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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/12/2008 3:07:33 AM | Sometimes being on a favorites list is an indication that people like your forum posts. They think you are intelligent, funny not necessarily hot. All the favorites lists I am on are women and they are on mine, we love each others posts and keep up with them. I deleted my profile for a while and was on 30 something favs---all were people from forums except for one man who kept adding me and I kept deleting and finally gave up.
I don't pay attention to favorite list, but am always curious about the testimonals. Were they written by former lovers or currrent interests? Either way, if you are bothered by it--move on.
I've tried meeting people in the real world--not any better than here or the other sites I have been on. I have made some friends, had some short term dating which did not work for one of us, met some weirdos and been stood-up. I have been to the singles groups, singles dances, bars, clubs, church(although I don't use this as a meat market-I truly do enjoy church) and associations. Nothing. All the ways of meeting people do not always work for us but apparently work for some.
The women who are overrun with emails are either very pretty or showing assets. I am not the former and refuse to do the latter. And so it goes......................... | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/12/2008 3:37:25 AM |
I deleted my profile for a while and was on 30 something favs---all were people from forums except for one man who kept adding me and I kept deleting and finally gave up.
You deleted your profile just because one guy kept adding you back to this favorites list? | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/12/2008 3:45:08 AM | | No, I was censured by the POF for posting breaking a rule, met someone and dated for a while. I deleted the profile because I thought that was the thing to do while dating....a true indication of single but not looking. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/12/2008 6:27:53 AM | You certainly are not playing your percentages here. It is a numbers game. The only advantage over approaching women at the produce section is that here they have given some indication of availability. But then, that can also be looked at as a negative. Any women with anything going for them will be having guys hitting on them in RL.
since it is free... I am fishing for someone in my age range as eccentric and interesting as me.
I am over 50.......I put the chances at less than .001%
I would never bother with a pay site
If you are 19 you can get online and have a hot babe in 20 minutes | |
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| Internet dating: ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS!
Posted: 6/12/2008 12:08:29 PM | Too many guys is a problem in less obvious ways, the generic female opinion that guys suck on dating sites generally ought to mean if you're a relatively decent guy you've got a definite advantage. However females seem more attracted to the guys that end up sucking thus perpetuating the generic opinion.
thus if you're a relatively decent guy your chances of success are more dependent on how well a given site prevents females from making bad decisions whether by accident or design.
This I believe, is largely to do with too much choice. There's studies that prove people making decisions with limited choices are much happier over their decisions than people given a lot of choice. There's a book about this:
http://www.amazon.com/Paradox-Choice-Why-More-Less/dp/0060005688
It's like when you go to the supermarket to buy something and there's 20 brands of the same thing. No one has the brainpower to make an adequate comparison of of 20 different things. At that point one's initial criteria is out of the window. What do you do, pick one at a random. Pick the one that has the most impressive packaging? None of these choices have any kind of rational reasoning about them. I suspect the same effect happens on most/all dating sites.
Take for instance the 20 thumbnails on the the inbox page, I see no evidence that anyone is clicking on me when I appear in that list. Yet on another site where the choice is only 1 in 4, i get a good number of hits.
pof is unfortunately equivalent to chucking 500,000 people in a room and letting them figure it out for themselves. | |
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| Internet dating: ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS!
Posted: 6/12/2008 5:01:53 PM |
If you are 19 you can get online and have a hot babe in 20 minutes
Yeah, if a 19 year-old guy here was some muscular pretty boy with long hair, then he would have the abilty to get a hot babe online in 20 minutes. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/12/2008 10:07:51 PM | Boy I got a kick out of this one.
Every man who's tried online dating knows this scenario plays out everywhere. But hey ..did you really expect to fire up a bio and pics and suddenly be surrounded by a harem? Sure the paid sites what you to "think" that somehow the Internet is going to bring a bounty of babes but it's just not likely nor logical.
Take for instance the scenario of divorce. Typically the mother takes custody of the child and the father has visitation. Who's going to have more time to look for that next mate. The mother who's generally taking care of the children M-F and every other weekend or the father who's got more than enough time to hit the online sites looking for the next victim (j/k) ?
