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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 3/28/2006 5:38:37 PM | | BTW, I normally don't call someone out publicly like I did to sayonara7, and maybe that was inappropriate, but I just wanted to make a point, since I've seen this sort of thing happen to good guys everywhere, both online and in person. It's a perfect example of why internet dating (and dating in general) can suck for decent guys. I sometimes feel like dating would be a whole lot easier if I actually were looking for sex, since I would probably have a lot lower standards then too. I just don't think I'd be really happy with that either, so it's not worth it. Anyway, I guess I'm in a ranting mood tonight, so I should probably just shut up now. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 3/28/2006 5:42:04 PM | Look Voronwe13, I probably did sound mean and rude to you, but that wasn't on purpose, I'm in the habit of deleting emails that ask me out.So, I am sorry.You don't have to rant anymore because I am sorry if I sounded disrespectful by any means.I still hope you find someone nice,sweet and honest.That's it.Have a great night! | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 3/28/2006 5:44:16 PM | I've thought about this.
In all the "obvious" places to meet women (bars, online dating, etc), men tend to vastly outnumber women, and as a result, women have lots of choice whereas men tend to be satisfied with the scraps.
It's a question of numbers. However, what if the situation was reversed? What if I had tons of unattractive, crude, stupid, and just downright unpleasant women aggressively hitting on me? Would I enjoy it? Hell no!
One cool thing about being a guy is I can go to a bar on my own for drinks, and people will leave me the hell alone. I can sit there in solitude and privacy and just enjoy a quiet moment with a beer.
So, given the choice, I definitely prefer being a guy. Yeah, I'm probably missing out on lots of sex, but the hassles involved in getting it as well. Life is far less complicated being single. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 3/28/2006 5:49:38 PM | | Thank you Wordwizard...that's exactly what I mean, being a guy no one is going to hit on you, and even if a woman did, that would probably be a compliment or if not then just annoying but not insulting...but when men hit on women, it's downright insulting...that's why so many emails get deleted by women when they "think" that the man is hitting on them, even if he is actually a nice guy.Not the woman's fault but neither is it the nice guy's fault, it's just a consequence of some stupid experience with men that are downright jerks. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 3/28/2006 5:57:29 PM | No harm done sayonara7. I normally don't take things personally, and I know you weren't trying to be rude. I'll take some of your advice in mind in the future. However, please (and this goes for anyone looking for a decent guy) take my advice to not just dismiss emails that happen to even mention hanging out or meeting... I mean, ultimately that's what dating sites are for, right? Most people aren't here just for internet friends... Just because someone mentions it doesn't mean they want to meet right away without chatting first, and it certainly doesn't mean they're looking for sex. Most people that are looking for sex will either state it clearly, or will have something indicating it in their profile somewhere.
Oops, I went back into rant mode... Okay, I think that's enough for me now :) | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 3/28/2006 6:09:03 PM | | Oh, and the situation does sometimes go the other way around... on some other sites I've been on, I've been hit on by very unattractive older women (like, much older) who in many ways (not just age or attractiveness) are not what I'm looking for. I'll usually respond out of politeness. Fortunately, women don't ask for sex like I'm told guys do, so it's a lot easier to be polite... I'd probably ignore an email too if it asked for sex. So I'm with you women there. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 3/30/2006 12:52:55 AM |
...that's exactly what I mean, being a guy no one is going to hit on you
So what are we men on this dating site for then sayonara? Yall dont need us, what are we doing?
ps: yall two are beginning to flood the thread, please stop posting so many | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 3/30/2006 9:13:19 AM | | Hey Mr. airtight, stop being so uptight!That thread and the discussion was posted 2 or 3 days ago and it was over for me until you brought it up again and I am writing on the same forum again. now,UGH.How do I know what you men are doing on a dating site, maybe hitting on men if you are gay I guess, nothing wrong with that, the thing about men hitting on women was about ME not about all women, I don't like when they do that, so I posted it , are we clear?Besides, I'm sure no woman would really like it if the guy hit on her in the first email and all I hear in the forums is men complaining about not getting responses.If you just look at the person's profile for once and not email them just because of their picture, I'm sure you'd get a lot of responses.Thanks! | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 3/30/2006 9:23:37 AM | You could be the nicest guy ever, but asking someone out on the first email that you send just proves you're after sex and nothing else.
