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| Do women mind single dads with kids
Posted: 7/4/2005 10:28:29 PM | | Hi Mac....I'm 50 and have a 9 yr old son...meeting a guy around my age is next to impossible cos their children are grown up and in college or at least have moved out...I am so happy and have a fabulous life with my boy...I would love to meet a single Dad...with 1 or 10 kids...I don't care! I usually have a bunch of the neighbours kids here all of the time anyway to play with my guy and our dogs!!!Please don't give up-there ARE some good-hearted women out there....you just have to find us! hee hee...(and we'll be looking for a guy like you...) | |
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| Do women mind single dads with kids
Posted: 7/9/2005 8:53:51 AM | | I'd rather meet a guy with his own kids-I have two of my own but don't want more (meaning I don't want to have more myself). Most guys in their 30's that don't have kids really want their own. I feel like there's some pressure in dating a single guy/no kids in that some of them don't mind that you have kids but they want to add to your litter so to speak lol. | |
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| Do women mind single dads with kids
Posted: 7/10/2005 11:13:04 AM | HUMM WELL MOST WOMEN ASK THAT TOO !WHEN THE SHOES ON THE OTHER FOOT!
I AM DIVORCING AFTER 7 LONG YEARS OF MARRIGE~I HAVE 4 BUITIFUL CHILDREN...
I OFTEN DON'T GIVE MEN A CHANCE BECAUSE I AM A MOMMY AND THAT IS MY TOP PRIORITY IN LIFE NOW. I HAVE BEEN IN 2 RELATIONSHIPS SINCE MY MARRIGE ENDED 2 YEARS AGO AND THE FIRST GUY I WAS FORCED TO CHOOSE BETWEEN MY KIDS AND HIM WHAT REAL WOMAN WOULDNT MAKE THE CHOICE I DID? MY BABIES ARE #1 IN MY LIFE!
ID LOVE TO THINK THAT IT DIDNT MATTER BUT WE ARE NOW A PACKAGE DEAL WHAT MAN IS CRAZY ENOUGH TO BRING ON A YOUNG WOMAN WITH 4 KIDS AGES 9 TO 2? LOL ID MUCH RATHER ENJOY MY INDEPENDANCE AND SINGLE LIFE KNOWING IM A GOOD MOTHER THAN TO DRAG THE KIDS THREW ANY ROMANTIC HASSLES AND A EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOSTER.
WHY ON EARTH DO YOU THINK THEY MAKE TOYS! AND BATTERIES CAN BE REPLACED YA KNOW!  | |
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| Do women mind single dads with kids
Posted: 7/10/2005 3:33:27 PM | You know, I'm a full time dad of a extremely active 8 year old, with a fulltime career, I juggle. I don't think the problem is finding a woman, who's willing to date a father, it's finding a woman, who understands that this takes a lot of time and energy and it's pretty difficult to have the time nessesary to build a relationship...... All the women, I've dated lately, expect me to be able to see them 4, 5 times a week but that's just not realistic. I'm not going to be bringing them into my son's life, until I'm comfortable with them and know they'll be a good role model for him. He's already had enough confusion in his life....... Someday, things might be able to progress to that point, where she'll become a major priority in my life, and she'll be able to share in it FULLY,
I don't think, most women have that kind of patience and are willing to take that kind of time...............
(Just my thoughts for today) | |
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gabbyT
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Joined: 5/18/2005
Msg: 280 | |
| Do women mind single dads with kids
Posted: 7/10/2005 4:10:47 PM | Good for you HunnyDip....
LOL at the comment with batteries can be replaced.
I like chatting to guys who have children.They know what is involved being a single parent. I personally dont want anymore children so dating guys younger that want children is not an option. | |
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gabbyT
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Joined: 5/18/2005
Msg: 281 | |
| Do women mind single dads with kids
Posted: 7/10/2005 4:14:52 PM | I do understand your thoughts Desertwasteland. I am a single mom and work fulltime as a nurse so I dont get a lot of free time off. I personally dont have the time to see someone like you said 4-5 a week. Not in the beginning anyway. I have a 5 1/2 year old son and I am not involving him in my personal life until I know that, that person is someone I want a long term relationship with. I dont want him being confused or growing up with "mommy's boyfriends". My son is stable and I dont need to change that.
