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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/5/2008 12:25:42 PM |
I find that some men are not good conversationalists, they have to call you, see you, know you, before they are able to convey some substance; they often overreact.
Hello! You have to put more in your profile than one distant pic in sunglasses (hey women are visual too and its only fair). Then write:"I'm a laid back guy who wants a good woman who can look good in jeans or great in a dress. I don't want any drama (who doesn't have drama? Why are movies so popular? Because there's no drama?).
I'm an open book so if you have any questions just ask."
When 20 people email us and we get someone who gives us more about who they are then we generally are going to expect that they are willing to try harder. Sometimes it seems men just put poor bait on the hook and expect to real in a big mouth bass. Enough of you are fisherman. How do you catch the big ones? You work at it. You choose a good bait. Or maybe you're good at fly fishing. But its rare that you go out with a bamboo pole and worm and catch a monster. (It happened to me once and no one was there to see it. But I sure wasn't expecting it. Get the point?) | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/5/2008 1:00:40 PM |
I turn plenty of heads myself. But when someone here meets me it seems the reality of my situation sinks in. (see profile). If I don't tell them they line up at the door. But honesty is part of real relationship and love. So if they can't handle it so be it. People create their own concept of you, which you then have to essential combat when you do meet. That's why I take my time. And men get pissed, saying I'm wasting their time. Actually I'm saving us both some wasted time.
What a great comment - I am so in line with it! What some people don't realize is what some people are going through "behind the scenes".
That said, I do prefer 2 or 3 "good emails" and then meeting. Problem is most men don't understand what "good emails" mean. Most want to skip right to MSN but they cannot even do well on MSN.
I can expect what I can offer. I offer questions and interest and when a man cannot return that, my interest meter goes way down. If one cannot be an active participant in being interested, well I am not going to do all the work - it takes two to tango! It makes me think that their lack of effort will continue in real life. I'm not talking initial emails, I'm talking 2-5 emails down the line where I still have to carry everything and make conversation. The fact that I responded to your email without saying No thank you means I am 1st level interested. Why is this such a difficult concept for some people to understand? I say people because I know women are guilty of this also.
If you are interested - be interested! | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/5/2008 1:08:25 PM | Oh for pete's sake waaaaaaaah. If it is so bad then shut up and leave already. The fewer of you whiney wimps the better the fishing will be. I figure I'm a 4 to 6 in rating and not all gals/guys are looking for a 4, 5, or 6. So what somebody is and this still gives the greatest probability of finding a gal who views me as her 10. Nobody is gonna want to hook up with some bad attitude! We all get enough of that already.
Sheeesh grow up boy. Be a man. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/5/2008 1:23:42 PM | If guys wrote more interesting and deeper profiles, maybe they would get more replies.
Not necessary. A man could have a good profile and sent out a lot of well written emails and still get very few replies.
It is not an ego boost to have 2 pages worth of email who are poor matches for me in every way, shape and form.
Maybe it's not an ego boost for you, but I think it is an ego boost for other women. I would rather receive a bunch of emails than very few emails. If a woman receives emails from 20-25 men a week and she isn't interested in any of these men, then IMO she is too picky. I would highly doubt that every single man who emails a woman is clearly not a match for her. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/5/2008 1:30:27 PM | ok, then pump up your muscles and train at the Gym. If you don't have the mind, at least you got to have the body.
What do you expect us to say? Poor you?
It depends on how you use the system....
it's not that for women is all a bunch of roses 
meaning, as for everything, it depends on your attitude a lot.
And Why for Heaven's Sake, do you need to receive many messages? Better a good one then 20 dephtless. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/5/2008 1:35:40 PM | I honestly don't even bother trying to contact women on here. It's completely pointless. If they want to contact me then great. Sending a complete stranger(woman) a message out of the blue just doesn't seem to work. It's kind of like walking up to a woman at the bar and saying "hi there .. " and following up with details of your life. Like thats going to work. Sure I suppose it does sometimes but often your just another guy.
While I agree with the OP with regards to woman having the dating scene working in their advantage online just like in the real world. It's no different. I don't come on here and expect to just hook up with someone easily. I come on here check mail sometimes read the forums(well have been lately) take a look at matches etc. My expectations are lower so I don't get disapointed easily. Expectations are lower with regards to success.. not the women that I do speak with however I don't have low standards so I live with that.
