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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/19/2008 5:08:23 PM | I'm not sure if this is about whether internet dating is good or bad for women-or men.
Quite honestly, humans are not naturally capable of making sound judgments about people in an electronic format. We can't even do it properly in person. I just take it for what it is-one option among much better one's. Major Thomas' suggestion is a good one. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/19/2008 6:40:57 PM |
" "Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women. Posted: 8/7/2007 2  14 AM You are right op. Look at it this way, what are you offering a girl you email? If your offering stds, infidelity, or a chance to waste her time or rob her purse or to try to cut her down, well heck, no guy or girl will ever respond to that. Except maybe to put you in line. The biggest phonies online are the sociopathic confidant CON-fid-ANT bs blow hard guys who lie and put up a fake front and say how great they are doing, yea sure, after they destroy all thier ex's lives and robbed and hurt everyone they ever met. Those guys usually have 5 kids, 2 ex wives, pay half thier piddly income in child support and yet they tout online how great they are all the while frantically lookin to see what woman has a purse or paycheck they can steal to pay for thier bills, debts and delusions, ie., thier Indiana dream farm or other dirt poor delusions they suffer. Face it op, a lot of bad thieving men muck and mud up the dating field for the good guys, giving the good men, a harder go of it. Take this time to reconsider what YOU are offering a girl. As for the braggart men who claim they are doing so great, if they are doing so great what the heck are they doing trolling on a broken hearts free online date site? The guys who say they are doing so great are usually desperado guys living in a pay phone booth or sociopaths just out of levenworth. I have talked to a couple of the braggart macho men on this site and they are in more financial ruin, are more screwed up, are more money hungry, and more kinniving then any women out there. Those are the bad eggs that muck up the dating field for everyone else. Offer substance and emotional security to a girl you email op and see if that helps you. God knows all the good looking women online and offline have heard enough of the no substance lines, lies and potshots the worthless bad guys spew 24/7. So if you want a response op, you have to rise above the muck the other guys are spewing down in thier liars pig pens. Pretty girls have heard all the worthless bullcarp shooters bullcarp lies 100 times over, so don't follow the bad guys braggart lies. Try sincerity and substance op, add some morality and a solid future and you may get a better response. You can't expect to get something of value and worth unless you have something of value and worth to give." "
excuse me but the preceeding post was ghostwritten for me and i wish it to be deleted
tyvm
ody | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/19/2008 6:50:05 PM | Don't get it, if this is all so horrible for you men (or women for that matter) then why are you on here wasting your time? Even if you only make some friends, chat, and learn/grow then what's so bad about that? Seriously, do you really think the rate of finding that perfect someone online is all that likely? I mean really? It's a pretty picture to paint but then let reality set in.
Here's a question - How many have become addicted to the forums? Kind of like their own personal interactive soap opera's? LOL | |
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| Internet dating: ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS!
Posted: 6/19/2008 7:14:03 PM | | Whoa, if you have 45 minutes to spend writing an introductory message to a total stranger, you probably have way too much time on your hands! In 45 minutes, you could take a dance class, a tennis lesson, or go out to dinner! The problem is not people failing to respond to e-mails. The problems it the stupid function on the site that lets you see when your e-mails have been read and/or deleted. I think if they could do away with this function, people would feel much less rejected. There is something about actually seeing the words "read/deleted" that is like a little mini-dagger going into your heart. Translation "You are a loser. You failed yet again." | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/21/2008 7:26:35 AM | | So true . . . sorry to say but height is one of the first things i look at. a small man makes me feel butch, if i see 5'7 / 5'8 i look no further! 5'10 - 6'3 being the prefered height for this 5'7 Lady. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/22/2008 6:59:50 AM | | If the way someone else looks or acts makes you feel insecure about yourself in some way then you have bigger issues than a couple of inches in difference between you and your date. I can feel just as attracted to tall women as I can to petite ones. This whole size gender thing is garbage anyway because I even find muscular women that can break me in half very attractive if we get along. lol. Why is this thread turning into yet another short bashing thread anyway? Do we really need another one of those? | |
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| Internet dating: ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS!
