of my friends that i have made at the Plentyoffish Hamilton Hopper event meet someone at a Plentyoffish event.

One couple got married about a year ago and he was NOT even on POF but just happened to come to the same club where the POF event was being held.

two other couples are living together who meet each other at the POF Hamilton Hoppers.

We had a baby shower recently for one of the couple living together who meet each other at the POF Hamilton Hoppers.

None of men were having luck with emailing ... since very few woman reply to an email.
 julietots

Joined: 2/3/2008
Msg: 1256
Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 2/23/2008 7:12:59 AM
i agree with blackkitty, i have just joined pof this year and so far i have been asked to be sugarmummies for about 5 twenty something guys looking for sex only. i think you guys have to check the forums to see what girls are really looking for before you send them a mail. please try not have conversations relating to sex get a dictionary and study it. if you are on chatting to a guy the talk starts off good and then ends with sexual remarks and lets find a hotel and bonk the night away. we are so fed up of it.
 niceguy99a

Joined: 3/5/2006
Msg: 1257
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Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 2/23/2008 5:12:09 PM

i agree with blackkitty, i have just joined pof this year and so far i have been asked to be sugarmummies for about 5 twenty something guys looking for sex only. i think you guys have to check the forums to see what girls are really looking for before you send them a mail. please try not have conversations relating to sex get a dictionary and study it. if you are on chatting to a guy the talk starts off good and then ends with sexual remarks and lets find a hotel and bonk the night away. we are so fed up of it.



In 2 years i can NOT remember getting a positive reply from woman i have emailed on POF and only have meet woman in person who emailed me FIRST.


I have meet more woman in person on PAYING site since many woman on POF are not serious about looking for a relationship.

Most of the GOOD man have given up on sending email and many have even QUIT POF and that is why woman get lots of email from the wrong men.

When i started 2 years ago .. there were 2 men per woman looking for a long term in my area and now the ratio is about 1.2 men per woman.

This mean there are many MORE woman joining POF in the last 2 years then men joining.

All the men i know have STOP emailing woman and hope to meet someone at a Plentyoffish event instead.

people are not judged ONLY on looks at a Plentyoffish event .

Also at Plentyoffish events i have made some amazing friends and get to dance and have fun.
 colleenjnanaimo

Joined: 1/2/2008
Msg: 1258
Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 2/23/2008 9:38:54 PM
women haave a hard time to.......especially if they are big men wont even bother with us and if they do they want sex and that is it no relationship no proper dates nothing i am sick of men b@tching about how hard it is to find women. men have to high of standards sometimes
 Frank821

Joined: 6/17/2007
Msg: 1259
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Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 2/24/2008 5:21:43 AM
I strongly agree with Eborys that internet dating sucks for guys, good for women. I've had the same experience and really think that the entire scene is just one big mess! The women on these sites are usually divorced or have had bad relationships. Therefore, they have issues & drama. They are asking for a man to be handsome, wealthy, a professional, kind, strong, sympathethic, ambitious, enthusiastic, supportive, etc. They want a man to take them to points unknown, climb the Matterhorn, surf the big waves in Hawaii, trip the light fantastic at NYC nightclubs, do Atlantic City, dance the samba & foxtrot, accept their children from a previous marriage. Not to forget, they expect the man to pay for all of this. Like Eborys stated, they get all of the e-mail & just sit back & pick and choose. The unusual thing about this internet dating is that the vast majority of these women live in places in NJ that are located 45-50 miles away. A man would need a "helicopter" to be airlifted in & out of these locales. They present photographs with a "fuzzy distortion" over them to prevent anyone from seeing what they REALLY look like. I realize that most women will disagree with what I've said but it's true. It's just one big waste of time & energy. No wonder the divorce rate is so high. One thing most women don't know is that nature provides man with an extremely high sex drive. Biologically speaking, it's there to procreate the race. The vast majority of women want a man for an "escort" to accompany them, protect, support, & provide companionship. Years ago, there were "singles bars" & now we have "electronic dating." Neither one accomplishes the desired result.
 blueeyedgirl42

Joined: 12/7/2007
Msg: 1260
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Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 2/24/2008 5:35:15 AM
I am SO sick of gereralizations!

Not all women are like that. If you read the responses from both sexes on this thread, you will find that it's just as frustratingfor women as it is for men. We do not ALL get bombarded with emails from quality men from which we can pick and choose like selecting produce in a supermarket. The vast majority of emails that I get are from men who have nothing to say, or we clearly have NOTHING in common. They would know that if they bothered to READ my profile.

