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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/19/2008 6:39:31 AM | "I changed my pic recently and I've had more "action" on here than I did in the past year. What does that say?"
.... It says your previous pic must've been a COMPLETE train wreck.
Ba duhm chuh! | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/19/2008 7:43:30 AM | lol!
Nope it's simply because this one shows a little more cleavage and is leopard print. I asked some guys who are on this site for input into that and they confirmed it. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/19/2008 8:09:01 AM | | If it's not working....make a change until it does- Women do make contact quite a bit based on what you write.......ok...after they see your pic...and so do we. Try making one compliment and asking one question about there interest that leads into a discussion instead of a long paragraph. I don't have professional photos but it may help some people on here until you can build up a rapport. Just my suggestion....and no reply means not interested...I do it....girls do it...saves time.. and try having fun -smile- | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/19/2008 8:23:05 AM |
unrealistic, maybe. but you cant really say someone sets the bar too high.
Not necessary. If a woman wants a man ( or vice versa ) to have qualities that she doesn't possess, then I think her expectations and are too high and unrealistic.
maybe theyd prefer to be alone if they cant make that hale marry shot at their ideal match.
Sometimes this is true, but not always. There are times when a person complains about not finding a date. Then I would look at their profile and they have a large list of requirements which eliminate most people. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/19/2008 8:29:36 AM | Yeah, I agree. It is possible to set the bar too high. Face it, everyone has flaws and while some folks may fit most requirements, it is unrealistic to expect someone to be a "perfect" fit in every way.
Like, omg, she ate her peas one at a time, there is no way this is going to work!!  | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/19/2008 8:35:11 AM |
(celts123) Not necessary. If a woman wants a man ( or vice versa ) to have qualities that she doesn't possess, then I think her expectations and are too high and unrealistic.
Oh, bull ca-ca. I don't want a woman who has the same qualities that I do. For starters, I'd be pretty freaked if the woman I hooked up with had a penis like I do.  But seriously...
(celts123) Sometimes this is true, but not always. There are times when a person complains about not finding a date. Then I would look at their profile and they have a large list of requirements which eliminate most people.
And so? I never got the memo that said I couldn't "complain" about things, if I had standards. Complaining is healthy, and an essential part of eventually coming to a solution. WALLOWING in misery, and never moving on, is something else entirely.
Arlo | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/19/2008 8:37:05 AM | Girls my age or around it ( 30) are not here to meet anybody because i have actually had girls tell me that guys on here are only after xxx and they all think that guys r jerks there are alot of bitter angry women on here which are only here to get attention and reject people it is a HIGH .
You can't speak for all 30-something women.
No only for the women around my neighborhood . | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/19/2008 8:41:37 AM | what else is funny is that , women always say please don't post pics up with no shirt on or next to your car , well please don't post pics up with half of your chest is showing if u don't want any body to get the wrong idea , i chatted with this women in texas and she had all lame erotic pics with like really i mean really sexy outfit and she was complaining about how guys add her to favorite list just to loo at her pics and she hated it , GO FIGURE .  | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/19/2008 10:47:37 AM | | internet dating should be terrific for the few guys that women go goo-goo over. lots of women are getting some via the internet, but sharing the few men who lie well or just fit into the mold of what women think they want. for these men, a woman will be more apt to not care if the guy has lots of women lined up for it'd be either a challenge or just a planned short-term affair. one gender has the ability to alter this general occurence, but why bother if selfish desires are met once in a while? | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/19/2008 12:14:15 PM | And so? I never got the memo that said I couldn't "complain" about things, if I had standards.
People are entitled to complain all they want. However a person complaining about not being able to find any dates can be a turn off to other people. Especially when that particular person has rejected other people due to nitpicky reasons. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/19/2008 2:00:51 PM | Wild heart (in her hot little leopard number-CUTE!) said:
I've come to the conclusion that the man I seek would not be posting negative posts on here. Most men that post are extremely negative about women on the site in general. Why would I want to date someone like that?!!
