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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/8/2008 12:10:17 PM | | If a woman or man rejects someone, they have their reasons. I don't see the internet working out any better for women. It's a crap shoot. If you meet the right one, lady luck was on your side. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/8/2008 2:03:14 PM |
Actually, it's all in the pic...... I have proven it.
Women also judge men by their pics. A lot of women won't talk to a guy who doesn't have a pic and the only thing that helped me to get more mail was putting up better quality photos. It didn't matter how much I worked on my written profile. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/8/2008 6:56:36 PM | Good lord, An0ther one of those threads. Hello Wild Heart.
Listen people, If everybody spent as much effort in trying to talk to each other when someone messages them as the do griping about not getting messaged and stop all this read/delete/ ignore this would be one awesome site. When i first came to this site i thought this would be great because when you have a bunch of men and women together surely you will find a connection. Boy was i wrong. At first i thought the women on here was a bunch of posers that were just here for there egos. Then i got to noticing something else. The men are just as bad. In other words everybody is ignoring everybody. I can't tell you how many threads i have read where women are getting the read/delete/ignore. It seems to me that the more i hang around this place the more i find out. To read these threads it seems we are all ignoring each other. Then you have the ones that want to call the kettle black. They grip about being ignored but when someone messages them they turn around and do the same thing to that person that they are griping about happening to them. The best i can tell this site isn't working for much of anyone. But it's not the sites fault. It's ours. I don't know what it is, Whether it's the people are to damn picky or if they just look at a picture and think by that there not attracted or what. All i know is if people don't start giving people a chance to find out who they are and what they are instead of read/delete/ ignore there are going to be more and more threads like this that really doesn't get anyone anywhere. One more thing i can't help but wonder. What makes a man or woman, Either one think that when they look at a picture if there not attracted to that person right then then they never will be? I think we should all look deeper than a picture. Just for the record, I look better in person than i do in a picture. Some people just don't take good pictures. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/8/2008 7:03:30 PM |
It is deplorable how much it sucks for guys ...
I'd reserve the word "deplorable" for a situation which truly warrants it. The state of men on dating sites? Slightly unfavorable. Perhaps even a smidgen unfair based on logistics. But ... deplorable????? | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/8/2008 7:21:51 PM | sorry guys , I totally disagree.. I think it takes work for both sexes... sure the girls that put it out there get a lot of hits but what kind of hits... sure we look at the photos... so do guys... women probably read more of the profile than most men do. I always reply in a very curteous way but I don't get flooded with emails , maybe because I'm not half naked in my photos.. I get a kick out of the girls that show it all (almost) but want a serious relationship and want to be taken seriously... are you kidding me????
so yes , this takes work on both sides but maybe you might be looking at the wrong kind of women and yes a decent photo or photos would help.. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/8/2008 11:41:57 PM | Ive been doing this a long time...a lot longer than just on this site. And, in general, I do agree that its far easier for a woman to meet someone on here than it is for men. All a female has to do is post a couple of pretty pictures, show some moderate intelligence in her profile, and she's going to be flooded with emails.
Many women are arguing that the email they get arent quality, and that might be true. But your odds are still dramatically higher that at least a few of those emails are going to be quality ones when youre getting 10-15 a week...as opposed to the average man who is lucky to get 1-2 unsolicited emails a month!
Id trade places with the women on here any day. They truly are the gatekeepers of internet dating!! | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/9/2008 12:03:34 AM | Internet dating is like anything else in life; it is what you make of it.
You can get upset at the conduct of others who don't act as you think they should. Or you can just accept certain realities and move on. Like it or not no matter how much we dislike or complain about something, it's not going to change. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/9/2008 5:51:03 AM |
Remember, they are single for a reason, and SOMEONE has already rejected them and their shallowness.
You know....we're not all single because someone has rejected US. Sometimes we have CHOSEN to get out of previous relationships for OUR reasons..... | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/9/2008 6:04:40 AM | It does suck for women sometimes. I've had a lot of positive mails and dates sure, but I've also spoken to men who say they want to meet with me, some even suggest an evening and then they disppear and I don't hear from them again! It does happen on both sides of the fence so don't feel so bad. And I do hear that a lot of men have your experience too. It doesn't make it any easier of course but isn't that the nature of the beast whether a man is online dating or not? It's always been that men do the chasing and women do the taking or not. I'm not saying its fair but that is the way it usually is.