The good news is that posting my hockey-chick-pic has drastically reduced the quantity of "idiot mail" I get.
 6345

Joined: 2/6/2008
Msg: 1261
Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 2/24/2008 5:52:01 AM
Well, there is allways real life dating. If its any consolation i dont take the shot gun appraoch to dating. Nor do I email every single hottie that shows up with a next to nothing profile and some taunting pics.
Then again if most guys were thinking about the things I think matter most Like personality, there is a sea of women who eveidently dont get emials every 24 hours. Hell, Attractive women say they dont get emails often and when they do its scum mostly. I think It would be more accurate to say this site is weighted against male dirt bags. (theres a S-Load of them)
 niceguy99a

Joined: 3/5/2006
Msg: 1262
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Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 2/24/2008 10:52:18 AM


Well, there is allways real life dating. If its any consolation i dont take the shot gun appraoch to dating. Nor do I email every single hottie that shows up with a next to nothing profile and some taunting pics.


I also do NOT use the shot gun approach and still do NOT replies which my woman friends can NOT understand..

Most woman's profiles are almost the same ... so the only thing difference is their photo.



Then again if most guys were thinking about the things I think matter most Like personality, there is a sea of women who evidently dont get emails every 24 hours. Hell, Attractive women say they don't get emails often and when they do its scum mostly. I think It would be more accurate to say this site is weighted against male dirt bags. (theres a S-Load of them)


The male dirt bags have NOTHING to lose by emailing as many woman as possible and do NOT read a woman's profile.
 lbgent

Joined: 5/6/2007
Msg: 1263
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Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 2/24/2008 11:28:24 AM
I agree. It's a shame, because when internet dating started I thought finally, this makes sense and this will work. But the reality of it for this man, and I suspect many more, has not been pleasant.
 fq

Joined: 3/5/2008
Msg: 1264
Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 3/20/2008 4:07:54 PM

I am not saying this because I am black, but what has 'white male' got to do with anything? does that mean you expected more emails?


I think the original poster was describing his ethnic origin and that your being grossly unfair.

I feel the original poster has some very valid points regarding online dating. They say effective communication consists of three important factors: body language, tone (the way something is said) and finally, content.

Online dating effectively strips away body language and tone and we judge someone based on their looks and content. I'd much rather chat face to face to someone to guage their physical reactions, you can't make eye contact with a monitor and you can't smile at a keyboard (unless your nuts)

I think there are more parameters to attraction than just looks and summing yourself up in three or four different paragraphs.
 ciaobaby71

Joined: 2/24/2008
Msg: 1265
Internet dating: ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS!
Posted: 3/20/2008 6:50:54 PM
I will agree that SOME are rather superficial and quite often get caught up in the appearance of others and don't look beyond. I personally prefer quality over quantity and be able to hold an intelligent conversation and have some good laughs than with a pickle head that barely speaks.

Despite what some of you guys have written I do not consider this to be an ego booster in any way shape of form. It amazes me how many get caught up in this whole "gift" and "favorite list" theory that has absolutely no relative value nor meaning for that matter. This is cyberland for Chrits sakes, have you lost your connection to the real world?

I am taken back after reading some of these posts written primarily by men. Some mention creating fake profiles with fake pictures as an experiment(grow up, get a life) others boohoo about the number of responses men get vs. women(give me a break) Some even mentioned how women come on here for a free meal(i think i can afford a dinner, thank you)...Thats just a few examples of the ignorance that lies beneath a keyboard which could very well be the very reason as to why you cant meet a "normal" woman as you say or cant get as much as a response from an email you've written...

These boards reek of bitterness from both men and women not to mention half are in a relationship and or married but the first to *itch about their other half emailing other men and women on a dating site. Half you people cause your own drama and quite frankly I find it amusing not to mention PATHETIC....
 Dreamsasea

Joined: 11/7/2007
Msg: 1266
Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 3/21/2008 8:34:15 AM
I was surprised to read so many negative responses by both men and women about internet dating as if dating is different in any form. Dating is dating, roll of the dice and I don't set myself up any more.

It's not better or worse for men than women in my experience. Do I meet a lot of guys? No. Not because they're not nice but seems the ones I attract live further away or it's a time factor where I live. I would say, on this site specifically, I've received kinder mails than I expected and now have both male/female friends through the forums.

The one mate with 18 things, sorry, couldn't identify with 98% of them. I quit looking for the negative a while ago and maybe my focus on wanting to meet and greet new people has more to do with it. There's no stress and doesn't mean I cut myself off from the sunlight of the spirit if I meet a guy who's wonderful. Even if I meet someone who's not a LTR I haven't wasted time by saying thank you or hello, I've hopefully gained some wonderful time with someone I wouldn't ordinarily run into and if I did? Would not be up for asking me to lunch or dinner. Perspectives
 blueeyedgirl42

Joined: 12/7/2007
Msg: 1267
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Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 3/21/2008 2:30:11 PM
I can't believe this thread is still going......LOL!!

