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| Ladies: your take on short guys?
Posted: 4/23/2008 4:25:11 AM | I can't tell you ho many different ways I try to discourage short guys from emailing me.
I am 5'7" I like my heels and I would be the one who feels uncomfortable with a short guy. If I read that a guy likes an athletic body I don't contact him, but the short guys they never give up! I try to make up something when I respond because I don't want to hurt thier feelings, but on the other hand if they read my profile they would know that I won't be interested. Is it me?
Man, you're approaching the big 5-0, and you're still concerned with appearances and other superficial things like height.
I can expect this from a woman in her 20's, eventheir 30's...but late 40's? Come on, seriously....at your age, you can't really afford to be picky, esp. when it comes to height.
I thought as people got older, matured a little, they changed their priorities for the better. Heck, I'm 5'9" and that wouldn't be tall enough for her. lol....oh...right.....you have to "factor some extension on the end of a shoe".
Yeah, I get a kick out of someone who throws out the "I deserve to be happy" card....you mean to tell me a shorter man will make you depressed and sad? LOL.
I also see that many people seem to want some kind of logical rationale for why women 5'4" or less insist on only dating men 5'10" or taller. What difference does it make, really? If that's what the girl likes, then why SHOULDN'T she try and obtain it?
FeFe -
She's only 5'4", why can't a man who is TALLER than HER....be enough? How can a 5'8" man be TOO short for a 5'4" woman? VERY shallow indeed. Sorry, I'm just quick to label them as such. Just seems logical.
I can see the logic of a real tall woman wanting a man that's her ht. or taller...but a woman who is ALREADY a petite 5'4" wanting a man that's WAY above her, is silly.
I mean, that's like me only limiting myself to women with sized D cup boobs or bigger, not "Settling" on a woman with C or smaller. Just food for thought, think about it.
Some of these ladies are doing themselves in for "Cat Lady" status, I swear. LOL!
I guess I am one of those unique guys that simply is not all that picky when it comes to looks. I guess it's wierd to most that I have no problem being physically attracted to most women. That's typically the easy part.
You'd be suprised what women I find attractive, that ALOT of men don't.
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| Ladies: your take on short guys?
Posted: 4/23/2008 4:56:31 AM |
Why consider someone shallow if they choose to use the internet as a means to order up exactly what it is that they want?
You just encapsulated what turns my stomach about this process. You are not shopping. You are not at the deli counter.
In real life, you can't 'order up' who you're going to meet. Real world encounters make you strike balances between a variety of needs.
Maybe this is a generational thing, but when I was coming of age women in the circles I traveled were much more stridently feminist. Men referring to women in meat market terms would have been ostracized. I wouldn't put 'I'm looking for XYZ physical attributes' in my profile. Too me, at a minimum, it's bad taste.
But rarely is there ever ONLY ONE attribute someone is seeking.
No doubt. But we only know you via profile here. My (I think reasonable) assumption is that people put in their profiles what matters most to them. It's going to be read that way.
The suggestion that women are a waste of time if they are too rigid in their requirements, I think is incorrect. The opposite is true. They aren't wasting their time,
My point is, if I read a profile with a height requirement, and I make the cut-off, I won't respond. I just don't care for the man-shopping attitude, and I think those that display it are a waste of time.
Could it be that we tend to get specific, because we do not want to appear desperate?
I would like to fine you $1 every time you express a concern about what other people think. You're smarter than 90% of the population ... who cares what a bunch of dummies think? Especially on-line.
Now a question for you: is it possible for a person to be shallow? If so, describe what a person would have to do to be considered shallow. | |
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| Ladies: your take on short guys?
Posted: 4/23/2008 4:59:52 AM |
I can't tell you how many different ways I try to discourage short guys from emailing me.
Golly, what an insult to get email from someone under 5'11"!
Have someone show you how to use the delete function. | |
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| Ladies: your take on short guys?
Posted: 4/23/2008 4:59:58 AM |
okeedokee444 wrote: She's only 5'4", why can't a man who is TALLER than HER....be enough? How can a 5'8" man be TOO short for a 5'4" woman? VERY shallow indeed. Sorry, I'm just quick to label them as such. Just seems logical.
