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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 11/8/2008 11:30:10 AM | And dont come and tell me that its the same for women too because that is bull sh it.
not bullshit. I am a very attractive blonde slim woman and I emailed aint no telling how many men and got no responses. so that throws your theory out the window. however after being here for two yrs or so I finally did get a response and he and I got married two weeks ago. Point is dont give up. good luck to you | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 11/9/2008 8:20:50 PM | He does have apoint but women do it to post false pics me I don nt date anymore online cruise the forms have the od chat Went on 6 dates none where like there prophile or there pic women claiming she was 38 told me over coffee she was 51 mmmmmmmmmmm alot of married women us this internet thing for attention lots of reason Me I decided single is good. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 11/9/2008 10:30:44 PM | Yeah I have to agree with the huge uneven ration of men to women on this site. On top of that, only a small handful are genuine about actually meeting someone, while the rest are just attention seeking. They don't search, they don't read profiles, and as you rightly pointed out for them its just an ego boosting exercise. But its your own fault if you cannot read their profile and work that out for yourself, instead of getting sucked into sending out a dozen emails. And besides if you looked at their profile pic more closely you would have noticed most are just ordinary women with one or two good photos who you probably wouldn't give a second look in the real world.
I suggest you don't email anyone who hasn't at least looked at your profile. That's what I do, and my profile pic is ordinary and doesn't do me justice and i probably should change it but why should i, as so far I've met a number of interesting women and been on a couple of dates. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 11/10/2008 3:32:12 AM | So...who are the women dating, if it only sucks for the guys? Are the women dating just women? That's silly!
I send mail, and I dont always get the response I would like either...suck it up! Not everyone you see is going to see you in the same light as you see them. It's just life. Does every woman you see on the street chase after you for a date? No different here. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 11/10/2008 11:20:25 AM | This thread is 3 years old. Whoooooooooooooo.
How much luck do women have, anyway? I've been on this site for nearly 2 months, and so far found NADA. I have idiots hitting me up, toying with my emotions, and so on.
A lot of us have no luck as well! | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 11/10/2008 3:02:06 PM | | This stupid thread is still going! Geez, I am beginning to think that i am the only one on here that has any luck with the ladies. Listen folks and let me bring you back to reality. Sure, Not every woman is gonna answer your messages. Sure, There are plenty of people here just looking for attention that aren't for real. But if you constantly get turned down and can't seem to get anywhere maybe you need to look at the person in mirror and make sure you are who you say you are in your profile. In other words stop blaming everyone else because you can't get a woman to answer you. Maybe you should look at how your profile is written. Maybe you should look at how you present yourself to other people when you write them. Sure, I've been turned down, Sure, I have been ignored by the ones that are to ill mannered to return a message but i am not going to get on a three year old thread and cry about it. I don't expect every woman to like me. If they did that would make me a player, Something i am not. I am only looking for one. That one special woman that gets me. So that makes the women that ignore me or are to ill mannered to answer a nice message, They don't matter. This place is full of freaks and weirdos. They don't matter either. Meeting women here is no harder than meeting a woman in a bar, on the street or in your favorite grocery store. It's all up to you and what your attitude is. My attitude is every woman who ignores me or is to ill mannered to return a nice message, Or who turns out to be a freak or weirdo, Puts me closer to the right one for me. Sorry, You gotta go through the bad to get to the good. I have met some nice women here. Been out on some dates that i will always hold dear in my memory. Shes out there. I will either find her or she will find me. If it never happens i will still be happy. The ride has been fun for me so far. For all of you that want to cry in your beer, Well, Get off you pity pot and look at yourself and you might find the problem. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 11/12/2008 2:27:01 AM | Or...ya meet a lady,perfect for someone. Are ya perfect for her?
Best evidence:are you'all more than the sum of your parts?
If,like a cousion & I,you brought dynamite and she the match...
" ya lift the other just a bit higher just a little bit more" hold on tight.
Odds are 20%,as ladies see thru our profiles :find us in spite of ourselves...
The ladies civilise us.Men'd get wasted &shoot men.
