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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/31/2008 3:19:32 PM | Red your message and it made me laugh...I am sorry that we could be so cruel sometimes !
You might be right in a way BUT...believe me you have no idea how many really nasty emails girls get...and if you reject someone they can be really really horrible to you !!!
- I am 24 so WHY would any 40-50 years old man contact me !!!! WHY ???
- I clearly state in my profile that I dont want to be contacted by anyone who is looking just for sex !!!! Why would they message me !!!!
Can you give me explanation ....!!!!!!!??????
Can you answer this: .....would you be picky if you receive 50 email/day from girls....????? Or would you just email every single one !!! I doubt it !!!
I would never ignore someone who seems to be nice, respectful !
How can you NOT ignore emails that says :
"I want you "
OR
"I like what I see "
OR
"Hi my name is ......I live in ..... would like to get to know you"
Do you know how many emails like this you get......15-20/day..this is ridiculous !
COMMON .....! this is rubbish can you not say something more.....is that how you start conversation..... !???
Or even better :
"Hey how big is your boobs ?
Why would I answer this..????
So believe me it is NOT always easy for girls either !
I hope you found your half !  | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 5/31/2008 3:31:58 PM | Sometiems you get lucky. And one thing that bothers me is that there are so many unattractive and overweight women on online dating sites and guys go gaga for an average looking girl thinking she;s hot jsut ebcuase she does not look hideous and she gets her ibnbox flooded and can't reply. Lots of competition. Then you get your women whoa re emotionally unavailable and not over the previous relationship. Women who don't know what they want and women who are shallow. They sure are a fickle bunch especially online. I say that both men and women should not be so quick to judge by some crappy picture taken by a cheap webcam and to give love a chance and forget about the past. Live for the now!. And for pete's sake keep the hot dog to the bun ratio even! | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/1/2008 1:49:18 AM | Dilya Said,
Red your message and it made me laugh...I am sorry that we could be so cruel sometimes !
You might be right in a way BUT...believe me you have no idea how many really nasty emails girls get...and if you reject someone they can be really really horrible to you !!!
- I am 24 so WHY would any 40-50 years old man contact me !!!! WHY ???
I looked at your profile and noticed that you do not have a age range set in your preferences. Setting your age range correctly will help with that problem. As far as nasty messages after you reject guys that is a simple fix to. If you reject a guy all you have to do is after you send your rejection message go straight to your blocked list and block him. Leave the block on for a while. He will get the message. It ain't rocket science. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/1/2008 2:22:33 AM | Dilya Said,
How can you NOT ignore emails that says :
"Hi my name is ......I live in ..... would like to get to know you"
Do you know how many emails like this you get......15-20/day..this is ridiculous !
COMMON .....! this is rubbish can you not say something more.....is that how you start conversation..... !???
What do you expect for a man to say to a stranger on the Internet? Sorry, But this is one thing that kinda bugs me with the women on this website. You say you get 15-20 messages a day, Don't worry it will dwindle down. The more men that you turn down for something as petty as this the less men will take you serious. All the guys are trying to do is get a conversation started with you. I don't mean to be mean to you and i am not trying to disrespect you in any way. But, The simple truth is your screwing your own self when you shoot down a guy just because he doesn't jump through a hoop for you right off the bat. With that post you sound like you want a guy that doesn't even know you that has never really seen you in the flesh to say something more than,"Hi my name is ......I live in ..... would like to get to know you" If you wait on that on this site you might be waiting a long time..... From what i read on here men are tired of getting shot down because they either say to little or they say to much. From what i read men have gotten to the point to where they don't know what to say because nothing seems to work. So if your getting 15 to 20 messages a day my best advise is take advantage of it while it's there because it will finally go away. As far as the nasty guys on here go, For that i am on the womens side. We don't need that kind of thing here. Just for the record, I like a lot of other men have written messages that were nice and sweet and pointing out the things i liked in her profile only to get read/delete. Saying more doesn't work, Saying less doesn't work. What's a man to do? | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/1/2008 3:42:02 AM | I have no problem ignoring guys who cannot be bothered to write anything interesting in their emails/profiles.
I've had around 200 emails in the month I've been on here. Most of them go along the lines of "Hey nice pic, lets meet up" or "Hey sexi wanna chat"
How do you reply to someone who isn't willing to make an effort?
The answer is....Don't. I've had about 2 guys email me who I replied to.
They got a reply because they posted a pic where they weren't topless,
had something interesting to say in their profiles. They wrote something
interesting in their emails that weren't generic copy and paste, and actually
bothered to ask me some questions.
For the guys who complain because they hardly get any replies, don't worry about it. Think about what you're writing in your profiles and emails, and ask yourself. "Would I reply if someone sent this to me?"
