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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/5/2008 3:32:53 AM |
If they expect Brad Pitt then we should expect Jessica Alba.
I see this comment a lot and I have to respond. I have friends who go on and on about their inner beauty but in reality, they are just as selective and do not date everyone who is interested in them. But when they are rejected, it is b/c the other person is shallow. They don't even see the absurdity of their views.
I do not think that because a man is not interested in me, he is looking for a super model. That's silly. It is all a matter of taste. Besides, why would I want to be with someone who doesn't find me attractive? And if they agreed to date me, is this somehow a noble gesture that I should be grateful for?
By the way, I'm not even attacted to Brad Pitt. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/5/2008 10:10:10 AM | curlyboop Said,
I'm not even attracted to Brad Pitt.
Me personally, I am not attracted to Jennifer Anniston either. Neither am i attracted to Angelina (fish lips) Jolie. I am attracted to real women with real bodies.
I do not think that because a man is not interested in me, he is looking for a super model. That's silly. It is all a matter of taste. Besides, why would I want to be with someone who doesn't find me attractive? And if they agreed to date me, is this somehow a noble gesture that I should be grateful for?
Here is what i think is wrong on this site. Everybody is to picky. Men and women. There all looking at a picture and deciding whether or not there attracted to this man or woman simply by what they look like instead of taking the time to get to know someone from the inside out. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/5/2008 11:41:19 AM | ^^^^^^^^
A couple of the men I've met online that I have been VERY attracted to didn't even post pictures. I got to know them by chatting and then talking to them on the phone before ever seeing them. That said......I was attracted to them because of what they had written in their profiles, and the way they presented themselves in chatting and talking to them on the phone. I would be lying if I said that I'm not attracted to a nice looking man, but looks are definitely not everything! | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/5/2008 4:59:28 PM | Will you guys quit ranting and raving about this site and your whole dating situation in general? I don't think most people, both males and females, really care! It's hard to believe this thread has generated such an overwhelming response and to see how many of you guys are simply down on your luck because of your romantic/sexual - or whatever the case maybe, err…..situation! You'll start being much more successful with women once you stop making this whole dating thing such a priority, set some dating rules for yourself and simply have some fun with females instead of taking things so seriously! Who cares if interactions don't lead to anything significant or even a reply from the other? Don’t let this place or females for that matter be the central, validating, factor in your life. Get the validation someplace else and make it so that females add more to your life, but are not the only thing IN YOUR LIFE. Get it?
Have to agree with ya wholeheartedly,Tigg... | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/5/2008 9:13:35 PM | blueeyedgirl I am so happy for you!!! YOU are THE ONLY female on POF up to this day that wants to accept, read, reply, answer, talk on the phone, and be soooo interested in a male whose profile posts absolutely NO PICS!!!!!!!!!!!!
Every other female clearly states on her PROFILE and here on the FORUMS:
NO PICS =NO REPLY AND NO INTEREST!!!
Hey Squall you stated: "Who cares if interactions don't lead to anything significant or
EVEN A REPLY from the other"? Also: "get the validation someplace else".
Let me give you a happy-go-lucky scenario that I want you to employ and follow, ok?
1. Put much, much time, thought, energy, effort, and want-to into POF sending emails
and creating a great profile.
2. Wait, wait, and wait for one decent male to send you one reply.
3. Change profile again to what you then think will spark their interest.
4. Cull any that you think at that point will NOT respond and AGAIN send out a different email to all you are attracted to, the nice, respectful, "average", males.
5. Again wait, wait, wait and be super patient until at last you receive that one interested email. Open and find that he is fat, obiese, bald, no teeth, and butt-ugly!!!
6. Rejoice and be forever thankful and joyful that you received ONE EMAIL!!! WOW!!!
7. Then read the above forum reply that I would post in the forums and you be
forever grateful to me for making your day a MOST HAPPY ONE!   | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/6/2008 1:20:03 AM | ever since joining this site, out of 100s of mails i have sent, perhaps only 20 have replied, so i have to agree that women have it easy when it comes to online dating.
