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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/7/2008 9:22:35 PM | Perhaps it's what you're stating in your email or profile. By the way I didn't see that pic of the good looking you.
And, it's not that great for women on here. When I put an age range I'd like to stay within why am I contacted by men in their 70's? I state I want 30 years with a man, and I truly do, however that is too old for me.
Otherwise, and guys complain about this too, the person I meet for coffee looks nothing like their pictures. How fair is that? 
I've had men pursue me to meet. We meet for Starbucks and then I never hear from them again. Fine, I only agreed to meet to get them to stop pushing. Or, no shows that's special.
The worst dates have been the ones where I'd have lunch or dinner with someone and they'd ask me to marry them on the spot! Then they walk me to my car and grope my breasts in broad daylight??? 
Thus, it's the same for women as well. We meet all types, too. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/8/2008 3:10:41 AM |
How do you know that a person who isn't intersted in you is looking for a model? Unless they specifically said that to you, you're projecting. Attraction isn't about wanting perfection, it's not a choice - either someone does it for you or they don't.
This is an excellent point and the "looking for a model" argument does not pan out. We've all been turned down in real life by someone who then goes on the date someone who may not be better looking than we are, but whom they are attracted to. Attraction isn't all about looks but no one can fathom it. I want to point out that good looking people can have inner beauty too. Also, I have yet to find one person that the whole population finds perfect. Some people (like me) don't find Brad that hot.
Perhaps people are spending too much time looking at the top 500 and checking to see how many favorite lists the top picks are on. Since they are usually on a lot, that equals "everyone" - again, they aren't on everyone's favorite list - is looking for people their level of hotness. I had a nice chat with a guy who was top 1o for awhile. One day I commented on his favorite list and he said very few women actually contacted him. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/8/2008 11:58:59 AM | You know, If you really stop and look at this and read this thread, (As much of it as you can stand ) I don't know about anyone else but you start to see a pattern. Us guys, We get accused of being cry baby's because we ask questions trying to justify being here. But when you look at the whole thing it starts to look like no one is attracted to anyone on this site. You know, I am thinking about taking my pictures down. Because if you read through this thread and not necessarily every post you will see that there is a lot of people that are going by pictures and a few words in a profile and deciding from there if there attracted to this guy or gal . For every one i see that post a good testimonial about finding someone there is twenty that post how bad they think this site is. I know that i am not going to be attracted to everybody and everybody isn't going to be attracted to me and that's OK. But i must be one of the lucky ones because i met someone two months after i joined and we are still seeing each other. But the ones that baffle me are the ones that have been here two years and longer and have never gotten anywhere and the amount of guys & gals that NEVER even get a thank you, kiss my a$$, or go to h.e.l.l. There is one guy i talk to that swears that he has been here since 2003 and has NEVER gotten a return message. Not one, Zero. I have found in my short time of being here that POF is a interesting place to to be but at the same time a weird place to be. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/8/2008 12:37:35 PM | ^^^^Tamara
Note to self: Only grope breasts after dark!
Maybe POF is like one of those High Voltage Bug Zappers
Very dramatic and fun to watch, but it doesn't attract biting insects!  | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/8/2008 2:44:16 PM | Just my .02 and others have touched on this before.
I don't mean to sound offensive or be rude, but as far as dating goes, it will always and forever be a seller's market., the woman being a seller in this case. The faster we learn that, the sooner we'll all stop whining and moaning. Not like posts here will change anybody's mind.
Think about it. Even an average girl probably gets what, like at least 10 messages a day? I would have my ego up in the Milky Way too if that were the case with me. Some will perhaps sit it out for months waiting for that prince on the white horse to come along...hey, it ain't costing a thing so why not?
:)
Online dating, in my opinion, is even close to what it's cracked up to be. I think I'm getting ready to shut shop and go back to the traditional way.Shocker, eh?
:) | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/8/2008 3:11:54 PM | Soccer.........
I'd like to know where you're pulling those numbers from. The first week I was here I may have gotten 10 messages. Now it's MAYBE 2 a month......
I think you're laboring under the same misconception that many of the men here are.....women are turning down or ignoring scores of men. Not remotely true. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/8/2008 5:54:02 PM |
Yes they are because if they were not, this thread would of never existed and there would not be so many disappointed men here. I'm not saying its perfect for women but online dating is much of a disappointment for men.
