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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 4/3/2008 11:15:02 AM | Even if they are not interested they should give a polite rsponse.
I know a few women who are single mothers and they think that they can just create a profile and men should send messages. They get many messages and they keep ruling men out for not being tall enough or if the man has a child themselves then some will not date a man with children even though they have children themselves. They complain that their Mr Right is not maically appearing in their inbox.
Really why should the men do all the work? Females should send out messages too instead of complaining they can not find Mr Right when they do not make any effort at al., | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 4/3/2008 1:12:18 PM | | there are certain women in this website that are truly unpolite. Granted, the ratio between women and men in this site is disproportionated. Therefore, women receive many e-mails....But women usually ask for "respect", "no games" "be serious"...But they can not even send you a "No thanks" note...Some women in this place are drunk with the attention they receive...Ladies, be polite and responde to people! | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 4/3/2008 3:38:09 PM | | Many women rarely receive responses, and when we do, they are usually men half our age looking for a sugar mama or a man our age seeking a one night stand. If a woman is not great looking she is damned it seems, for nothing seems to matter except looks. An average looking woman who has a lot to offer is often ignored, as is aman who offers a lot. (or so the men seem to say). | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 4/3/2008 7:49:36 PM | 1) She is much younger than you, i.e. more than 5 years. GUYS WAKE UP. Just like you have a wrong perception of not wanting an older girl obviously, the younger girls you write have the same wrong perception. WRITE GIRLS W/IN 5 YEARS OF YOUR AGE and that means 5 years younger OR OLDER!.
I disagree. A fair amount of women would have no problem dating a man that is about 8-10 years older and/or younger than she is. I know a 30 yr old man who often dates women in their late 30s or early 40s. I also know a 35 yr old man who who often dates 25-30 yr old women. The only time I would agree with you if a woman has an age range mentioned in her profile. The man was well outside that age range, but decided to email her anyways.
2) She is MUCH HOTTER THAN YOU. Sorry to be so blunt, but you know how you look-or write me and I'll tell you. If she's an 8 and you're a 4, can you write, sure, but don't complain when she ignores you! Again, just like you ignore the girls much "uglier" than you, they will ignore you too. What's goose for the gander....
Looks are subjective. I could be a 4 to one woman and a 9 to another woman. Also, even when a man emails a "less attractive" woman, most of his emails are read/deleted.
But my new hypothesis is that you should get at least a 10% reply rate. Which means for every 10 appropriate letters you send you'll get 1 reply.
For the sake of argument, suppose this is true, When a man does get a positive reply, it doesn't necessary mean that a man would end up meeting her. She could exchange a few emails and then disappear because she has the "grass is always greener on the other side" mentality. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 4/3/2008 8:43:31 PM | Northeast25
Yes you are right in what you are saying, but to just say everthing is subjective is to essentially give up looking at any statistics. Sure anyone might view anyone differently from the "norm" but there is a norm. If I show your pic and/or profile to 100 people most of them will agree on a small deviation of range. This is all about statistics. The more responses you get the more chance of finding someone.
And yes just cause you exchange emails doesn't mean you're gonna meet, but if you cant' even get that far, you're surely not gonna meet, so let's do 1 step at a time. The first step is to make sure the girls are actually replying to the girls' emails. That would be nice, agree? :) | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 4/3/2008 8:45:33 PM | | I happen to agree with Black Kitty being that I too have received unwanted sexual explicit emails from men. Those are not the ones I choose to reply to either. So therefore, it really is difficult for women as it is for guys to find someone that is really interested in meeting someone that would lead to a relationship. It really sucks that men are not willing to find out anything about a woman, but rather find out what she is wearing or her sexual preferences. So, before you say that it is easier for women on here or any other site, think twice..... | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 4/4/2008 5:19:38 AM | I've said it before, but I'll say it again. Internet dating may very well suck for men....I'm not a man, and therefore cannot make a fair assessment. HOWEVER....it sucks for women, TOO. There may be more women on this site than men, but the MAJORITY of women, if what I see is typical, are not being bambarded by well thought out, well written, intelligent emails from perfect (whatever THAT means) men. The emails I usually get are from the few men I've gotten to know here over the last 4 months and an OCCASIONAL (and by occasional I mean MAYBE one every week or 2) email from someone who has seen my profile and MAY be interested.