Though some women have these problems too, with no replies.
But what i have noticed is that, when a woman is on 100+ favourite lists, i back off, cause i will NOT get a reply.
Also, alot of women that look VERY hot, tend to have next to nothing in their profile and they are on like 150 or so favourites.
I honestly prefer a nice long profile with no pic and just describe who they are, what they basically look like and thats good enough for me to reply.
I used to have a huge profile, telling stuff about me, my interests, what i do for fun, type of movies i watch, type of video games i play and so on, but since i had no pic at all on my profile, they automatically dub me the ugly guy, cause i have no profile and alot of women that ram pics down my throat without me asking for them, demand a pic from me, like they are royalty.
Its pretty stupid, i can be completely satisfied chatting to a picless woman, i only require a pic for when meeting is being discussed and thats only for identification purposes...wouldn't want to ask multiple people if they are (whatever the guy's or woman's profile was called).
But sadly, its have a pic or be deemed, ugly. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/6/2008 4:06:27 AM | For the record, I make first contact with a lot of "normal" guys and hardly any respond with even a "thanks or no thanks." Yea, I get "unread/deleted" too. This whole thing s a crap shoot and the more you put yourself out there, the more you will be rejected. But, people, you only need ONE person. To me, wadding through all this is worth it because I may find that person. If I don't try, I won't.
As for people being picky, you are looking for a person you may potentially have a relationship with so of course people are selective. But there are a lot of reason that a person is rejected (if you want to call it that) besides looks. Here are random reasons I've said "thanks, but no thanks" guys who contacted me:
-Lives too far away
-Drinks too much by own admission
-Has a yes or prefers not to say under drugs
-Has something offensive in profile
-Comes across rude or arrogant in profile
-Too young (I've heard from 19 year olds)
-Has something offensive to me in profile
-No common interests (one guy said he hated the theater, which is something I love)
-Sends me first contact email that just says "wassup?"
-Cut and paste email
-Marital status is separated (I've been burned too many times)
If you aren't gettng many responses, may I suggst you have your profile reviewed? I had mine and while I'm still getting no replies or turned down, I feel my profle better reflects me and gives me a better chance of finding my special guy. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/6/2008 5:01:21 AM |
It is deplorable how much it sucks for guys on dating sites for many reasons. There is usually a hugely uneven ratio of men vs women, with men in the great majority, so they are worthless dime a dozens.
If the truth be known Women put more effect in. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/6/2008 5:27:02 AM |
What is the problem with you people?????
And I am quite serious about that people are liars...
And I am quite serious about that people are liars...
People in general are liars... bottom line!
I don't know why I put myself through it, but I read your entire rambling post, including your sample message to your potential mate. Kind of made me want to slit my wrists by the time I got to the end.
I have to tell you I'm not lying when I say it's been a long time since I've read such a negative rant. You make it sound like being with you is something to be endured rather than enjoyed.
If a woman sent the above note to me it would take me exactly 2 lines before I reach for the delete key. Negativity, like desperation, is not a good smell to be wearing if you're looking for a date.