Perhaps the EXTREMELY SMALL percentage of drop-dead gorgeous women are, yes. Average looking women are in the same boat as average looking guys. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/8/2008 5:56:22 PM | blueeyedgirl42 Said,
think you're laboring under the same misconception that many of the men here are.....women are turning down or ignoring scores of men. Not remotely true.
I don't know what makes you think that. Right now there are already over 1700 post on this thread that disputes that claim from men and women both and countless other threads about this same subject going back as far as 2002. Maybe you need to read a little bit closer. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/8/2008 6:01:05 PM | ^^^^^^^^^
I've BEEN reading.....what I see repeated over and over again is MEN claiming that women are being deluged with emails from quality men, and WOMEN saying they are not. If I had that much mail, I wouldn't have had time to read or post in anything in the forums, much less do anything else. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/8/2008 6:07:20 PM | ^^^^^^^^
Sorry, if you maybe hadn't thought of this, but a single (unattached)
woman will generate far more interest on here then one with children!
Also a thin woman more so then a few extra pounds.
And so forth!
It's just the way it is!
Same goes for guys! Kids, no kids, short vs tall!
Probably many of the hottest people on here don't even participate in the
forums! Heck, many don't even know they exist!
The data is very skewed! | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/8/2008 7:20:56 PM | You are absof&lutely right!! I get tons of e-mails,gifts,put on favorites lists, but I'm still alone.
We have to be "selective," after all is said and done, life is too short to settle for someone just
because they are interested in you. It works both ways.
In a small way your right. Men have the power to choose to persue a woman. But the big power of choice comes on the female side. Because they have the option of choosing who they want. And I have to admit if I was in thier shoes I'd be choosy aswell. Thats just human nature.  Just keep in mind if you keep throwing away the fish you catch sooner or later they'll find a new area to swim. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/8/2008 7:42:12 PM | | OK blue eyed girl, I will give you that but how do you explain the grand majority of women that post on here that say they get 20 or more a day? There more that say they do than they are that say they don't. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/8/2008 7:56:35 PM | plastic sturgeon Said,
Probably many of the hottest people on here don't even participate in the
forums! Heck, many don't even know they exist!
Your dead right. That seems like something that would be administrations fault. When i joined this site i didn't even know what the forums were. I found them by accident. Seems to me that when a person joins this site one of the first things administration should do is direct that person to the forums. Post something on there main page describing how important it is to post and read the forums. To me the forums give a person a chance to find out something about a potential interest. It is more easy for me to get interested in a woman if she takes a little time to talk to me. What better place than the forums. Heck, It seems the only way to get someone to pay attention to you is by posting here. I have met a few women by posting on the forums. They might not like what i say sometimes but it gets the conversation started.And it beats sending messages that just get deleted. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/9/2008 6:35:11 AM | Sorry, if you maybe hadn't thought of this, but a single (unattached)
woman will generate far more interest on here then one with children!
Also a thin woman more so then a few extra pounds.
And so forth!
Until I put up a pic of myself showing some cleavage, I too only got about 2 emails a month. It was the best reaction I've had since joining lol!
I'm thin, single and no kids!
The truth is is that men are visual and sexual and many will be attracted by the pic. Same goes for most women on here.
I totally agree that women are in a better position than men for dating, but saying we get the amount of emails some men think we get is incorrect.
But instead of bemoaning the fact that men are only interested in one thing, I know that there are some who are interested in more than that too.
Since the end of time, women and men have been attracting each other with "sexuality", why would that change now? Biological. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/9/2008 6:57:21 AM | I don't think it matters the number of emails one gets... that doesn't make a successful experience, unless receiving email is the reason for being here.
I receive 4-10 a day. Some are too young, too old, too far away, women... doesn't mean a thing if you're looking to meet someone. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/9/2008 6:00:19 PM | | You know, You would think that guys like that would someday grow up. I stopped thinking below my waste in my 30's. I see plenty of women on here with there boobs almost hanging out. Not one have i ever messaged because i can't really take her serious. Two things that really turn me off with profiles here as far as women go. When they post a picture with something hanging out, Or almost hanging out. Turnoff. The ones that you see posing for the camera in certain ways so you can see what they got without showing everything, Turnoff. I move on. I can't take them serious because it is obvious that there just seeking attention. Just seeing if they can get a "rise" out of these horny toad men. Theres plenty of them out there just dumb enough to fall for it. Another thing that gets me is it's these that sometime gripe about stalkers. Geeze, Don't get mad at me ladies. I know there are some that get stalkers that never done a thing to deserve it. But, There are some that bring this crap on themselves. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/9/2008 7:09:47 PM | Ok, so it's only 5 a day..I got my stats wrong. Sue me ;) Stat may be wrong, but fact still stands :)
And no.....I'm not bitter at all. You didn't see me whining, did ya?