I don't know what's worse. 3 emails a month from peeps who have something worth replying to. Or having to search through 200 "hey wanna chat?" emails to find the decent guys who are worth a reply. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/1/2008 4:43:40 AM | Hi COMPACTDISC
I never said all guys send hi messages. only 198 out of 200 so far.
And the two who made a bit of effort to say hello properly got a reply from me.
I don't have time to email 200 guys a month who can only say, "hi wanna chat?" etc.
If a guy cannot be bothered to put an effort into meeting someone on here, then I seriously doubt they'll be putting much effort into a relationship either.
If I email a guy first I always write at least a paragraph, and ask a few questions that are relevent to their profile. So if I can make an effort to do that, then why can't 98% of the guys who email me do it? It's not hard to do and only take 5 mins.
When it comes to who I choose to date depends on how much effort they put into their profile/emails. If they're a decent person, and if we have simalar intrests and goals in life. I never judge on how attractive someone is, as inner beauty and being a nice person is far more important. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/1/2008 4:47:27 AM | But, The simple truth is your screwing your own self when you shoot down a guy just because he doesn't jump through a hoop for you right off the bat.
"Hi my name is ......I live in ..... would like to get to know you"
Do you know how many emails like this you get......15-20/day..this is ridiculous !
COMMON .....! this is rubbish can you not say something more.....is that how you start conversation..... !???
Ummmm......Yeah...actually, that' show anyone starts a normal conversation......well...on THIS planet (Earth), lol!
Come on, where have you been lately? lol
The internet makes some think that here is an endless supply of people and they will not settle until they have found the perfect person which does not even exist.
Actually there IS a limited amount....that is, geographically....lol If you've been internet dating as long enough, you'll come to realize that within, say a 50 mile radius of your search criteria, that you've emailed pretty much every single woman in your area and guess what...they've all rejected you, and guess what else? They are STILL actively seeking....at that point I wonder if those single women realized they've reached the end of line? LOL
Of course, a couple of new guys might trickle in and email her once in a while.
For the guys who complain because they hardly get any replies, don't worry about it. Think about what you're writing in your profiles and emails, and ask yourself. "Would I reply if someone sent this to me?"
I have written in my emails and profile what need be said, I believe it's good enough (yes still not good enough for the people I email). this isn't like American Idol where we all have to impress Simon. LOL! | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/1/2008 8:21:17 AM | Internet dating is great!!! K I'm lying
Anyways, I used to be too hesitate when approaching girls in real life, now I don't give a *blank*, because I see what I get (no fudging the pictures), I can talk to them right now (don't have to wait over a month in lame emails). and girls that are 7-8s in real life don't have overinflated online egos(ya they actually like talking to me, because out of 20 guys in the mall or store im the only good looking one). Its definitely Helped me in real life.
So I'd like to send out a thanks to all the virtual people out there for helping me with my approaching women fear. You guys are super!
I'll figure I'll let the married, guys in relationship, weirdos, creeps, asshole, (look at my penis guys) have their fun online. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/1/2008 8:35:10 AM | Know what you mean dude, and I never rate photos below a four or five mostly eight to ten,(except the dark ones you cant see and an occasional one or two photos here and there) and I get these 2's from the chicks, unbelieveable. Half and more sound like they only want you to take them on Harley and Boat outings all day anyway, so dont let it bother you. (Or an exotic evening at a casino if I read them correctly....)    | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/1/2008 8:36:24 AM | I propose to all men who think it sucks here, you're right....sign off and get out there. Meet women in real life...hopefully no one here is dating online ONLY...if that's the case, no wonder some of you are frustrated.
Online dating should be an addition to other stuff, not the only thing you're doing.
Personally I think it's better offline for both sexes because it's the more natural way to do it, and let's face it - the selection is better. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/1/2008 10:35:43 AM | I agree with you to a certain extent. However you can't always determine how attractive a person is from a few photos.
Then why post them at all?
Photos do give a general idea of what person looks like. But most people don't look exactly their like photos even if their photos are relatively recent and accurate. That's why many people can look better or worse in person than they do in their photos. I have seen this happen many times. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/1/2008 1:13:14 PM | djchickie401 Says,
I propose to all men who think it sucks here, you're right....sign off and get out there. Meet women in real life...hopefully no one here is dating online ONLY...if that's the case, no wonder some of you are frustrated.
Online dating should be an addition to other stuff, not the only thing you're doing.
Personally I think it's better offline for both sexes because it's the more natural way to do it, and let's face it - the selection is better.
