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| if the guy asks you out on a date,, who should pay? Would you date him again if he asked you to pay?
Posted: 8/27/2008 4:09:15 PM | | If a man asks me out he pays. If he suggests I pay part or says something like maybe you can pay next time, I would NEVER go out with him again. BTW thats never happened. Having said that if he pays without complaint I always offer to pay the next time. BTW I've never had anyone complain. From that point on we share. My first meets are always coffee and I always buy my own. I don't mind sharing, we all work after all.... | |
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| if the guy asks you out on a date,, who should pay? Would you date him again if he asked you to pay?
Posted: 8/28/2008 2:39:32 AM | If he has invited you out for the first few dates you are entering into 'his' world. He chooses the venue and presumably the price code that goes with it. Expect him to pay. Never order anything more expensive than he has chosen for himself, my own rule is that I usually say 'I will have what you are having thank you' - that gives him total control and means that there will be no embarrassment or silliness in thinking that I want a 'free meal'.
Most men I know feel a pride in 'taking a woman out' but if you happened to be invited out by someone who didn't take that responsibility, I would question his ability to take ANY responsibility at all in the relationship.
David Lewis
Do you get many takers with your 'romantic' approach? | |
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| if the guy asks you out on a date,, who should pay? Would you date him again if he asked you to pay?
Posted: 8/28/2008 4:02:43 AM |
I personally want to be with a man that I can respect.
Wow...So, his money makes you respect him?.. Wow...Don't know what to say.
Most men I know feel a pride in 'taking a woman out' but if you happened to be invited out by someone who didn't take that responsibility, I would question his ability to take ANY responsibility at all in the relationship.
..Ok, I read this five times, still having trouble understanding it.
It's a pride to "taking a women out"? It is if she think of herself as a princess, and a man should feel honored, or something. What is that gotta do with responsibility??
Going out is supposed to be fun, pressure free, not worrying about looking responsible. If the women I go out thinks like this, it makes me think I'll need a second job, so I can afford to go out with Miss High Maintanence. Makes me think she isn't living in the "real word". Don't want to buy any women friendship. | |
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| if the guy asks you out on a date,, who should pay? Would you date him again if he asked you to pay?
Posted: 8/30/2008 10:48:17 PM | Since there are several threads of women saying this, my question is "Where the heck do you women all live that has all these dirtbags living in it???" I mean, if i understand this correctly, they ask you out, and when it's time to pay, they ask you to???
caskey,
I'm surprised that *this* thread wasn't deleted because there is already a nearly identical one actively going on in "Dating and Love Advice" forum - 20 and some pages long. In that thread you can read many men's views on "who pays". Some are like you but many aren't. Some of the stances are
- in this day and age of equality, women should pay for their half of the date
- women are meal whores who only date for a free meal
- if she doesn't put out, I don't pay
Read it. Where the heck do women find these men, you ask? Half (if not more) of POF forums...from the mouths of men, themselves. Some are intellectual, some are pigs and some are downright whiney. | |
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| if the guy asks you out on a date,, who should pay? Would you date him again if he asked you to pay?
Posted: 8/31/2008 6:51:42 AM | I'm not saying that prearanging to go "dutch" on a meet and greet is wrong, i can see where women might find this even appropriate. I personally would think it's very rare fora woman to ask a man out for a first date or a meet and greet and offer to buy him dinner, but i could possibly be wrong since it appears i am a dating dinosaur.
What I read that i found there were men sad enough to do was to ask a woman out, pig out and then say "you get the check while i go to the men's room...Now that's an undateable guy if i ever saw one | |
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| if the guy asks you out on a date,, who should pay? Would you date him again if he asked you to pay?
Posted: 8/31/2008 12:01:04 PM | | It has nothing to do with men earned higher wage than women that they have to pay for a date, it has something to do with men are stronger sex and men does chivalries,wooing and man showing that he cared for the woman. This is something to do with feminism that women wants to be equal with men in strenght,financial status, sport sex, etc..If a man took me for a date and asked me to pay his meal and mine I will think that he is a psycho or he thinks I am a feminist or I did not push the right button of his manly man as a feminine woman..... | |
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| if the guy asks you out on a date,, who should pay? Would you date him again if he asked you to pay?