Sigh...yeah...it's discouraging to hear how "rotten women are" when I'm not rotten. And it makes me wonder what the heck goes thru some women's heads. But you're right Wild, the one I seek wouldn't post negative rants and hate-mongering posts that "all women are X, Y or Z." It's a clear sign they're not someone I'd enjoy even having coffee with! (And to those who would call me a snobby judgmental jerk for that, I don't care. I call it wisdom, powers of observation, EXPERIENCE and self-respect.)
Wild again said...
As for pictures, well yes women AND men go for the picture - initially. I've proven it time and time again. And guess what?! Instead of bemoaning that fact, I just accept it. Just because someone is attracted by a pic doesn't mean they are a bad person.
No joke. For me, unless a guy likes what he sees in my pic, then I don't want to hear from him. There's got to be that attraction factor. It's a no-brainer. And I accept if I'm not someone's cup of tea. Even if I think he's great. Again...comes back to PERSONAL CHOICE. And I just don't get the wallowing and self-pity from people who post stuff like "oh you are shallow because you don't like me" or "I'm a great person under all these fat" or "you'd like me if you'd look past my looks." Um...hello??? I LIKE YOU WHEN I GET TO KNOW YOU...part of being with someone is that they become more attractive and beautiful the longer you know them, but ONLY if you were intially attracted. But maybe that's just my opinion. Don't have to agree with it. But I'm allowed to feel that way.
It's so mind-boggling to get a nasty and insulting message from someone that hates me for my reply message that says something like "thank you for your kind compliment but I don't think we'd make a good match." Would they rather I say "you are an ugly **stard and you sound like a real jerk, go screw yourself." Ya think that'd be preferred??? Heck no. It's called manners. And when a woman politely turns a guy down she gets a range of responses. I see guys that have class and respect that appreciate a response to their message, and I see guys that get all pissy. I'm sure other women do too. I've seen it here in enough threads.
Wild heart said something I think of often on here:
In person would you try to "pick up" someone you find unattractive? NO YOU WOULD NOT.
Hell no, and I'd like to think that anyone with self-respect wouldn't either. Right? | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/19/2008 2:09:54 PM | No joke. For me, unless a guy likes what he sees in my pic, then I don't want to hear from him. There's got to be that attraction factor. It's a no-brainer. And I accept if I'm not someone's cup of tea. Even if I think he's great. Again...comes back to PERSONAL CHOICE. And I just don't get the wallowing and self-pity from people who post stuff like "oh you are shallow because you don't like me" or "I'm a great person under all these fat" or "you'd like me if you'd look past my looks."
I agree with you to a certain extent. However you can't always determine how attractive a person is from a few photos. Many people can look better ( or worse ) in person that they do in a photo. That's why I wouldn't dismiss a man based on a photo unless there is something about him that is an obvious dealbreaker such as obesity. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/19/2008 4:09:37 PM | Thank you kfromcali lol.
ML - I know what you mean, I too have dated men that I wasn't entirely sure about looks wise and they were attractive in person. But, I can't say that I do that to everyone.
Unfortunately, most of the so-called "hotties" on here are not really that hot personality wise or conversation wise. I'd take an "attractive intelligent eloquent" guy over "nothing to say hot guy" any day.
But like men, there has to be that combo of looks and personality. Just looks ain't gonna cut it and if there's no attraction, that won't cut it either....Then there's similar life outlook and intelligence. Looks don't cement the relationship, they merely prepare the gravel (or some such metaphor lol).
