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hext
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Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 2451 | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 2/12/2009 11:46:17 AM | I totally disagree that it's good for women! I don't think I have a completely off-base opinion of myself, but as someone said on one of these forums - only the guys that look like Captain Kangaroo want to date me (with a few exceptions)! That statement made me laugh when I read it, but I've found it to be pretty true.
I don't think it's my list of requirements or my age either. I'm open minded, grounded and have dated men many years younger and older than I am. I have recent pix, and wrote more than a 2 line profile, but if you guys think we women get many emails a week, I want to assure you that has not been my experience!
Maybe it's time for different bait? | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 2/12/2009 3:17:07 PM | Online dating is one avenue to meet someone. I'd rank it a distant second to being introduced by a friend since it is less personal and at least the referring friend knows the two parties involved. It definitely beats going to the club or the bar for attracting a long term mate.
Of course, as is the case with most things in life, there are no guarantees.  | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 2/16/2009 12:16:21 PM | | Look at it this way: men, for the most part, have to put at least as much effort into meeting women online as they do in real life, maybe more. Women, on the other hand, for the most part, can get by with putting even less effort into meeting men online than they do IRL. Online they dont owe anyone a response, whereas IRL common courtesy requires some minimal acknowlegement of someone who addresses them. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 2/16/2009 12:45:07 PM | Trust me your not alone. A group of us guys were talking about this same subject last night. We came to the conclusion that most women get an ego stroke from this site. You have tons of guys e-mailing them constantly, and half of them desperate willing to do anything for a date. Think if you had 200 women who had you on their favorite list it would blow your head up a little. Some of these girls can't possibly have time to answer all these messages so don't blame them blame the idiots that message every woman they look at.
I do have to admit some women have gotten a little out of control and are missing out on some guys that are probably just what their looking for. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 2/16/2009 1:09:17 PM | Wow, I'm sorry dude but, the experiences you describe aren't what I receive. Sure sometimes a letter goes unanswered (even for me) but, if your letter wasn't rude, the lady's lack of response was. However, in my experience, men don't seem to be well written in general... that's not the problem with you... you've written fine here.
Perhaps you need to read over you letter before sending it and see if it could be misconstrued. Often written words can be taken wrong by the one reading them and there's a number of reasons for it.... the girl can't see you smile when you joke and even if you're not joking many sentences can have several meanings depending upon word stress and all kinds of things. Every letter deserves an answer (even if the answer is "drop dead") and nobody's getting so many they can't drop a line back that says "thanks but, no thanks."
Try a messenger, I can't get on one without being swamped by women. That's weird to me... I look okay but, I'm no Brad Pitt so, I figure the ratios are the other way around. Don't worry about any of this, that's my advice. Keep on trying and you'll do fine.
I knew a brainiac in college. The guy was a genius in advanced calculus and a nice guy inside but, he offended everyone around him each time he opened his mouth. Some people envied him but, I felt sorry for him - he merely had no clue about how to communicate. Your situation could be much worse. Best of luck. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 2/16/2009 1:30:43 PM | I have to disagree with you... you don't have to anything you don't want to do. Your thirty mile decision is a decision, nothing more and nothing less. Anyone can still write you by merely changing their zip code and address for a few minutes in time. I hope you get lucky and the right guy does that for you.
All men are pervs, even the good guys - it's how one approaches a topic that makes him appear crude or charismatic. In truth, nothing is a perversion because there is no "norm." Life is fun and the people are funny.
Walking vaginas... yeah, that'd be cool! | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 2/16/2009 3:56:26 PM |
Wow, I'm sorry dude but, the experiences you describe aren't what I receive. Sure sometimes a letter goes unanswered (even for me) but, if your letter wasn't rude, the lady's lack of response was. However, in my experience, men don't seem to be well written in general... that's not the problem with you... you've written fine here.