Posted: 6/22/2008 7:18:05 AM | The problems it the stupid function on the site that lets you see when your e-mails have been read and/or deleted. I think if they could do away with this function, people would feel much less rejected. There is something about actually seeing the words "read/deleted" that is like a little mini-dagger going into your heart. Translation "You are a loser. You failed yet again."
Yes....something I've noticed that makes this site unique "TMI" Too Much Information.
But I wonder if that was done deliberately? To tell people to "Take a hint, he/she is not interested and don't email them back"
1. Testimonials
2. The function in the favorites list - should that person even KNOW you've added them? Aren't you better off not knowing? | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/22/2008 2:49:58 PM | 5 foot 10 seems to be the lower limit specified by women of all heights. The problem is, the average American male is 5 foot 9... so the 5 foot 10 limit eliminates half the field right off the bat.
I noticed that many dating sites refuse to let people filter their matches on height... this one included. EHarmony, if I recall correctly, doesn't even tell you how tall the other person is... which means a woman can enter into a dialog with a man, discover she has much in common with him, spend a lot of time getting to know him on-line... only to finally discover that he doesn't even meet the minimum height requirement.
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/22/2008 3:08:39 PM | | That's so horrible. Imagine all of the perfect women on dating sites just trying to find SOMEONE that could possibly be as perfect as they are and then (shudder) he's an inch below the exact specification when the other 100 items on the perfect checklist matches up. What are all these perfect women to do??? My heart really goes out to them. (What the fu*k is wrong with our society???) | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/22/2008 4:51:47 PM | That's so horrible. Imagine all of the perfect women on dating sites just trying to find SOMEONE that could possibly be as perfect as they are and then (shudder) he's an inch below the exact specification when the other 100 items on the perfect checklist matches up. What are all these perfect women to do??? My heart really goes out to them. (What the fu*k is wrong with our society???)
This really isn't any different than getting to know a man (or a woman), having great conversation, having a lot in common, TELLING HIM THAT YOU ARE A LITTLE ON THE HEAVY SIDE (or whatever your physical trait is that you know members of the opposite sex generally have an issue with), and having him reject you on sight. All of the great conversations and flirting go right out the window, because you had the audacity to show up a little overweight (even though they claim to have no problem with this.)
At least in real life, they run away BEFORE you have a chance to find out how much you may have in common.....lol.......
This is NOT a man-bash......I think this happens to members of BOTH sexes...... | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/22/2008 5:44:19 PM | | People are starting to sound like a broken record comparing height and weight. It's a STUPID comparison. Someone's height doesn't make them unhealthy or different looking than the norm but being obese does. This comparison is a complete insult to shorter people since it implies that being short is the person's fault, a deformity and they should do something about it. The only comparison that would make any sense at all would be height vs breast size. Neither apply to me because I'm not shallow or dumb enough to judge a woman on height, breast size or weight. So glad I've resigned myself to never looking for anyone again since 90% of women just piss me off with these twisted ideas anyway. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/22/2008 6:11:34 PM | the problem i see is too many bitter adults and young people on here. come on its not that hard to meet some one in the real world. step out side the box. if just take a drive to your local grocery store and look a little harder you would run into all kinds of single people. going to the mall is for kids but going to department stores is another place. local city events, dave and busters, gas stations, then theres the beach. also friends and family can sometimes hook you up with some one. With todays information its a blog of words and too many players looking to hook up plus your pervs that make women sick to their stumac. Yes you guessed it too many people trying to rely on the web as a tool to be lazy to meet people. woman no this men do to. I have all but given up on this site. I have met one or two girls on this site and all had major problems. one tred to run a 300 dollar bartab on me on a first time meeting the other just wasnt interested because she would settle for less, lust both the same meaning. they say high standard but what it really means im not turned on enough for you because i lust for better. thus iswhy we have such a big divorce are and single parrents. Im old fashion and would rather make a friend and go the long route.