I don't know about this whole numbers rating system. According to the rating on my profile, I'm about a 7. Should I add to my profile that only other "7's" need apply?
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 4/4/2008 8:13:45 AM | you got to be patient. I met over 85 men on this site. most of them were creaps. I dated 3 in the passed on this site but they all have problems. i don't rely on this site. But I can Make new friends on here. were are you from ? I can't seem to access your account.
Jen | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 4/4/2008 8:28:49 AM |
TrueLoveIsNeer wrote: you got to be patient. I met over 85 men on this site. most of them were creaps. I dated 3 in the passed on this site but they all have problems. i don't rely on this site. But I can Make new friends on here. were are you from ? I can't seem to access your account.
Jen
85 men? I've been on this site for a year and a half and have had contact with between 5 and 10 women, 0 dates so far. Nah, it would be a mistake to put all your eggs in one basket, whatever that "basket" is, this site or others or real life. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 4/4/2008 8:44:48 AM |
Yes you are right in what you are saying, but to just say everthing is subjective is to essentially give up looking at any statistics. Sure anyone might view anyone differently from the "norm" but there is a norm. If I show your pic and/or profile to 100 people most of them will agree on a small deviation of range. This is all about statistics. The more responses you get the more chance of finding someone.
I don't think there is a general rule for this. On another website, a woman had an average rating of a 6. Most men rated her between a 5 and a 7. Another woman also had an average rating of a 6. However the individual ratings were more spread out. She got a fair amount of 8s and 9s. She also got a fair amount of 2s and 3s. This also depends on the type of woman that a man is attracted to. A man that is attracted to curvy women will rate women differently than a man that is attracted to thin women. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 4/4/2008 8:48:50 AM | I find that you can't make a quick decision online by just talking a few times.
I don't just make a quick decision because it takes time. I know I have a hard time in the very beginning. I find that men my up their mind way to soon by doing that they could lose out. I find it to be easy to talk a few times over the phone then see if you want to meet. Just emailing is no way at all.....I feel men need to give it some time before they just disregard the person, get to know them a little better first.
I find that men do this a LOT! So we are all at fault here. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 4/4/2008 9:12:38 PM | Women have it made? No, they have it harder.
Actually, they have it easier, they're just, way, way, harder to satisfy. Women aren't happy just having someone adequate like men are. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 4/4/2008 9:38:28 PM |
Women have it made? No, they have it harder.
Actually, they have it easier, they're just, way, way, harder to satisfy. Women aren't happy just having someone adequate like men are.
Yeah, it seems like many won't give up until they find that tall millionaire. And the most part he's got to be under 40 years of age and not have a beer belly. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 4/4/2008 9:59:59 PM | Sit down before you hurt yourself dude! I'd like to think you wrote this in a very glum mood. I joined POF a little while ago (maybe 6 weeks now). Yes I am a good-looking girl and yes I got asked out quite a bit but there are four things you are wrong about and maybe you will feel a little better if I straighten u out here a bit:
1) Sometimes men don't respond to women's emails either - or if they do and ask u if you have met anyone nice and u state "well actually I just met a nice guy and we had one date, he's cool." Then slam! The door shuts in your face....seriously. I mean don't ask if you don't want an honest answer.
2) I personally feel bad if I am not truly interested in someone who has taken the courage and time to show an interest in me. I am always flattered by a man's interest, it is very reassuring and complimentary. At the very least I respond and chat. I do not just turn a man down because it hurts to be rejected. I know that too.
3) I am quite aggressive when I like a man. I have initiated contact with about 4 men and I have met 3 of them and enjoyed their company immensely. Mind you I am a very confident woman and not seeking anything in particular just a great time, a few laughs. I didnt even join this site with the intention of "picking someone up". I was bored and wanted to see who was out there. And you know I discovered there are a lot of charming, lovely local men....something I honestly didn't expect because I am new to this area.
4) I met up with a few men - some who were very attractive and some who were average and I didn't care either way....in fact most people's pictures don't match the real thing anyway. Didn't matter. These are (mostly) good guys and they were worth meeting. What's a 10 anyway? Before POF I dated gorgeous men, plain men and some men that my friends thought were a little on the homely side of average. If I liked them I thought they were beautiful and I didn't care at all what anyone thought. There are a lot of women around like that.....most of them are personal friends of mine.
