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| Ladies: your take on short guys?
Posted: 4/15/2008 10:13:30 PM | | I really give up trying to argue about it. People here are making it as if being under 6' is some kind of DISABILITY or something but really it isn't. If you live each day of your life thinking in your head that your height MAY be a problem, or COULD be the source of a problem, then it will! Its all in perspective. Racism and ethnic racism are indeed very prevalent issues in North America but really heightism is more about ego and the epitamy of shallowness. Whether its stuck in your head or someone else's, whoever's problem it is leave it as someone else's problem. Personally I wouldn't change the way I am even for a second or a measly extra inch (oh woo hoo, now I'm at least 5'10 and can message all those girls who write in their profile, 'Must be at least 5'10' ...... erm, NOT! I mean, who gives a rats ass what those people think? Not everyone in the world is going to like you Pedro, but for every 5 people that don't there is guaranteed to be a dozen others who do! Whats the population of the world, a couple Billion? I am ALL-IN betting that theres a *LARGE* chunk of that world population who value such things such as RESPECT, MORALITY, INTEGRITY and SELF CONFIDENCE far more then height. Theres gotta be. I know cuz I've met a shitload! | |
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| Ladies: your take on short guys?
Posted: 4/15/2008 10:26:22 PM | t
his heightism business lives in your heads! GET OVER something you can't change and be confident in the person you are! Above all confidence in YOURSELF will land you quality women not your freakin' height!
That may seem all well and good and all;however, the majority of women feel this way. So what? are all of us short men left out of the dating and mating game for no fault of our own? According to you...YES WE ARE! i do not think so.
I am not trying to change society or anyone. All I am saying is that some people shoul;d broaden their horizens just a tad. Forget about your insecurities. Forget about what your friends and family may say. if you haven't found a good man by now and are on this site, maybe you need to boraden your horixens and flex your boundaries a bit. | |
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| Ladies: your take on short guys?
Posted: 4/15/2008 10:29:01 PM |
Folkgirl - I feel the same as you. As 5'5" and size 10 I don't want to feel like I overpower (stronger) my man. I feel more secure and protected in a sense with a man who's taller (and heavier). My "perfect" height? 5'10" but I've dated 5'7" and I've dated 6'6"...
At least your excuse is not as lame as some of the women here. Still it is pretty dang lame if you ask me. Not to seem sexist ( something i strive against being mind you) but I doubt you can over power me. My last girl friend was 5'9" and 175#'sand we got along really good. | |
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| Ladies: your take on short guys?
Posted: 4/16/2008 12:38:56 AM |
I really give up trying to argue about it. People here are making it as if being under 6' is some kind of DISABILITY or something but really it isn't. If you live each day of your life thinking in your head that your height MAY be a problem, or COULD be the source of a problem, then it will! Its all in perspective. Racism and ethnic racism are indeed very prevalent issues in North America but really heightism is more about ego and the epitamy of shallowness. Whether its stuck in your head or someone else's, whoever's problem it is leave it as someone else's problem. Personally I wouldn't change the way I am even for a second or a measly extra inch (oh woo hoo, now I'm at least 5'10 and can message all those girls who write in their profile, 'Must be at least 5'10' ...... erm, NOT! I mean, who gives a rats ass what those people think? Not everyone in the world is going to like you Pedro, but for every 5 people that don't there is guaranteed to be a dozen others who do! Whats the population of the world, a couple Billion? I am ALL-IN betting that theres a *LARGE* chunk of that world population who value such things such as RESPECT, MORALITY, INTEGRITY and SELF CONFIDENCE far more then height. Theres gotta be. I know cuz I've met a shitload!
I think the problem here is that the terms were never really defined. First of all, I'm not even sure that you qualify as short. In fact, I don't think that you do. Most women want tall guys, but being "not tall" does not make you "short".
What you are saying is true for "not tall guys" (i.e. it's about your confidence and you shouldn't think about your height), but it's FALSE for "short guys". For guys who actually are short, it has nothing (or very little) to do with confidence, and everything to do with their height. Almost every woman has said that the man must be taller than them. Some of these women have demanded men who are MUCH taller than them. Therefore, the shorter the man, the more FALSE your statement becomes. It might be true that a 5'8" man should not "blame" their height; but if a man is 5'5", refusing to acknowledge that his height puts him at a supreme disadvantage is simply delusional and probably unhealthy.
