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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/2/2008 9:05:06 PM |
It truly baffles me just how shocked most of you are by the amount of rejection you get. You will always get rejected more than you won't.. and not just regarding dating. I can't imagine why no one ever notices this.
I have said this on more threads than i can count. Men come on here with the idea that when you put this many people in one place you are bound to meet someone. But, Then the reality sets in and they find out that there wasting there time here. In one sense of the word it is POF administrations fault. When a person signs up on this site they should automatically be told about the forums and asked to participate. Men join this site and start sending out messages only to be ignored. Most never even participate in the forums. If they did there luck would be better. They make the same mistake that i and a lot of others have made. They come on here thinking that a few words in a profile and a picture and the women will come running. A profile and a picture ain't enough. I think administration needs to step in and do something about this. When i first joined POF i didn't know how important it is to participate in the forums. But, I guess you could say i figured it out.  | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/2/2008 9:24:01 PM | By the way, From what i read here, Rejection here is worse than rejection in most bars and clubs. It's funny to me I can walk up to a woman at my local hometown grocery store meat dept and say, "Hey, How you doing today, Does the ground beef look good to you?" And have a date that night. Here on POF, You say something like, "Hey, I like your profile. I would love to chat with you sometime". She can't hit the delete button fast enough! | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/3/2008 5:56:30 AM |
So why do it then? Why not find an activity that you enjoy better? There is nothing more unattractive than a man complaining that women will not respond to him
well good point really , this is my last post on here , ill leave my profile up becouse it offends gold diggers , but this thing really is making me depressed and bitter ,and life is to short .
oh well back to taking crap off women in pubs and clubs , man you got to laugh these days or your cry 
this fish has evolved and crawled out of the pond  | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/3/2008 10:36:49 AM | Ok you have your perspective which may be accurate. Since there are so many men we are not worth that much. Its like any material, for instance gold, if there is alot of it its value goes down. Why do you think some dating websites give women free full access subscriptions. They do this because there are so few and plus it generates more revenue.
But thats not to say women have a cake walk. There are some women that get no mail, hate mail or perv mail. That can't be fun. Also, some women have the opposite problem a crisis of exsess. They have so many replies that they have to make snap judgements. And just like in real life only a bit more extreme women get the power of choice.
Lets be honest if you were getting flooded each day by emails wouldn't you pick the cream of the crop? I would. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/3/2008 1:14:47 PM | I have to say I still find little point to this thread other than whining.
I'm sure the women find it a very attractive quality there guys, you should stay on here and keep posting how awful women are for the way they treat you! Be sure to keep it very generic too, its not just some women, its *all* women on here, because women never want to feel unique and valued as individuals!! | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/3/2008 1:34:41 PM | flossiegirl
It is just amazing to me how many women just don't get it about men on this site. Men are 98% of the time ignored on this site. NO MATTER WHAT THEY SAY. In other words, If they write a long message about your profile and how they like this and that and how much in common they have with the woman, Read, Delete, Ignore is what they get 98% of the time. They write "wanna chat" they get ignored. They write a sweet paragraph, They get ignored. I wish one woman on here would speak up and tell these guys what to say that will get them return messages when they have already tried everything. Women gripe and complain about getting bad messages from men on this site. Don't get me wrong, I don't condone it, But at the same time i can kinda understand why some men will do that because they think all the women on here are full of themselves and it's a way to strike back. Again, Not saying i condone it and i wouldn't do it myself. But at the same time i can see how it could be frustrating to the men on here being ignored all the time. From what i read, For every one woman that will return a mans message if for nothing but to say there not interested 99 of them go largely ignored. If there are five thousand men on here at any given time 85% of them will go largely ignored. Read the forums. You can learn a lot. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/3/2008 1:50:52 PM | | I respond to every message that I receive, and am not full of myself or looking for Mr. Perfect. Everyone has to weed through a lot of crap, but try not to paint all women with the same brush. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/3/2008 2:59:00 PM | fifi47 Said
I respond to every message that I receive, and am not full of myself or looking for Mr. Perfect. Everyone has to weed through a lot of crap, but try not to paint all women with the same brush.