DJ, To a degree i completely agree with you. Men are signing off and leaving POF. They leave in droves every week. Here is what the problem is in my way of thinking. It seems that the men that join this site all have one thing in common, They come on this site thinking that there will be a lot of women on here to chose from. They think that when you put as many people on here as the little counter at the top of the page says there are here then surly they will meet a woman here. But, Then reality sets in and they realize that most of the women here are fakes. Just here to get attention. Read/Delete/Ignore is the order of the day. The main problem here is people don't want to communicate with each other because there looking for something that isn't there. They seem to be wanting to make things harder than they have to be. It seems that a man can't send a woman a simple message to try to start up a conversation without the woman wanting him to jump through hoops. A lot of people, men and women are to superficial. They want to go by a picture and a few words in a profile and whether they jumped through a hoop enough times and decide from there if the person is worthy of there attention. Instead what they should be doing is talking to each other and learning about who the person is and going from there. That would cut down the frustration. As far as it being any better in the real world. Well,it's not. The selection is no better here than it is there. The only difference that i see here is it is easier to weed out the flakes and weirdos. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/1/2008 2:59:45 PM | | Meh, I'm here to meet cool people that I otherwise would not have. I walk past many women on any given day, and end up knowing absolutely nothing about them as they go by. Here I can at least get and idea of what they're like, and attempt to talk to the ones that are interesting. Some of them message me back, and I guess the majority of them don't, but I probably wouldn't have even bothered past a casual 'Hello' or smile if I saw them in a supermarket or sitting at a bar. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/1/2008 3:50:41 PM | | I have read many of these posts sense I have joined POF,.....but this is the first one I felt I "had to comment on". I "have to" disagree with you Eborys(d1022610). You may feel this way, but you are only seeing it from "one" side. (your side). Its not easy. I promise you. Understand....I am "not" saying that I am all that pretty or anything, but it is just plain "hard" to meet someone now days. Whether you are male or female. I see you a made sure to add your last line with attitude. Was this an attempt to "not" have women comment back with there side of things???..........I am sorry you feel the need to be hateful in your wording, but all the attitude in the world will not change the truth. I am sorry you feel discouraged, and discusted this way. I only know that I can say with "absolute honesty"..... it has been "sad" to say the least......trying to meet someone on here. Biggest problem "I personally" have experienced ....is that locally, there just are not very many available "gentleman"...who are "interested in return". Its sooo hit and miss....and it "is" a hurtful experience many times over. You like someone (perhaps alot)....but they have no "return interest or attraction".....and it hurts! I know! Been there/done that... many times. Or someone likes you, and..... your simply not attracted to them, ........or you are too opposite in personalities, or they simply have sooo many fishing lines out that the are too afraid a better fish might just "bite the bait any time"!!!!. All I am saying is...........in a world where things like honesty and loyalty are truely "a very rare find".....and then complicated even more so, by the whole online syber space world of just plain too-much-candy-in-the-candystore, for people to focus their feelings on "just one".......it can be hard. It can be hurtful. ...and though I can not speak for every female on here, I "can" speak for me. Rejection......"really hurts" no matter what the gender. ........................I honestly wish you goodluck in your search. I hope in fact that your luck ....is better than mine has been. Take Care my friend........and keep the hope alive. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/1/2008 4:04:29 PM | DJ, To a degree i completely agree with you. Men are signing off and leaving POF. They leave in droves every week. Here is what the problem is in my way of thinking. It seems that the men that join this site all have one thing in common, They come on this site thinking that there will be a lot of women on here to chose from. They think that when you put as many people on here as the little counter at the top of the page says there are here then surly they will meet a woman here. But, Then reality sets in and they realize that most of the women here are fakes. Just here to get attention. Read/Delete/Ignore is the order of the day. The main problem here is people don't want to communicate with each other because there looking for something that isn't there. They seem to be wanting to make things harder than they have to be. It seems that a man can't send a woman a simple message to try to start up a conversation without the woman wanting him to jump through hoops. A lot of people, men and women are to superficial. They want to go by a picture and a few words in a profile and whether they jumped through a hoop enough times and decide from there if the person is worthy of there attention. Instead what they should be doing is talking to each other and learning about who the person is and going from there. That would cut down the frustration. As far as it being any better in the real world. Well,it's not. The selection is no better here than it is there. The only difference that i see here is it is easier to weed out the flakes and weirdos.
Again...real life connections are probably better for these men anyway, so signing off and getting out of the house is probably for the best. That's all I was sayin'.
I personally feel that a lot of men are here in the first place because they're not comfortable offline making connections. The consequences are that if you cannot make your way offline when it comes to dating, you'll no doubt subject yourself to things like online dating and frustrate yourself (that is, if you feel it's that big a deal to have someone in your life). We're naturally meant to meet people by sight first, then get to know them from there, it's more natural to us; it's what we are more familliar with.