What's good for me is that I'm looking for someone athletic, and my main reason is because I am athletic. That means that the people I look for will look better - I know it makes me look better! I can expect what I can offer. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/21/2008 11:14:08 PM | | I've had a profile on POF on and off for over two years and never had even one person add me to their favotites list! I'm tall good looking and a professional with a good income. I just viewed the first 20 pages of the success stories section. Seemes POF is a great place for overweight fat chicks to snag a man! go figure! | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/21/2008 11:58:27 PM | | Let me just say it isn't working for me either, not just because I haven't been on this site very long. I have been on other sites, and I have had the same luck. Most men want a skinny, physically attractive women to show off. I am not skinny, but I am not gross either. I KNOW I am a beautiful woman, and I can please a man anyway he needs it. I am well educated, love to have a good time, I don't cheat, and I am not out for money. I don't see anyone knocking down my door at the present. It isn't just men I promise. I know everyone has their own qualifications that their partner-to-be has to meet, but think about it.... If you are having trouble finding a good woman on a dating site; are your qualifications too high? Or you just having a bad run of luck? | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/22/2008 3:35:18 AM | Have you given any thought to how much more DANGEROUS it is for us women?We have to be more careful and screen potential mates !Be persistent,sometimes we don't respond because a guy seems too good to be true.And you can't deny that most men are only looking for sex.It is not the same{usually } for us women.As for a good looking woman getting lots of response-we can't help it you guys are so easy and superficial!lol | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/22/2008 4:39:17 AM | | i have to agree with you i did a similiar thing with equal results, and after various experimentation found that the majority of women have expectations that are simply not realistic and very materialistic despite what it may say in their profile, most women on here do DO NOT REPLY TO EMAILS. That is fact. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/22/2008 9:49:53 AM | Most men want a skinny, physically attractive women to show off. I am not skinny, but I am not gross either. I KNOW I am a beautiful woman
Not necessary. Just because a man isn't attracted to you or BBWs in general, it doesn't mean that he only wants skinny women. There are a wide range of body types between BBW and thin. Also some men may not be attracted to because you are a smoker, have kids, and have "Prefer Not to Say" for your marital status.
And you can't deny that most men are only looking for sex
Yes many men are only looking for sex. But you shouldn't generalize and use the word "most". There are also many men who are looking for a serious relationship.
.As for a good looking woman getting lots of response-we can't help it you guys are so easy and superficial!lol
Women in general care about looks just as much as men do. An average looking man could a bunch of average looking women that he has a lot in common with and get very few responses because he doesn't have GQ looks. The only difference is that some women would date an ugly man because he is rich, famous, and/or powerful. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/24/2008 9:21:31 AM | | I don't care about looks so much as I do the personality. Looks fade and u can't live with looks. I give people a chance but even the guys that dont have the GQ looks can be users and that sucks for me I'm in a lose lose. I can't seem to find a good guy looks aside. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/30/2008 5:09:17 PM | You know, I hate it folks but i gotta rant a little. One thing that bugs me sometimes about these forums is the women that post on here saying that they can't find a decent man. We are everywhere. We are all over this website and on just about every street corner, bar, grocery store, just about everywhere you look. What the problem is we get looked over. There are to many people that are looking for the wrong thing to start with. Instead of looking inside the man or woman and trying to find something there to be attracted to they look for chemistry. Sorry people but chemistry is a lier. If you look for that first you will almost always fail. This is the one thing that works the same way for men and women. If you try to look inside the person and find something there first to be attracted to then, chemistry will follow. It took a long time for me to learn this. Lots of failed relationships and one failed marriage. It's not rocket science people. We are here, Good men and women. You just got to look in the right direction.  | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/30/2008 8:33:38 PM | wild heart Said
What's good for me is that I'm looking for someone athletic, and my main reason is because I am athletic. That means that the people I look for will look better - I know it makes me look better! I can expect what I can offer.
Wild heart, What we want and what we need are two different things. What you seem to want here is not a bad thing in and of it's self. I am not trying to put it down. That is the package that you are looking for. But how do you know that what you need is not in that package? My sister is a very small built woman about 5ft tall. At the most she may bust 100lbs. She always dated guys that were slim, 5/10 on up. Her guys were always the type that you would think were going to be business types someday. But the love of her life came in the form of a 6ft/2 245lb red neck. I love the guy, but i would have never thought that she would have even give him a second glance when she started dating him. That's been 24 yrs ago and there still together. They look like before and after but there still together. She was dating what she wanted but found what she needed in a totally different package. I am not putting it down, You may find what you need in the package that you want. And then again? | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/31/2008 2:20:42 PM | What did peole do before internet dating? Were people as picky about who the dated/had relationships with? The internet makes some think that here is an endless supply of people and they will not settle until they have found the perfect person which does not even exist.
I have met a few woman who had a list so long for a guy to meet it would be near impossible for most men to get a second date with her. Some men can be just as bad.
I think we need to be realistic. folks.
Why some women put up a profile n a dating site and expect Mr Right to send her a message wthout doing any work is beyond me. | |
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