fifi47, Was this meant for me? If it was please understand that it is not my intention to paint all women with the same brush. Really, all i am trying to do is help these guys get answers. Me personally, It doesn't bother me one bit if a woman does or doesn't answer me . But at the same time i can sympathize with the guys on here that get shot down left and right. Thank you for being the type that answers your messages. We all wish there were more like you here. But the reality of it is there are more that don't than they are that do. I am glad that you are not full of yourself or that you are not looking for Mr Perfect. Thank you for speaking up. But, The reality of that is,That is the way guys take it when there constantly ignored. If a person is constantly ignored whether it be here on on the street that is the impression that it comes off looking like. Full of ones self, better than you, your not good enough, And a whole host of other nasty things that can make a person feel substandard. The only reason i post to this thread the way i have is because i hope that if one person reads it maybe that one will understand how what they do makes someone else feel. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/4/2008 5:36:42 PM | | Hey, compactdisc, thanks for your reply. I think internet dating has a lot to do with supply and demand. If a woman has a lot of choices, she can afford to be picky. If these same guys approached the woman in person, she might be more interested, but when presented with 10 different emails all at the same time, she will often turn down some potentially good men. I know it's happened with me and I feel bad about it. It is just the nature of internet dating that you will get more rejections than in real life because you have more competition. So if you want to continue doing it, you really need to adjust how you handle rejection. If you cannot find the positive in this type of dating, it is probably not a good venue for you. Really. I have never met the love of my life on the internet. But I always try and find some positives here. I've made friends on the forums. I've made friends in different states. If I ever travel to those states, I have friends to visit there. I've met some interesting people and had some fun dinners. I've kept some as friends. One came over and I made him lunch and he helped me fix my fridge. He turned out to be a fun hiking partner. Not the love of my life. So what? You really just have to keep a positive attitude, because that will make you way more attractive to women. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/4/2008 6:52:18 PM | So much of the time I feel that a lot of the emails I receive from men are "stock letters" that they send to me and everyone else. Unless I can tell that someone took the time to read my profile and wrote a customized letter to ME, and of course must send his picture along with it, then of course I will not or cannot takes him seriously. Also, it is really sad the number of people who are looking on these sites - mainly to see what people they may be missing when in actuality they are either married or in a relationship with someone already. Be a man or woman and wait till the ink dries on your divorce papers before signing up for a dating website because otherwise it makes you look really bad.
Best of luck to all!  | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/5/2008 4:48:31 AM | So much of the time I feel that a lot of the emails I receive from men are "stock letters" that they send to me and everyone else. Unless I can tell that someone took the time to read my profile and wrote a customized letter to ME,
And that STILL doesn't work. I used to make well, thought out letters, only to have them deleted....after that, I made them a bit shorter and more standard.....with a few questions about them in their profile in regards to their profile.
It's also kind of funny, when you've seen and emailed every single woman that you put in your search criteria in your 50 mile geographic area STILL on a dating site, looking, and of course rejected your email....and are still actively seeking on these sites.....the same faces across ALL sites, across the board after you emailed them ALL.....what can you do next?
I figured joining ANOTHER dating site would solve that...but if you do.....you see the same people there too! LOL. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/5/2008 4:57:59 AM | Perhaps you should look for a different kind of woman - not necessarily the greatest outer beauty but one of inner beauty which in the end should win because that is a beauty that is lasting.
Best Wishes! | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/5/2008 5:51:40 AM | This is such an easy venue! Everybody here is looking for a relationship of some sort. What happens now ...after you realize that, is the fun part. There is no other arena that I am aware where eveyone has that same objective and you can jump right in. Does that mean "the one" for you is here? Of course not. Does that mean if she (he) is, will you two recognize each other? Let's hope so...but still probably not.
I suggest you send every email out like you would a wink across the bar. You hope that there is a positive response...but you are not going to wait and see, as there is someone else to wink at! Now go wink at the next person. .....and the next..... | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/5/2008 6:17:26 AM | I think for men the best way to approach internet dating is to not contact women.. rather make your profile and photos attractive, post in the forums -- especially the local ones -- and let them come to you.