I can see the logic of a real tall woman wanting a man that's her ht. or taller...but a woman who is ALREADY a petite 5'4" wanting a man that's WAY above her, is silly.
Some of these ladies are doing themselves in for "Cat Lady" status, I swear. LOL!
Like too many homes in North America, too many North American women are pricing themselves out of the market. You see more and more retiring Americans move to countries where the dollar actually has some value and they can buy a home without getting stuck with a 40-year mortgage. Also, you're seeing more and more American men courting/dating and marrying foreign women who value what the American man has to offer (and not just money or a green card!). There are no official statistics on this, but I would imagine that the divorce rate between American men and foreign women to be much less than the divorce rate between American men and American women.
In a way be thankful you're not a tall guy. Otherwise, when a woman chooses you, the next thing she'll want is a house you can't afford by yourself. Sure, she may work for a while and even have her own career, but when she has kids she will most likely want to be a full-time mom. Americans (both men and women) for the most part are not too smart with money. That would explain our negative national savings rate of 4%. And I can imagine married people having less sex, at least with each other. The man is most likely to cheat, but he will not want to be found out because he doesn't want to lose most of what he has in a divorce, so he's very much trapped. If you're a short guy who's bemoaning the fact he can't get a date, then sit through a session of divorce court proceedings and you'll feel much better that you're not that guy.  | |
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| Ladies: your take on short guys?
Posted: 4/23/2008 5:13:46 AM | Why consider someone shallow if they choose to use the internet as a means to order up exactly what it is that they want?
You just encapsulated what turns my stomach about this process. You are not shopping. You are not at the deli counter.
In real life, you can't 'order up' who you're going to meet. Real world encounters make you strike balances between a variety of needs.
Wierd, I went to get something to eat, and while eating, I had this run through my mind, and decided to post it here.
I bet you dimes to the dollar, that these women (the 5'4" wanting 5'10" or 6'0" men), if they met an 5'8" guy in person, they probably would not even notice.
By using the internet, they've made themselves more picky and shallow. That's why I'm kinda waning from internet dating, and meeting people RL allows people to see me for me, and by what stats. they see in my profile....and immediately dismiss me and not even give me a shot.
I would like to fine you $1 every time you express a concern about what other people think. You're smarter than 90% of the population ... who cares what a bunch of dummies think? Especially on-line.
Thing is, I think women use the "people might think I am desperate" card as an excuse for her TRUE reason for not dating a shorter man.
Now a question for you: is it possible for a person to be shallow? If so, describe what a person would have to do to be considered shallow.
4 Duty and Humanity -
I have a friend who stated that the TRUE shallowness is ,"When you date someone ONLY for looks and money" and don't like them for ANYTHING ELSE.
Basically, being "Shallow" is dating someone you don't even LIKE. The only reason you date them is because of their big t*ts, hot *ss, their fancy sports car, etc etc.
A shallow person could care less about someone's personality or characteristics, their main goal is just for ONLY and EXCLUSIVELY dating them for just the above.
According to him....if you care about someone's personality, but you'd also like her with big boobs....well...apparently that does NOT make you shallow
I kind of disagreed with him, because I've noticed how Picky/shallow even HE can be. | |
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| Ladies: your take on short guys?
Posted: 4/23/2008 7:24:21 AM | Blonde, blue-eyed, barbie doll figures are no doubt the majority preference of males. Meh incorrect, I'd take Pamela Anderson and her peroxide, balloonish fake tits, botox, and her "it's all about me" attitude and flush all that crap right down the toilet. A woman who can confidently project her uniqueness with a healthy mindset is my "blond blue-eyed barbie doll".
And why are we so hard on this Napoleon guy? Sucker conquered Europe! As if any of you ladies wouldn't be attracted to THAT OT: French hegemony over Europe was albeit unprecedented but brief, and ever since Napoleon, France has lost any chance it might have had to be a world superpower. Nothing attractive about that.
it seems to me that there is often the suggestion that if a woman specifies a height...as a preference, a requirement, or whatever...she is then labeled as being shallow Incorrect, the bigger issue here is people regardless of gender rationalizing their requirements as being "preferences", then making ignorant bigoted arguments to support their prejudices. Nothing wrong with having preferences. All people with self esteem have preferences, that isn't the issue.
