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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 4/19/2008 5:03:17 PM | | I can't speak for all women, but I am certainly not like that. A majority of time its not the looks of the guy that catch my eye, its their ability to write to a semi-articulate note that sparks my interest. I have had super attractive men contact me, and am usually disappointed because their messages lack personality, which to me is a total turn off. I have also have had the average looking guy write me, and have had some interesting conversations with them because they took the time to write something that is meaningful. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 4/19/2008 8:28:50 PM | | I find many women are looking for the perfect man...he does not exist but the interne seems to give many women many dating option amd sites like this seem to have a lot of single mothers..there are very few single moms on another dating site I am a member of. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 4/19/2008 9:50:58 PM | it's always great for women for online and offline as far as dating goes. men have to come to them and the women are the decision makers as far as what happens and if the guy doesn't measure up in a myriad of ways (and the guy is just worried about one thing basically that she could easily meet but what women can demand, most men would have no feasible way of meeting the requirement).
the guy has the upper hand ONLY when he knows she is in love with him and then he can sit back and let her do most of the work, or if he's the type of guy that women can't stop throwing themselves on, even if he has a woman (such as if he's a rockstar, professional bsketball player, etc.). LOL, I get a laugh at how people use their minds in what is deemed a good catch!
Well guys, what are you up to? one email reply per 20 messages sent? Don't expect a courtesy reply - this is not a fair life even though women's liberation claims they want equality.
Fascinating life we have here on this sordid planet. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 4/19/2008 10:11:32 PM |
it's always great for women for online and offline as far as dating goes.
I could not disagree with this more.
I won't sit here and say that it isn't hard for men, because I know it is. They are generally the one's who make the first moves and the one's who therefore deal with more rejection. While there are MANY women who have no problems making the first move, there's still too few of them. So I do get it.
It's really hard for ANYONE who is shy.. even if they're only a little shy. Even if they're really only shy when their "pants are on fire" for someone.
men have to come to them and the women are the decision makers
Same again. Disagree.
For those of us who do make moves (females, I mean)... do you honestly think none of us get turned down? We absolutely do. Women don't hold ALL the cards. Not even close.
Don't expect a courtesy reply - this is not a fair life even though women's liberation claims they want equality.
There's really only one reason women don't reply. If they aren't interested and do the guy the courtesy of telling him so, they fear getting back a nasty comment for their trouble. This happens so much and it's pretty disgusting. I'd rather be thought of as rude than to risk this garbage in my in box.
I imagine that men might get this type of reply when they turn a girl down, but I don't know... not being a man (y'all will have to enlighten me there).
Internet dating can be sucky and can be good. It's been a healthy dose of both for me. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 4/20/2008 10:56:09 AM | | you kno i would have to strongly disagree wit everything you have said. not only do women not make the first move. or first contact. they all say the same thing. they want a "perfect man" guess what, there is no such thing. every human is flawed. but the thing is, i dont expect to find my true love on here. i only want to make friends, and i am sick of writing hundreds of letters, and them either not reading them, or not responding to them. and i have never had a girl make the first contact. i am a nice guy, i love to laugh and have a good job. but that dont seem to be enough for women on here. or anywhere in life. it is true that nice guys finish last and im sick of it. its like i always say, a girl can walk into any bar and say " i want to get laid" and not only will every man line up, but most women will too. now a guy can walk into that same bar and say the same thing, he will not only not have noone lining up, but he will be in jail quicker then he can blink. its a womans game, and men dont stand a chance, no matter how nice they are. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 4/20/2008 11:05:53 AM | ^^^^^^^^
You are, of course, entitled to your opinion, but the fact is.....there ARE women who make initial contact, and there are women who respond to emails. I'm not looking for a perfect man....just one that has many of the qualities that I am looking for. However, if someone takes the time to write me a message, I still respond politely, even though he may not be who or what I am looking for. I know I have, and I expect many women (as many as men) have had well thought out, intelligent emails read and deleted. I'm not saying it doesn't suck.....just that it's the same for both men and women. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 4/20/2008 5:11:35 PM |
You are, of course, entitled to your opinion, but the fact is.....there ARE women who make initial contact, and there are women who respond to emails.