You don't catch a fish by jumping in the water and flailing about frantically... set your bait and be patient. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/5/2008 11:57:24 AM | | Obviously not all women are successful in this site or others. When I first joined this site I got 3 emails the next day, after that maybe 1 more and that's it! The same happened to a friend that is much better looking than me. It's not only women that are picky, men are too! | |
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AKS26
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Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 1693 | |
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/5/2008 12:10:05 PM | | Ya know, I hafta disagreee. I have been on sites, and winked at guys I found attractive or shared some interests with. NO responses! So u can imagine I wanna do THAT again!I'm not trying 2 say I'm all that, but I'm not something the cat dragged in. Maybe guys are shy too? | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/5/2008 12:56:06 PM | I think for men the best way to approach internet dating is to not contact women.. rather make your profile and photos attractive, post in the forums -- especially the local ones -- and let them come to you.
You don't catch a fish by jumping in the water and flailing about frantically... set your bait and be patient.
The problem with this is that many average looking men don't receive a lot of initial contacts. When they do, it is often from women who are much different than what he is looking for. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/5/2008 6:05:55 PM | Uniquewoman123 Said,
Perhaps you should look for a different kind of woman - not necessarily the greatest outer beauty but one of inner beauty which in the end should win because that is a beauty that is lasting.
What you say here sounds good in and of itself. But the bad thing about it is and i don't mean to sound mean but even the ones with the inner beauty tend to ignore there messages. I know guys on here that have sent messages to average looking women and still get shot down. Some of the guys i know have even gotten messages back from these average looking women saying that he isn't what she is looking for. In other words there are some women on here that think they look better than what they really do. Just another one of those things that makes some wonder what there doing here. I don't know, Maybe men should do as i stated in a previous post. Go to there local grocery store meat dept, and talk to women there. They would have better luck . Here, Some of them seem to want a man to jump through hoops just to get there attention. I don't think that at your local grocery store a woman would want you to jump over ten items or less to get her attention. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/5/2008 6:18:28 PM | hi ; just find a bright red farrari or black , take a picture leaning on it and wait for the deluge of emails from the bottom dwellers looking for mega bucks , they think they hit the lottery then !
LOL lol LOL | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/5/2008 6:41:30 PM |
The problem with this is that many average looking men don't receive a lot of initial contacts. When they do, it is often from women who are much different than what he is looking for.
You wouldn't be referring to "average" women would you? No...that would be hypocrisy...can't be...
What you say here sounds good in and of itself. But the bad thing about it is and i don't mean to sound mean but even the ones with the inner beauty tend to ignore there messages. I know guys on here that have sent messages to average looking women and still get shot down. Some of the guys i know have even gotten messages back from these average looking women saying that he isn't what she is looking for.
This mentality bothers me - it essentially says you hate being turned down by women you don't want anyway, and that women who are less than good looking should be grateful and respond to anyone who messages them. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/5/2008 8:24:24 PM | djchickie401 When i said this,
What you say here sounds good in and of itself. But the bad thing about it is and i don't mean to sound mean but even the ones with the inner beauty tend to ignore there messages. I know guys on here that have sent messages to average looking women and still get shot down. Some of the guys i know have even gotten messages back from these average looking women saying that he isn't what she is looking for.
All i was stating was the truth. Don't take it out of context. I have already stated that i don't care if a woman answers me or not. The only reason i am here is because i like the forums and i enjoy reading them. I also have a few friends here that tell me how they are doing on the site. My profile is hidden and it has been that way for a long time. From what i am told and what i read the site is pretty much a failure. No one wants to talk to each other. Everyone pretty much ignores each other be it the pretty people or the average. In other words everyone seems to be shooting everyone down. It doesn't matter if your average, above average or somewhere in between on line dating doesn't work. That's the point i was trying to make. As far as on line goes it doesn't matter if you have the inner beauty or not. Your gonna get shot down because people on here do not give other people a chance to show there inner beauty. Read/delete/ignore as i have already said is the order of the day here for men and women. In other words in a way i am agreeing with you. Get out from in front of your computer. You will have better luck. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/5/2008 9:59:20 PM | | I hear you brother. I am good looking, professional, and funny as hell and like yourself don't get any emails. It takes a lot of energy to compose a good message and you don't even get a "no thank you" and of course the dreaded unread and deleted will surely boil your blood. I stopped sending emails. Chasing these spoiled princesses simply isn't worth it. | |
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