I have 2 very good male friends who are trying to find someone online. We all feel the same about this.....it works sometimes, sometimes it doesn't, and not everyone is doing to be "it" for everyone else. But I really don't think it's better or worse for one gender or the other.
 kiff256

Joined: 11/22/2006
Msg: 1268
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Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 3/22/2008 11:24:50 PM
i admit that i am nowhere near the greatest looking guy in the world. i admit that it is harder for a guy and online dating. i agree that women get 10 times more attention than we do and they do have an easier time when it comes to responses. it does suck for the most part for the average guy, but we continue to do it anyways. i may get a response 1 out of every 15 messages or favorites i send. even then though, i have not had much luck on here. i end up with the females that either stand u up, r still hung on their exes or tend to have a revolving door in their bedroom. i have debated on deleting my profile numerous times, but i keep coming back because i figure that it might be a good thing that i get passed by. if it is not meant to be, then it is not meant to be. i move on just like i would if i met these people outside the net. just keep trying and hopefully u will run into someone that is worth it.
 TicketyBoo2

Joined: 10/4/2007
Msg: 1269
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Internet dating: ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS!
Posted: 3/23/2008 10:53:52 AM

These boards reek of bitterness .... and quite frankly I find it amusing not to mention PATHETIC....


hmm... methinks you've been hoisted by your own petard, thanks for contributing though

there are several reasons why women don't respond and the guys are giving some of them, i don't read them as
boohoo
, they're legitemate. it's difficult on here for your average guy.

the OP has it bang on as far as i can tell, and there's no way you can say that this is not an ego booster for women. i have seen several of my women friends log on to see there messages and they all get excited at the prospect of what's awaiting them, they may be disapointed by the results, but they sure feel wanted and desired, if only a little, and they have a sense of power that they can choose, and boy are they choosy... and this makes them powerless. it would be great if you women weren't so picky, but when you have only 5% of communication avaialble to you i guess there's little room for error.
 NamelessOne

Joined: 3/10/2008
Msg: 1270
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Internet dating: ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS!
Posted: 3/23/2008 2:24:55 PM
OK I'm just gonna put it out there. I've been on here only a couple weeks and yes I sent out like a pretty good amount of messages and you know right away when someone ain't worth your time. Only very few women responded to my messages and even someone sent ME an IM. The key here is the favorites list. I usually shy away from anyone who has more than 50 favorites considering the fact that chances are those women are usually shallow as a kiddie pool. But I say to all of you, don't sweat it and keep sending the messages, usually some girl will have half the sense to respond and then you will know if they are who they say they are in their profile :)
 Dreamsasea

Joined: 11/7/2007
Msg: 1271
Internet dating: ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS!
Posted: 3/25/2008 8:42:04 PM

I usually shy away from anyone who has more than 50 favorites considering the fact that chances are those women are usually shallow as a kiddie pool.


Men who make unfounded remarks like that, usually find the drain at their end of the kiddie pool is actually their thumb they're sitting on. If someone adds you to their favorites, it's nothing more than they may wish to reference you or print your photo out and use it on their dart board! AIM GOOD I SAY!!!!
 PCaz

Joined: 7/21/2007
Msg: 1272
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Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 3/26/2008 11:31:09 AM
I agree! It really, really, really sucks for most guys. Just a handful of guys are getting all the attention. Most of the women here are so stuck up they rarely even pay you the respect of any type of reply. You just get deleted, and far too many times deleted and unread. Never a no thank you I'm not interested. You get nothing! And try instant messenger. Just a nothing there too.

The original post mentioned ten to fifteen e-mails and no reply? Well, your lucky to get even get one from even 100 messages. For women here it's like shooting fish in a barrel. Here as it is much in life...women are in total control. That can be a good thing, or like here for instance, a bad thing.
 Masked_Hero

Joined: 12/14/2003
Msg: 1273
Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 3/26/2008 11:47:42 AM
I guess I'm one of the few lucky ones.. I get about 5 - 10 emails a day.. and I have met quite a few women on here..
 blueeyedgirl42

Joined: 12/7/2007
Msg: 1274
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Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 3/26/2008 12:05:15 PM

It really, really, really sucks for most guys. Just a handful of guys are getting all the attention. Most of the women here are so stuck up they rarely even pay you the respect of any type of reply. You just get deleted, and far too many times deleted and unread. Never a no thank you I'm not interested. You get nothing! And try instant messenger. Just a nothing there too


While I'm sure this is true, it's the same for women. I'm not denying that internet dating sucks.....just saying that it's no worse for one gender or the other.
 Alienware Adam

Joined: 5/31/2007
Msg: 1275
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Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 3/26/2008 12:21:14 PM
Try writing 30 e-mails 3 delete your message without even reading it. Only 5 reply 3 of which reject you telling you that you are too short for them yet they are shorter than you and want wsome big guy to tower over them. And the 2 remaining girls are interested. out of them One thinks she is better than you. And the other wants to control you and get you to pay her rent. Then you get a few random messages from a girl who lives way too far away. And another from some chick who you find revolting in some way. That's online dating for ya. A Sausage fest! Where women are discrimminating and way too picky. But you knwo soemthing i have ahd some sucess went on many dates and even ahd a few girlfreinds from POF. One lasting 6 months on and off and the other which was serious lasting 6 weeks but she wanted me to move in with her and pay rent after a short time of knowing her so I was like F this.
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