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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 3/30/2008 12:38:31 PM | ^^^^^ women who only meet men just after sex.. you were there?! Woo-woo! Kinky.
From these 2 last posts, it looks like men are looking for sex and women, money (or free meals).
There are NO free meals to the mate a few above. Time is valuable.
If you want safe? Go to Prison Personals and you can choose any 'born again' murderer or rapist who said he didn't do it, or she for that matter. Date a convicted con.... you can marry behind bars, have sex behind bars and leave any time you want but claim you're in a committed relationship... pun intended. :)
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 3/30/2008 1:12:53 PM | I wonder what type of girls you've emailed. I usu. reply to all emails even though it's clear the guys didn't read my profile and must have emailed to lots of girls.
Why do I think you're emailing girls a) much younger than you and/or b) "model/gorgeous stuck up types" and/or c) who you should know from their profile are not going to be interested in you.
If you pick NORMAL girls (which you may not want) I find it hard to believe that you won't get replies. Am I wrong? If so, I am sorry, but I just can't see you sending emails to appropriate girls and not getting replies. Something in your story is missing I think. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 3/30/2008 1:18:50 PM | ^What's your definition of normal?
I'd like to say that I've been emailing those who are not models/drop dead gorgeous and would still end up with no replies. And each email is different as it's not like I'm doing a cut/paste job or coming across as a perv either. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 3/30/2008 1:35:44 PM | I stopped emailing girls for dates a while back, after 190 ish girl or so in this city.
Now I have a profile that reflects my struggles and tribulations on the online communities.
In the three years I have been around here, I have found that girls online are much more picky than in real life.
Like I have been able to just walk up and politely invite myself to a girls table for lunch and have had wonderful conversations. Where on here, one would be lucky to have her even read your message, let alone write back. I guess girls are more polite in person. Though to be fair, in person there was not 30 other guys standing with me all trying to out do one another, showering her with flowers and gifts for a chance to sit with her.....haha | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 3/30/2008 1:41:39 PM | | It's no supprise that women will wait for the right guy to come along. It's also no supprise that they may not have any idea what that is. I'm sure they have it narrowed down to some extent, but may be open to something exciting. The real question is can you excite her. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 3/30/2008 1:55:27 PM | That's easy:
1) Should be about your age
2) Should LOOK about your age!
3) Should look on a 1-10 close to what you'd be rated OBJECTIVELY-ask friends for help if you can't be objective! This is a BIG one. For example should you be a 5 and you only want an 8 or better-get ready for rejection!
4) Do not rule out someone who has few lbs over or skinny or something else like that unless you REALLY care. If you do, you should not change. You like what you like, but if you're not sure perhaps email all girls that match your profile.
5) Profile should have NO major differences. For example a very pretty friend of mine has a profile up saying wants children. She gets many emails from guys who's profile says don't want kids. Why are these idiots emailing her!!!!! Come on. I'm not even going into the fact their looks are not compatible or their ages. And then one of them writes a thread like this of "OH POOR ME. NO ONE ANSWERS ME." ROFLMAO.
6) Sorry to be so harsh but come on. There is no way if you do this, all the girls are gonna ignore your emails. (At least I think I'm right-hopefully) | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 3/30/2008 2:51:06 PM | Ah listen guys... Don't take all this Internet Dating crap seriously.
I've only been here a couple of months to know that there is a LOT of trash here, both Male and Female. But what do you expect? POF is a FREE site after all so that means trash. (However, many of the paid sites are just as bad!)
Oh I'm sure that there ARE some nice and genuine people here, but they, I'm afraid, are in the minority.
To be honest, you've got more chance of winning the lottery than finding "The One" in a free, trashy, dating site like POF.
But hey, at least these forums are great!  | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 3/30/2008 2:52:05 PM | Since when I joined back in 2006, I've sent 80 emails. I've had replies to 3 of them, the rest were read/delete. I wrote messages commenting on their profiles, asked them questions in complete sentences and totaled to about 1-2 paragraphs. That's why I no longer send emails in POF for dates, because it's a waste of time.
I have more fun participating in the forums and chatting with friends I've met here.