Why consider someone shallow if they choose to use the internet as a means to order up exactly what it is that they want? Because interpersonal relationships shouldn't be made analogous to ordering a Whopper at BK?
women like me are limiting our dating pool. Yup, we are. I for one am okay with that. I WANT to limit my dating pool. I don't play by the concept of "it's a numbers game". I want quality, not quantity. No wonder why so many women bemoan their unhealthy relationships--their failures hinge on not making the distinction between "pool limiting" and "quality seeking". You aren't seeking quality if you limit your pool incorrectly. Any success you might have is more attributed to random probability, not a discernable choice. I certainly don't encourage a "numbers game" approach, rather:
embrace an "enlightened" attitude toward understanding and defining what "requirements" should be as opposed to preferences
take into account there are intangibles that are not easily defined
give oneself the opportunity and have confidence to make worthy judgment calls as it relates to relationship chemistry | |
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| Ladies: your take on short guys?
Posted: 4/23/2008 8:38:39 AM | Has any woman said "I don't care if he rude, mean, lazy, greedy, self-centered, or downright ugly, as long as he is tall." No. Just because I am attracted to tall men, doesn't mean I am attracted to ALL tall men. Height is just one of the first things I notice before I decide to take the time to discover if there are other attractive attributes under the surface.
No. But it does mean that you are attracted to NO short men, no matter how kind, nice, ambitious, giving, or downright handsome he may be. That's why some people are offended by height preferences, but extremely offended by height REQUIREMENTS. Through a height requirement, you are saying that some tall men are better than other tall men, but ANY tall man is better than EVERY short one. Do you not see how this could be seen as offensive?
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| Ladies: your take on short guys?
Posted: 4/23/2008 9:20:47 AM | it seems to me that there is often the suggestion that if a woman specifies a height...as a preference, a requirement, or whatever...she is then labeled as being shallow.
Some people are missing the point. It's not necessary the height preference or requirement itself that is offensive. Howver nany women have given insulting reasons for their height preference or requirement. This has been mentioned many times on this thread and others. If/When a man states that he doesn't date fat women because he thinks fat women are lazy, unhealthy, smell like pigs etc, he is harshly criticized for these comments. Same thing should apply to women who make similiar false and rude generalizations about short men.
I also see that many people seem to want some kind of logical rationale for why women 5'4" or less insist on only dating men 5'10" or taller. What difference does it make, really? If that's what the girl likes, then why SHOULDN'T she try and obtain it?
A woman who is 5' 4" probably couldn't tell the difference between a man who is 5' 10" and a man who is either 5' 8" or 5' 9". Either way, the man is clearly taller than she is. | |
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| Ladies: your take on short guys?
Posted: 4/23/2008 1:23:08 PM | To cg789:
Thank you,it's great to know that at least a small number of women out there get it.
I have read your posts on a few topics ,and you are one got-it together lady.
You have posted a number of times about women who give insulting reasons for
having a ht. preference is very much on the money.you don't have to look far for a
glaring example.
[Msg 1261]A woman posts that she won't date men shorter than her as she views them
as children and having to be a guardian and protector instead of being protected]
I find comments such as that insulting,it implies that a short man cannot protect her
or himself ,and will be prey to any larger person that chose to do them harm.To spread
this type of negative B.S. about any man,be they short-average -or tall is just plain wrong.If I were to say to a woman for example [and I never would] you are to short or
to tall or to fat , so how could you ever be a fit mother for raising children.
this type of comment cuts directly to how a woman views herself ,just as the to short
to protect comment cut to self pride and how we view ourselves as men.
Date with whatever preference you want ,it's your business, but do not make comments that will breed more disrespect for a group of men that have to fight for
every oz. of respect they get ,as it is.
I can promise you that I am quite capable of defending myself ,but my question
to any one is this?why is it that if a short man insists on getting due respect [not
picking a fight,just not looking to get walked on] he has short man syndrome.
If a tall person does the same thing ,he is just being confidant. Is it that we are viewed
as children and they are not allowed to speak up for themselves. | |
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| Ladies: your take on short guys?