It makes total sense why there are more men on sites than women. It's a time thing for the most part and I for one don't mind that women get to be more selective. It's really no different than when you were in the local meatmarket. 90% of the women in the place probably looked at you and thought "nope" but there was no "papertrail" here you have that papertrail of "non response" or "brush off" emails. No foul..this is par for the course.
Men always benefit from selective women. They tend to be loyal to the man they finally let through. It's then our job not to screw that trust up. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/12/2008 11:54:52 PM |
But the ones who just add themselves and never say a word, CREEPY.
I don't add myself to others' favorites lists: I don't have that power. I add others to MY favorites list.
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/13/2008 1:11:08 AM | woobytoodsday Said,
I don't add myself to others' favorites lists: I don't have that power. I add others to MY favorites list.
OK, I stand corrected. But let's not split hairs here. It doesn't matter how a person gets added. I don't add any one i don't intend to speak to or hasn't spoken to me. It's creepy either way you cut it if i add you or you add me and we never speak to each other. As far as i can turn the favorites list is about as useless as tits on a boar hog and should be done away with.  | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/13/2008 1:16:13 AM |
Men always benefit from selective women. They tend to be loyal to the man they finally let through. It's then our job not to screw that trust up.
Excellent. Problem is finding the man we want to let through.
To the ones who will realize that while the majority of us are not 'beautiful' on the outside--we have much to offer on the inside. Most women will accept an average man because we find the whole package interesting, while most men are looking for the 'Girls Next Door'. For those without a TV-those are Hugh Hefner's over tucked, over siliconed, over bleached, mostly underbrained three live in girlfriends. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/13/2008 6:38:12 AM |
I don't add myself to others' favorites lists: I don't have that power. I add others to MY favorites list.
Exactly. Most of us don't keep track of or talk to a lot of the ones that add us.
Anywho...because of this thread, I have decided to add MORE hot local men to my favorites list...I'd hate to have men complaining that they don't get added as much as women do, so don't worry boys, I'm doing my share. Surprisingly, it's not that terrible. : ) | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/13/2008 11:19:07 AM | outofthedesert Said,
To the ones who will realize that while the majority of us are not 'beautiful' on the outside--we have much to offer on the inside. Most women will accept an average man because we find the whole package interesting, while most men are looking for the 'Girls Next Door'. For those without a TV-those are Hugh Hefner's over tucked, over siliconed, over bleached, mostly under brained, three live in girlfriends.
To tell you the honest truth i have been with some very pretty women in my time. I have also been with some average looking women . I personally found out that i get along better with a average looking woman. Reason being is the really pretty ones i went out with turned out to be very stuck on themselves. It's OK for a woman to feel pretty, But the ones i have been with were the "Pretty and know it" kind. They come across arrogant and "I am better than you" . That was always a turn off to me . To me, a average looking woman will score more points because they seem more reasonable about men and relationships. Don't get me wrong, I know there are some pretty ones out there that are just as pretty on the inside as they are on the outside i just never came across one. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/13/2008 11:38:01 AM | compactdisc Said,
c`mon then ladies please let a few more of us " average " guys thru and into your world and give us " average " guys a chance to prove our worth instead of snubbing us " average " guys.
Listen Dude, It's alright to blow off steam and talk about the things that bug us all but geeze man, don't beg. What you have said here sounds that way. If a woman wants to talk to me then that is OK. But if she doesn't, That's OK to. This is the way i look at it, There are to many women out there to worry about whether one wants to talk or not. I think i have already said this on this thread once. You have to learn to be comfortable in yourself before a woman will be comfortable with you. With what you said here it makes you seem needy. Believe me dude, to a woman that's a BIG turn off. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/14/2008 5:41:38 AM |
I don't add myself to others' favorites lists: I don't have that power. I add others to MY favorites list.
(DJChickie401) Exactly. Most of us don't keep track of or talk to a lot of the ones that add us.
And again: we know this HOW, exactly? We can only go by the evidence that we can sense. We don't know who's added you, or why. All we can see is the number.
Elementary, my dear DJC.
Anywho...because of this thread, I have decided to add MORE hot local men to my favorites list...I'd hate to have men complaining that they don't get added as much as women do, so don't worry boys, I'm doing my share.