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| Ladies: your take on short guys?
Posted: 4/16/2008 2:22:44 AM | Ahhh, I return to learn the secret of our thread's deletion. The tattletale who told on himself. *SMH* The plan worked only to eliminate the momentum of the conversation as I, and maybe Vicious Vix (have not seen her on this thread with a recent post), did not want to repeat myself...so I took some time off. 
4Duty,
What I get is that you have an open mind and you make up your own mind. I like Coltrane/Carey too - Cafe del Mar and Lenny Kravitz - I must be too old, because I don't know them. And I'm aware that finding someone's thoughts challenging is not the same as agreeing with them.
You would be correct sir. I do have an open mind and an open heart... But how in the heck could you not know Lenny Kravitz? I mean, his mother was on The Jeffersons for crying out loud. PM me your email and I will send you some tracks if you are curious. 
We sure burned up that other thread, didn't we? Just before I went to bed I put up a very scurrilous post about the physical problems of tall men, and in the morning the whole thread was gone. I thought it was me.
Alas, it wasn't you...but all that work and thought, to have it sacrificied, eh? Quite disappointing for sure. *smh*
FeFe,
I was going through withdrawal!
You too? All the other threads pale by comparison to that one...ugh! Anyhoo, I think your little (baaah, pun NOT intended) anecdote about the 6-foot guy shows exactly how things are in reality. When faced with the decision to meet or spend time in the company of someone not in our height preference, we would choose to move forward and get to know the person. Anticipation anxiety, notwithstanding. Like I said before, peeps are getting caught up with the preference vs. requirement things. These are MY rules, I can make them and break them at will! hahaha!
Tdkblake93,
6 years ago I had a Brazilian girlfriend. She was maybe a little bit taller than me. She had small breasts, but that didn't bother me. I'm more of a leg & butt man myself. Give me a tall in-shape lady with small breasts over a short out-of-shape lady with big breasts any day! And yes, I've been with women fitting those 2 extremes and I prefer the former over the latter.
This is such a good point! Thank heaven for the leg and butt men! I think this is why (being that I am light-topped) I don't have trouble pulling leaves off trees. Being tall, I'm blessed with some pretty nice legs (if I do say so myself) and well, my derriere has been compared to both, J. Lo.'s and Beyonce's. (Not too sure if that is really a good thing.) However, I work out to stay in shape but I never wanna loose those curves. Mr. 5'8" was a breast man to the nth degree and didn't care at all for the attributes I did possess and because I was quite a bit younger than I am today, he was able to wound my self-esteem during the year and a half we dated.
However, in the male circles I've traveled I've noticed... if having a giant rack means you have got an equally large tummy, those men prefer little bitties over great big guns. It just helps me that I have the applebottom and brickhouse legs to boot. Again, there are some men who just love bigger gals and wouldn't go for me under any circumstance. I understand and respect their choice. It's not a personal affront to me, they like what they like, as do I.
Avie,
Oh and you missed me let a physical preference slip (on purpose for sake of debate, I'm a martyr for my arguments). I like redheads.
Hey, I've been advocating for the right for people to have preferences and pick and choose who they date. Why would I attack you on a point I support. You like redheads...so you wouldn't date a woman who isn't one? I don't think so (you mentioned that)...but there is nothing wrong with wanting to date them. I hear that they are quite feisty. Might be why I'm the way I am, I was born with red hair, well, it was auburn. Does that count?
I feel for you, I really do. This guy sounds like a complete prick.
Funny thing is, he was a complete prick but only while dating me. He was a nice guy generally. But you know what they say, karma takes care of everything. Today, he looks nothing like his former cute self. His looks are a thing of the past and can only be witnessed through pics. From what I've been told, I'm looking better these days. So,  to him! *smiles*
Short guys who complain they can't get dates. I'm shorter than nearly all of you and I'm fat too. But I get dates.