Ladies who say "don't wanna be mean,but I don't wanna ?because-and she tells ya how to be more the good in me/you-that's good stuff. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 11/12/2008 9:22:12 AM |
This stupid thread is still going! Geez, I am beginning to think that i am the only one on here that has any luck with the ladies. Listen folks and let me bring you back to reality. Sure, Not every woman is gonna answer your messages. Sure, There are plenty of people here just looking for attention that aren't for real. But if you constantly get turned down and can't seem to get anywhere maybe you need to look at the person in mirror and make sure you are who you say you are in your profile. In other words stop blaming everyone else because you can't get a woman to answer you. Maybe you should look at how your profile is written.
Maybe you should look at how you present yourself to other people when you write them. Sure, I've been turned down, Sure, I have been ignored by the ones that are to ill mannered to return a message but i am not going to get on a three year old thread and cry about it. I don't expect every woman to like me. If they did that would make me a player, Something i am not. I am only looking for one.
That one special woman that gets me. So that makes the women that ignore me or are to ill mannered to answer a nice message, They don't matter. This place is full of freaks and weirdos. They don't matter either. Meeting women here is no harder than meeting a woman in a bar, on the street or in your favorite grocery store. It's all up to you and what your attitude is. My attitude is every woman who ignores me or is to ill mannered to return a nice message, Or who turns out to be a freak or weirdo, Puts me closer to the right one for me.
Sorry, You gotta go through the bad to get to the good. I have met some nice women here. Been out on some dates that i will always hold dear in my memory. Shes out there. I will either find her or she will find me. If it never happens i will still be happy. The ride has been fun for me so far. For all of you that want to cry in your beer, Well, Get off you pity pot and look at yourself and you might find the problem.
1. Either making up the fact that you're such a casanova with all these responses
2. It's location, location, location...perhaps you live in an area that has alot of women willing to accept you for you? Friend of mine where he lives now, wishes he was back in another state (up in New England) claimed that the women here are total snobs, but up there, they are open to guys approaching them in public , sometimes even THEY make the first move.
3. If tons of men on this thread are having the same problem (read/deletes) being ignored, even by even the plain looking women....it might be the the fact that it's the whole "online gig being a different environement in real life"
I've had better success with the ladies when out in public than on here....online dating sites made it look like "kids in a candy store" mentality.
"OH...he's got a tan" oh wait....that one over there' , he's got money....oh wait...that one over there, he has a sense of humor and money
It's the "Grass is always greener" mentality...10 fold. | |
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olydad
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Joined: 11/3/2008
Msg: 2312 | |
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 11/12/2008 10:52:28 AM | that is intersting, thought of that. its amazing... They are just as superficial as they think we are. And most of their headlines say stuff like, 'looking for my soulmate' or 'looking for my best friend' .
also notice that the ones with 200 favorites often get arrogant and a big head in their write up, with stuff like, 'dont get mad if i dont get back right away'
This whole thing is bizare. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 11/12/2008 11:50:54 AM | ohh you baby.
You probably don't come off very interesting in your profile, that or like a lot of guys, your bitterness shows. That's extrememly unattractive. You need more than looks to get by in the dating world. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 11/12/2008 12:27:14 PM | Dating sights can be interested, depressing and good from some and not so good for others. But lets face it..We are mostly on the site to find that one connection and it is hard. We pretend to say onething on a profile and act different when we interact with each other.
I did meet my wife on a dating site and proud to say that. But like others I have my ups and downs. I had little or no responses. But when it is meant to be it will happen. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 11/12/2008 3:34:03 PM |
1. Either making up the fact that you're such a Casanova with all these responses
I am not making up anything. I don't have to. You must not have read my post very clearly. I said i also get turned down for all the reasons other men do. I just don't go around crying about it. Also i do get dates here. As a matter of fact i have had a good time so far. I think most of the reason for it is not because i am some sort of Casanova, No, It's because i am a gentleman and i treat the women i contact or the ones that contact me like ladies. I can sit here and talk to them for hours or on the phone and have a good time without having to ask stupid questions or do something stupid that makes her run. Like "What size bra do you ware" How big is your tits" or sending her pictures of my penis. Also making her feel like she is worth more to me than just a piece of p.u.s.s.y.......The women here, I've learned from them, The ones that are tired of men treating them like there nothing but a fu69 buddy. They can actually go out with me and relax and have a good time. I let things happen naturally and i don't push things and try to make it happen. Maybe that is why the women like me. If nothing happens between us she still has a friend that knows how to treat her like she is more than a piece of meat. Maybe they also like the fact that they don't have to hit me in the head with a brick to get me to go away. If a woman doesn't want to talk to me i move on and find one that will. If a woman doesn't want me i don't get on a 3 year old thread and cry about it.