But the thing is not many people beleive in the old ways, too much lets do some test driving with out the keys and lets hot wire it. my answer to this problem is that this site charge a verification fee that checks your age. it cost 3 bucks but most wont pay for it and this will take half the guys off this site. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/22/2008 6:25:39 PM | (blueeyedgirl42) This really isn't any different than getting to know a man (or a woman), having great conversation, having a lot in common, TELLING HIM THAT YOU ARE A LITTLE ON THE HEAVY SIDE (or whatever your physical trait is that you know members of the opposite sex generally have an issue with), and having him reject you on sight. All of the great conversations and flirting go right out the window, because you had the audacity to show up a little overweight (even though they claim to have no problem with this.)
Sorry, but it's WAAAY different than the height thing.
You can lose pounds. You can't gain height.
Arlo  | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/22/2008 6:35:40 PM | To the ones who have said something about hight. I am 5ft 10. In my mid 20's i always dated girls that were 5ft to my hight. Never in my wildest dreams did i think i would ever date a midget. But, I did. The girl i speak of only came to my hip. But she was the cutest,sweetest girl i had ever known at the time. There was something about her that drew me to her. We had a lot of fun together and my friends at the time accepted her and hers mine. Moral of the story, What you want is one thing, What you need is another. What you need can come in any size or shape. Big, little, short or tall, Learn to get past what is seen and try to look deep enough to see what is hidden. You may never find what you need in the package you want. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/22/2008 7:08:41 PM | for guys: we might as well delete the profiles we will NEVER find someone or even get emails
for women: you are the gods here, you get emailed and added to favs like a virus, and emailed like the spammers who spam out inboxes.
just 4get it.................. | |
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DSJ_86
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Joined: 6/19/2008
Msg: 1843 | |
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/23/2008 2:21:19 AM | Before I signed up here, I was open to the concept of building a "relationship" with someone online, but after trying(and failing ) for the past two days, my outlook has changed.
In my short lived experience, I've learned that dating web sites attract two types of women---the shy, self-concious women who lack the proper skills to interact with men in real life, and those who have very high, if not unrealistic, expectations. The first group uses internet dating for obvious reasons( so they can boost their ego's by getting attention that they ususually don't get). The second group has such high standards that they simply won't "settle" for anything less than a guy with EXTREMELY good looks and a big bank account.
In both cases, setting up a profile online gives them a sense of fulfillment. Since they can't find "Mr. Right" at a bar, a club or through a mutual friend, the internet enables them to search, often times in vain, for the perfect guy. And in the process they can make themselves feel better by rejecting hundreds of potential mates. To reassure myself that my lack of luck wasn't due to a poorly written profile, I even composed creative and well thought out emails to obese women...still no replies...
I'm not upset about it though, it's just too hard to show your personality through Emails and IMs
It sucks for the men who aren't here just looking for sex, but that's online dating in a nut shell. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/23/2008 2:24:27 AM | Compactdisc,
First I haven't read through the 73+ pages here, just skipped to the last which is where I found yours.
From a females point of view, things aren't so hot either but maybe in different ways. I no longer am searching. I rarely view profiles anymore and usually only at the forum posters. I don't post a picture. I rarely got emails unless I made contact first, probably because of no picture. Even still the emails I did get often were either "Hi, how are you can I have a pic." from someone w/very little info and w or w/o pict, or it was sexual in content. I know from other's experience this would have been far worse if I did post a picture.
When I posted my profile I was not interested in hanging out, email/chats, intimitate encounters, casual sex, or dating. My interest was to find that person for the potential ltr I would like to have. Most men seem to be only looking for the physical aspect - atleast in what I have experienced.
