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| Ladies: your take on short guys?
Posted: 4/1/2008 10:00:42 PM | Short? Are you talking under 5 ft tall? Well first of all I like looking in someones eyes when I talk to them. My arms sure would get tired having to pick the little fellow up to talk with him.  | |
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| Ladies: your take on short guys?
Posted: 4/1/2008 11:18:09 PM |
Jurupa is right. My older brother (6'1") has the personality to go along with his height. My younger brother is 6'5" and he wasn't so popular in high school. In fact, he didn't even finish high school, but he's a hard worker and makes good money. I'm 5'7" and even though I wasn't super popular in high school, I did have a few girlfriends and other girls who liked me. So even though it doesn't hurt to be tall, it's not the only thing. I wonder how many women would go out with the Governator of California if they were looking for stimulating conversation.
Or, maybe something else is going on here. Maybe there is such thing as "too tall". It's obvious that many women are obsessed with height. However, maybe it is the case that height starts to hurt a guy when he is taller than 6'2". So that would explain why your brother had problems at 6'5" and why Jurupa has had problems at 6'7" (or however tall he is).
Either way, the studies are still valid. I've never said that being tall is the win all characteristic. Though being short can be the lose all characteristic. I did say, however, that most women are height obsessed to the point that they ONLY date men taller than X height. This "X" value is usually several inches taller than them, up to 6'2". Therefore, the taller the man is (until a certain point) the more women's requirements he will meet. Ergo, the taller a man, the more his choices with women. Ergo, taller men are more likely to cheat. | |
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jurupa
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Joined: 2/12/2008
Msg: 1003 | |
| Ladies: your take on short guys?
Posted: 4/2/2008 3:23:57 AM |
Or, maybe something else is going on here. Maybe there is such thing as "too tall". It's obvious that many women are obsessed with height. However, maybe it is the case that height starts to hurt a guy when he is taller than 6'2". So that would explain why your brother had problems at 6'5" and why Jurupa has had problems at 6'7" (or however tall he is). It may be possible for a guy to be "too tall", but if you look over the posts made by women that have dated tall guys, some of these women where below 5'5". And they dated a guy that was 6'3". And there would be basically a foot more in height difference and one would think the guy was "too tall" for the woman, but yet she is with him. As others have said it does come down to preferences. By the way I am 6'6".
Either way, the studies are still valid. I've never said that being tall is the win all characteristic. Though being short can be the lose all characteristic. I did say, however, that most women are height obsessed to the point that they ONLY date men taller than X height. This "X" value is usually several inches taller than them, up to 6'2". Therefore, the taller the man is (until a certain point) the more women's requirements he will meet. Ergo, the taller a man, the more his choices with women. Ergo, taller men are more likely to cheat. You made it out in your posts that it was the complete package deal with no deal breakers. Also women that are generally 5'7" and shorter generally want guys that are between 5'10" and 6'3", while the women that are 5'7" and taller seem to generally go for guys that are 6' or taller. Yes there are women 5'5" and shorter that seem to be drawn to guys that are 6'4" or taller as I have gotten some attention from such short women.
Jonathan, I am still not getting your cheating theory. Just because a man is within 5'10 to 6'3" does not mean he is more likely to cheat. That is like saying because a woman is physically attractive to most guys she is most likely going to cheat. Just because someone is generally more desired by the opposite sex does not mean they will likely cheat. There are lot more at play than just being more desired by the opposite sex. For one there the morals and values thing. As well as the tall guy that is average looking that is with the physically attractive woman that a lot of guys will go for. | |
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| Ladies: your take on short guys?
Posted: 4/2/2008 4:58:41 AM |
I don't like to resort to personal attacks, but annikat....you make me embarrassed to be the same gender as you are.........
It's no wonder men think that all women are shallow, pampered ****es.........
Yeah, she is an insulting little witch isn't she? Before, she was on here, and likes to brag about the fact she has a boyfriend,so she thinks she's hot stuff right now. Believe me, once this relationship goes south, she'll be back on here again lookin' for a man.
Good to find a woman that actually speaks out against such people. I'd be suprised if she responds now with more than one person talking against her.