I keep hearing of these legendary creatures; maybe we should drag Leonard Nimoy out of retirement and have him do a segment of "In Search Of..." 
(okay, got that out of my system... I've actually had women initiate contact with me... no p0sitive results, though...)
Arlo | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 4/20/2008 6:33:01 PM | so i am completely wrong? lol providing a counter-example of minscule proportions does not take away the general scheme of things.
If you're a female of 40-50 years old, tell us who made the initial moves and who decided back when you were age 20.
wish we had a section for logic in the forums. :) | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 4/21/2008 9:04:28 PM | | hahah thats a good one. i keep hearing of these creatures too. only problem is like big foot, noone has ever seen them. if they are aout there, they sure dont know how to respond to an email, i have talked to alot of guys from this site and i hear one thing thats all the same, no women have made first contact, and rarely respond when we take the chance to make the first contact. i get more im screens opend and just as quickly shut down. | |
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jf468
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Joined: 12/4/2007
Msg: 1388 | |
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 4/21/2008 9:26:13 PM | | Internet dating sucks for most men and women. Both genders have to deal with rude people, weird people, people who are dishonest about their looks, people who aren't serious about meeting up. The only difference is the average woman probably get more emails than the average man. However a fair amount ( though not all or most ) of these emails are from men who clearly didn't the profile, men looking for sex etc. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 4/22/2008 4:46:59 AM | If you're a female of 40-50 years old, tell us who made the initial moves and who decided back when you were age 20.
Exactly, it was men who made the first move. Here's the thing though, most women still think like that as do men. Why? Because that's what our parents did and what the media continues to show us.
Things are not going to change overnight. I however have changed the way I date. I contact more men than contact me. In person, I "go after" what I want. I try not to ask what a man does for a living too soon as men don't like that. I am listening, but who is listening to me?
I must say though that usually when the man contacts me first, it leads to a date. Men want women to contact them? I have and it has never lead to a date ONCE. In person however, it has. If things have not changed that much, it still stands that men like to do the initial chasing?
So I have read and "heard" what the men say on these forums and I now contact men first and I get "unread/deletes" too. I'm very tired of everyone complaining, saying that men and women do not listen to each other. Well I try! And it has gotten me just as far as some of you men who have posted on this thread LMAO. What's a girl to do :)
Some of us are fighting a battle that is not yet won I do believe.... | |
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| Hakunah mattatta.
Posted: 4/22/2008 7:19:57 AM |
I must say though that usually when the man contacts me first, it leads to a date. Men want women to contact them? I have and it has never lead to a date ONCE. In person however, it has.
It's very hard to "sell yourself" online... much easier in real life. So, I don't stress the "unread/deletes", or the "read/deletes"... I still think they're not a nice way to treat other people, but obsessing about 'em only raises my blood-pressure.
Arlo | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 4/22/2008 8:34:54 AM | | If you're a hot guy with a decent profile, you'll get tons of initial contacts from women. If you're an average guy with a decent profile, you won't. It isn't that women don't make first contact, it's that most have to be really interested to do so. Women I know have initially approached a total of 4-8 men in their lifetime. That's nothing compared to the average guy. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 4/22/2008 8:45:20 AM | Hah.
Most of the emails I send (and none of them are to stereotypical pretty-boys with six packs who look like they take longer to get ready in the morning than I do) receive no answer.
Most of the emails I GET are either one worders, from perverts, or from men who sound like they dropped out of school in the third grade.
It's not that great for some of us either. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 4/22/2008 8:50:54 AM | If you're a hot guy with a decent profile, you'll get tons of initial contacts from women. If you're an average guy with a decent profile, you won't. It isn't that women don't make first contact, it's that most have to be really interested to do so. Women I know have initially approached a total of 4-8 men in their lifetime. That's nothing compared to the average guy.