Posted: 4/23/2008 1:33:14 PM |
Some people are missing the point. It's not necessary the height preference or requirement itself that is offensive. Howver nany women have given insulting reasons for their height preference or requirement. This has been mentioned many times on this thread and others. If/When a man states that he doesn't date fat women because he thinks fat women are lazy, unhealthy, smell like pigs etc, he is harshly criticized for these comments. Same thing should apply to women who make similiar false and rude generalizations about short men.
And as stated before, the significant difference between height and weight is....and it has been stated COUNTLESS times on here...."Usually, something can be done about weight, but nothing can be done about height."
Unless you wear lifts in your shoes or something, lol. | |
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| Ladies: your take on short guys?
Posted: 4/23/2008 1:48:51 PM | "but the short guys they never give up! I try to make up something when I respond because I don't want to hurt thier feelings, but on the other hand if they read my profile they would know that I won't be interested. Is it me?"
Why make such a big deal about it? You don't even have to make anything up just delete their email and move on.
"Yeah, I get a kick out of someone who throws out the "I deserve to be happy" card....you mean to tell me a shorter man will make you depressed and sad? LOL"
It's not just that. It's this over developed sense of entitlement that alot of height snob women have. That they believe they somehow "deserve" happiness that only a tall man can get them that happiness and anyone who doesn't measure up is deemed unworthy. "I DESERVE to be with a tall man and won't settle for anything less" I DESERVE happiness"
Actually No you don't.
Just because you want something doesn't mean you automatically deserve to get it. | |
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| Ladies: your take on short guys?
Posted: 4/23/2008 2:12:40 PM |
Actually No you don't.
Just because you want something doesn't mean you automatically deserve to get it.
Nor does it mean that the "thing" you desire is even "good". All that glitters is not gold. We've already been through the statistic that tall men are statistically more likely to cheat and have higher divorce rates than short men.
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| Ladies: your take on short guys?
Posted: 4/23/2008 2:19:38 PM | okeedokee444 wrote:
I can see the logic of a real tall woman wanting a man that's her ht. or taller...but a woman who is ALREADY a petite 5'4" wanting a man that's WAY above her, is silly.
I must take exception with this statement. In fact, I reject the underlying principle of this logic.
If we accept the notion (and I do not) that a man should be at least the same height as, or, (x) inches taller than a woman, then what (x) = is actually irrelevant, because we've conceded that logically, the man must be taller, and so if taller has more value than shorter, then as many women have stated, "the taller, the better". If we agree with this statement, then every "short man" thread has no real merit. Also, the inverse of the original statement would be, "I can't see the logic of a real tall woman wanting a man that's shorter than her..." Simply stated then, "if it's right for a woman to want a taller man, than it's wrong for her to want a shorter man." (Hmn, that doesn't right.)
My point is that clearly much of this entire issue is not one of logic at all, but of rationalized feelings.
Me? I like women who like me - whatever their height. | |
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| Ladies: your take on short guys?
Posted: 4/23/2008 4:24:04 PM |
Me? I like women who like me - whatever their height.
Unfortunately, alot of women aren't like this.
How many men have you met that actually said, even though the chick was a real "babe", didn't like the babe that was a tall woman? Not many.
Tall women seem to project THEIR feelings onto the shorter men.
"I don't date shorter men because, because THEY have a problem with it" when it is actually HER who has the problem with it. She just assumes men have problem with her height.
I really don't understand the forumla you gave, so I ignored it after the first few words, figured there was no need to read the rest of it without zoning out. | |
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| Ladies: your take on short guys?
Posted: 4/23/2008 7:41:21 PM |
No wonder why so many women bemoan their unhealthy relationships--their failures hinge on not making the distinction between "pool limiting" and "quality seeking". You aren't seeking quality if you limit your pool incorrectly. Any success you might have is more attributed to random probability, not a discernable choice. I certainly don't encourage a "numbers game" approach, rather:
I couldnt agree more. While the dating pool could use a bit of chlorine, I think it is a litttle harsh to give up on one tyope of man based upon prejudices.
No. But it does mean that you are attracted to NO short men, no matter how kind, nice, ambitious, giving, or downright handsome he may be. That's why some people are offended by height preferences, but extremely offended by height REQUIREMENTS. Through a height requirement, you are saying that some tall men are better than other tall men, but ANY tall man is better than EVERY short one. Do you not see how this could be seen as offensive?