Arlo | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/14/2008 9:03:22 AM | The Profile Reviews forum is full of guys asking why women don't answer their emails. Why not ask the woman why she didn't answer? If a guy cared enough to ask, I'd tell him.
If a man sends me an email that makes it plain he has actually read my profile, I will respond, even if I don't think we'll hit it off. And if I don't want any more emails from him I will say why.
But if it looks like spam, I nuke it. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/14/2008 9:25:43 AM |
And again: we know this HOW, exactly? We can only go by the evidence that we can sense. We don't know who's added you, or why. All we can see is the number.
Elementary, my dear DJC.
How about because I (and countless other women) have posted it? Just a shot in the dark....
How about you take all those women into consideration and find out if the one YOU are viewing is collecting favorites or has a lot of forum friends/strangers on her list by talking to her and finding out what she's about?
Naturally if she doesn't respond - then it's a moot point. You move on. Simple, simple. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/14/2008 1:22:38 PM | I fully agree... the women have full control on internet dating sites... and I agree with another reply on this thread... about most women are only on here for an ego boost...
Most are just here to play mind games and have no interest in finding love or even chatting... | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/14/2008 3:01:33 PM | | Seems to me as if many men have full control and they are here for an ego boost. They seem to be here to play mind games and have no interest in finding love or chatting about anything except sex. Not all men, since many men who post on the forums seem to have a lot to offer and are genuinely into quality, not quantity. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/14/2008 5:01:17 PM | | Ya, for the guys that are 8-9 on here, I know its tough and might seem like a waste of time but just go and hang out at a lounge, cafe, bar doesnt have to be a club. Most of the time you won't have to do the approaching a lot of women given enough time just sitting there will approach you. Plus you'll get some of your confidence back that online dating has taken away from you. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/14/2008 5:19:06 PM | I guess I've been lucky! I write to guys all the time, even if there's no chance in hell that there will be a meeting! (distance for instance) I write to tell them I like their profile or whatever, if you just converse in a normal manner, and don't EXPECT BLISS at first sight...it's not that bad.
Also, I don't know what girls YOU know who get the scads and scads of emails you're talking about, but even though I contact the guys 90% of the time, I don't sit and cry if they don't write back...no big deal really. And if your such a great LOOKING guy, maybe that's your problem...I know I've not written sometimes, because I figure I'M not GOOD LOOKING enough for certain guys...hell we don't know what you want even though you might say 'no bald women' or 'must be 'slender'', we don't know what YOUR IDEA of 'slender' is....and for shit's sake, a few extra pounds on a person isn't such a BAD thing...certainly is nicer for snuggling...but if it's looks you're into...maybe a pay site with more graphic profiles is for you.
I'm no beauty queen, but I'm not exactly gross either...but hang the looks thing and maybe you'll snag a fishy or two!!! 
Keep casting!!! | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/14/2008 5:24:12 PM | Lighten up!! Geez...the favorites lists are for YOUR personal 'reference'. As in, when fishing...add someone to your favorites list...then when you have enough time, write to them. We don't all have the luxury of sitting on our butts all day long writing to ONE person on ONE day....send out a bunch of quick hellos and see what happens...it's called plenty of fish for a reason...you can't catch a fish if you don't cast your line!!    | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/14/2008 5:31:36 PM |
(Arlo) And again: we know this HOW, exactly? We can only go by the evidence that we can sense. We don't know who's added you, or why. All we can see is the number.
Elementary, my dear DJC.
(DJChickie401) How about because I (and countless other women) have posted it? Just a shot in the dark....
Touché, kinda-sorta. Many women HAVE said it; but, you only speak for yourself, not the Female Hive-Mind!
How about you take all those women into consideration and find out if the one YOU are viewing is collecting favorites or has a lot of forum friends/strangers on her list by talking to her and finding out what she's about?
Naturally if she doesn't respond - then it's a moot point. You move on. Simple, simple.
True, dat. But, humans notice patterns of behaviour, and if there's a correlation between high fav counts, and the dreaded "read/delete/ignore", then the IGNORER cannot dictate what the IGNOREE concludes. Nor can any spectators, or advocates for one position or the other.
Simple, simple!
Arlo | |
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