There's no need to sign off completely, but coming here won't solve things if you can't figure it out anywhere else. Although people have found someone here and been successful, this site is best as a supplement to an already healthy social life...it's meant more for widening your dating circle than as a sole means of finding someone. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/2/2008 4:54:03 PM | ah I'm not alone in thinking internet dating is crap for men , hay its pretty crap in real life these days ,but on the net it sucks big time , amount of really average looking single mums with a personality Bypass who want you to take on all their kids , and have a bloody mile long list of requirements - and you have a look at the bottom of the page 200+ favs really it is beyond words .
well rant over feel better now . | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/2/2008 5:27:23 PM | Sorry dating sucks so bad for you, guys. All I can say in response to this is......try having a monthly period. LOL
I hope all the venting helps you get it out of your system. If internet dating makes you unhappy, you should seriously just stop and do what makes you happy. If you started playing volleyball, and didn't like it, would you sit around complaining about it? Or maybe just go find another activity that you like better? I do think it is harder than meeting people in real life. The last guy I dated that I met through common interests I probably never would have given a chance if he contacted me on a dating site. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/2/2008 5:33:57 PM |
So why do it then? Why not find an activity that you enjoy better? There is nothing more unattractive than a man complaining that women will not respond to him.
why are you in this thread ?
I got a theory about women rejecting men , I think online they are gratifying their ego,s every rejection is a little more affirmation of their own deluded self-worth.
man this ranting is quite cathartic I most do it more often . | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/2/2008 6:23:07 PM | Snakewhisperer Said
Sorry dating sucks so bad for you, guys. All I can say in response to this is......try having a monthly period. LOL
Sorry but i just couldn't let this statement go by. So think about this. Try being the man who is putting up with the woman on the period! Then you will find out what torment really is.
Me personally, I think guys should be more like me when it comes to dating. I don't let it bother me if a woman answers my messages or not. I don't let it bother me if a woman wants to go out with me or not. The reason being is i am comfortable in myself. But, I will be honest and say that it is not my intention to live the rest of my life alone. I don't think any man really wants to be alone. But, At the same time i don't need a woman just for the sake of having one. I finally realized that i didn't need a woman to make me whole. The only reason i would like to have a woman in my life is for companionship. But, At the same time i am comfortable in myself. "IF" it ever happens for me then good for me. But "IF"it doesn't i am still gonna be happy because i am comfortable with me just the way it is. In other words guys, Learn to be comfortable in yourself. If you are not comfortable in yourself then no woman will be comfortable with you. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/2/2008 7:20:19 PM | | it isn't easy for women either...at least not this one I get lookers but no takers...I feel like chopped liver sometimes. THEN I remember that I am a great person and it is your loss for not taking the chance to get to know me... | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/2/2008 7:23:52 PM | Yes, I agree with the poster. I have only been on for a week and my record is "ZERO" as well. But hey, do not let it get you down. Those women that will only date the "creme dela creme" are the same women that b*tch an complain that there perfect looking guy is cheating on them with other girls from this site. So, in the end they are the ones that got burned. Funny, how things work out is'nt it?
If you are lucky to be the perfect ten then you get dozens of emails each day from women wanting to be with you. These perfect looking men know that if whoever they date from this site does not do exactly as she is told she can be replaced easily within a matter of minutes.
I think that you should look at this site as just entertainment and not take things too seriously here. If you know who you are and what kind of great, caring, loyal man you can be for a women eventually a smart girl will figure that out and snatch you up.
Myself, I am a successful, high energy guy with quite alot to give. If some women does'nt want to respond to a message I send her that is her loss, no big deal. It just helps me cut through the crap of all the artificial, materialistic women that I would'nt want to date anyway.
What they do not know is that guys like me are the real catches, we are the ones that do'nt cheat, that are not high maintenance or arrogent. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/2/2008 7:29:13 PM | Most of what I read in this thread boggles the mind.
Men whine and claim they have it so bad here and women pipe in and say no we do.. and even if we don't... try having a period. I'm paraphrasing, but you get the gist.
Simple solutions have been thrown about, to be sure, but remain largely ignored.
It truly baffles me just how shocked most of you are by the amount of rejection you get. You will always get rejected more than you won't.. and not just regarding dating. I can't imagine why no one ever notices this. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/2/2008 8:31:00 PM | | I only read the first post in this long and old thread, but I would have to say I agree with the opinion that this site and other dating sites are a good ego boost for women. Guys on average barely get any messages over a span of months or years, but I know a couple women on here who get 50+ a day and have been on the sites for 6-12 months. When you're out in public, you remember things like that, and it would help your confidence and ego to know that so many people are interested in you. Unfortunately it also can have the opposite effect. | |
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