So would you say that my experience has been so great? I wouldn't. I have changed my profile to friends and state that I am here for the forums. My email is still pretty much the same. I get ignored because I don't post my picture - is it shallow for men to do that? Gotta see if the girl is "hot" before contacting? It seems so. So instead of accusing women of being so shallow, try to take into consideration what we deal with. Also if you are only looking for "hot" women, well what do you expect? Do you contact women w/o picts? If so do you take time to get to know them at all before demanding a pict? Just a thought.
I read your profile. Can I offer some friendly advice? Try getting some feedback on the profile review forum. It's not very inviting, and yes women actually read the profile (most anyway) and will often decide on whether to contact or not based on what you've written. That is a big difference between men and women, men will contact based on pict, not so with women. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/23/2008 2:26:42 AM | DSJ
Would it be fair to lump all men into two catagories?
Those who are players and those who are abusive and bitter?
No because that isn't accurate and neither is your stereotyping. I am sorry you are having this problem but if you have that outlook that's all you'll see. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/23/2008 2:44:37 AM | Well I think that Internet dating is equally poor for both genders. While women may get the lions share of
attention they have to worry about the wolves coming through in sheeps clothing.
The crux of the issue is dishonesty. Eventually people don't believe what they're reading about a person because
it's been proven to them that most of that information is false. If we cannot trust what's written here then the benefits
of meeting online are severely diminished.
Me myself I have to go with what is in my heart. I've tried the OD experiment and for me it's yielded unsatisfactory results. I
think I'm going to end up torching any and all accounts that I have in a couple of months and banishing this time sink for good. I
prefer social interraction in person and meeting the "Old Fashioned" way. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/23/2008 2:48:49 AM | | Obsidian, I totally agree, that's why I am here for forums only now. What is the OD experiment? I do get alot out of the forums and believe that it will help me in my "old fashion" social interactions - or maybe not, but I still like them. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/23/2008 4:25:39 AM | | I realize that.....my POINT was that it sucks to have EVERYTHING click, and have one physical attribute be the deciding factor. I realize that you CAN do something about your weight and I'm working on mine..... | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/23/2008 4:44:53 AM |
I realize that.....my POINT was that it sucks to have EVERYTHING click, and have one physical attribute be the deciding factor. I realize that you CAN do something about your weight and I'm working on mine.....
I can't see ruling out someone who's close and actively seeking to get fit. You are certainly an attractive woman and the man that deserves you is one that earns your respect by supporting you. Fitness is something you cannot be forced into. It has to be a labor of love that you do for self. I've been there. I've counted Weight Watcher points with my gf and ate low cal meals and watched her shed 49 lbs. And you know the truth. She was nor more beautiful with the weight off..she was just thinner. Of course I saw her for more than external features so I was of course biased. She has the heart of a lioness and I knew she'd do what she needed to do.
Sometimes I wonder how much more shallow and vacuous our society can become. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/23/2008 4:51:03 AM | ^^^^^^^^^^^
Thank you for the compliment! I've been busting my butt at the gym for months....it's slow going, but I both feel and look better!
Good for you for supporting your gf! I think the most important thing any person needs when trying to make a huge life change is support from the people they care the most about.
That said.....I know I'm not going to be everyone's cup of tea....which is why I try to let someone know right up front that I have a few extra pounds (NOT, however the POF "few extra pounds")... ;)
Jill :) | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 6/23/2008 6:00:11 AM | I know a few women that I met through this site who admit to using it to go out with a guy just for a free meal and never talk to him again. So they do get free meals.
What if men were to stop dating? What would these types of women do? Not all do this but more than many women want to admit.
Also I know a few women view internet dating as a way to meet "Mr Perfect" The man with great looks and lots of money, they will go out with a guy once or twice and if he suggests going dutch she will not see the guy again. They say they will not settle and thre are lots of men on these sites so if a man is not just about perfect they move on to the next guy to date fir a few times. | |
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