She's one of those shallow women that actually has no shame in insulting "short guys" or "ugly guys". She reminds me of one of those personal ads I'd seen posted by some women on here, with a disclaimer saying something insulting like, "Shorties or baldies, please not apply" | |
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| Ladies: your take on short guys?
Posted: 4/2/2008 6:47:58 AM | blueeyedgirl42 wrote:
*****I don't like to resort to personal attacks, but annikat....you make me embarrassed to be the same gender as you are *****
I have to agree. She certainly doesn't speak for the majority of women out there.
Sharzi | |
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| Ladies: your take on short guys?
Posted: 4/2/2008 6:54:40 AM | ice-ey9 wrote:
***** The real secret? Confidence. Alot counts for how you carry yourself and the confidence you exude in your actions, which supercedes height in any given social or professional environment. Your either a person that commands respect or you don't. *****
BINGO!! You hit the nail right on the proverbial head! Just as a man loves a confident woman, so too does a woman love that about a man. If he acts like he has the world by the kahunas, he looks damn good to me... short or tall!
Thanks for posting... nice to see that someone has made sense of what's really a senseless arguement.
Sharzi | |
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| Ladies: your take on short guys?
Posted: 4/2/2008 7:59:27 AM | Annikat,
I'm far from cruel, have no idea where you got that, perhaps you misunderstood me, but you make personal attacks and insults, which is quite immature. I don't make personal insults, unless of course you insult me.
I see you only quoted me, how bout quoting someone else .....Sharzi and Blue Eyed Girl who seem to be in agreement with me about your character?
If you can come back with something for them, we'd be all curious what you have to say
For instance
Blue Eyed Girl:
<div class='quote'>I don't like to resort to personal attacks, but annikat....you make me embarrassed to be the same gender as you are.........
It's no wonder men think that all women are shallow, pampered ****es.........
Sharzi:
<div class='quote'>I have to agree. She certainly doesn't speak for the majority of women out there.
Sharzi
See there Annikat, even women are in agreement how you bring disgrace to their own gender.
What say you about what they have to say ? | |
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| Ladies: your take on short guys?
Posted: 4/2/2008 8:20:57 AM | As shallow as annikat may seem, at least she's honest. To an extent we're all shallow.
I'm an average 6.8 (according to over 60 people on HOT or NOT) and so I make it a point to look for women who are also in that attractiveness range. If I saw a very attractive woman like annikat in public and she was by herself, I might start a conversation with her, but I wouldn't expect anything out of it. Then again, you never know! A lot of great relationships have started out that way and if people would go out more often instead of having their butts glued to the computer chair, they might actually find somebody. It helps to have a Zen mind (no expectations either way) when you're talking to someone new of the opposite gender whom you find attractive. I don't want to sound like a dating guru, but that's the approach that's worked best for me over the years. | |
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| Ladies: your take on short guys?
Posted: 4/2/2008 8:23:17 AM |
Jonathan, I am still not getting your cheating theory.
It's not my cheating theory. It has been proven through studies and surveys.
http://www.shortsupport.org/News/0106.html
"In the 1960s and 1970s, Thomas Gregor, an anthropologist at America's Vanderbilt University, lived among the Mehinaku, a tropical forest people of central Brazil who were amazed by such new-fangled gadgets as spectacles....By many measures--wealth, chieftainship, frequency of participation in rituals--tall men dominate in tribal life. They hog the reproductive opportunities, too. Mr Gregor looked at the number of girlfriends of Mehi-naku men of varying heights. He found a pattern: the taller the man, the more girl-friends he had. As he explained, "the three tallest men had as many affairs as the seven shortest men, even though their average estimated ages were identical."
Just because a man is within 5'10 to 6'3" does not mean he is more likely to cheat. That is like saying because a woman is physically attractive to most guys she is most likely going to cheat.
It's sort of like saying that. But the only difference is that men and women are designed differently. Men are designed to spread their seed and women are designed to partner with the man who she thinks is best able to provide her with resources and advantageous genes for her offspring. It is in the evolutionary interest of a woman to stay with a "superior" (however you define that) male, even if he cheats on her. But it is in the male's evolutionary interest to want to impregnate as many women as possible (so his genes will be spread). Therefore, a man is generally only as faithful as his options.