2. It's location, location, location...perhaps you live in an area that has a lot of women willing to accept you for you? Friend of mine where he lives now, wishes he was back in another state (up in New England) claimed that the women here are total snobs, but up there, they are open to guys approaching them in public , sometimes even THEY make the first move.
Sorry, Wrong again. I live in a town (In Georgia) so small that if you blink as you pass through you will miss it. The simple fact is on these dating sites if your not willing to go farther than you back door you will get no where.
If tons of men on this thread are having the same problem (read/deletes) being ignored, even by even the plain looking women....it might be the the fact that it's the whole "on line gig being a different environment in real life"
Sorry, Wrong again, I am gonna step on some toes here. It wouldn't be me it i didn't. The reason there are so many men that are getting so many read/delete, Well, See the first paragraph above. Also, Like a lot of other people here, There writing challenged. Some of them seem to only know two words, "Wanna Chat". Read there profile and stop just looking at the pretty pictures. When you write have something to say besides "Wanna Chat" or "How big is your tits" If your the type that writes and still get turned down don't turn around a write a steaming message back to her about how big a s.l.u.t she is for turning you down. Be a man, Take it like a man and move on. If your constantly getting turned down look at yourself. Look at your profile and what it says about you. Most women require more than two or three words or sentences to tell them about you. Remember, The way to get a woman is through her ears. Write to her mind not her body.
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 11/12/2008 3:51:48 PM |
If tons of men on this thread are having the same problem (read/deletes) being ignored, even by even the plain looking women....it might be the the fact that it's the whole "on line gig being a different environment in real life"
I also forgot to say, This place is no different than on the street or a bar as far as talking to the women go. If you don't know how to talk to them here or there you will go bust. The main problem here is the men who think it's cool to say nasty things to a woman who turns him down. It has caused a backlash. Women seem to think that it's OK to ignore a guy there not interested in simply because there have been so many men who have been nasty when writing them. They think it's a good excuse. I say it's bullshyt. Two wrongs don't make a right. I am not going to say to much about this on this thread because there is already a thread going about this very thing that i have already posted to. Go see it. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 11/12/2008 4:16:33 PM | | Maybe you need some information to help you? There are a lot of sites that offer help for men to meet women. The best one I have found and used is this one. http://www.productsupplycenter.com/web130386/ It has the most information you'll ever find anywhere. I recommend this to any guy hoping to find the right woman. Give it a try! | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 11/12/2008 6:33:12 PM | Sorry, Wrong again, I am gonna step on some toes here. It wouldn't be me it i didn't. The reason there are so many men that are getting so many read/delete, Well, See the first paragraph above. Also, Like a lot of other people here, There writing challenged. Some of them seem to only know two words, "Wanna Chat". Read there profile and stop just looking at the pretty pictures. When you write have something to say besides "Wanna Chat" or "How big is your tits" If your the type that writes and still get turned down don't turn around a write a steaming message back to her about how big a s.l.u.t she is for turning you down. Be a man, Take it like a man and move on. If your constantly getting turned down look at yourself. Look at your profile and what it says about you. Most women require more than two or three words or sentences to tell them about you. Remember, The way to get a woman is through her ears. Write to her mind not her body.
From what you described about the writing challenged men...I am far from that. I never do such things....I have composed rather well-written emails to women, only to have them ignored immediately, and I have heard other men, decent, who wrote well presented emails only to have them ignored. No "Wanna chat" emails.
OR...if I do happen to catch a woman's attention on here....they pull a disappearing act after a few emails.
You are indeed wrong about comparing the online to the real world of dating.
For one, you don't have the interactions, body language, and mannerisms as you would in real life at a public place like a church, mall or bookstore. There is a significant difference, there's nothing you can tell me that could convince me otherwise.
It's just that there's so many options available on here.
You'd be suprised how many of the same faces of the ladies I've seen on dating sites that have ignored me...and I kind of chuckle saying, "man, they're STILL on here...a year later? Why don't they just give it up, they probably rejected every man in their region that's ever emailed them."
