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| if the guy asks you out on a date,, who should pay? Would you date him again if he asked you to pay?
Posted: 2/19/2008 3:49:30 PM | And if the guy "puts out" the woman should too!
OMG - you have GOT to be kidding me! This from a guy who brags on his profile about being independently wealthy and retired?
No lady should EVER be made to feel that way! How disgusting!
Yes - the guy should pay. I pay on the first date, and every other date too - unless a particular woman just absolutely insists on going dutch... and I expect NOTHING in return. That's just how I was raised.
Be a GENTLEMAN for cryin' out loud...
Mark
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| if the guy asks you out on a date,, who should pay? Would you date him again if he asked you to pay?
Posted: 2/19/2008 5:57:36 PM | to swfl dan..
I thought.."nah, this guy doesn't deserve any attention to his assinine remark."
Now, I will reply. I would just call over the server and quietly explain that I was asked out on a date by this man and because I refuse to put out, he is not paying at all. Could you take this to the Manager? Oh, bye the way, his vehicle outside is a ____ and you will find his license # there.
Also, I would be very distressed and maybe do something feminine like cry.
The Managers at most of these establishments are very adept at handling vile men who do things like this. | |
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| if the guy asks you out on a date,, who should pay? Would you date him again if he asked you to pay?
Posted: 2/20/2008 8:54:50 AM | | Having been raised on the east coast during the 50/60's I was always taught it's a man's responsibility to pay for a date. It shows that he is responsible and feels you are worthy of at least that. Christ, if I let a lady pay ( and never have) my father would return from the grave and put a boot where the sun doesn't shine. It just shows class, and probaly proves he has a job...:) | |
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| if the guy asks you out on a date,, who should pay? Would you date him again if he asked you to pay?
Posted: 2/20/2008 10:46:04 AM | Interesting question. My last -first- date was my treat. We had known each other for a few months, talked on the phone daily and i wanted to make my first trip to see Him in conjunction with His birthday. i specifically asked prior to the date if i could please take Him out of His birthday. i also specifically asked Him to pick a very special restaurant and He made the reservations as i was from out of town. To clarify, i do work however i am also independent financially and He is very successful in His own right - who could AFFORD to pay wasn't the issue. i asked Him to allow me to give Him a relaxing and beautiful night for His birthday and He allowed it. The bar tab that night including tip was $100 for two drinks. The meal tab was $230 including wine and tip.
The meal was priceless, the service impeccable, and the memories cherished. We both had a wonderful time and not once did i feel NOT like a lady. He opened my doors, handled the ordering, held my chair, helped me with my coat, stood when i was excused to go to the ladies room and in general was beyond a perfect gentleman. i don't think He felt like -less- of anything because i was footing the bill for our first date/His birthday meal. He enjoyed getting to introduce me to high end scotch tasting and a place that He was very fond of visiting. He was known by name and given amazing service and deferrential treatment. It was a great way to celebrate His birthday and our first date without the stickiness of gift giving or haggling over the check. He paid for our date the next night and happens to have paid for every subsequent meal/activity that we shared including return trips to the establishment we visited on our first date.
That being said, being asked out on a date that i didn't suggest would indicate to me that He intends to pay and if He sprung the whole ... "Can you get this" expectation on me unplanned -- it would definitely be a deal breaker for me. It's not that i can't afford to pay on the spot, it's that it's rude to suggest something and then expect someone else to foot the bill for it at the beginning of a relationship or a first date even if no relationship ensues. Anyone who doesn't have consideration for communicating their expectations ahead of time is really demonstrating poor taste in my book. i carry myself like a lady ... i dress appropriately and tastefully and i DO expect that if He requested my company, unless specified ... He is footing the bill. A gentleman doesn't request one's company and then expect her to pick up the full tab on the spot ... if for no other reason than her potential lack of preparation and the humiliating experience that could follow. A gentleman protects a lady from such situations and should let her know ahead of time of financial expectations that will affect her. Likewise a lady fully comes prepared to treat if the activity was her suggestion ... even if it's not required. It's just reasonable manners in my book.