It's certainly not just the illiterate or the sex-crazed that get no replies on here. My initial e-mails are always very polite, have proper spelling and grammar, and do communicate that I actually did read the profile. And yet I get replies to less than five percent of my initial e-mails. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 2/16/2009 8:27:37 PM | Lol, I say take it with a grain of salt. So it is true. So women are picky and men lose out. Even the men who IRL may have a bit of game in them. SO WHAT! This site should be the distant back up plan, not a true means to find what youre looking for. Is it fair, no it isnt fair, but the solution is not to cry about it. (not that you are whining).... Oh for christsakes this post was written dam near 4 years ago. JESUS! Im sure youve moved on by now. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 2/17/2009 5:44:21 PM | | yeah its because plentyoffish.com is free remember the old saying you get what you pay for? spend some money on a good dating website where women are not stuck up and look at your profile as much as your pic. and this is just one dating site who cares? there are dozens more | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 2/18/2009 6:14:21 AM | Maybe we should look at it this way:
If you actually read the profiles, they are all saying pretty much the same thing. I read one recently that left me laughing out loud. It was obviously humorous and quite refreshing!
Let's face it , most of us men are only semi-handsome (especially when you get to my age), but women treat themselves better. They spend a lot of income on makeup, facelifts, hairdresser, boob jobs, nose jobs and the list goes on.
Generally, us men do not take as good care of themselves.
A female friend told me recently that she gets mail from many men, who appear unkempt, who obviously do not take care of themselves. and are primarily looking for a bed partner.
Yes, it is a shame that some women do not look at the profile and see what is behind that guy. just like men , they look at the picture first. If the picture doesn't grab them, they move on! | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 2/18/2009 8:28:33 AM | Hi, don't let it get to you that much, I get the same, I must have messaged well over 100 women and I think I have had about 10 replies in that period. I have gotten used to being ignored really, yet I still maintain the belief I am going to meet someone on here, im not one to give up that easily. Just keep your head up high, there is someone out there for everyone.
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 2/21/2009 7:05:57 AM | | I disagree under most of the great looking women like you said they are fakes. Take out the implants and take off the makeup and you are left with alot of just ugly souls because their hearts are so used to vanity. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 2/22/2009 12:09:49 AM | I haven't read all the responses to your post so if I'm stating the obvious please forgive me.
You're putting all your eggs into one basket. Internet dating is awkward and just another way of possibly getting a relationship. There are other avenues, like volunteering, joining a club, having a hobby that involves other people. Those are more people oriented - you get to interact with someone face to face.
I don't want to sound rude but you seem like a person that's in need of a life coach. Why are you so addicted to the internet?
 - Does this somehow convey emotion? | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 2/22/2009 4:11:27 AM | if you can't take the heat, stay outta the kitchen. why cast stones and lay the blame on the "other" (man or woman)? if attractiveness is an indicator for someone, then you can assume they are somewhat shallow, but it is human nature and we all have "types" that we prefer so be a little kinder in your estimation of others. i think people often ignore emails to avoid having to say something that may be hurtful to someone who may overly sensitive and read into it more than was intended.
be kind, bottom line, don't judge, and try to have fun. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 2/22/2009 12:21:56 PM | | Well now you have me intrigued, I have to go check out your profile, smile. I have found it hard to find people that are looking for someone that is not so bad on the eyes but more important , knows what he wants and is not just in it for the chase...I have been looking for 8 yrs. for the right man to take me off the market, but they don't stick around long enough to really get to know me I'm a good person that don't play games. And the one's I have dated tell me I'm too good to be true , then they disapear????? | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 2/23/2009 8:19:34 PM | | I think that the reason why a lot of guys don't like Internet dating is because a lot of the women who do it go out on many dates just to get free entertainment even if they don't like the guy. I personally think Internet dating is a complete waste of time and I meet far better women on my own in person. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 2/24/2009 4:37:57 AM | Well here is the deal...If you see a perfectly written profile with a gorgeous woman in the photos, you have to ask yourself is this real? How could she possibly have any difficulty finding dates?..If it is to good to be true than it is. If she is real then, then most likely she is getting swarmed by emails, so you have 10 times less of a chance of getting her attention. I mean if you are not a doctor and don't drive a BMW then what makes you think that a female doctor who drives a BMW is going to give you the time of day(or even be on a free dating site), especially on the net. Lower your expectations and you will realize that you have more matches and opportunities then you previously thought you had. Why be in a hurry to give up...This site is free after all.  | |
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nelly*
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Joined: 10/13/2008
Msg: 2470 | |
| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 2/24/2009 8:57:58 AM | | Put a photo and you will get more success... I have emailed more guys than I have been emailed so far. I find guys too shy on here. I am getting bored. No photos most of time, bad or tiny resume, no spice.... Make a girl dream!!!!!!!! | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 2/24/2009 11:44:31 AM | Internet datin may suck for us but look at the advantages we have over the birds:
We drive better (despite insurance statistics sayin otherwise)
We can kill our own spiders
A broken finger nail doesnt require surgery
We cant get pregnant
We are stronger and therefore work harder and thats why we get more pay
Our phone bills are MUCH cheaper
We can go into a shop and buy just what we need rather than save the economy
Our orgasms are ALWAYS real.....always
We dont need diamonds, gold jewelry or cheesy valentine cards as proof they love us, a quick suck will do.