My thoughts exactly. John and Bike, you two are pretty dang intelligent to be hanging out in these here forums. | |
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| Ladies: your take on short guys?
Posted: 4/23/2008 8:49:39 PM |
Tall women seem to project THEIR feelings onto the shorter men.
"I don't date shorter men because, because THEY have a problem with it" when it is actually HER who has the problem with it. She just assumes men have problem with her height.
I really don't understand the forumla you gave, so I ignored it after the first few words, figured there was no need to read the rest of it without zoning out.
Everyone projects their feelings onto the other person - tall, or short. To be fair, I have read too many posts from both men that have problems with women's height, AND men with the same problem. It makes me cringe every time, regardless of who is complaining.
Regarding my "formula", I intended to address the duality of people's issue with height in general - and the hypocritical "reverse double standard" wherein men understand really tall women's "requirement for taller men" vs "regular sized" women wanting specific heights in their men.
Either we care about height (even if you don't like where you fit), or we don't. | |
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| Ladies: your take on short guys?
Posted: 4/24/2008 5:05:12 AM | | I am 5ft 10 an i like both short guys an tall ones there no difference to me except the shorter ones are easier to keep up with an dont tend lose me if where somewheres cause the taller than me ones i have run to keep up with when walkings . | |
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| Ladies: your take on short guys?
Posted: 4/24/2008 6:25:29 AM | woman's key to happiness in life: shut out 70% of men and focus on just 30% of them....not even give the other 70% a second glance.
when the few men you focus on are in such high demand by other women doing exactly as you do, simply deal with
1) being used for a one-night stand because the guy has so many other women like you wanting him
2) the jealousy of other women wanting your "treasure"
3) the actual cheating the guy is able to do because women AVAIL themselves to him so much (men do what they are allowed to do, it's not them making it happen unless it's rape)
4) being divorced with kids and relish in the fact that you had a tall guy that was so important
the generality above is appropriate. to those lacking in logic, i am not specifically talking about what happens with short guys as the basis is altered despite the end result can still occur. the fact is, when women focus PREDOMINANTLY on one trait, the foremost trait before considering anything else, they CREATE an imbalance in their group who's sole mission is to obtain a man with one particular flimsy characteristic, and when that is liek a 70% group of women going after 30% of men, you have a 2:1 ratio and some women will say they'll go with those odds to avoid shorter guys...and they'll risk the greater chances of trouble by virtue of how females behave!!!!...you coudl study female baboons to understnad better how viscious women are to each other...they are motivated by jealousy more than true independent assessment of situation. | |
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| Ladies: your take on short guys?
Posted: 4/24/2008 10:58:18 AM |
when women focus PREDOMINANTLY on one trait, the foremost trait before considering anything else, they CREATE an imbalance in their group who's sole mission is to obtain a man with one particular flimsy characteristic, and when that is liek a 70% group of women going after 30% of men, you have a 2:1 ratio and some women will say they'll go with those odds to avoid shorter guys...and they'll risk the greater chances of trouble by virtue of how females behave!!!!...you coudl study female baboons to understnad better how viscious women are to each other...they are motivated by jealousy more than true independent assessment of situation.
Very good points. Another point is when you focus that haeavily on certain traits of men to that point, Not only is cheating a posiblity but that certain bad traits you did not want may be far more previalent. | |
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| Ladies: your take on short guys?
Posted: 4/24/2008 11:09:17 AM | half-alien
Not sur eif you remember that post I made about the Speed Dating event in my area....where the women SOLD OUT, while there were still tickets left for men.
I wonder if the reason is because men actually realized if they were to attend that event, they know, even though there will be a "plethora" o fwomen there (I mean, come on man....they SOLD OUT!!)....they'd they stand a chance with MORE women than men appearing at the event.
But chances are they wiseed up and realized that if they WERE To attend the Speed Dating event.....they would be under seroius close scrutiny anyways, and probably being rejected by every single woman there (even though the number of women outnumber thenumber of men.)
It's funny how women, in a given situation, will outnumber the MEN at certain events (specifically if SINGLE people will be there). | |
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| Ladies: your take on short guys?
Posted: 4/24/2008 11:47:36 AM |
Not sur eif you remember that post I made about the Speed Dating event in my area....where the women SOLD OUT, while there were still tickets left for men.
