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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/2/2008 5:35:25 PM | | This is true, everyone is looking for someone that is good looking. They don't care if you are an honest, committed, hard working, and friendly person. I have sent out a lot of emails and the only time I received a response was when I questioned the ladie’s reason for posting her profile. You could totally see from reading her profile that she was looking for a rich guy and I referred to her as a "Gold Digger". That got me the only response from all the emails...she was blinded and couldn't see it for herself. These women have set rules about communicating with them because they can, and we are the dumb guys that keep this system alive. I think there should be a dating website without pictures that won't even allow you to describe yourself physically or say how much you make or your profession. It should be a meeting of the minds and not a meeting of the groins. Finally, my last problem is with women that write without capitalizing the first letter in their sentences. This is extremely annoying and easy to fix...PLEASE DEPRESS THE "SHIFT" KEY AT THE BEGINNING OF EACH SENTENCE. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/2/2008 6:01:57 PM | I don't know about your claim that women have a urgent desire for finances... but your ridiculous demand to depress the shift key makes me think you a bit anal.
Lighten up. err.... should I say
lighten up. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/2/2008 7:08:38 PM | The only real way for a guy to approach this is to be very selective about who you choose to email. That shouldn't just be the most attractive women, by society standards, it should be someone that catches your interest on several levels, as if you were reading personality etc. right from their pictures or profile. You may be able to find 50-60/5000 doing it that way.
Chase those, if it works great, if not so what. All the other profile you should just simply ignore. Without that strong of an initial attraction you are unlikely to have much success, far too random, wouldn't be able to keep the interest level high enough to get thru to the first meeting, email would stop. If you want to do random, just go outside.
Now off course, the keener among you would have noticed that women face the same problem ... 100-120/10000 ... so the odds of a hit are pretty slim anyway.
Certainly not that much motivation to get in line, is it? So most men, some women are interested in, simply don't get in line.
If you're just looking for casual, he/she will do for now stuff, this site should work OK, for most people, I guess. But really, you could just go outside for that, why waste time on the net. (my job involves computers, so I'm here anyway)
It is, what it is. I'm fine with it. It works, if you put in the effort, but it is a fair amount of effort compared to real world reality. Most men bail in 4-8wks of being here, that's true for all online dating stuff. I am certain there are a lot of "dead" profiles just sitting here that do nothing other than wait. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/2/2008 7:27:13 PM |
Yeah, I got blown off by a 44 year old woman (I'm mid 30's) because "I think we have spoken before, and I'm sorry I don't think we're a good match, good luck in your search!"
Is there something wrong with a woman 10 years older than you deciding you're not the right person for her? Should she be so grateful that someone 10 years younger than her was interested, regardless of whether or not she felt like you were a good match. I think it was nice that she took the time to respond and you should be grateful she didn't waste your time if she wasn't interested. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/2/2008 8:22:51 PM | The only real way for a guy to approach this is to be very selective about who you choose to email. That shouldn't just be the most attractive women, by society standards, it should be someone that catches your interest on several levels, as if you were reading personality etc. right from their pictures or profile. You may be able to find 50-60/5000 doing it that way.
Well, duh.
By default, most guys DO write only to the people who interest them. Simple logic dictates that if you write to someone, you are, by definition, showing interest.
But, I suspect that you're advising men to be more selective, and only send out a few emails. I'm down wit' dat. Thing is, the "fewer emails" approach is in NO WAY guaranteed to garner any more responses. You'll simply have fewer messages in your "sent" folder; just as many "read/deletes" as before.
Better not to become emotionally invested in the outcome. If it happens, it happens. Read/delete? Meh... next.
Arlo | |
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jcolsa
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Joined: 12/20/2007
Msg: 1457 | |
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/2/2008 9:27:17 PM | Well I think if you a max email send limit for guys and max email limit for woman to receive it could work. There needs to be some sort of control. Its just too much really..
for example and really I think this fair
for men
2 new womam sent email limit per day no limit for received
for women
a maximum of 6 new man received email for woman unlimited new email sent to men
with the follow requirement you must respond with an approval or disapproval to clear the queue. once the queue reaches six she is no longer visable except to the 6 and anyone you intiate contact with She must either by way of autogenerated email approve or reject your email. if rejected you become invisible and non searchable to him. you can reject also at anytime even if you approved first.
men of course would have the right to reject also
I hope this makes sense..