Does that make you feel any better?
ciao belo | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 4/4/2008 10:00:34 PM | Sit down before you hurt yourself dude! I'd like to think you wrote this in a very glum mood. I joined POF a little while ago (maybe 6 weeks now). Yes I am a good-looking girl and yes I got asked out quite a bit but there are four things you are wrong about and maybe you will feel a little better if I straighten u out here a bit:
1) Sometimes men don't respond to women's emails either - or if they do and ask u if you have met anyone nice and u state "well actually I just met a nice guy and we had one date, he's cool." Then slam! The door shuts in your face....seriously. I mean don't ask if you don't want an honest answer.
2) I personally feel bad if I am not truly interested in someone who has taken the courage and time to show an interest in me. I am always flattered by a man's interest, it is very reassuring and complimentary. At the very least I respond and chat. I do not just turn a man down because it hurts to be rejected. I know that too.
3) I am quite aggressive when I like a man. I have initiated contact with about 4 men and I have met 3 of them and enjoyed their company immensely. Mind you I am a very confident woman and not seeking anything in particular just a great time, a few laughs. I didnt even join this site with the intention of "picking someone up". I was bored and wanted to see who was out there. And you know I discovered there are a lot of charming, lovely local men....something I honestly didn't expect because I am new to this area.
4) I met up with a few men - some who were very attractive and some who were average and I didn't care either way....in fact most people's pictures don't match the real thing anyway. Didn't matter. These are (mostly) good guys and they were worth meeting. What's a 10 anyway? Before POF I dated gorgeous men, plain men and some men that my friends thought were a little on the homely side of average. If I liked them I thought they were beautiful and I didn't care at all what anyone thought. There are a lot of women around like that.....most of them are personal friends of mine.
Does that make you feel any better?
ciao belo | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 4/4/2008 10:27:28 PM | | i totally agree with this topic. i have sent alot of emails and have gotten a few brief responses. and all the women have to say is how they had horrible dates with guys from here. how do these losers get these nice wmen to go out with them when i cant even get a girl to respond half the time, and when they do respond its only for a few emails and they dissapear. im really sick of women say they want an" honest, sweet, careing man who knows how to treat a woman" and when one comes in their face, they either ignore them or dont take them serious. im sry you ladies have had bad expreiences on here, but that dont mean that nice guys like me deserve to be ignored by you. take a chance ladies im quite sure you will be surprised | |
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| Internet dating: ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS!
Posted: 4/6/2008 1:00:46 PM |
You spend 30-45 minutes writing an email of introducing yourself and asking a few open ended questions to draw out some conversation and get back a 1 liner...
Not sure that's such a bad thing.
If I spend any time at all ( and I often do ) a one-liner is better than nothing, or finding read-deleted.
It's a cruel world, but it's life. NEXT !
Of more bother to me, is a laundry list of Must Nots, particularly the must not have messaged another user looking for X. Huh ? The site allows no qualifications beyond those little boxes, so if I've messaged someone looking for an activity partner, what's wrong with that ? This one, I *really* don't get.
Do I expect a response to every note I may pen ? Nope. Not any more. Fortunately, it tells me something about that person, rightly or wrongly.
I am bugged that it seems *because* I realize a person may check a certain "looking for" box, and message them because of something entirely different in their interests or other description suggests that the "looking for" may not be entirely accurate, that I ( and others I'm sure ) are automaticly excluded from even a hello.
This can cause a tendency for even more to check some other box, just so they can get past the laundry list of must nots.
Almost as bad, maybe worse, when one does spend time to construct an introductory expression of interest, and with no response finds later that not only have they refused the courtesy of even a reply, but have been blocked ! Go figure.
Are *all* wome like this ? No. Of course not, just as *all* men are not any certain way, but the preponderance of evidence would tend to suggest.....
The majority of us ( men ) frankly ARE sometimes, maybe often, oblivious to what seems painfully obvious to some women.
Give me a break ! After all, I am just a man ! ( and a damn good one, I might add ) | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 4/6/2008 6:46:31 PM | Sorry to burst your bubble guys, but I'm going to agree 100% with blueeyedgirl42. I've heard the stories about women getting hundreds of messages a day, but that's never been the case for me. In fact, it's been MONTHS since I've gotten a single message, and the last one I got was all of one word--"hello." Literally, that was the entire message.