This is probably because not all tall men are willing to cheat on their woman (at least not where they could be easily found out). And because there are less single tall men than there are single short men, there simply aren't many single tall men to go around. They already only make up 25% to 30% of the male population (men 6'0" or taller). Then, when you take the population of SINGLE TALL MEN, we are talking about maybe 5% of the male population? And then look at the percentage of women who are seeking tall men...maybe 80%? So of course the female tickets will be SOLD OUT, and there will be plenty of tall male tickets left.
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| Ladies: your take on short guys?
Posted: 4/24/2008 1:28:52 PM | here's a fair comparison:
1. fat tall man IS better than fit shorter man
2. child-molesting tall man IS better than a principled shorter man
3. cheating tall man IS better than an honorable shorter man
4. drug addict tall man IS better than a clean shorter man
5. unemployed tall man IS better than a gainfully employed shorter man
6. an insensitive tall man IS better than a thoughtful shorter man
7. an in debt tall man IS better than a solvent shorter man
8. a lazy tall man IS better than a helpful shorter man
unless the short guy is an actor or rockstar to make the lowly female mind actuated in creating a desire NOT because there is anything behind the desire with a rational basis, but because they FEAR other women would want the guy so much that they make a great effort to make certain no other woman gets him. CHEW ON THAT FOR A FEW MINUTES.
it's just so obvious. short guys should just end their lives now and save women the horrible experiences of a short guy coming onto them. Wow, I can really see it through the women's eyes now: IT IS SOOOO DREADFUL for a 5'7" man to look at a 5'0" woman who desires to wear 4" high heels on occasion and that would put him at too short for she wants him to be an additional 4" beyond her in high heels. A 5'2" woman can't be with a 5'4" man becuase he has to fight off tyranasauruses and wouldn't feel protected. A chubby 5'3" woman has to be with a man at least 6'0 or taller because it'd make her look smaller. A 5'8" woman can't be with a 5'6" man because if anyone took a photo of them together it'd look weird or if seen in public together she'd feel embarassed. I see the logic now....
I feel for the ladies here. it is ONLY a preference, a preference of wanting to have a greater chance of having messed up relationships.
how many here are divorced with kids? was a tall guy the dad or a short guy? of all the times a woman felt she was used, was it from a tall man or a short man? let's get a poll going! | |
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| Ladies: your take on short guys?
Posted: 4/24/2008 2:12:57 PM | Cheating is a behavior flaw that is not associated with being tall or short. A taller man may have more options, but having options isn't enough for you to actually cheat. Otherwise all women would be cheaters because we always have the option to have sex with strangers. No offense. But maybe humanity as a whole wants what it wants and is more inclined to cheat if given the opportunity. And it's only more visible in the tall man camp because the chances are available to them. I wouldn't choose a guy who is only faithful to me because he doesn't get a chance to be unfaithful. Being tall or short doesn't determine whether you have integrity or not. My dad is 5'5" and cheated on my mom.
of all the times a woman felt she was used, was it from a tall man or a short man?
If most women choose tall men over short ones, then the likelihood it was a tall man that hurt them is going to go up. For example if I only date men who wear glasses anytime a guy I was dating hurt me he would be classified as a guy who wore glasses. Of course the number of men that hurt me were glasses wearers would be higher than the number of men that hurt me that didn't wear glasses. I should have chosen a less wordy analogy. :\
To actually answer your question though, the biggest jerk of them all was 5'3". The second biggest jerk of them all was 5'11". The third biggest jerk of them all ways 5"6". Nicest was 5'9". I'm shorter than everyone so I can tell height within an inch. Having someone taller than me is nothing new. *lol* | |
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| Ladies: your take on short guys?
Posted: 4/24/2008 2:16:17 PM | Just a suggestion: Maybe women posting comments on this thread to the effect that they like "tall" men should state their own height in their post. I think that would clear up a lot of confusion, because it seems like it's mostly taller than average women saying that they like taller than average men.
I can completely understand if a women who's taller than me isn't attracted to me. But maybe that's just because I like women who are shorter than me. At 5'7", that still leaves more than half the female population at my disposal. *grin*
If you're a short guy, look for a women who's shorter than you. It's not that complicated. | |
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