I think it will keep women from being overwhelmed and does force there hand at some point.. If you have 6 new guys at day filling up your queue yah i think you can afford to reject a few.
and for the guys no more paste click send.. It does force you to make a choice and with a 2 email send limit and 6 email recieve limit for women..
Women who are not getting as many emails will also get the chance to meet someone
] | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/3/2008 3:04:38 AM | | Hi sweetie I think this is a bit of a generalisation but I will go with that……if a woman puts “sexy pictures” on there profile they are going to get replies from certain types of men and we do not always want that. I do think it depends on the type of girl you are looking for. Please do not thing it is easy for us girls because it is not if it were we would not be here. Good luck with your search. I hope you find happiness. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/3/2008 3:50:19 AM | Is there something wrong with a woman 10 years older than you deciding you're not the right person for her? Should she be so grateful that someone 10 years younger than her was interested, regardless of whether or not she felt like you were a good match. I think it was nice that she took the time to respond and you should be grateful she didn't waste your time if she wasn't interested.
Yeah, I appreciate her politeness, however, the same denominator still applies "Internet dating sucks for me, is great for women". 
I'm sure the 99% of the women who delete emails are thinking the same thing this woman did.
See, I'm not all that picky when it comes to looks...I'm one of the rare few actually. It doesn't take much for me to be physically attracted to a woman. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/3/2008 5:16:52 AM |
What if we men decided not to date or procreate or marry for a few years. That might cause some of these women to look at what they can realistically get.
Won't affect me, I don't need marriage to have commitment - I've seen both sides work well. I've decided not to have my own children, may consider adoption or foster.
Besides, the procreation thing is biological. Part of the reason we search for a mate is in the procreation. It can also affect our choice of mate. I'm not saying it's the only factor, but it's a biggie. Despite all our differences and our commonalities, we will continue to want and need each other.
Can we all just relax and have some fun now? tee hee... | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/3/2008 5:18:41 AM | One of the posters indicates he emails women to tell them that they are gold diggers, I am sure that wins you point with those ladies. They know what they are and they don't need your imput on the subject. I am sure the replies were not endearing.
It get's nasty on both sides, I recently sent an email to a local man and invited him to our singles dances. He said he did not dance and had never had the opportunity to learn. I replied it was not a problem, that we had free lesson at the dances and there were lots of lovely ladies there that would be glad to help him learn. I received what I thought was the ugliest email I have ever received.
Another email from a man 31 years younger than me, I replied thanks but I have sons your age. His response, you HAVE to give me a chance. My reply....no, I don't. Another reply to what I thought was a witty email--you are probably one of the ugliest women that I have ever seen. Glad I saw the 'real' him by wasting only 'virtual' time.
There are a lot of bottom feeders in both sexes on here, on other sites and in the 'real' world. You just have to wade through the muck.  | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/3/2008 7:54:50 AM | RJ4UNOW:
>>PLEASE DEPRESS THE "SHIFT" KEY AT THE BEGINNING OF EACH SENTENCE.
I know this is off topic, but it really bugs me when local TV newscasters bob their heads at the end of each sentence or make annoying hand gestures. I've taken a speech clas so I know you're supposed to make some gestures so you don't look too stiff, but these local news anchors make such contrived and irritating gestures. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/3/2008 8:13:51 AM | you are so wrong . If as you say you have a good photo good looking and are a good catch the chances are the women feel exactly the same as you . They think you are probably so inundated with glamourous women that there is no point in contacting you so like you they hold back . All i can say is just keep at it you will be surprised how flattered a woman will be if you are genuinely intersted and make a bit of effort.
Angela | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/3/2008 8:20:51 AM | What if we men decided not to date or procreate or marry for a few years. That might cause some of these women to look at what they can realistically get.