Just thought I would put my opinion in | |
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| Do women mind single dads with kids
Posted: 7/10/2005 4:23:47 PM | | Im a single dad 25 and my son doesn't live with me but i still get that problem i have given up on trying to find someone in a bar or out in public in general and dont really take this internet dateing thing seriously but i do feel for all thoses guy out there that are in the same boat as me ..As soon as some women find out you have a kid there outa there fast than a fat kid eating a smarty haha ( the previous comment was a joke and not intened for some viewers and has no direct or indirect involment with the thoughts and wishes of the uesr of this site) In other words dont send me hate maile for the fat kid joke thanks people Cheers Anthony | |
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| Do women mind single dads with kids
Posted: 7/10/2005 4:25:00 PM | well, God knows "most women" don't fall into that category, thankfully, Desertwasteland!
or it'd be oh so much more difficult sifting through them all and harder to know whom to trust then, eh? what you described essentially kicks em right outta the que, doesn't it?!
the one(s) that stick around, i believe, will understand you and your son's needs and won't be so neurotic/self absorbed/selfish that she can't handle herself as a mature woman ought.
those possesing the patience, intelligence AND understanding; now those are the ones you get to pick from. and isn't THIS exactly the kind of woman you do trust around your child? the one that not only understands and appreciates that you are being the best dad for your child as possible will most likely also respect you for ensuring you have the best relationship always; with your son.
so i while i agree with your statement; i must also point out the value of the situation as it exists. be patient, your wait will yeild harvest beyond imagination. hold fast your hope. your words show the sincerity, depth and yes frustration even, which tells me your priorities are evident, intact and correct. Godspeed to you and the young man you are raising.
and kudos to all pof single parents! yes children and career juggling is tough as bricks, but tell, me; what on earth is more important OR rewarding?! (and yes, i DO understand, i was a single parent to my stepson for many years!) love n light to all! | |
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| Do women mind single dads with kids
Posted: 7/10/2005 4:49:36 PM | | hey ,Im a single parent with two sons,5 and 9 and most of the women Ive spoke to dont want to get involved,like there going to be forced to raise my kids.Im raiseing my boys alone and Im fine with that,ther mother gets to take them in the summers,but I take care of there needs the rest of the time,And If ladys on here cant see a good man standing right in front of them than thats there loss not mine.When the right one comes along I'll be waiting,and if my boys approve of her than she can stay,they come first in my life always. | |
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| Do women mind single dads with kids
Posted: 7/10/2005 4:59:56 PM | | i like single guys with kids i have kids of my own and i have a problem finding a guy who dont care that i have kids | |
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| Do women mind single dads with kids
Posted: 7/10/2005 5:23:22 PM | IMHO...I think single fathers are amazing, and just plain sexy...there should be more "real" men out there. I too am a single mom, but I just assumed it was harder for men being single fathers~sorry if that is wrong~but I admire men who take on that double role for thier chidren, You all have my respect and admiration...way to go guys! | |
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| Do women mind single dads with kids
Posted: 7/11/2005 1:50:36 AM | What's up Everyone? This topic is VERY much needed because the harsh reality is that alot of women do not want to date a single father. This doesn't make since because when a single mother speaks up and says that's she is looking for a honest and caring man who doen't mind kids, she receives many replies, but when a single father makes the same comments for a single woman the reply is limited or none at all. It's sad to know that in this day in age where the FATHER is stepping up to take care of his kids...the women are stepping down and condemning us. I am a single father that shares custody with the mother of my son. I have no problem dating a woman with a child or with children, just as long as she can accept my child as I accept hers. Women today need to reevaluate their priorities or there really won't be any good men left for them to have. | |
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| Do women mind single dads with kids