Better luck in the future. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/9/2008 8:25:09 AM | | I find many many people are this site are wholly unrealistic about their "standards" for dating. It's their right to believe and act as they wish in that regard but usually, and sadly so, it is mostly the women I see that really have no clue of what they are doing or how to get what they want. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/9/2008 10:44:37 AM | Women also judge men by their pics. A lot of women won't talk to a guy who doesn't have a pic and the only thing that helped me to get more mail was putting up better quality photos. It didn't matter how much I worked on my written profile.
Yes, the difference is....I've accepted that fact and moved on. Some people will notice both the pic and the profile. Some will notice the pic, but still be nice in person and some are time wasters.
The whole idea of dating is to find out who is for YOU and you have to wade through some muck sometimes.
I won't talk to a guy that doesn't have a pic - why should I? I have a pic. I can expect what I can offer.
All a female has to do is post a couple of pretty pictures, show some moderate intelligence in her profile, and she's going to be flooded with emails.
Not quite. I had other pics of me up before and hadn't received any contacts for almost 6 months and I did the majority of contacting first. I put up a photo of me in leopard print? I got a lot of contacts lol. I could complain about it and say that men are pigs, but where would that get me? Wait wait, maybe I wasn't coming across as moderately intelligent?! lmao. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/9/2008 11:11:45 AM |
I find many many people are this site are wholly unrealistic about their "standards" for dating. It's their right to believe and act as they wish in that regard but usually, and sadly so, it is mostly the women I see that really have no clue of what they are doing or how to get what they want.
I agree with Emerald Tear Drop.  | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/9/2008 11:20:18 AM | | I find it amusing how a man will say that mostly women have no clue as to what they want. Be a woman for a while. Date or at least communicate with men and you will see that in a lot of cases it is no different on the other side of the fence. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/9/2008 11:23:55 AM | | I get a kick out of the gender wars going on. Yeah, women are shallow and looks-oriented whereas men are looking for quality, intellectual girls ;-) People are people are people. Neither gender has a monopoly on despicable or angelic behavior. BTW, any man whose profile even SMACKS of misogyny/frustration with women is not going to get any replies; Any woman with any brains is afraid of hostile dudes. Have a woman read over your profile and give feedback. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/9/2008 11:39:02 AM | | cg879...you said sometimes you can click with a person who is somewhat different tahn your ideal type. Well, if you belive that, maybe you should take off the filter that bans men from contacting you. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/9/2008 11:54:50 AM |
it is mostly the women I see that really have no clue of what they are doing or how to get what they want.
Spoken BY a woman ABOUT women.
I have to say, there are issues concerning women where you CANNOT say, "Well men can be just as bad"
Sorry, but in some situations, that's not true. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/9/2008 2:51:13 PM | I think you would be surprised, actually!
I can only speak for myself, but not everything is in 'getting the looks when out in the real world' and having a good photo of yourself to accompany your profile and your email. Chances are, if you don't have anything compelling to say for yourself, you are not going to get a reply. That is the truth of the internet dating - expressing your personality in written form. And judging by your post, maybe your emails or your profile have not been interesting to any of these 15 women you got in touch with. Which doesn't mean the 16th will be the same.
Women who are intelligent and looking for their equals on here have the same trouble as men. It is not gender exclusive.
In the end, why would you even want to get in touch with a woman who has 'sexy pics' and nothing in her profile? What is exactly your attraction to her? Only physical? Then maybe you should reconsider 'dating' and look for 'intimate encounter'.
I don't mean to be rude, but your post enraged me simply because there are a lot of women on here, looking for a quality men to spend their time with, not email once and then never hear from them again, not chat endlessly, and definitely not for ego-boosting purposes. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/9/2008 3:13:56 PM |
In the end, why would you even want to get in touch with a woman who has 'sexy pics' and nothing in her profile? What is exactly your attraction to her? Only physical? Then maybe you should reconsider 'dating' and look for 'intimate encounter'.
That's what I keep wondering. My profile actually used to have alot more in it than it does now - that didn't change the contacts I got.
As I said, I had the exact same profile 1 month ago, no contacts for a long time. I just changed the picture and bang - a whole bunch of contacts even people who I HAD contacted and they rejected me lol.