I disagree. What is wrong with the guy asking about going hiking sometime? Just because he suggest doing something in the first e-mail doesn't mean he wants just sex. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 3/30/2006 9:50:16 AM | | oh really...alright...take this scenario....hiking.....isolation....alone....jungle..mountains.....trail where you can't find a living soul walking by.....now if someone (no matter how nice)asks you to go out with him in the first email, it's definately not advisable, is it?Would you want that for your daughter?I hope not because if you did, you'd be a crazy dad.I'm sure men wouldn't mind, but women ought to be more careful, because internet dating is a scary thing, for all you know the person your talking to might be a criminal.I don't know and care about other women, but it's just the way I think, you can be as hot as Brad Pitt or as kind and honest as Gandhi, but I don't know a thing about you in the first email, so I'd delete your email naturally.I'm not being mean, it's just the right thing to do.Are we clear?I hope so. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 4/14/2006 5:48:49 AM | think too many women still bitter use it as i coffee morning and dont have a clue wat they want us guys put with so much sh*t lol its still a blind date till u meet and women lie to looks and size lol and married lol you's are just as bad. and should never fall for some words and picture took ten year ago lol. lol when go on a date it not a trip to the see the shrink. hehe lighten up people .   | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 4/14/2006 6:05:14 AM | Generally speaking, as I understand there are more men than women here. It may vary by area, or age group or other demographic.
The women tend to get frustrated with the guys who just mass email without a peek at the profile. The guys get ticked because women don't respond. That's the basic ying and yang of it. I guess it would appear and maybe women do have some advantage because there are more men. Nothing anyone can do about that, most dating sites are mostly men. Just a fact. We all have to deal with it. I still get email from guys wanting to meet, even though I'm clearly involved and have been since October. I'm here for the forums only. So I put up with the emails from guys that don't take a PEEK at my profile. The guys that write and don't get a response have to keep writing or just take their profile down and leave. If you get too frustrated it's better to step away, because a bad attitude will certainly show through. If you're not having fun, take some time away, even a day or two. Or try something different, change your parameters. And do sample all the different forums, there's lots of great stuff here and many interesting people. The forums are a GREAT way to get to know someone and you may get to know someone who turns out to be your dream come true!! Many of us have!! | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 4/15/2006 3:00:52 PM | Hey Kitty--
>>how is it any better for us women sometimes??<<
I think you both are correct. Yes, the ratio of men to women is very daunting, and all a reasonably attractive female has to do is post a hot picture and watch the responses roll in by the dozens. It's pretty doggone intimidating to write to someone who appears on 50+ favorites lists. I appear on exactly one woman's list, and when I wrote to her I got no reply! LOL
On the other hand I see your point and sympathize. Many of them aren't *quality* responses; with all the pervs and the weirdos & ones trying to cheat on their wives, the truly sincere and good men get lumped in with them. I know that if I was a woman and all I got in my inbox was pictures of mens' private parts I'd be pretty turned off too. Creeps like that ruin things for us good guys.
I do think men have the worst time of things though, just because of the numbers, and the way humans are evolved. Men do the chasing and women do the running away until caught. It's just the way things are; always has been and always will be. Women don't usually initiate contact, so it's up to the male of the species to stick his neck out there on the rejection chopping block first. After a while some men just give up trying, just as women who're disgusted by the behavior of the bad men give up answering. And the cycle continues... | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 4/15/2006 3:38:56 PM | What's up with the title of this thread. It should simply be 'Dating, sucks for guys, good for women!'