Back to reality for me. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 3/30/2008 2:56:06 PM | it amazes me how many stunning single women there are on here. I find it surprising how many 40 ish women find themselves , with grown up kids and either separated or divorced . Its strange , you would think that attractive and strunning women wouldnt feel the need to go on dating sites, to find love. But i suppose its because of situations and looking after kids , that some women feel a bit tied to the house, and have given a lot of time to bringing up their children , that the dating world seems a bit strange and foreign
andy | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 3/30/2008 2:59:29 PM | | Dude, I have to aggree with you 200% Decent looking women dont really have to resort to dating sites unless they are such homebodies that they have no other way of meeting people. Or unless they are as picky as a aggravated porcupine and if that is the case, they will never find a good guy. I think the decent looking ones are in it just for an ego boost and that explains why everyone I meet here on this site has proven to me that I was just a number. Keep your chin up guy and try to stay positive and enjoy being single, it aint too bad. Dont let these heart breakers turn you into a peice of play dough they are trying to mold LOL | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 3/30/2008 10:44:37 PM |
times have changed. i remember about 7 years ago when the whole online dating was just getting started. i would meet women over coffee within 3 days of talking to them. sometimes it was plain flat out sex [quote}
I see why Joker has his name... time to accept the change... so... I'll repeat from another post...
Well said!! And on that note.. has anyone ever put any thought into that publicity stunt photo right before Sir Paul and his peg-leg ex were on an ice berg to promote the safety of baby seals? You know, the one BEFORE she got the millions (never heard of the Beatles)... if a man isn't strong enough to take numbers take this humour... I say, lil Missy Heather would've taken her leg off to club a baby seal just to get some PR prepping for the divorce. Poor me, poor me... come on guys, lighten up and say hi! | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 3/30/2008 11:32:18 PM |
OK, so we've established that online dating favors women and that many (if not the vast majority) of women will not write back to guys who initiated contact. That being the case, what are you going to do about it? We're not going to change women's behaviors or their preferences/requirements.
As we've seen, North American women on dating sites can afford to pick and choose simply because so many men are throwing themselves at her. I wouldn't necessarily consider the men they choose to marry and have a family with 'lucky'. Over 50% of North American marriages end in divorce. Most of the time the women are the ones who initiate divorce proceedings and benefit from it.
The choices most single North American men have are these:
1) Settle for someone you're not attracted to at all.
2) Make a lot of money and have a woman who only wants you for your money.
3) 'Become' gay and have relation(ship)s only with men.
4) Stay celibate and live a sexless life.
5) Look for women in other countries.
tkdblake93, I feel you pain. Seriously, I hope you actually wrote that because you were trying to be funny and not because you really believe it.
I see that you are 36 - that can be a problem if your male friends that are about you age are all married, because you won't have any friends to go with you in an attempt to meet women.
What you might consider doing is joining a gym and getting into the best shape that you can. Also, be sure to always dress well whenever you go out anywhere, even if it is just to go to the store.
In my personal experience, this on-line dating doesn't really work if you are looking for a girlfriend. However, if you go to public places while looking good, maybe you'll meet a nice girl on your own. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 3/31/2008 3:41:41 AM |
1) Should be about your age
2) Should LOOK about your age!
3) Should look on a 1-10 close to what you'd be rated OBJECTIVELY-ask friends for help if you can't be objective! This is a BIG one. For example should you be a 5 and you only want an 8 or better-get ready for rejection!
4) Do not rule out someone who has few lbs over or skinny or something else like that unless you REALLY care. If you do, you should not change. You like what you like, but if you're not sure perhaps email all girls that match your profile.
5) Profile should have NO major differences. For example a very pretty friend of mine has a profile up saying wants children. She gets many emails from guys who's profile says don't want kids. Why are these idiots emailing her!!!!! Come on. I'm not even going into the fact their looks are not compatible or their ages. And then one of them writes a thread like this of "OH POOR ME. NO ONE ANSWERS ME." ROFLMAO.
6) Sorry to be so harsh but come on. There is no way if you do this, all the girls are gonna ignore your emails. (At least I think I'm right-hopefully)
I'd say I've done most of these and still come up empty. For the most part, women on dating sites tend to be a lot more picky. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 3/31/2008 4:09:08 AM |
Reply to HDynasty81
OK. Guess what time it is? It's time for us smart scientic types to do a test. I want to see which girls specifically you emailed and exactly what you said. I will look at it and give you an honest girl opinion of the things i mentioned in my prior post. If you don't want it all public you can email me privately. If you only want me to put the results of my findings on the forum let me know. OK?