Um, to He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named...take a note. I think Avie's personality, and CW35's, are great. Being positive is an aphrodisiac... being nasty is akin to having an STD and having the name of it tattooed on your forehead.
A person who drinks soda may PREFER Coke, but can still LIKE Pepsi and be happy and fulfilled with drinking Pepsi. Just because you prefer something doesn't mean you hate the alternative or won't go for it. Personally, I like redheads, but that has no bearing on my attraction to other hair colors. And it would never stand in the way of me going after someone I'm interested in.
I don't agree with this. Real Coke lovers, of which I am one, don't like Pepsi. I actually despise it. I wouldn't opt for Pepsi, if Coke were not available. I would have either another Coke product or water...and not Aquafina. That is what brand marketing has done to me. I do I blame the ad makers for putting Michael Jordan on every Coke product when I was in my formative years? No. I don't because it's my choice and I have the power to change my mind whenever I want. The only thing I don't want...is Pepsi in my glass. Obviously, I am not that rigid when it comes to men, however, if I was that would be my choice too.
Edited to add: I have tasted Pepsi and genuinely don't like the taste. Wanted to be clear, so people wouldn't think I hated something without having sampled it. LOL. | |
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| Ladies: your take on short guys?
Posted: 4/16/2008 2:36:51 AM | Oh for Gods sake is this stupid thread still going? People are just going around and around and around arguing. No one is going to change anyone Else's mind so why are you continuing to argue about it?
The majority of men don't want a woman towering over them any more then the majority of women don't want a guy who is shorter then them. That's just the way it is. Trying to bash others over the head to see things your way will never work. Oh and notice i said the "MAJORITY" . I can hear certain posters chiming in with "well i wouldn't mind at all". Well if you wouldn't mind at all then you are in the minority not the majority. Nowhere did i say all men don't want a woman towering over them or that all women don't want a guy shorter then them.
Requirements or preferences who gives a crap. Leave other people alone to do as they wish and you go on and do as you wish as well. | |
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| Ladies: your take on short guys?
Posted: 4/16/2008 4:59:29 AM |
The majority of men don't want a woman towering over them any more then the majority of women don't want a guy who is shorter then them.
Why do women keep clinging to this absurd myth? It's an obvious false statement, but some women keep repeating it over, and over, and over, and over, and over.
The "majority" means 51%. There is NO evidence that suggest that 51% or more of men do not want taller women. In fact, from reading studies on the subject and looking at anecdotal evidence (such as these threads), most men do not care if a woman is taller than them. And those that do care seem to have a mild preference and not a hard requirement that most women have.
In fact, I'd be shocked if more than 10% of men have a requirement that the woman must be shorter than them. However, I'd be equally surprised if less than 80% of the women didn't have a requirement that the man be taller than the woman.
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| Ladies: your take on short guys?
Posted: 4/16/2008 7:31:32 AM | I think you would find that your percentage is quite wrong in regard to a woman's requirement ... I may agree that if a woman is very tall, she may very well have a height requirement for the man she wants to spend her life with ... but truly, 80% is bit high ... I for one know of women who were 5'7" or taller and ended up being with a shorter man & gotten married ... why, because they saw the short man from the "inside" -- the heart -- for the kind of person he truly was & also the fact that he didn't give up on the woman he wanted ... for us short women, we have no other choice - everyone is taller than us, so we look at each individual for who they are ... again how we're treated, etc . as previously mentioned ... I've met a lot of short & tall guys that are just great but if the connection isn't there, it just isn't there ... lets face it, we all look for the attraction & then try to find a deeper connection before deciding to move on ... sometimes, once you get past the attraction bit - you find that there's nothing more & I believe that if you haven't actually met the person in person -- one-on-one time, you really haven't given yourself the chance to see the other person for who they are ... from what I have seen with some women & men (I'm saying some, not all) it has to do with going in & getting the person (man/woman) & once they feel they have you, they drop you ... how sad, one doesn't take the time to truly see the person (except the woman who is dropped: truly sees you for the type of person you are & is better off for you dropping her ... & this is the same for a man) ... a man is a man who truly believes his worth without making himself more or less than he truly is -- short or tall ... give it a rest ...  | |
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| Ladies: your take on short guys?