Lose the attitude and you might have a but more success, it's never a good plan to call your potential mate a liar. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/6/2008 6:10:25 AM | what you saying may be true for many men; its also true for us women.........i am an average woman trying ot meet a avearage guy online. i dont pick the best out there; i look at each picture and read each profile andi make my decisions on what he says not how he looks and i dont get tons of emails every day or even responses to mail i send out.............i also have a nice picture up and i respond to every email i get from anyone who contacts me..........i even wrote to a man in a wheelchair; cause i liked his profile and saw a geniuineness in his eyes; but even he did not reply back to me..........so see even the guys dont act right either..........it works both ways dear............just dont take things so personal...........every time i get on here i browse my city and my state and then i branch out to surrounding states and i send out mail and i still dont get mail and i check to see who has viewed me and i send them a ty for looking at my profile...........i try to be polite to everyone........i know i wont be popular but i am only looking for that one made for me; not put notches on my date book lol........i have had 3 dates so far. first one stood me up; second had 8 hands within 10 mins of meeting !! i would not put out so he dont speak to me........third one was nice but went back to ole girlfriend...........but i dont give up; my guy is out there..........recently met one i htought was a keeper; seems he only wants online sex with a mature older woman........duh.......... so dont blame the women; it happens to us all dear...... i even contact men who have no picture and dont say muchin profiles so see we are not all like those beauty queens you contact.............keep trying ; she is out there | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/6/2008 6:44:27 AM | I have been on this site for over a year now. I have had some that are really good guys and others (more than I expected) looking for cyber-sex. I am not your cyber-kitty and I don't care to play that game with someone I don't even know. 
It amazes me that so many young women are here complaining when I see lots of young men available and I have been e-mailed by some. I am NOT looking for a cougar cub. That brings me to the men my age (53).  Pickin's are slim at our age and so many carry emotional, physical and mental baggage you don't want to clean someone elses mess.
Is it too much to ask for someone who has a grip on their past, is honestly looking for a future (knowing the past has made them who they are without it dictating their future). Someone who is physically fit enough to get out and enjoy life and when they get home (or before) they can still enjoy the benefits of a commited relationship. Someone who is mentally stable enough to deal with the knocks life sends our way with an attitude of I will deal with it and life goes on.
Internet dating sucks whether you are male or female. That is why I have a life outside of here. This is a pleasant distraction but not my ONLY avenue to meet new people ..... Thank God  | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/6/2008 7:26:53 AM | CountryManIsGentle said:
blueeyedgirl I am so happy for you!!! YOU are THE ONLY female on POF up to this day that wants to accept, read, reply, answer, talk on the phone, and be soooo interested in a male whose profile posts absolutely NO PICS!!!!!!!!!!!!
I doubt THAT is true.....but some of the most interesting and attractive men that I've met online, I didn't see a picture of until after we had been talking for a while. They were (none of them) what I expected in terms of looks. They weren't horrible looking....just not what I expected. There is something to be said for getting to know the person BEFORE you see what they look like, but it can go both ways. I've chatted with guys with no pictures and been completely uninterested after a short conversation. There has to be some kind of spark, some interest there. But don't make me out to be a saint....LOL!! I can be attracted or not by a picture, too. I just find it interesting that by the time I saw what these guys looked like (and none of them might be what I would call "the Gillette man") it didn't matter to me what they looked like. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/6/2008 11:22:09 AM | | As for me i am not sending out any contact messages right now. I found someone the first month i was here and i have been seeing her ever since. One thing i would love to know is how does one know if there getting a cut and paste message? The only way i see that a person could know that they have gotten a cut and paste message is if they know another person who got the same message. Otherwise, How could you know? | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/6/2008 1:59:30 PM | ^^^^^^^^^^
I can answer this one. After I told him politely I wasn't interested, he sent me the EXACT SAME message....word for word.....about 4 days later. So when I responded with a subject line of "Nice cut and paste job" I was unread/deleted.....LOL!!!! | |
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Hewee
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Joined: 4/29/2008
Msg: 1966 | |