(OMG I hope I'm right and all the girls aren't just conceited and stuck up-as opposed to the guys picking girls clearly not their equals) but let's do theobjective test. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 3/31/2008 4:57:18 AM |
I have sent a very polite message to one particular girl, just one message and she just deleted it and blocked me.
Gotta love it when that happens don't you?
Just goes to show you the intelligence of the female species!
She probably figures you're not attractive TO EVEN COMMUNICATE WITH so the blocked you.
The sad part of it all is that we ALL have something or some way we can benefit from one another if we could ALL learn to work together.
Now for those intellligent enough, by now you should very well know that will NEVER occur due to the fact that we don't all think that way.
Hell many people don't even think period.
Why block someone in the first place?
Just because you may not have seen any kind of physical attraction to that individual?
Perhaps getting to know that very same individual may have brought you one step closer to finding the person you were in search of all this time!
What can I say though. Mosy people don't even possess HALF a brain to thin with. most of society of composed of nothing but idiotic simpletons that lack depth, substance & insight.
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 3/31/2008 4:57:42 AM | Honestly I disposed of the emails I sent out as I didn't see any need in continuing to look at "Read/Unread Deleted" in my sendbox.
Most times I would send an email and usually the topic header would correlate with their profile. If the person was big on movies, I'd have "Take a bow" or "Curtain Call". If the person was a sports aficionado, I'd mention something along the lines of what they liked. Most times it would at least get a read, but usually a deleted message in the end.
I didn't mention sex or anything that they would probably get on average from guys like "You're pretty", "What's your sign?" or "Let's hook up" or anything.
Sometimes I get the Read message but never hear back from them. I'm not overly pissed or anything or on a woman-hating tirade, just stating my recent experiences on POF. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 3/31/2008 5:01:34 AM |
tkdblake93, I feel you pain. Seriously, I hope you actually wrote that because you were trying to be funny and not because you really believe it.
Ah, the choices. I actually meant all that.
I see that you are 36 - that can be a problem if your male friends that are about you age are all married, because you won't have any friends to go with you in an attempt to meet women.
Yes, they're mostly married with kids. Once I did invite a divorced co-worker to go to a salsa club in Dallas with me. Unfortunately, he just wanted to sit at a table by the wall all night. He wasn't bad-looking. He was tall and liked to ride 10-speed bikes, but he was a moron around women he found attractive.
What you might consider doing is joining a gym and getting into the best shape that you can. Also, be sure to always dress well whenever you go out anywhere, even if it is just to go to the store.
I've done the gym thing. For 4 years I worked for a company in a building which had a gym right across the street. With the corporate discount I paid about $30 a month. In 2005 I briefly moved back to Dallas and joined a barebones 24 Hour Fitness and paid about $22 a month. That year I lost about 30 pounds and have kept it off. It wouldn't hurt to lose another 30 pounds, but currently I live in hicksville and the gyms in nearby towns charge about $60 a month; even if I were currently working full-time and making decent money I wouldn't pay that much unless it was a totally awesome gym. But even that's probably not a bad deal considering that most martial arts schools charge about that much and don't have shower facilities to freshen up after a sweaty workout. And martial arts school usually don't have a lot of female members. (That's a hint to women looking for men.)
In my personal experience, this on-line dating doesn't really work if you are looking for a girlfriend. However, if you go to public places while looking good, maybe you'll meet a nice girl on your own.
Yeah, sometimes the old-fashioned way is best. When I was in college I dated about a handful of young ladies. They're in good supply on college campuses, that's for sure. Young and away from home for the first time and willing to experience new things and enjoy life, that's the best! Young guys in their early 20s should rent "Road Trip" and consider going to college if they want to meet hot young women. 