Posted: 7/11/2005 2:27:44 AM | | my thought would that if a person shy away from u cause of kinds u should not want to start relations with that person, cause if they really cared about u the kids would not matter, and if they dont want u, u should thank God, u found out earlier, and keep truckin,,, next... when u meet someone that dont mine your kids, they ask questions about your childrens, they are interest in both, otherwise, for.. get.. about ...it. but then single parent get a bad rap in dating, | |
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| Do women mind single dads with kids
Posted: 7/11/2005 1:04:32 PM | | I myself would not want to date a man who doesn't have kids, I myself wanted a huge family,so if he has kids all the better,big bonus for me.the only women out there that wouldn't accept a child into their lives strikes me as a shallow person. not wanting to take on any responiblity, but for themselves. thus shallow. | |
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| Do women mind single dads with kids
Posted: 7/11/2005 1:26:55 PM | Man I've had the same problem and I don't get it either. I'm not looking for a mom for my kids - I do that job quite well thank you - I'm just trying to meet a woman that whats to be with me. The problem that I've found is that if they're not a parent themselves then they don't seam to understand that I can't go out and party every weekend.  I have to, and want to spend time with my kids, it would just be nice to have someone there for me to enjoy things again. Best of luck to ya' man, I feel your pain! | |
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| Do women mind single dads with kids
Posted: 7/11/2005 1:30:30 PM | | I think that single dads are great. I spent 5 years being raised in a single father household and I tip my hat to all of the single dads here. As for dating, I actually prefer single dads. They already know what to expect from children and understand what goes along with being a single parent. | |
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| Do women mind single dads with kids
Posted: 7/12/2005 9:55:20 AM | if women cannot understand a single dad with kids,or either way,then best to move on.Its a shame that ppl do not understand family issues as well and only thinking of themselves. | |
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| Do women mind single dads with kids
Posted: 7/12/2005 8:33:40 PM | This is my first post on one of these forums. I'm new here. New at the whole internet dating thing, to be honest, and so far I suck at it. Ha ha.
But I wanted to put my two cents worth in on this subject. I've got shared custody of my kids, have them two nights each week and every second weekend. Get along great with my ex. Love my kids to the point of insanity and will do anything necessary to ensure their happiness.
I work. I take the time to work out. Well read. Well educated. Intelligent. Good looking (my mom says so). Good sense of humour.
Anyone I date has my full attention when we're together. I'm spontaneous. Adventurous. I hold doors and I'm a great listener. When we're not together I call or e-mail. When I'm with my kids my partner is welcome to join us. At a certain point I even expect it, because I want my kids to like my partner. And I think it's important to be as open with my life as possible with someone I care about.
My point being that I figure I'm a pretty good catch. I love women. I love the way they think and talk and move. I'm amazed and hypnotized by them as often as they make me want to fling myself from the nearest tall building.
My last relationship, the lady in question was peaches and cream at the start. Until it became clear that I wasn't ever going to blow my kids off for her. That joining us together meant we do something we all want to do, not drag the kids along on adult errands. That my ex is always going to be there because of the children we created together. That my kids would always be #1 in my life, but that they stand on a podium big enough for three.
The last straw was when she threw a screaming fit over the phone because I spent 3 hours with my kids on a Sunday. She wanted me to be with her to help her deal with some things she had on her plate. Which I'd already promised to do earlier that morning... just as soon as I got back my the pre-arranged date with my guys.
If you've read this far I'm sure you're wondering what my point is. I do have one, I swear to God. I just can't remember what it is...
Kidding.
My point is that kids, be it sole or shared custody, do sometimes bring out the worst in people. I think if you're lucky they run away as soon as they find out. It's much worse when they take on a "project" in the hope that they can get what they want no matter what it costs the people involved. Or if they try to force the kids off the podium.
Hmm... I sound bitter. Maybe just a bit. But this dating thing has me stymied for the first time in my life and I'm thinking now that I just needed to vent a bit.