~angel | |
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medana
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Joined: 12/8/2005
Msg: 92 | |
| if the guy asks you out on a date,, who should pay? Would you date him again if he asked you to pay?
Posted: 2/20/2008 8:56:58 PM | i would bother w him. esp if he's the one soliciting the date.
i had that happen once... some guy asked out on a lunch date. i said u know what, lets take a rain check, just paid all my bills, am flat broke, lets reschedule in couple days or so
he said no no noooooooooo, lets do it now, it'll be on me, i asked u anyways.
the bill was somewhere along the lines of 13 dollars. we ordered something to share, i didnt even order a full meal, i just get paranoid if i dont have money to cover my ass.
needless to say, i ended up paying for half of it, which was THE LAST 8 BUCKS I HAD TO MY NAME! because when the bill came, he just sat there, so of course , i pulled out my money and paid for what i owed, including a tip. he said nothing, just paid his half.
LOLOL
i put it out there w lessons learnt and funny stories.
evn funnier - he emailed me the next day, saying how he wasnt feeling good yesterday, or something like that, and can we go out again?
?????? !!!!!!!! ??????
thinking to myself : ARE U SERIOUS???????????????
LOLOL
i had another one that filled my head up w stories about his entrepeneurial skills and showed off his brand new lexus meantime, explaining how it warms up ur ass and so on.
only when the $14 bill came, he pulled out 5 dollars. i said dont worry, its ON ME
LOLOL
and i drive an old beaten up second hand car
LOLOL | |
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| if the guy asks you out on a date,, who should pay? Would you date him again if he asked you to pay?
Posted: 3/18/2008 4:59:58 AM | | you work extremely hard? good for you..... how doyou know the man isn't working extremely hard? when i'm asked out on a date? you ever ask a man out? no. so you wait for a man to ask you out. when he does he needs to pay..... men are higher wage earners? what century are you in dear? new age pressure? it's called dutch it's been around a very long time...... huge downer. so i should buy dinner or whatever for a stranger? fine dining? if you like fine dining take yourself out and meet me afterwards..... or i'll buy you dinner and then you owe me something that i want...... like that? what happened to equality of the sexes? is it forgotten when dating? sounds like you are looking for a free ride......oh sorry thats called marriage. | |
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| if the guy asks you out on a date,, who should pay? Would you date him again if he asked you to pay?
Posted: 3/18/2008 5:08:47 AM | | there is a difference between not being able to afford it and not feeling the need to buy you dinner. maybe they shouldnt date you again if you can't afford to go dutch. which is also very old fashioned as you claim to be. i guess being old fashioned saves you enough to support your kids. thats hwy i make sure to stay away form golddiggers like you. there is only one reason someone would date you anyway. its right there about chest high. | |
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| if the guy asks you out on a date,, who should pay? Would you date him again if he asked you to pay?
Posted: 3/18/2008 6:08:45 AM | What NoNoBadDog said.
If I ask a woman out I pay.
Just the way I have always done things.
But some women still think I drag my knuckles anyway.
If a woman wants to jump up and down and insist she pick up the check or her part of it,
it's OK with me.
It just a dinner check not a milestone in sexual politics.
Picking up my dinner check does not mean I will sleep with you. 
That seems to be a preoccupation here. 
On a slightly more serious note some woman don't have the ability to pay their share especially if they are being asked out several times a week.
If they are concerned they should have the discussion before they meet so there is no surprises.
Money discussions are awkward before a first date but is sure beats surprises. | |
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| if the guy asks you out on a date,, who should pay? Would you date him again if he asked you to pay?
Posted: 8/27/2008 3:17:34 PM | | I personally want to be with a man that I can respect. On I can look up too. Naturally I want to date a man that earns more money than I do. And I want him to pay the bill. If he doesnt, I will pay for mine and he can go date someone else with lower standards. Stick together girls.... He can always go find himself a nice looking gay man to have a date with that im sure will be happy to pay his fair share. | |
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