Once you join the work force, you usually don't have a lot of time or energy to go looking or do much socializing. That's one reason why online dating is popular. You don't have to dress up and go out to talk to women. But at the same time online dating doesn't yield the same results that going out and meeting people do. I like foreign women. While living in Dallas they weren't too hard to find. Want a nice Mexican girl? Take public transportation and learn Spanish. Others? Go to an ethnic restaurant or church (even if you're not particularly religious). And I've met some in bookstores, including a tall blonde Russian female college student who came back to the section where we were having a conversation just to ask me for my e-mail address. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 3/31/2008 5:08:26 AM | | For the most part...Your right!!....The woman have it made....A while back I tried one of the other "PAY" dating sites....I only had two pics up and I didnt write much in my profile....I had about the same luck as you...But....when I started this site,I changed things around a bit...For example:I put 6 or 7 pics up...then,I put my heart into my profile...REMEMBER...woman dont think like us...they want to see a smiling face and an honest profile...dont get me wrong...your still gonna get woman who think the're the "BOMB"...when the're not...but when you see those woman who make a thousand demands on their profile...just laugh and keep on movin' right past her....In the end...she's the one who'll be on dating sites for the next twenty years...keep your head up... | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 3/31/2008 5:14:17 AM |
Sometimes I get the Read message but never hear back from them. I'm not overly pissed or anything or on a woman-hating tirade, just stating my recent experiences on POF.
Unfortunately, that's a lot of guys' experience on dating sites. It happens to me too and you just can't take it personally. Sometimes a lady does write back and I think it's due to the minimalist approach I use. In other words, I'm not writing a long drawn-out e-mail message. I'll notice something in her profile and write 1 or 2 sentences tops.
However, if you truly feel like you're not doing well with women on dating sites, maybe you should consider going on a 'single gentlemen's tour' to a Latin American country. Don't look for a girlfriend or wife. Just go for a week with a dozen or so other American guys and meet dozens of Latin women with interpreters around to help facilitate conversation. Even if you don't meet a potential girlfriend or wife on that trip, you will still have had fun and you will have had a different experience than what you're used to at home. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 3/31/2008 9:21:12 AM | I have seen proflies of some women who demand a guy have a house, a car a pension plan..if he rents a house or an apartment she is not interested some of those say nothing about what their hobbies or interests are or what they want in a personality of a man ...It must be nice to be so picky.
I get my share of messages that I send that say "unread deleted" or "read deleted"
I just wonder why thees ladies are so picky.
When I read treads about women complaining they want men to tell the woman about themselves in an e-mail message and hate getting messages of just "hi" or "coffee?" I wonder what I need to do to get the message read when I tell the lady about myself in an e-mail message.
There are some who are on this site for years who either want to just date a guy for a few weeks or few months, get him to pay for all dates and move on to the next guy (I have had this happen to me a few times on this site.) Those are the women that cause the stereotype of internet dating being great for women.
I am looking for my Ms Right, I am shocked at how many women either do not read the e-mail message or who just like playing games. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 3/31/2008 9:41:22 AM |
if he rents a house or an apartment she is not interested
Really? Seems a little silly to me......I know some people who didn't buy until they were in their 50's.
I know I have my own preferences, but have never even thought of this one. Wow.
Not everyone is interested in owning a home. It's a lot of work. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 3/31/2008 10:27:36 AM | Internet Dating...
As with everything else... Nice idea... But...
I'm just glad I ain't desperate right now, so I'm just happy to hang out on these forums (for now at least). Unlike my friend who introduced me to POF. He's desperately seeking Love at the moment (poor b*stard!) and after a few months here, he's giving up on Internet Dating all together. He never did tell me the reasons (although they were clearly obvious), but judging from his voice, he seemed angry and frustrated...
Just like in Real Life, women will ALWAYS have that edge. After all, they're the ones that bear children so I guess it's a biological imperative for a woman to be as picky as she needs to be.
Given that I've also read PLENTY of scare stories here, regarding women that have given men (usually the WRONG men... perhaps those that have way too much money but seriously flawed personalities) a chance, only for them to indecently expose themselves or really f*ck-up the date big time in a multitude of different ways (i.e. like asking for sex on a first date), then that only compels women to be even MORE picky and careful about who they correspond with.
Also given that women, in general, have a "nest" mentality, especially those that desire children, then unfortunately their materialistic needs could be high. This in itself would compound the problem of “pickiness” even further...
It's a complex problem, driven by biology, society, money and psychology and I've only glossed over a handful of possible reasons here.
However, as I've said in a previous post, I think that there are faults on both sides of the sexual divide. Sure, some women ARE way too picky, ridiculously so. Some for completely stupid, irrelevant, materialistic and egotistical reasons. But some simply because they got badly hurt or abused by men.