Posted: 4/16/2008 7:53:37 AM | The majority of men don't want a woman towering over them any more then the majority of women don't want a guy who is shorter then them. That's just the way it is. Trying to bash others over the head to see things your way will never work. Oh and notice i said the "MAJORITY" . I can hear certain posters chiming in with "well i wouldn't mind at all". Well if you wouldn't mind at all then you are in the minority not the majority. Nowhere did i say all men don't want a woman towering over them or that all women don't want a guy shorter then them.
I don't completely agree with this. There are some shorter men who wouldn't date me because of my height, but I don't think it is the majority of shorter men. There are plenty of other shorter men that don't care about height and have been interested in me. ( By "shorter", I'm referring to men who are 5' 9" or less because I'm 5' 10". )
When I was single, sometimes I looked at some personal ads. Very few men stated any type of height requirements or preference. However a large percentage of women did have a height requirement or preference.
Requirements or preferences who gives a crap. Leave other people alone to do as they wish and you go on and do as you wish as well.
People are entitled to have any height requirement or preference they want. However many women have height preferences or requirements that are often based on false stereotypes and generalizations. If a woman had simply stated that she is more attracted to taller men, then I think a lot less people would crticize these women.
I think you would find that your percentage is quite wrong in regard to a woman's requirement ... I may agree that if a woman is very tall, she may very well have a height requirement for the man she wants to spend her life with ... but truly, 80% is bit high ...
Maybe it's not 80%, but I do think the majority of women ( at least on POF ) want taller men. | |
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| Ladies: your take on short guys?
Posted: 4/16/2008 7:58:03 AM | Oh for pete's sake people... take a look around you. MOST couples I see the women are either the same height or shorter than the men. There are EXCEPTIONS... but I would put money on the concept that a LOT of guys like the feeling that they are a bit bigger than their woman.. BECAUSE.... MOST men ARE larger than MOST women, it's a biological fact that men have a longer growing period than women (estrogen put the brakes on height) Women are pretty much at final height by the age of fourteen, fifteen or sixteen at the latest, while men are still growing at 17/18, or even longer. It isn't discrimination in MOST cases... just what is natural to human beings as far as sexual dimorphism goes. We are USED to seeing that men are , for the most part, bigger, and because we are used to it...we are attracted to it. Does it make modern politically correct sense? No.. but neither does it make sense that some people like blondes, or those with a gap between their front teeth. Attraction is a VERY personal thing... and no amount of whining or trying for affirmative action, or emotional and social blackmail is going to change that.
Different ethnicities also have different 'average' heights.. example, a person of Mediterranean decent is more likely to be shorter than one of say, Nordic descent. A South Asian is more likely to be shorter compared with an Australian.
Now... I don't understand those who have a 'requirement' other than "I like men taller than myself". Having an actual number seems a bit ridiculous... BUT, that is their perogative. And since it is their perogative they don't need to defend it. It's how they feel...
The good news is that people come in all sizes and shapes and PREFERENCES. I'm not big breasted... this is something I can't change (short of surgery.. which I would never do) but I wouldn't consider complaining because some (quite a few actually) men are not attracted to me (oh, AND I'm short) neither would I consider trying to change their minds about WHAT they are attracted to... it's just stupid. I don't like hairy guys either, doesn't matter if they were born that way, it doesn't do it for me... it isn't shallow, it is just what I find attractive, or not.
We all have things about us that we can't do anything about.. and some of these things will make us unappealing to some members of the opposite sex.. oh well. The only thing I can see to do about it is cultivate those things which make us unique, that make us "us"... and trust that there are those out there who will be attracted to us, because of who we are.
Peace | |
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| Ladies: your take on short guys?
Posted: 4/16/2008 8:22:20 AM |
MOST couples I see the women are either the same height or shorter than the men. There are EXCEPTIONS... but I would put money on the concept that a LOT of guys like the feeling that they are a bit bigger than their woman.. BECAUSE.... MOST men ARE larger than MOST women
Of course, most men in a relationship will be taller than the women. The average man is about 5' 9" and the average women is about 5' 4". However this doesn't mean that most men are unwilling to date taller women. If a man is 5' 9" ( average height ), then there are very few women who are actually taller than him. In fact less than 5% of women are 5' 9" or taller. | |
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| Ladies: your take on short guys?