The tv is mine but you can have both the cooker and the washin machine. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 2/25/2009 10:25:07 AM | I disagree - I just saw this, and fellas, I gotta say if you are not charming, creative, polite, etc. , when meeting face to face, and you carry your same crude habits online, you will continue to get the same results. For sure, I only get a handful of responses back from the women I contact (FYI, it's also about the same % of positive responses I get from just chatting & flirting face to face), but my messages are always positive, polite, and never, ever focus on anything but personality & interests....you'd be surprised how many phone #'s that'll get you!!
Also, if you talk to any lady friends who have tried the online dating thing, you'll learn that most of them get overwhelmed with messages from creeps that are totally, shockingly rude and inappropriate...therefore, you can bet they'll hit DELETE if they get even a hint of something that sounds threatening or distasteful, and I can't blame them a bit. So, don't blame the ladies for not responding to you 100%...you just have to adjust both your approach and your expectations sometimes. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 2/25/2009 8:34:53 PM | | Being the slow learner that I am, I kept flailing away at the pofers with the hot pics and multiple admirers. Like someone else wrote earlier, like maybe 50 pages back, there are many, many different women to choose from. There is no reason to get discouraged. Just use a larger/different net! | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 2/26/2009 5:10:12 AM | Online dating for me, for the most part, has been a nightmare. Although I find dating to be slightly more accessible with each year (I think this is true for most guys) I have yet to be in an actual relationship. Online dating doesn't seem to be speeding up that process whatsoever.
I really doubt any guy could do better online then he could in real life. However, since I'm just not a very social person, I think I'm screwed either way. | |
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| Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 2/26/2009 8:21:07 AM | In my travels, I have found that several basic types of women frequent online dating sites:
1. Stuck-up, snooty women who think they are God’s gift to men. With the tons of e-mail they get from hopeful suitors, they acquire both swelled heads and a wildly unrealistic opinion of their market value in the dating world. Women like this are clearly suffering from what I call ‘Princess Syndrome’. A characteristic symptom of the malady is having a stringent laundry list of ‘requirements’ and ’standards’ few men could ever hope to meet.
2. Attention junkies.
3. Gold-diggers. No explanation needed here!
4. Professional daters who, sucked in by the endless choice online dating appears to offer, keep looking for the Bigger, Better Deal. Ad nauseam. Scratch a professional dater, and you’ll likely find someone with a serious fear of commitment lurking underneath. The type of woman mentioned in (2) above often fits into this category.
5. Teases who get off on rejecting men for sport. These women should have a big “L” branded in their foreheads - “L” for “Loser”, of course.
6. Desperate single mothers. If you ever see a profile where a woman says, “My children mean everything to me”, RUN! This is code-speak that means a woman is basically married to her children, and if you get involved with her, you’ll find that you rank dead last. Right down there with Fido, if you’re lucky.
7. Russian/ Eastern European women or women from other foreign countries where poverty and crime is rife. Probably half of these women are allied with fraudsters seeking to fleece lonely men.
8. Drunks, druggies, other assorted psychopaths.
The strange thing about the online dating sites I’ve been on is that there are few women who could be considered ugly. (Unless of course, they’re the ones who post a profile but no pic). | |
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