On here I don't expect anything in terms of actually meeting someone and I let the woman make the initial contact generally. I sure don't get a lot of email.. lol. But w/e its a free online dating site. I expect I'd have more success in meeting a woman in my not online life. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/5/2008 1:37:13 PM | ok, then pump up your muscles and train at the Gym.
What do you expect us to say?
Poor you?
I don't expect a woman to say that. My point is that I think it is wrong for women to ASSume that a man is doing something "wrong" if he gets very few responses to his emails. Anytime there is thread about this topic, many women will say things like "men have a generic profile", "men send out poor emails", " men are only emailing the hot women" etc even though these things are not always true.
And Why for Heaven's Sake, do you need to receive many messages? Better a good one then 20 dephtless.
More messages usually increase your chances of getting an good email. If a person receives very few email messages, then the chances of getting a good email are fairly low. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/5/2008 1:46:30 PM | online dating for women can be summed up in just a few words: the odds are good, but the goods are odd. that said, I'll throw my 2 cents in, and this is just my opinion, but formed from chatting with close friends, both male and female about our experiences...
women have the advantage, guys will pursue and blast emails left and right, and it can be overwhelming for an attractive woman. this, at times, and not every woman by any means, gives them a very skewed perspective, it allows them to be picky beyond any grasp on reality... one friend of mine told me she would delete emails from guys that had the word "lady' in his profile... its just nutso...
most of my experiences are sending fairly well written emails to women I think I have something in common with, making references to interests they mention in their profile. my return rate over the years? maybe 1 reply for every 100 emails sent. I don't worry about it much. my profile must suck, or my pictures are horrid, who knows. but I know my own value and have pretty much decided I'm just not very good at this online. so for me it is kind of for entertainment value only... | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/5/2008 3:01:00 PM | I agree, THIS INTERNET DATING THING SUCKS!!!!
and, i think its pretty equal for both men and women.
I think people worry too much about photos to guide them in meeting someone they are compatible with.
Some of my longest and best relationships were with guys who really werent even my type......and i have to remember that when im looking at someones profile. My profile says exactly what i am looking for , but i think most men dont even read it , they look at my pics, and a quick glance through the 'important ' stuff..... | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/5/2008 3:38:21 PM | | I think a lot depends on where one lives and their age. There are so many women my age, and so many men my age, but many of the men are looking for younger women. When I was 3-40 I was interesting to men since I had not been married, then at 40 it seemed to change to "What is wrong with you?" It all seems to be a crap shoot and some days we all get tired of all the crap.... | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/5/2008 3:43:54 PM | | Women don't realy want to meet men on this site, they just want to talk about it. My laptop is about the only thing that I have dated off of this site and it refuses to be intimate with me. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/5/2008 3:53:42 PM | | your 100% correct.but the women will pay the ultimate price as she will never meet her mate.why?how can she?she will never have time being on the internet,being on msn messenger after with these guys,going on countless dates.it will be impossible for her to choose.and being on msn or p.o.f,you will catch on soon she is chatting with other guys cause of the long delay for a response to her when your chatting live.ever hear the excuses like:oh,telephone,...someones at the door..ah..hold on.yeah right.im not stupid.been there,seen it all | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/5/2008 4:12:32 PM | You all do realize that the OP started this thread about 3 years ago, right? Lol
I think we all know that women receive more messages than men........and like they say, its not exactly a good thing with all of the pervs and idiot males on here.
Guys are the same way when it comes to read/deleting guys' messages if they arent their type physically, or if the profile just plain sucks. I know I'm not the greatest thing on the earth, but I still read/delete messages if I know for a fact I couldnt be physically attracted to the person. If their mail has substance to it and actually shows interest (rather than the usual, "Hey whats up" crap), I'll write her back and "reject" her as politely as possible.
I myself dont send out many emails because I dont enjoy being blown off for the very reason the OP named.