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 11/12/2008 7:33:33 PM | I am just responding to this topic in general from my experience of being on 2 websites for over a year and not to a specific response. When I initiated contact, I would write a few sentences with a couple of questions about them and receive an answer to one at most. I am generalizing of course as there always exceptions but in general I found these items to be true!
I probably went on thirty dates or so and easily eliminated 50% of them just from their dishonest posted photos! Photos of them much younger and slimmer, saying they had an average body and were actually overweight! I cannot handle dishonesty and wondered what else they could be deceitful about!
The other 50% of website women would tell me to please hang in there if they did not get back to me right away! I met someone who we exchanged many emails and a few phone conversations and a date and I thought she got me like no other person I had ever met-especially my sense of humor and she alwasy commented how funny I was which is very important to a man! However, I had to wait and wait for her to go through all her potential suitors and I do not wish to compete for someone's affection.
I then had a relationship with someone who just was satisfied with seeing each other once or twice a week. Well to me that is dating and not building a relationship. So the relationship was put on hold and we went back to just dating and seeing others. Low and behold, I saw her emails one day on her computer and she had over 40 emails in one day from POF guys! No wonder women are on here for over a year!!!! Now I know why that one that told me to please stay in contact and apologized often for taking so long to reply back! She was not the only one either!
Well fortunately for me I met someone and she was NOT on a website-thankfully! I did not have to compete with 40 other guys for her attention and we are in our fourth month of seeing each other! I hope that everyone finds their special someone but I was so disappointed in website dating but have found that there are those who don't rush home for that addiction fix of seeing who emailed them today! | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 11/12/2008 9:07:36 PM | | When I was actively participating and after several rewrites of my profile and some decent up to date photos I began receiving two or three emails a week from interested women on each of the three internet dating sites I belonged to. Though most were nice, they were not what I was looking for. My luck at soliciting responses from initiated contact fared about one response for every ten sent. Those that went on to phone calls fewer and those that I actually met fewer yet and of those I have met one that is my match. We have the license, we have the rings, we'll be Mr&Mrs very shortly. So take heart be persistent it takes work rewrite that profile get some decent pictures and be a gentlemen with the ladies and good luck. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 11/12/2008 11:51:56 PM | I've been doing online dating on and off for 3 or 4 years and have had a couple of good medium term relationships (6 months - 2 years). I would agree with a lot of what both sides of this thread have been saying, the ratio of men to women is bad, but once you remove all the guys who can't string together a coherent sentence or write to a woman in a respectful manner the ratio becomes much better. I can also understand how hard it can be for the women, face it guys, only the top few percent of the women are getting nearly the number of messages you think. Look at the number of profiles in your age range in your area and guess what percent you've sent to. On top of that they have to put up with obscene messages, threats, and for the younger women messages from men old enough to be their grandfather.
As far as suggestions for being successful that haven't already been mentioned, here are some things I've noticed:
First - You are unlikely to get a response from someone who has been on here a long time. Maybe they are too swamped, maybe they are picky, maybe they are too busy in life, maybe online dating has worn them down and their filters have become really high, maybe they are here for the forums and don't want to date. Point is in all the time I've online dated I've only managed to get a couple of actual dates with women that have been on the sites more than a couple of months. The two relationships I've had from online along with the majority dates were all cases where I messaged the woman within a few days of her making the profile.
Second - I know a lot of people like to email a lot and chat for a long time before meeting, but I have never found these types of situations to end in a date. I've chatted with people for months on end and they always wanted to talk, with some there would be an hour or two of IMing a night, but when time came to make a date they never would. If a woman isn't ready to talk on the phone or meet in person within two or three weeks it'll never happen. (This fits a lot of them women from my first point).
Third and Final - hang in there, I've had it take a year and a half with multi-month dry spells, keep messaging new people, be courteous and polite, show interest in them and their profile and it will eventually happen, change your profile occasionally, look at other mens profiles and see what their doing, be unique, but no matter what don't let it get to you when it takes a while. And as part of this expect to get a return message ratio of around 1 in 10. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 11/13/2008 1:16:00 AM | RE MSG 2319
radiusman, Listen man, I am not trying to be a d.i.c.k or hard on you or anything. But here is what i see wrong
(1) No picture, That in it's self is the kiss of death with most women on here. Yes, It is shallow to be that way but it will not change a thing to gripe about it. Post some pictures so women won't think your hiding something.