How am I supposed to take that? I'll tell you one thing, it sure doesn't make me feel any better about myself. For as wonderful as online dating is supposed to be for women (and how wonderful POF is supposed to be because it's free), sorry but I'm just not buying it. You men may feel worthless, but believe me, there are plenty of women who are right there with you. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 4/16/2008 8:28:08 AM | To The OP
You say women can choose from a variety of men ? True, but isn’t that we men’s fault for not being selective. I agree, just like in life most women don't 'generally' approach men BUT that means women can ONLY choose from the men who CHOOSE them FIRST. Women have to WAIT for it happen, we men can MAKE IT happen. I dunno about you, but I think we have the better deal. Yes women get can sex easy, but so can hookers, so does that mean hookers are all powerful ?
It seems from the guys on this forum that men are living a life of scarcity. Men are being forced into loneliness because most women don’t want to give some men the time of day. It’s simple men demand, women supply. They make sure supply is less than demand therefore they control the transaction. There is plenty sex and love to go round yet women are like Fort Knox in that they deny and hoard the stockpile and thus drive the price up. This is why always it’s the males of species who have to grow huge antlers, giant tail feathers, or other stuff just to attract females. It just shows that females get far more choice over which males they get and males wind up being selected ONLY to satisfy any criteria females get in the habit of using.
However guys the downside of this, or to balance it out is that the consequences for woman choosing the wrong man are far greater than it is for a man choosing the wrong woman. The female only wants to procreate with the male who has the BEST genes because she will have to devote her life to bearing and raising his children. Also even if she does not want kids with said man how does she know those men are decent enough (i.e. faithful, honest, not alcoholics) to form a long-term meaningful relationship with ?
Finally here is another truth, one that women DON’T want us to know, she may have it, you may want it, and she may verbally protest against your lust, but the truth…if she likes you, she really wants you to win, she just wants you to work for it so she feels she didn't give it up too easily, she needs to know that you were willing to fight for her, but at the same time she longs to give in and let you win. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 4/16/2008 8:39:54 AM | I absolutely agree with you. Of the 10 or so messages I have sent, all but 1 have been ignored & or deleted. Perhaps I should look for some troll thats addicted to drugs with 6 kids. No, I probably would get shot down even then. People are just too damn picky. I smoke. That in itself isn't good for me, I am very aware. But Jesus Christ! You would think I'm a felon or a child molester. I'm normal & by myself. Getting more & more used to it every day.javascript:smilie(' ')
javascript:smilie('') | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 4/19/2008 12:21:04 PM | Get this. This is worse than not getting a response, or a brief, dishonest response. I've been messaging this girl(my age, my area, common interests) for three weeks, agreed that we would meet at a certain place, had some trouble finding time, then spring break started. Rather than responding to me today, she seems to have deleted her account. I mean it says "this user deleted their account" like on purpose. She even had me listed as a favorite. I can't be sure if she was playing me, just "found a man" or made a service violation and she didn't actually choose to delete her account.
Now there's nobody who'll respond to me where I live, and the next who signs up will just get flooded with e-mails anyway. I really had high hopes for this site, being both neither costly nor desolate. But it's just not good enough. I'll have to go to to bars and clubs and **** to have any chance.  | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 4/19/2008 12:52:07 PM |
In real life I get a lot of looks and attention
Then theirs no need for u to be on here then luv. =] 90% of the great lookin girls are only on here to "big themselfs up" and like the attention of recieving the endless messages of "wow! ur hot babe" | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 4/19/2008 2:27:55 PM | Gee, maybe it's because when *I* do initiate contact I am either totally and completely ignored or I get offered a sexual encounter.
I messaged a guy just to ask him where one of his pictures was taken and he looked at my profile and then ignored my question. I wasn't even coming onto him, just asking a freakin' question.
Sheesh, guys get over yourselves!!!! | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 4/19/2008 3:10:44 PM | Going by the women I have talked to internet dating seriously sucks for women too !
The pictrues of the few good looking ones on POF misleads people into thinking they can get someone like that.
In this world you need to be good looking to pick someone up who is good looking. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 4/19/2008 3:22:58 PM | People are just too damn picky. I smoke. That in itself isn't good for me, I am very aware.
Nor is it good for other people.....I personally will not date a smoker. Breathing is a pretty high priority for me.......
Rather than responding to me today, she seems to have deleted her account.
It's probably NOT personal. I've had this happen more than once. I think I'd have to be pretty egotistical to think they all disappeared just to avoid ME. | |
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