I've got news for you. A lot of men HAVE. How else do you account for all of these guys in their late 20s who suddenly wake up and realize they are single, never married and with no kids. All of a sudden it means that they MUST marry a much younger women. Hence the shortage of partners for women over 35. That is why many women are "settling" with DISASTROUS results.
Any other brilliant ideas? | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/3/2008 8:23:39 AM | | Don't give up we are not all superficial. I would take a guy with brains and compassion over any guy that is a conceited hunk. Really what does a guy with no brains have to offer a woman when they are both old and grey? | |
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| Internet dating: ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS!
Posted: 5/3/2008 9:37:05 AM | Skepticallady... I think your comment about harleys and dogs was unfair.It is a great if a guy puts a picture of his dog or harley on his profile. I fortunately like to ride and love big slobbery dogs,but some women are terrified of dogs and motorcycles.Men love their harleys and their dogs,so when a guy puts a picture of both on their profile it is a way of letting us gals know they have both. I think of it as a heads up,think about it, it would suck if you were interested in a guy and had chemistry only to find out later that he rides, has a dog and you have a wicked allergy to dogs or you have no interest or terrified of being on a motorcycle,only to find out that he almost lives on his harley.
In part of your post you mention being"considerate and respectful" then to dis guys with bikes etc. So I ask you,Skepticallady ,some women on here that have pictures on their profiles showing alot of skin are they not saying "looky here what I got"?
Well that was my beef for the day...lol. I hope everybody has an awesome weekend especially you guys with harleys..... | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/3/2008 10:16:07 AM |
Yeah, I appreciate her politeness, however, the same denominator still applies "Internet dating sucks for me, is great for women".
So there's the REAL problem....it sucks for YOU. My stance on this topic has always been and is still the same. Whether it sucks or not is not dependant on your gender. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/3/2008 11:06:32 AM |
So there's the REAL problem....it sucks for YOU. My stance on this topic has always been and is still the same. Whether it sucks or not is not dependant on your gender.
Okay, so why are there more perks given to women on some dating sites than men? Why are there a "ladies night" at bars where women get in for free?
If bars didn't have ladies night, it'd be a sausage party
Because women are HIGH In demand by the men who pursue them. | |
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| Meeting the laundry list
Posted: 5/3/2008 1:36:31 PM | Generally, the list is something like this:
-Outgoing
-Intelligent
-Spontaneous
-Ambitious
-Tall
-Attractive
- A few extras tossed in there for giggles such as "must like dogs."
I actually meet all of those requirements - with flying colors, for that matter (except for the occasional extra). I'm definitely an above-average catch, but I have my problems - none of which are apparent on paper. As such, I generally, I have a decent response rate when I send a message, but I'm always left with a feeling of confusion when I'm not.
There are some that I wouldn't get along with (at least not in a dating environment). I know that. Christians, prudes, and unintelligent women number among them - but I don't message them to begin with.
What tends to confuse me is that though I tend to receive around two "damn I wish I were younger so I could date you for ever and ever" messages per week, I still get turned down just less than half the time. So, while I look good when moved to textual/picture formats, I'm still barely making the cut.
Anyway, this is just a long roundabout way of saying: it probably doesn't have anything to do with the laundry list. It's been a long time since I've sent a message to a woman whose laundry list I didn't meet, but success is still a shot in the dark.
There's some other factor here that you're not considering. Honestly, I don't care so much what it is, but it's worth finding out if it is directly influencing your dating. | |
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| Meeting the laundry list
Posted: 5/3/2008 3:31:06 PM | | Internet dating is easier for women because of the uneven gender ratio. However, once more women find out that all the single men are looking for a woman online nowadays this should change. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/3/2008 3:54:37 PM | figure your self lucky none have ansewered yor add . most of the ones that ansewered my add i would give up sex before i,d lay with them . some looked good some seamed nice but the one thing they had in common was ,they were nasty . i hope the stud in the gyms enjoy them because i guess i,m a little to chosey .
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