Well, maybe except for the women who don't use their advantage. But I know some don't want to. Just realize ladies, you have the advantage if you want to take it!
...I just made a bunch of guys angry. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 4/15/2006 3:51:05 PM | Now when it comes to internet dating, men will be forward to women in messages and the women get tons of messages sent to them and after she reads say 5 of them and they all are more or less wanting to hook up, she will get pissed off and delete the others more than likely because of this. But all in all sure the women hold the cards in the internet dating world. They outnumber us more than likely on here, but in a bar? We do outnunber them and sadly they get hit on way too much when they are trying to enjoy the night with friends.
Funny I think back to when I was in Vegas earlier this year. First time I went to a bar on my own in my life. I didn't know how I would feel, at first I felt a little uncomfortable thinking "I bet I look like some loser in here" because I never have done it before.
After about 40 minutes I felt comfortable and was sitting at the bar talking to the bartender and told her where I was from.
Now I have never had a woman approach me in my life and yet I did there as the woman beside me happened to overhear me say I was from Canada. She then struck up a conversation with me...I was shocked. Didn't know what to say. And I never hot on her one bit, conversed with her for a while. Her friends were busy "hooking up" with some guys they met, she was not interested in the one guy so sat by the bar. I said to her "So why is it that you chose not to join in on the fun with your friends" and she said "I had enough of the guys wanting one thing, you seem decent and minding your own business. I overheard you talking to the bartender and realized you were solo here." | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 4/15/2006 4:13:00 PM | | Yeah? I've actually never gone to a bar because I don't have a group to go with and thought it would be akward to just be there by myself. That nad I've heard that most times girls there are in groups and don't want guys randomly striking up conversations with them. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 4/16/2006 4:55:23 PM | | I have to agree it's not easy going to a bar alone...unless you do know someone there. And on this site you can't even get someone to email back, you say hi and you get NOTHING........ | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 4/17/2006 6:40:28 PM | Internet dating is bad for some guys but great for others.
Personally I don't think its too good for me. I have no real problem meeting people in person but online I always seem to come across like a**** because I am very comfortable typing and my sense of humour is different than most. Plus I never smile in pictures, my profile ones are the only ones I have where I don't look like a serial killer, or so I'm told. I have a friend who is in the exact opposite situation though. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 4/17/2006 9:45:31 PM | it is great for women in the way that they get to pick from a ton of men pursuing them..but bad for them because there is a large margin for error on picking and meeting the wrong men.
Good for the good looking guys as they can get many women responding to thier messages and bad for me when they are average looking or have no confidence from being rejected all the time.
So ya it evens out for both genders. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 4/17/2006 10:40:57 PM |
Generally speaking, as I understand there are more men than women here. It may vary by area, or age group or other demographic.
The women tend to get frustrated with the guys who just mass email without a peek at the profile. The guys get ticked because women don't respond. That's the basic ying and yang of it. I guess it would appear and maybe women do have some advantage because there are more men. Nothing anyone can do about that, most dating sites are mostly men. Just a fact. We all have to deal with it. I still get email from guys wanting to meet, even though I'm clearly involved and have been since October. I'm here for the forums only. So I put up with the emails from guys that don't take a PEEK at my profile. The guys that write and don't get a response have to keep writing or just take their profile down and leave. If you get too frustrated it's better to step away, because a bad attitude will certainly show through. If you're not having fun, take some time away, even a day or two. Or try something different, change your parameters. And do sample all the different forums, there's lots of great stuff here and many interesting people. The forums are a GREAT way to get to know someone and you may get to know someone who turns out to be your dream come true!! Many of us have!!
Good points, but the thing is, i do take time to read profiles and i only contact the ones i find have interests which jive with mine, i write decent messages, but it doesn't matter. Though someone did contact me and i'm hoping to hear from her again, she seemed really nice. But i won't be surprised if i don't. | |
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