Are there "moral" men whom this rule doesn't apply? Of course, but these men are both short and tall, and so that's a moot point. Because short men and tall men are no more "moral" than one another, but tall men have approximatly 7 times more opportunities to cheat for every short man opportunity....tall men are more likley to cheat.
Do you get it now?
Just because someone is generally more desired by the opposite sex does not mean they will likely cheat. There are lot more at play than just being more desired by the opposite sex. For one there the morals and values thing.
Unless you are saying that tall men are more "moral" than short men; this variable is a wash.
As well as the tall guy that is average looking that is with the physically attractive woman that a lot of guys will go for.
This is true, but again, it is a wash. There are as many "average looking" short guys as there are 'average looking" tall guys. That's the definition of "average". But, many more women find an "average looking" tall guy more attractive than an "average looking' short guy. So again...that makes taller men more likely to cheat.
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| Ladies: your take on short guys?
Posted: 4/2/2008 8:28:18 AM | | No different than men who refuse to date women 10 or 20 pounds overweight and there are a lot more of them out there. Read the profiles--they all want someone skinny, thin or athletic--average or a few extra pounds is out of the question. I am 5' 8" and have found I am too uncomfortable with short men because the constantly try to control what I wear and after a while I just get tired of it. I want to wear heels and weigh a helathy average weight. | |
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| Ladies: your take on short guys?
Posted: 4/2/2008 8:35:25 AM | ^^^
Are you serious? You think that most men would refuse to date a woman who is 10 pounds overweight? Not likely. In fact, most men are quite reasonable in their preferences as far as weight.
I've checked out of curiosity (and no, I'm not gay). I couldn't find one guy with a concrete weight requirement, but about 50% of women have a concrete height requirement. And often times, that height requirement is as tall as or even taller than average height.
I doubt most men have weight requirements that rule out the majority of women, though women often have height requirements that rule out the majority of men. And even if some men did have weight requirements; those women who were not in the range could always just lose weight. It's not the same thing at all. | |
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| Ladies: your take on short guys?
Posted: 4/2/2008 8:40:26 AM | I am 5'7" and considering wearing lifts that make me look taller jsut because so many women out there prefer men taller than me. It is true as I have browsed many of profiles on different dating sites, and the majority of women out there indeed prefer a man over 5'9" - It is rare seeing 5'8" or under to be honest. I think the norm is 5'10" +
Honestly, there's so many short men out there mating with other women so it doesnt surprise me that the short man thing continues down generations. While some women say they want 5'10" - I contact them anyway, because I think some just throw it up there because of pressure from their girlfriends. If short men were such an unwanted supply, then genetics would push them completely out of scope and there'd be none left. Contrary though, there's a plenty.
My question for the ladies is, if I wore lifts and you thought I was taller, would you be upset to find out one day down the road I was shorter even though you were still attracted to me? Just a hypothetical question, and I am curious about that. I am really considering wearing lifts just to see if that gives me an advantage or not. | |
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| Ladies: your take on short guys?
Posted: 4/2/2008 9:10:01 AM | Annikat, I just ran your pic through a profiler program and it comes back with this picture is not to be trusted; in other words its from a magazine or has been photo shopped. But than again it has been wrong once before. Put up one more pic and I will do a cross reference than I will no for sure. Just for us nice people here in the forums. | |
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| Ladies: your take on short guys?
Posted: 4/2/2008 9:12:11 AM | No different than men who refuse to date women 10 or 20 pounds overweight and there are a lot more of them out there. Read the profiles--they all want someone skinny, thin or athletic--average or a few extra pounds is out of the question.
Some men might prefer a woman that is thin, athletic, or average, but I don't think a large percentage of men would rule out a woman just because she is 10-20 lbs overweight. In fact some men prefer their women to be slightly overweight. The only women body types that are dealbreakers for a large percentage of men are extremely overweight or underweight. | |
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| Ladies: your take on short guys?