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/6/2008 3:48:41 PM | | internet dating isnt suited for normal guys actually... n its even worst for some1 like me... the ladies write all those criteria in their profile but it all crap... what they want is a guy who looks like brad pitt/george clooney not to mention caucasians... kind of sick of these crap now... u cant find decent ladies here as they're jus plain n shallow n they keep sayin theres no decent men around when they got cheated n hurt by their past relationships... if they gotta blame they should blame it on their selves 4 being so open towards those nice looking **stards/playboys who goes for nothing other than sex... | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/6/2008 4:37:34 PM | I beg to differ....It isn't all it's cracked up to be for women either.....Yes we get lots of messages but we have to learn to read between the lines or line (hey, you're hot...)  | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/6/2008 6:03:25 PM | | A cut and paste messages never use your name and are very generic. When I send an email, I make references to the users profile, photos and interest. It is tailored to each person to show what caught my eye and my interest. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/6/2008 7:36:36 PM | | OK, I get it, I think. Here is what it sounds like to me. You guys ain't got a chance. You guys say that you send messages to women that interest you and never get a response. Could it be that the women are finding your messages generic or boring? I know i must be one lucky guy because i met someone on here the first month i was here and so far we have hit it off well. It is like i have already said before in this pitiful thread. It just seems to me like the women are asking to much from a stranger on the Internet. It seems when i read through a lot of the post most of the women want a man they just met to jump through hoops just to get her attention. Men, Going by what the women say, They only want sex. It just seems kinda weird to me that a man can't message a woman on here with just a simple "Hello, Would you like to chat" and go from there and start a conversation. Guys have to write these big blown up messages to women that they have no idea who they are. The woman i have been seeing all i said to her to start with was "Hello". She said hello back. That was all it took to get it started and it's been going ever since. Seems simple to me. I do understand that the women who try to let a guy down easy that they are not interested in, When he turns around and sends a nasty message back, I can understand how that makes a woman not want to answer. But, On the other hand i can understand how a guy feels when he is ignored by every woman he messages. Seems to me the simple thing to do would be, As far as women go, Put it in your profile that you will not put up with any guy harassing you just because you turned him down. Maybe if you keep reporting them enough administration will finally do something about it. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/6/2008 7:48:36 PM | blueeyedgirl42 Said,
After I told him politely I wasn't interested, he sent me the EXACT SAME message....word for word.....about 4 days later. So when I responded with a subject line of "Nice cut and paste job" I was unread/deleted.....LOL!!!!
blueeyedgirl42, He must have been one real dumb a$$ or he was a scammer looking to pull a fast one on somebody. Scam artist tend to send the same generic e-mails to thousands of people. Sometimes they just forget who they send out to. But, Most likely he was some player just looking for a easy score that doesn't have enough game about him to sit down and write something to you. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/6/2008 8:01:24 PM | SO, WE ARE ALL CRYING IN OUR BEER . . . .
Yes, I met a man 3 years ago on another site, we did fall in love, he lost his job, got another job in CA but it was not enough money for me to move out there with him and support both of us. So, here I am and he found someone else.
Sometimes we get lucky. Get a good picture and create a good essay that actually says something. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/7/2008 11:20:50 AM | You got lucky alright, you didn't have to move to Kalifornia!!
If a guy is reasonably intelligent, nice, felony-free, and is in decent physical condition and doesn't look like something the cat drug in after a car crash...he should be able to find not only plenty of dates, but a good Mate or two in the bunch. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/7/2008 12:06:00 PM | Well I must say I've had just 3 PoF dates and
every single woman has been fun to talk to and
kind. I do tend to think a lot of people have some
latent negativity and if they could erase that they'd
probably find themselves attracting more people. no one
wants to date a sourpus.
Internet dating is not easy but in reality its not harder than
meeting people the regular way. The real issue with PoF is
ascertaining level of interest.
"Did she add me to her favorites because she likes me or my posts?"
" Did she check me out because she was curious or is there interest?"
"Was her friendly email just that or an invitation for me to ask more?"
I think that PoF would take a nice leap forward if they find a way of letting
people know the interest goes beyond just passing through. After all in real
life it's about that glance and smile. How do we do a "virtual" glance and smile
here?
O | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 7/7/2008 12:15:29 PM | Virtual Glance...blah.
When I send an intro email I just chat like I was meeting someone at a party. Either they respond or they don't...Sometimes during a convo you say something the other doesn't like and they Move On (Example: offering BBQ to a vegan) ...so you just keep on truckin too. Sooner or later you will find someone that you enjoy spending time with, and they feel the same...and Thar Ya Go! | |
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