Posted: 8/31/2008 12:32:49 PM | | I still can't believe that this is a topic of discussion. Men, get a life and be a man! If you have asked a lady out you should pay. If you have issues with is then by all means you are not ready to date as it seems to me that if the "who pays" is an issue then you are obviously financially strapped. If this is the case but still want to date then learn some creative ways where you can swing it. There are many inexpensive restaurants that are good and will let you bring in a bottle of wine. They then charge a nominal cork fee. These places are fine. If this is still an issue but you still want to date then do coffee or lunch but YOU still pick up the tab. It's also about having a little self respect for yourself. You asked her out so remember this. Call me old fashion but I see men all the time becoming incredibly cheap when it comes to dating and as a member of the male faculty I am embarrassed by this! I've said this before, my Father always told me if I can't afford to pay for a date then I am not in a position to date. I just last night had a first date with a wonderful lady. The restaurant was chosen by her for comfort reasons, the food and ambience were fine but the noise level was off the charts primarily b/c there were screaming kids in there due to some birthday party. I was annoyed to the nth degree and told my date that I hope she would not be embarrassed but I needed to say something to the waiter which I did and she understood. In any event, I didn't get the feeling that the date went as well as others and I most likely will not see her again. My point is, I paid for dinner, left a healthy tip which was not good judgment on my part but totally ok with picking up the tab. Why? Because I asked her out! End of story and I hope there will be more interesting relationship issues to talk about in this forum. Also ladies, if you are looking for a decent guy to have dinner with and don't want to sit through stressing about who is going to pay but would otherwise be a wonderful evening with good food, conversation then feel free to contact me. I love nothing more than female companionship over dinner! | |
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| if the guy asks you out on a date,, who should pay? Would you date him again if he asked you to pay?
Posted: 8/31/2008 2:28:40 PM | Two recent first dates I went on...
First one, with a woman who makes a ton more than I do, she's a doctor. We had a nice dinner and movie. When the check came and I pulled out my wallet there was not even one move on her part to offer to pay for half. I would have probably declined unless she insisted but still the fact that she didn't even offer was unsettling and made me wonder about her and if she could be a serial-dater.
Second date was with a woman who makes a good deal less than I do, she's a teacher. We had a nice dinner and movie. When the check came she made it a point to pay for half even when I offered to cover the whole thing.
Both seemed interested in second dates. Guess which one I went on a second date with.
No one who knows me would consider me anything less than a gentleman. I have never in my life visited a prostitute so I don't plan on ever equating a woman's company with how much money I spend on her. | |
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j417
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Joined: 7/16/2008
Msg: 117 | |
| if the guy asks you out on a date,, who should pay? Would you date him again if he asked you to pay?
Posted: 8/31/2008 2:47:36 PM | I posted this on the other thread about this woman that got p1ssed when the guy asked her what drink she was going to buy him.
[Why do women have such a problem paying for anything? Last time I checked, it's almost 2009! They scream equality and equal rights but when it comes to paying for anything, they refuse and EXPECT everything for free. Free food, free drinks, free movie, popcorn…everything!! The hypocrisy is off the charts. & the op's reaction to being asked in a fun way to even buy ONE DRINK for the man. I think it's extremely selfish. It's like she was saying, "How dare you! Don't you know I'm a WOMAN and the woman never pays for anything??!" He could have been testing you to see how you would react. If you would not even skip a beat & say, sure, what'll ya have? or if you would react like you did. Or even worse, refuse. Says a lot about a person... little test like these. ]
I noticed a few women in here saying things like, "If he asked me that, I would just laugh in his face and get up & leave!" The thought process behind this type of thinking is revolting. Truly disturbing. | |
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