To each his own...if not you then someone else, if not someone else then someone else
:) | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/9/2008 7:50:51 PM | Internet dating sucks for BOTH men & women...at least the DECENT ones! I don't consider myself to be anywhere near a 10, but I've also never had anyone chew their arm off, just to get away from me when I was asleep (I've checked their arms, just to make sure :) On this site, I used to feel like a hound dog! Now that I'm used to the rejection, I don't give a crap...I don't take this particular site seriously anymore. If I was to put up a picture of myself half naked, maybe I'd get more responses! But I don't want someone just for a lay! THOSE are the women who get 200000000000 emails a day :)
The good looking ones are the people who get the most emails & since there are so many people after them....the rest of us are S.O.L.! Maybe try looking at the AVERAGE JOE-ETTE...beauty is on the inside as well! Everyone has their own perception of good lookingas well :)
I have a few male friends who have asked me why the women on here are sooooooo snobby....who the h*ll knows?? | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/9/2008 7:57:17 PM | I'm female & have responded to lots of men's advertisements. It's not just men but maybe you feel like that some days:)
Some of the guys don't answer but most do so I 'screen' them in relation to what my 'criteria' is. Works well.
Some sites are more productive than others; this site has been superb.
Good Luck! | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/10/2008 12:05:19 AM | It may be true but you have to focus on the solution not the problem. If another man can do it then so can you or me. My suggestion is:
1) research what type of profiles women like
2) keep editing your profile until it is perfect
3) pictures, good ones with you doing something adventurous
4)15 emails? why don't you try 15 a day?
good luck. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/10/2008 3:20:09 AM |
OK blue eyed girl, I will give you that but how do you explain the grand majority of women that post on here that say they get 20 or more a day? There more that say they do than they are that say they don't.
I have counted, so if you hae, maybe you are correct. It certainly doesn't seem to me like a "grand majority". What I'm seeing and reading is a large percentage of men saying "all the women are ignoring me" and a large number of women saying that they either got very minimal numbers of emails, or they get stupid/insulting/inappropriate emails, if any. I do see a few women saying they are getting emails, but I don't think I've seen more than a couple women saying they getting large volumes of mail from men.
I can only relate my experience, which is that in the first week or so I had my profile here, I got many (certainly not the dozens that some men think all women are getting) emails. It was like feeding time at the shark tank, but I got lots of "hey baby"s and "ur hot", "u r cute", "let's hook up", etc. Personally I PREFER the mail I get now....MAYBE one a week, but usually with SOMETHING to say that makes it clear he both CAN read and HAS read my profile.
Please don't misunderstand....I have NEVER said this doesn't suck for men. My point all along has been that for MOST women.....this is not necessarily a great place to meet someone to date. I have, however briefly dated a couple of men from this site and have several friends that I met here.
AND, of course....the forums are ALWAYS entertaining......
Happy fishing! | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/10/2008 2:22:23 PM | I find guys don't like me making the first contact, so I never do even if they have put me in their favourites. Every time I have made first contact I get a reply that translates as not interested, go away. This site is probably the friendliest I have tried, others you can try for ages to get someone to chat to you and they are all flashing their online signs but nobody replies ~ I forgot the name of that site, haven't been back there at all in months.
Maybe its a case of being really fluent around the internet and finding interesting people to talk to in different places. And maybe the structure of some sites has hidden reasons why you can waste time trying to make contact, though it could be that all those guys with their online now signs flashing are being choosy who they will waste two minutes saying hi to. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/10/2008 4:23:23 PM | The forums are the best part (in my experience, maybe others like the dating side more).
I'd agree that these sites work well for what most consider exceptionally good looking youngish men & reasonably attractive (and beyond) youngish women.
My advice to ordinary/average guys such as myself in the UK (and maybe abroad places also) is go out and meet women in the real world, don't count on website dating for more than passing amusement once/twice maybe in a week for 20 minutes. Real places should be your priority, 20 mins online once or twice a week date-searching is a sensible limit for males, otherwise you can waste years searching fruitlessly online and just get eye strain, a complex and frustration! | |
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