Posted: 4/16/2008 8:37:19 AM | erm, how about, that is wrong? Actually **** it your ALL WRONG!
this heightism business lives in your heads! GET OVER something you can't change and be confident in the person you are! Above all confidence in YOURSELF will land you quality women not your freakin' height!
Its all in your head, Joe. All in your head.
to the gentleman that wrote that...THANK YOU! and lois you were right, kind of given up on this whole topic since certain people are WAAAYY too insecure with themselves to be able to look at things objectively and give opinions that aren't full of gibberish and nonsense. and guess what? i've actually been talking to a guy who is 2 inches shorter than me and he's fantastic! so it really doesn't matter if you have the proper approach. it is a preference, not written in stone guys! | |
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| Ladies: your take on short guys?
Posted: 4/16/2008 9:11:49 AM | | There is a very big difference between a piddling 2 inches and 7 or 8 inches. I would have no problem at all dating someone a couple inches shorter but at 5'8 no way do i want to date a man who is 5'1. I have actually dated men a couple inches shorter then me and i was fine with that but everything has it's limits. I also don't think i would be very comfortable dating a man who is 6'7. | |
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| Ladies: your take on short guys?
Posted: 4/16/2008 9:47:34 AM |
i've actually been talking to a guy who is 2 inches shorter than me and he's fantastic! so it really doesn't matter if you have the proper approach. it is a preference, not written in stone guys!
In "real life", many woman might overlook a man's height because of his personality, attitude etc. However on POF and other internet dating sites, many women do have height requirements ( not preferences ). If a man is under a certain height, then he wouldn't the chance to reveal his personality. | |
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| Ladies: your take on short guys?
Posted: 4/16/2008 9:55:45 AM |
"to the gentleman that wrote that...THANK YOU! and lois you were right, kind of given up on this whole topic since certain people are WAAAYY too insecure with themselves to be able to look at things objectively and give opinions that aren't full of gibberish and nonsense. and guess what? i've actually been talking to a guy who is 2 inches shorter than me and he's fantastic! so it really doesn't matter if you have the proper approach. it is a preference, not written in stone guys!"
Hey Vicious Vix!
I was wondering where you went off to! Yeah, this whole thing gives me a headache because it doesn't seem to sink in, at all. Congrats and your bloke, sounds like the sparks are a flyin'!  woohoo!!
btw, thx for the T too. quite a nice surprise!  
To the poster above me, I'm not sure I would agree with you there. I am more opt to speak with someone online and give them a chance because it's all about the convo to start. If someone has something to say online, I'm going to listen, whereas in the real world, I'm more inclined to say, "Um, thanks but I'm XYZ." So here on POF, a bloke who has more of a chance than less. That's provided he contacts me, of course, it's not like I'm searching for men of shorter stature but if one reaches out, I'll hear him out. | |
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| Ladies: your take on short guys?
Posted: 4/16/2008 10:02:59 AM | northeast25 and other who just don't get it
oh dear god get over it already! just find the one with whom it makes no difference. take the attitude "their loss not mine". seriously, you complain about it when it isn't something you can change, but in reality the same people who are complaining are the ones who call those who make it a preference, superficial and shallow! ask yourselves, "if this person is really that fussy about someones height, weight, age, looks, etc., is it someone i want to be with anyhow?" | |
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| Ladies: your take on short guys?
Posted: 4/16/2008 11:47:29 AM | just find the one with whom it makes no difference. take the attitude "their loss not mine".
I agree with this. However that is different than what you mentioned in your previous post. You basically stated height doesn't matter if he has right approach. I simply disagreed and said many women ( at least on POF ) do have height requirements. My opinion was based on what I have seen, heard, and read. Just because someone has a different opinion that you do, it doesn't necessary mean that their opinion is non-sense or that they are whining.
BTW, I never called a woman shallow for having a height requirement or preference. However I will criticize a height preference or requirement WHEN it based on false stereotypes and generalizations. | |
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| Ladies: your take on short guys?