Posted: 4/2/2008 9:14:23 AM |
Honestly, there's so many short men out there mating with other women so it doesnt surprise me that the short man thing continues down generations. While some women say they want 5'10" - I contact them anyway, because I think some just throw it up there because of pressure from their girlfriends. If short men were such an unwanted supply, then genetics would push them completely out of scope and there'd be none left. Contrary though, there's a plenty.
Thing is< Tibtab.....these women get ticked off at us for emailing them, because we:
1. Didn't read all of their profile, and overlooked their height requirement
2. Get irritated that we saw the height requirement, ignored it, but chose to email them anyways as if we were about to change their mind about shorter men...as if we had "some nerve" to email them, regardless of what they put in their criteria.
I see threads here posted by some women (not all) getting mad at guys for doing this, and calling them idiots for ignoring whatever they have listed in their profile.
I do the same, even though a woman says in her profile, "I prefer to date men that are 6 feet or taller"
What I do, I take a look at her height, and if she's like 5'4", I email her anyways, thinking that, "Well, at her height, it probably wouldn't matter, because I'd be considered TALL from HER point of view"
Now, if she's a tall woman herself, then I'd probably move on.
I just have this belief that shorter women are more flexible about their height requirement regardless of what they put in their profile | |
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| Ladies: your take on short guys?
Posted: 4/2/2008 9:28:42 AM | okeedokee:
I havent experience anything negative in contacting them. The worst thing is insta-rejection ala nonrespsone. But really I find it worth it to let any lady know I'm interested. Period.
Now if she clearly specifies that she dislikes shorter men, or smokers, I will not contact her.
I have been on many more dates with women who wanted 5'10+ then those who wanted 4' to 7'. It just goes to show that although it might be a "preference" it isnt a deal breaker.
I dont ever consider it a deal breaker if they dont really say much about it other than it being on a preference list. If they do say "I only date black guys" or "I hate smokers" or "I can't stand short men" I will stay away. | |
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| Ladies: your take on short guys?
Posted: 4/2/2008 9:41:08 AM |
I just have this belief that shorter women are more flexible about their height requirement regardless of what they put in their profile
I think that is likely good thinking. I've never had a height requirement... at 5'4" I never found a man too short or too tall for me.
Didn't know women HAD such restrictive height requirements until I joined PoF, lol. Explains much. | |
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| Ladies: your take on short guys?
Posted: 4/2/2008 10:05:44 AM | The fact is both genders employ a sort of height discrimination. The taller individual is often viewed as being more powerful in some sort of way. You see this most clearly in business environments.
It is also true that you see shorter people with the Napoleon complexes. I notice this in business environments from women actually. Women managers who are short tend to be more shrewish than taller women managers.
Fact is the tall person knows they have an advantage, so when he/she is challenged in some sort of way, they naturally act more confident. An individual's confidence often attracts people.
So the best thing a shorter person can do is act tall, and don't let other people know if they are miffed by their height prejudices. Be confident, and very often it's not noticed that you are short. This works for the Hollywood guys like Stallone who are short. Sly acts tall, and the women fall at his feet.
And shorter people, don't concern yourself with people who are prejudiced against you due to height. They're not worth your time and mental effort. | |
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| Ladies: your take on short guys?
Posted: 4/2/2008 11:20:03 AM | ^^^
Much of this is true. But it is ironic that you say that shorter people should "act tall". Isn't this just another form of prejudice? Isn't this like saying that racism can be combated if blacks would "act white"?
By saying short folks should "act tall", we are blaming the victims and not the perpetrators of the bigotry. I don't think height is a behavior. There are confident tall folks and insecure tall folks. Confident short folks and insecure short folks.
But the truth is; if you happen to be a confident short man, you are said to have a "Napoleon Complex", or that you are overcompensating.
There is a catch-22
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| Ladies: your take on short guys?
Posted: 4/2/2008 12:06:13 PM | But it is ironic that you say that shorter people should "act tall". I really mean simply to act confident, not "tall". Of course the shorter person knows he/she is short, and there is a bias, but it's the attitude and shared that often will supercede the first impression bias. If all someone goes by in terms of judging people is first impression knee-jerk prejudices, the shorter person shouldn't worry about this, why would they want to associate with ignorant people?