That said, there were 2 or 3 contacts that seem quite nice, but again they were attracted by the photo first. While it's doesn't come across as that great, I'm really starting to see it's the reality of it and I really can't put some of these guys in a neat little box and assume things, now can I? I mean even in person alot of times, a guy will approach a woman he finds attractive. I mean, it's not the usual for a guy to approach a woman he doesn't find attractive now is it?!
I've always held the idea that I don't need alot of contacts, I only need one good one. That said, I had been pondering whether quality could come out of quantity. Time will tell.... | |
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| Voted worst profile and smallest head on POF
Posted: 5/9/2008 9:49:14 PM |
lol, "stalkerish" is when I politely say I am not interested and they keep hounding me. That type of behaviour. What I've found is that the men I have contacted with nothing in their profile is that it ends up going nowhere.
O thats what stalkerish is.
Why in the world would the OPs post annoy you. Yes, women are looking for quality; however, us men have to do the chasing just like in the non digital world. So, women get all the mail and decides who is deleted or not. anyway. And we feel what ever we feel haha.
Here is something to kinda show what we mean.
A few months ago I had like 50+ unread deletes. So, I looked at other criteria instead. Cool, I found a woman thats 20 minutes away. Now, I was not at all attracted to her pics (she wasn't attractive to my friends either when i showed the pic) but her profile was funny. Everything in her profile matched mine. I was taller and she was skinnier than me. Can you guess what happened? haha, Unread delete! then I showed my friends and was like this chic deleted me within seconds of sending and i wrote a nice email too. That is what everyone is annoyed about!! and other things mentioned!! So, its not the barbies and the Kens just doing it.
As one person on these forums stated, Everyone is ignoring everyone. haha..
As far as pictures, I don't even notice profiles without pictures. Would you go to a job interview without your resume? I think not!! You are portraying an image of yourself on the net which is black and white. The more info added helps alot. No picture for me comes off shady!! I can understand the private photo for obvious reasons...but non at all shows a lack of confidence to me at least.
To be honest, you can have an awesome profile but if I am not attracted to your photos posted there is nothing you can do. Also, I am realistic when looking at profiles and such. haha, added incase I get bashed wahoo!!
 well back to my birthday bash | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/10/2008 4:16:58 AM | Chances are, if you don't have anything compelling to say for yourself, you are not going to get a reply
Very untrue. You could have a PhD in literature.....and write the most fantastic and compelling thing in an initial email or profile...and still get the "Unread Delete"
Men here used to write such emails, eventually they just keep it all short and sweet so that they don't waste time and cramp their hands typing up compelling emails/profiles.
Sometimes it's to the point where whatever is "written" is irrelevant and people just want to "meet in person" to get to know each other. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/10/2008 4:42:55 AM | yeller, your profile is great, handsome photos, if the gals are not responding---they are not what you are seeking anyway.
We all get the same reaction, I wonder why so many are on there anyway. Just to kill time and waste ours...............it is a free site and a free country..............and so it goes. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/10/2008 6:18:00 AM |
outofthedesert wrote: yeller, your profile is great, handsome photos, if the gals are not responding---they are not what you are seeking anyway.
Yeah, he's got a very good profile. However, I'm sure most of the women looked at his height (5'7", same as mine) and decided to overlook him because he's not the required 5'10" or taller. If he went to a non-Anglophone country he'd probably do a lot better with the women there. | |
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| Voted worst profile and smallest head on POF
Posted: 5/10/2008 6:19:54 AM | us men have to do the chasing just like in the non digital world. So, women get all the mail and decides who is deleted or not.
I have to agree with this statement. However, there are a few women who do seek out a man and contact him and I am one of them (I've been read/deleted and unread/deleted too - most of the time though I get a response, but it's simply to be polite from their end lol), but I would still say that men do most of the chasing. It's hard to change that - is it biology or just the way we were taught?
To be honest, you can have an awesome profile but if I am not attracted to your photos posted there is nothing you can do
And I don't think there's anything wrong with that. Why would I want a guy who doesn't find me attractive to be dating me?
As for height, I actually like guys that are 5'10 or shorter, but yes from most men's experiences on here the majority of women have a height requirement left over from being protected by Daddy most probably. Maybe not in all cases, but I think that might be the reason. | |
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