Posted: 4/16/2008 12:27:13 PM |
Just because someone has a different opinion that you do, it doesn't necessary mean that their opinion is non-sense or that they are whining.
that was not in reference to you, but a few others here and in the last forum before it was moved. (and you know who you are without naming names)
many people put preferences on here and people don't go and start up threads because of it. i am a smoker in the process of quitting (almost there...went from a pack a day habit down to maybe 10/day...yay!) and there was a period when i wasn't smoking at all, so i put that i am no longer a smoker because i've reached a point that i don't NEED a cigarette on a consistent basis and can be around non-smokers and not need to light up. A LOT of POFers have a no-smoker filter on their mail settings. yet, i'm not complaininng about it because it doesn't offend me, even though it excludes getting to know my personality. the 2 are really not that different. it is a person's choice if they want to do that. if people don't want to get to know a fantastic gal like me because i light up from time to time (even though it would never be in their presence or before i'd go and meet up with them), their loss. smoking isn't my life and i'd like to surround myself with people who do not smoke so it is easier for me to quit. i simply don't care and will not start a thread or debate on the topic because it is a person's choice in what they seek. if they want to be THAT specific, then fine. i mean really, what's it to you? | |
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| Ladies: your take on short guys?
Posted: 4/16/2008 1:17:00 PM | Executive Summary
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Bullying is still bullying. Ridicule is still ridicule. They are intentionally off topic and only prove there is likely no defense.
No one is demanding change or even a defense. The roots of the behaviour are being discussed… that is all. Trying to shame people off the topic is only showing that some are very sensitive to the truth behind it.
It’s not shallow. Some only hope that they can be afforded that superficiality.
It’s the same old straw men being beaten to deflect the issue.
No one can quit “shorting” or “talling” LoL. Anyone (yes, anyone) can quit, start or continue smoking. (People can choose to quit ridiculing and discuss the topic too).
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Msg 1169
many people put preferences on here and people don't go and start up threads because of it
(There’s no intention to steal Northeastern thunder as we are certain he can dismantle this deflection just as easily) That is irrelevant. Firstly, the existence of plaintiffs for other issues is wholly independent of this behaviour. Secondly, the example chosen, that of smoking is a voluntary lifestyle. Thirdly, these threads are more about uncovering the roots of the behaviour rather than a “complaint fest”. The mislabeling is purposeful by some in order to dismiss any discussion of this as merely “whining”. If one truly does not want to read about this or listen to apparent “whining”, they could easily surf right past it. To stay and shout down the opposition is only an attempt to censor others from discussion… curious how that is the very “controlling others” that defenders of height requirements are so critical of.
Discuss the topic if you care or ignore it if you don’t. Name-calling and ridiculing is neither of those options.
Msg 1167…
northeast25 and other who just don't get it
No… NorthEast and other who are arguing along a similar line, do completely “get it”. It is pretending that a thread discussing the aversion to lack-of-height by a noticeable number of ads by women seeking men online is about changing the minds of the zealot, that is speciously “not getting it”. Name-calling, and ridiculing is merely bullying and only proves the point that those who defend this behaviour really have nothing to disprove that it is tied into lowered self-esteem. Feel free to prove this wrong (hey, you don’t “have to”, but then again, no one has to come here and bully either unless they are just trying to stop others from talking about this).
“Shallow”? Whether any given height restrictor is shallow remains to be seen and is really not necessary to determine the cause of the behaviour. The behaviour is all about projection and denial. Often, people hope to be labeled as shallow as it evokes the kind of superficiality that the stereotypical aloof Hollywood star might have. By so doing, they hope to inherit the idealized attributes that those who can afford to be superficial have. In reality, the roots of lack-of-height aversion are all about the projection of a negative self-image and the insecurity it causes rather than a true knowledge of self.
Msg 1163…
erm, how about, that is wrong? Actually **** it your ALL WRONG!
this heightism business lives in your heads! GET OVER something you can't change and be confident in the person you are! Above all confidence in YOURSELF will land you quality women not your freakin' height!