Kiss of death #
(2) There is absolutely nothing in your profile about you. It's pretty much blank. What do you think the women are going to do when you write them and they go to your profile and see a page that is pretty well blank? Fall all over themselves trying to beat other women to you? NOT! D.a.m.n man, Your killing your own chances, Cutting your own throat.
(3) You have only been here 7 days and are gripping about how bad it is. I don't mean this to sound like i am bragging. I have been here a year. In that year i had 7 dates. Out of those 7 one lasted 4 months. In the past 8 months i have been out with 6 different women and i had a date every weekend. One of them i had to end it because of personal things. The other 6, I still know them and i am friends with all of them. I've moved on and have started talking to another one on the phone and it looks like it will be somewhere around DEC, 3rd before i meet her. I'm in no hurry, I don't push. If it works it works and if it don't it don't. Move on to the next. What i am trying to say is whether you fail or succeed at this on line dating thing is up to you. It's no one else's fault. It's all in how you present yourself and set yourself apart from the others. Write a profile that sets you apart from all the other big swinging d.i.c.k.s on here and you will see for yourself. There will be no reason to change your profile over and over if it's done right to start with. It has to have mass appeal. It is not how much you write, But what you write and does it appeal to your target audience. Maybe you will figure it out.
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 11/13/2008 4:03:18 AM | To clarify , as it says in my profile, I'm here for the forums...nothing more. I have been on OTHER dating sites quite a long time. So my profile on THIS site is irrelevant, in fact, I saw the same women as I did before, and I am not interested in meeting women here on this dating site.
"Just here for the forums" ;-) So that covers 1 & 2.
I am guessing, also.... it's probably your age range....the older single people get, the less picky people get about looks, height, male pattern baldness, etc. They figure, "Well, my 'adonis' is not going to come, I guess...time to start being more realistic, and "settle" on the guy who does not have washboard abs, or date the 5'9" guy.
Also, if you go to singles functions at certain places, like a church singles social.....I did that one time....and was suprised to ONLY see people in their late 40's to the golden years. I was the only young pup there. lol Was rather awkward actually. I bolted out of there early. Guess they start to realize their mortality or get the whole "empty nest" syndrome when the kids move out of the house.....simply, they just get lonely the older they get.
Eddie...actually kind of suprised they responded to a low-quality grainy photo, and just a couple of webcam headshots. Low lighting as well. You need to get some hi-rez photos on here.
You are unlikely to get a response from someone who has been on here a long time.
This is VERY true....I had at least gotten responses from BRAND NEW ads from the ladies....the "Veterans" have been here so long that they are like "ho hum" about it by n ow. So if you're lucky enough to see the "new girl in town", better strike while the iron's hot. lol
Point is in all the time I've online dated I've only managed to get a couple of actual dates with women that have been on the sites more than a couple of months.
Wouldn't you say that the way this post has gone on for SO long there is SOME Merit at the lack of success men get when on a dating site? Come on ...90+ pages has to have some kind of merit to it. lol
Yeah, I was lucky enough to get 3 dates a year. Seriously. lol Or a date every Quarter (4x's a year).
Even withTHOSE, I was lucky to actually get past the phone call to meet for a simple drink or lunch. Was like pulling teeth. lol | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 11/13/2008 7:37:51 AM | [qoute] Yeah, I was lucky enough to get 3 dates a year. Seriously. lol Or a date every Quarter (4x's a year).
Even withTHOSE, I was lucky to actually get past the phone call to meet for a simple drink or lunch. Was like pulling teeth. lol
I actually found that I would have long dry spells following by 3 or 4 dates in a month. A lot of it has to do with not letting my messages get into a pattern and letting my personality slip out of them.
The other thing is that the number of new people varies with time of year. January and February are the best times of the year to meet new people on a website, with everyone getting lonely after the holidays or Valentines day coming up. The next best time of year is May/June, people seem to be looking for someone to be with during the summer. The fall is the absolute worst, starting from August through December (basically right now). | |
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