Ironically, a common complaint stated by many women is that men only go after the hot women especially when he is average looking. I think that women are just as gulity of doing this. When an average looking man does email a bunch of average looking women, he usually gets very few positive responses. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 4/22/2008 8:51:38 AM | | All sites are differant. On e harmony I cannot keep up with all the responses I get. I was on match and recieved one or two responeses. Ironically the one I did recieve was worth all the frustration. I am new here and have not e mailed anyone because I have not done a good job with my profile. It sucks and I know I was in a hurry and just scribbled something down. These places mirror real life IMHO, sometimes you get on a hot streak then you go cold awhile. A good pic and a profile with depth and some humor will work . If you can make a woman laugh and appeal to them in a visual sense then I think you have a good shot at at least establishing to write back and forth. I have never been one to label all woman as acting in one certain way towards men. They are all differant and we certainly demand a lot from them when we catch them. | |
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| Hakunah mattatta.
Posted: 4/22/2008 9:19:59 AM | I concur with you on the read/deletes Arlo. My beef is more about the ensuing emails but that's another thread!
It's just interesting that so far men contacting me works out better.... | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 4/22/2008 4:23:50 PM | | I don't know if I agree with that because all my meetings (which haven't been a lot)have been with women who emailed me first. All the women were very attractive by the usual standards (but beauty is in the eye of the beholder) and I don't think I'm any better than average. Now getting someone to email you who's also mentally compatible and attractive on the inside is usually the tricky part. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 4/22/2008 4:42:06 PM | | its best to just treat these sites as fun I think, the real skill is in meeting women in real life of course, you see thats where all the important stuff like nonverbals and subcommunication, bodylanguage and general vibe come into it - this is the stuff that attracts women. One of the reasons it's more difficult to meet women online. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 4/22/2008 11:10:48 PM |
Most of the emails I send (and none of them are to stereotypical pretty-boys with six packs who look like they take longer to get ready in the morning than I do) receive no answer.
Most of the emails I GET are either one worders, from perverts, or from men who sound like they dropped out of school in the third grade.
It's not that great for some of us either.
Going on the assumption that you do indeed receive emails - I do have my doubts - has it ever occurred to you that some of those you do receive may have been written by men who were put off just a wee bit by your somewhat negative profile with its list of "I do not likes" and your over emphasis of being a nerd? For any guy who might be even a wee bit interested in you, your profile leaves him little room for response. You also brag about being really smart and again many men are afraid of very smart women. You are a contradiction claiming that you do not like violence yet you would react like Naomi Campbell - personally I could care less for this **** - and toss your cell phone at someone. So you can amuse yourself with magic markers? Very intelligent. And your first date response "I'm not the woman for you, so it doesn't matter." What is that supposed to mean? Mean is right. You do come off as a mean person. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 4/22/2008 11:27:41 PM | | Lol I totally agree me and my best friend and his girlfriend were just talking about this the other day. I said "girls are like vending machines, everyone comes to THEM". It's true though, women ONLY have to reject all the guys that come up to them. Eventually the right guy is going to come to them, I've personally seen the internet inflate ppl's egos becuz i've gone out with ppl in real life who werent even cute on the internet, but online they are very conceited and its just weird. U get them in person and they're timid, im such a respectful person though, I wouldnt disrespect someone just becuz they werent attractive, I wouldnt want it done to me. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 4/23/2008 10:03:41 AM | | I love how someone can say that the ration of men to women is so much lower and therefore men get a bum steer on a dating website. How many people are you wanting to have in your relationship, anyway? I thought a relationship was about TWO??? And there are TONS of people on this site, and yet cannot make a connection. It only takes two, but that does not mean you will find that other match to you, regardless of the numbers. You can be swimming in men and still not come across one who has that fit. So try it from the women's perspective, it is no DIFFERENT, boys! | |
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