Its all in your head, Joe. All in your head.
to the gentleman that wrote that...THANK YOU! and lois you were right, kind of given up on this whole topic since certain people are WAAAYY too insecure with themselves to be able to look at things objectively and give opinions that aren't full of gibberish and nonsense. and guess what? i've actually been talking to a guy who is 2 inches shorter than me and he's fantastic! so it really doesn't matter if you have the proper approach. it is a preference, not written in stone guys!
It is absurd to state that such behaviour is completely conjured by would-be victims and vicarious observer alike, when explicit height restrictions are easily encountered on women seeking men ads here (as well as other online sites). The amount of badgering and off-topic ranting in lieu of discussion in attempts to silence these threads is also a strong clue that this behaviour not only exists, but is a product of lowered self-esteem that many critics have identified.
For that reason, the collective thanks the author of that absolute falsehood too. It helps to show how defenders of irrational behaviours can be in denial of the truth. Having the ability to compensate does not address the obstacle that some need to overcome. It is the obstacle and why it exists we are addressing here. Very few “nice-but-really-must-haves” are as prevalent as lack-of-height aversion online. Merely saying to those facing these obstacles, “get over it, we all have obstacles” is purposely ignoring this disparity.
The discussion isn’t about those that really only hold height as a nice-to-have. It’s about those that hold it as a must-have. The constant euphemistic use of “preference” should not be confused with the genuine use of it (no matter how often some try). If one truly does not hold such irrationality then their anecdotal experience is essentially irrelevant to this.
Incidentally, ascribing “certain people” that are not swayed by illogical arguments as “insecure” or prone to “gibberish and nonsense” is merely name-calling and an attempt to discredit their argument. If one cannot counter the point, resorting to personal attack is usually indicative of an indefensible position.
Just resorting to calling people “whiners”? RoFl. Discuss the topic, or concede, by action or inaction otherwise, that you have nothing to offer in defense of this behaviour. | |
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| Ladies: your take on short guys?
Posted: 4/16/2008 1:45:10 PM | excuse me b0rg, but i did "discuss the roots of the behaviour " in my first few posts, as well as many other women gave their insight and personal reasoning for the initial question asked and we were attacked for it, being called "shallow" and "superficial", etc. and told that myself and other women here had no depth or character or that we basically shouldn't be having a height preference...excuse me, but it is our choice whom we do and do not wish to date. like other tall women here, we do not post a height requirement and do not refuse communication with men because of their stature. we simply gave our reasoning as to our preference. the initial reasoning i gave when this thread first started up was because i am tall, as well as the other women who are tall gave the same reason for our "heightism". i also initially stated that it could be because many women feel a better sense of security with a taller individual. just an insight. i never attacked anyone, called anyone shallow in my first 3 or 4 posts on the topic, yet some men felt the need to attack us and our preferences because we initially gave a woman's perspective/opinion on the issue.
Anyone (yes, anyone) can quit, start or continue smoking.
as i already stated, i am in the process of quitting smoking. what i am attempting to say is while those who do not meet certain people's height requirements are angry that they are excluded because their personalities aren't able to be judged due to the person's preference. my personality isn't considered either because i have an addiction to something. my personality also isn't considered sometimes because i have brown eyes, and brown hair...something i was born with and cannot change. yes i could dye my hair and get coloured contacts (i'm not in the habit of changing how i look because i am very comfortable with how i look and wouldn't do it because it's something someone else wants)!, but those who have the insecurity with height could also get lifts in their shoes if it is such an issue for them! | |
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| Ladies: your take on short guys?
Posted: 4/16/2008 2:34:28 PM | The majority of men don't want a woman towering over them any more then the majority of women don't want a guy who is shorter then them.
Both you and galaxy75 (post # 3.) made a point of stating that no man wants a taller women based on the mans insecurities of his own hight. I am not all men and there are some of us shorter men that do not have a problem with taller women towering over us. My real proble with this thread despite all the times I have contributed to it, is that people overly generalize each other as we all do on the other threads.
I am not trying to change anyone, merely stating that some people have absurd notions about hight. Im 5'6" and I concider that short. I do not mind dating a woman 6' tall wearing 7 inch heals. I am not hung up on hight like most of you ( not all of you). I am hung up on the fact that all to many women have a hang up with hight even if the declare otherwise.