Fact is an insecure tall person often will have advantages that confident short people will never have. Lots of people either won't notice the insecurity or it simply won't register because the tall person physicality overwhelms their good senses. Only if the tall person is EXTREMELY insecure will most people be affected by that insecurity.
There's a difference between confidence and a Napoleon complex. I think of the Napoleon complex as some sort of need to over-prove oneself. A confident person doesn't feel an overwhelming need to prove themself, and they definitely aren't going out of their way to over-prove themself. | |
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| Ladies: your take on short guys?
Posted: 4/2/2008 12:09:02 PM | | I like them taller than me (I'm 4'11" ). But I also like them as smart as or (preferably) smarter than me, too.... | |
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| Ladies: your take on short guys?
Posted: 4/2/2008 12:32:10 PM |
There's a difference between confidence and a Napoleon complex. I think of the Napoleon complex as some sort of need to over-prove oneself. A confident person doesn't feel an overwhelming need to prove themself, and they definitely aren't going out of their way to over-prove themself.
Fair enough, but I will make one more point before I let this go.
I submit that there is no such thing as a "napoleon complex". A short man will automatically be viewed as "lacking" or "inadequate" on some level. Therefore, he will have to prove himself to be "adequate" if he wants to be judged as an average person. This "need to prove himself" is not in his mind; it is a result of others viewing him as inferior upon first blush (this phenomenon does not need to occur during long-term contact, but only with first impressions). So therefore, a short man who is secretly confident will be viewed as "lacking", upon first blush because there is no evidence of the short man's worth beyond the "inferiority" of his height. A short man who demonstrates his ability can overcome this initial assumption of inferiority.
However, by doing so, he creates cognitive dissonance.
Cognitive dissonance - a psychological state that describes the uncomfortable feeling between what one holds to be true and what one "knows" to be true. In simple terms, it can be the filtering of information that conflicts with what one already believes, in an effort to ignore that information and reinforce one's beliefs.
So we see a short man and assume that he is inferior. If he out preforms our expectations, we do not abandon our long-held beliefs that shorter people are inadequate. Instead, we filter that information and couch it in terms of the shorter man having some sort of character defect. A "Napoleon Complex".
Thus, a stereotype is born.
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| Ladies: your take on short guys?
Posted: 4/2/2008 12:47:23 PM |
short guys are whining and complaining about the women wanting tall guys. And what woman wants to date a guy that is going to whine about being short and how all the tall guys supposally get the women?
The one thing I find fault with is you assume that "ALL " short men are whiners. it is not so much a matter of whining, ( no woman or even a man for that matter wants a whiner) it is that most women, irregardless to their own height, only want to date tall and or average height males, regardless if they whine or not. Whining wont change anything. All I ever said is that many women are missing out if they only chace tall men. I can understand why a Taller woman would only date a man her height and may be a little less. What I do not understand is a woman 4'11 or less only wanting to date a guy 6'0" or better? It is one thing if height is a prefference, I am stil seing people substituting the word "preference" for what they really mean, " rEQUIREMENT"! | |
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| Ladies: your take on short guys?
Posted: 4/2/2008 1:07:21 PM | | You should be picky, because you are worth it! Don't settle for anything less than the best! You'll know it when you find it, and sometimes, just sometimes, you're shocked that the preferences weren't a perfect 10. | |
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| Ladies: your take on short guys?
Posted: 4/2/2008 1:43:53 PM |
So we see a short man and assume that he is inferior. If he out preforms our expectations, we do not abandon our long-held beliefs that shorter people are inadequate. Instead, we filter that information and couch it in terms of the shorter man having some sort of character defect. A "Napoleon Complex".
Thus, a stereotype is born.
I agree with your assessment. There are blowhards regardless of height and build.
You should be picky, because you are worth it! Don't settle for anything less than the best! You'll know it when you find it, and sometimes, just sometimes, you're shocked that the preferences weren't a perfect 10.
What you said mskes little sence but I do know what you mean.
I assume that you mean that one should be picky basewd upon the requirments of how one treats others, how one cares for them selves and how one looks? A person should be less than picky when it comes to some "opreferences" as you are limiting your opportunities to meet a quality individual that meets youe "requirements". | |
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