And if that is the case, then as men, women being picky because we've let them down badly is our own fault entirely. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 4/1/2008 7:13:45 AM | NO SURPRISE YOU GET NO REPLIES
Ok guys, a few posts ago I put forth my hypothesis of why you get no replies. So far, I've been right.
I got a few private emails from guys asking my opinion on what went wrong. WHAT A SURPRISE!!! They picked girls TOTALLY out of their league for varying reasons. I'd be surprised if you did get a reply after wasting their time. Sorry to be so harsh but I'm tired of you guys whining about this after you pick a girl who CLEARLY IS NOT FOR YOU because you ONLY LIKED HER PICTURE!!!!!
The big problems I found are as follows:
1) She is much younger than you, i.e. more than 5 years. GUYS WAKE UP. Just like you have a wrong perception of not wanting an older girl obviously, the younger girls you write have the same wrong perception. WRITE GIRLS W/IN 5 YEARS OF YOUR AGE and that means 5 years younger OR OLDER!.
2) She is MUCH HOTTER THAN YOU. Sorry to be so blunt, but you know how you look-or write me and I'll tell you. If she's an 8 and you're a 4, can you write, sure, but don't complain when she ignores you! Again, just like you ignore the girls much "uglier" than you, they will ignore you too. What's goose for the gander....
3) She is looking for something different than you. If she has friends and you have long term-KEEP LOOKING. She doesnt' want you. If you have friends and she has long term-KEEP LOOKING. Look at the section for what they want and it should match yours.
4) Your opening letter to her. Surprisingly I have found the least amount of problems here-you are usually polite and on point. However, sometimes there's problems as follows: a) wrote too much b) wrote too little c) it's a beginner introduction write between 1-2 paragraphs d) you talk about exes and kids-not needed so soon since it's in your profile
5) Sorry to be so hard, but from my test so far, I don't think you guys should be surprised at no replies.
I am NOT excusing the rude girls. But on your part, you shouldn't be too surprised.
If you send me the link to the girl you wrote and what you said-I will look at it and see why she didn't respond to you. Perhaps I will find some guys actually writing to girls that are normal and appropriate for them but that's not the trend I'm seeing so far.
P.S. Remember, even if you write to normal and appropriate girls some may just not like you anyway for reasons of their own or be rude and ignore you. But my new hypothesis is that you should get at least a 10% reply rate. Which means for every 10 appropriate letters you send you'll get 1 reply. You guys seem to say you send out like 100 and get none. NOOOOOOOOOOOO WAYYYYYYYYYYYYY! I am sure they're mostly inappopriate ones. And in the bars, think of how many girls you speak to till 1 says yes, so my guess of a 10% return rate is pretty good.
P.P.S. If I help you and you start getting replies and dating the girl and get married and have kids-in lieu of payment-you need to GO VEGAN! :). | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 4/1/2008 8:30:29 AM | | I agree...If you can read people in real world you can read people on line and know instantly if its your cup of tea...Which actually works on POF in the good guys favor...If the girls fit the image of supermodel and have a hundred dates thats a hundred guys that got suckered in on a date as #99 and tomarrow is her #100 sucker date looking for a super model......Which means in long run we get the best gals with the best value and the funnest times not chasing the super models...so the super model women and guys end up chasing thier tail in a circle forever.....we end up having to be patient but end up looking at the GQ and supermodels later with true sole mate and laugh going glad I am not you guys......So hold heads high good men and women let the boys and girls chase thier tail forever.....Patience results in treasure! | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 4/1/2008 6:07:14 PM | Im a bit on the fence with this whole issue. Yes, as a women on this site, you can\do get a lot of pervs or rude guys etc and its a real shame you have to deal with that. BUT it is frustrating when you take the time to read a girls profile (and not just oogle over her pictures) and then write a polite personal first message, only to see read or unread deleted without them even looking at my profile. In my experiences, girls here are a lot more picky, because they can afford to be.
Fair enough I guess, why not be picky when you can be, after all we all want the best, but it still doesnt make it right to not atleast give a polite response back to a person who made some effort to find out about you. When I have had girls contact me, if im not interested I will politely let them know, and I think its fair to ask the same from the opposite sex.
What ticks me off the most is if you have written in your profile saying something along the lines of "no one line messages \ dont just say hi \ be polite" and then they dont have the decency to do the same and simply say, thanks for your message, but you arent my type. | |
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