From what I gatherered from all the posts I have read, Most women are insecuire and care what the world thinks of them. Sadly, even more women feel that a short guy wont protct them or is weak. Women that think short men are ugly makes no sence to me. If you took what would otherwise be identical twims but one was taller than the other, they look the same. Both look like a mirror image, only one is taller. I do not think looks and hight go hand in hand, I'm sorry. For those that it is a real prefference, I aplaud you, as you are willing to go out with someone who isnt tall if they look good. Fopr those that hight is a requirement, well maybe that is a reason you are still single? | |
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| Ladies: your take on short guys?
Posted: 4/16/2008 2:44:51 PM | that was not in reference to you, but a few others here and in the last forum before it was moved. (and you know who you are without naming names)
many people put preferences on here and people don't go and start up threads because of it. i am a smoker in the process of quitting (almost there...went from a pack a day habit down to maybe 10/day...yay!) and there was a period when i wasn't smoking at all, so i put that i am no longer a smoker because i've reached a point that i don't NEED a cigarette on a consistent basis and can be around non-smokers and not need to light up. A LOT of POFers have a no-smoker filter on their mail settings. yet, i'm not complaininng about it because it doesn't offend me, even though it excludes getting to know my personality. the 2 are really not that different. it is a person's choice if they want to do that. if people don't want to get to know a fantastic gal like me because i light up from time to time (even though it would never be in their presence or before i'd go and meet up with them), their loss. smoking isn't my life and i'd like to surround myself with people who do not smoke so it is easier for me to quit. i simply don't care and will not start a thread or debate on the topic because it is a person's choice in what they seek. if they want to be THAT specific, then fine. i mean really, what's it to you?
Are you serious?
How can you compare smoking (a personal behavioral decision) with someone's height (an immutable physical characteristic)? That's like comparing eating ice-cream with someone's race.
Regardless of some people's wishful thinking, it is (in fact) shallow to preemptively reject large numbers of people with different hopes, dreams, aspirations, ideals, and beliefs - based on their height (a single physical characteristic that cannot be changed and which should have no social significance). And yet, it's a very common practice. However, a shallow behavior does not become reasonable, simply because the behavior is shared by a lot of people.
You make it sound like rejecting a person based on their height is a neutral decision, when it isn't. Rejecting someone based on their height is basically like rejecting someone based on their race. There is nothing "wrong" with it, but it is shallow and you shouldn't be surprised when some people get offended. If height were like hair color in our society, then this thread would probably not even exist. However, height is not a neutral characteristic because our society has a strong bias against short men and in favor of tall men in every facet of life. So I understand why a lot of guys take this personally because it's hard to know where individual preference stops and social height bigotry starts. They tend to blend together, I think.
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| Ladies: your take on short guys?
Posted: 4/16/2008 2:45:00 PM | | ^^^oh that must be it norseviking! that's just as pety as if i were to say that the shorter men are still single because they are short! we're all here for the same reasons...why trash one another because we're single? some us actually truly enjoy the single life. i'm not saying that to be hateful or anything, however no one has indicated here that people are single BECAUSE of something. isn't that the point of being on POF? | |
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| Ladies: your take on short guys?
Posted: 4/16/2008 2:50:01 PM | in my first few posts, as well as many other women gave their insight and personal reasoning for the initial question asked and we were attacked for it, being called "shallow" and "superficial", etc. and told that myself and other women here had no depth or character or that we basically shouldn't be having a height preference
I ( and other people ) have mentioned this before and it is worth repeating. It's not necessary the height preference or requirement itself that offends people. It's the reasons that many women give for their height preference or requirement that offends people. A taller man can "protect" a man better, taller men better have genes, short men have "Napoleon Complex" among others etc. I am a tall woman ( 5' 10" ) and fortunately I don't need a taller man or any person / object to feel more "feminine". | |
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| Ladies: your take on short guys?
Posted: 4/16/2008 2:54:08 PM |
^^^oh that must be it norseviking! that's just as pety as if i were to say that the shorter men are still single because they are short!
But most shorter men ARE single because they are short. How can you not see that? Have you not read the comments of most women on this forum? The replies range from polite rejection to outright hostility against short men. | |
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