All in all, I suppose I would rather get a bunch of emails (because not all of the messages you're going to get are bad) like a female than have it the way guys do. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/5/2008 7:37:55 PM | | I wasnt going to search through the 61 pages to see if this was alrady mentioned, but it seems to me, thaif a lady is getting tons of undesirable emails, even from a good looking guy, when one comes along and treats her like a lady and has a decent profile I would think it would stand out a little bit and at least be due the courtesy of a reply of sorts. Now I know I'm but- ugly, and I'm ok with it, I really am, but I know damn well I know how to treat a lady like a lady and do it well, because it is genuinely how I feel and was raised. I have not had ONE initiate contact, I have sent out almost 50 emaisl and have recieved probably 6 replies, one who I am now friends with and one who is a casual quick chat if I catch her online in time. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/5/2008 7:44:34 PM |
I think people worry too much about photos to guide them in meeting someone they are compatible with.
I agree. I think many people too much emphasis on photos. I wouldn't reject a man because he has a mediocre photo of himself or because he isn't exactly my ideal physical type. A photo can give a basic idea of what a person looks like. But you can't always tell how attractive a person is from their photos. Most people don't exactly look like their photos. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/5/2008 7:51:30 PM | | Not all, but the vast majority of women on these sites are quite shallow. Remember, they are single for a reason, and SOMEONE has already rejected them and their shallowness. So don't take their shallowness and their issues to heart. Just have faith that you WILL find the preverbial needle in a haystack....and you WILL. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/5/2008 8:52:14 PM | American men, get the f* out of the United States ! go and live in Europe or Japan for some time, American men are in demand there by the women, and the women are beauuuuuuuutiful !
Don't even bother with this internet feces. This is like you're beating each other for crumbs. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/5/2008 11:43:05 PM |
caesar08 wrote: American men, get the f* out of the United States ! go and live in Europe or Japan for some time, American men are in demand there by the women, and the women are beauuuuuuuutiful !
Don't even bother with this internet feces. This is like you're beating each other for crumbs.
I agree! nomarriage[dot]com. Countries and regions to add to that list would be Latin America, Eastern Europe, and the Philippines. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/6/2008 10:38:52 AM | But when we tell you !!, what an ego this guy has !!!! Sales pitch is right !!, but what and, the response to the sales pitch half the time is sleazy!! .Women don't have it easy either sometimes, the responces they get, but try being a guy who is no brad pitt or keanu reaves. The truth is women have the field most of the time,maybe not all.
This is no sob story... but experiences in this case anyway, i dance not drink.
Asking for a simple dance....WHOA !! Yes women have to be carefull, but not down right RUDE!! I drink Water and ask politely. On the net it,s body. Me it,s sensuallity
plain and simple, and no it is not the hourgass !!!  | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/6/2008 6:40:51 PM | OP,
I agree with you. I consider myself a fairly good looking guy and get looks in the clubs all the time. However on here, I send 10 emails a day and maybe one will respond. And when I respond back to her, that's the last I'll ever hear from her.
As an experiment, I even tried emailing the overweight girls (normally I only email Thin, Athletic, or Average), and didn't receive many responses at all.
Last week, I made a post entitled "Guys - what are your chances on POF" but it got deleted. My calculations showed that there's a 5:1 ratio of guys to girls and that the average white male has a 25% chance of even receiving a response from a girl. The number is even lower for Asian men, at 19%.
I think the way I'm going to go is speed dating - because to me that signifies women who are willing to pay the 30 dollars or so it takes to be matched up. Much better than me wasting my time on internet dating sites. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/6/2008 6:42:54 PM |
OH yeah this is a real party for me. It is not an ego boost to have 2 pages worth of email who are poor matches for me in every way, shape and form.
Filters are your friend!
Arlo  | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/6/2008 7:49:31 PM | | Believe me guys, women have the same problems that you do. These are blind dates after all. Being over 50 it just gets worse. Usually one of us is really disappointed whereas 25 years ago we would have been all over each other, in the car, on top of the car, in the mud, etc. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/6/2008 10:41:02 PM | | Being overweight has nothing to do with a woman responding or not. That is like me saying "I even emailed the men who did not have graduate degreses, they did not respond to my emails either, I usually only like men who have graduate degrees but thought that I would lower my standards since men with no college degree or who have bachelor degrees are some sort of sub standard men and should be glad that they even get emails" How rude of one to have those thoughts about people who are not "average" in one way or another be it weight or education. | |
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