Thanks to anyone who read this all the way through. And apologies to anyone who did likewise expecting words of wisdom. I'm a bit short on those lately. | |
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| Do women mind single dads with kids
Posted: 7/12/2005 9:40:19 PM | well after reading all of the posts on here, i will never complain again about guys running scared because i have two children. and for the most part it is true. i think if you have chilren then look for someone who has them as well. each will be more understanding if a date has to be broken at the last minute.
the last guy i dated had a couple of kids but they both lived in different provinces. he didn't bother much with them. one was here and the other away. and you definatley don't want a guy like that. if he can't take care of his own,how is he going to help with yours. mind you he was excellent with mine.
I say hats off to all the fathers that ARE stepping up. and even more to the ones who have thiers 24/7.
oh by the way, i am new to this site,joined about 10 minutes ago lol
thank for reading :) | |
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| Do women mind single dads with kids
Posted: 7/12/2005 9:46:28 PM | That was an awesome post readyagain!
However I have to dissagree with putting the kids #1 on a podium thing.
My kids are my life, and in most cases they do for the most part come first... but in teaching them reality in life, they aren't "always" first. Sometimes I get to stand on my pedistal, and sometimes they get to be in the winners circle, sometimes we compromise, and sometimes we let someone be king of the hill.
All depending on the situation, with respect towards one another (and yes you have to give children respect to get it back) we know we have our own space and times.
My children know I love them, they know I would do anything in the world for them. But I do know this... they know that I am an individual of myself, and that they are not attached to an umbilical cord no longer. I get my time with my friends as they get their time with theirs.
Sometimes they can come out with mom and her friend, and other times they can't. Sometimes is grown up times, and sometimes is all get together and have fun times. Depending on who needs mom the most at that time is who will get mom's attention "first". I am blessed with two great independant children who understand these things and know that I love them more than anything I can think of.
It is hard to find a man that agrees with all that. All the men I have dated with children tend to always let their children lead, and decide and never get a moment alone for adult time and fun. (not only on a sexual note mind you) I can only handle so many cinderella, batman movies. Ya know? There is nothing wrong with dragging kids around on adult errands (some kids find that fun, atleast they get to be going somewhere) LOL may not be where they want to go at that time, but that is when they have to take that back seat for a moment. Adults always get dragged around on kid errands (that would be kid taxi's)... lol why not drag them around on adult ones? Or better yet, leave them at home with a sitter once in a while.. it is a great way to teach them how to become independant and not so reliant on mom or dad.
Sooner or later they have to learn that, otherwise you will have a 30 yr old kid in your house never wanting to leave your side because he never learned to do his own thing and now he is screaming how he wants to be first. All because mom or dad always put him first and on that podium... he never learned to step down.
There is a priority and that should be respected. Balance is a wonderful thing, if you can find the right man with children that has the same set of priorities, then all works out just fine.
I do love men with children by the way.. I love children. | |
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| Do women mind single dads with kids
Posted: 7/12/2005 10:24:30 PM | I guess I wasn't clear in what I meant. When I say my kids come first, I mean my time with them won't centre around someone else's needs. We do the adult things that need to be done. Shopping (which they hate) and laundry (which they hate even more) and stuff like that. They are pretty independent and do okay when I've got things I need to get done. But I try not to have my time with them cluttered with outside influences if I can help it.
A better example to illustrate would be when I had plans with my kids, a trip to the beach, bon fire, all that stuff. My partner at the time was put out because she wanted to go shopping for clothes for herself and didn't want to go alone.
Now keep in mind, in any given 14 days period I have 7 days without my kids, and that includes a full weekend. If she wanted to go shopping, she could have called on her friends or waited. But I already had a plan made, and one that she had previously expressed an interest in being a part of. Last minute, out comes the shopping thing and I declined the gracious offer to trot my kids around the mall on a sunny Saturday.
So, by saying they always come first, I mean that my time with them is precious to me. It's important to me to be a fully engaged and attentive father. I consider it the most important thing I will ever do in this life. If I had my guys 24/7, by necessity I would have to lug them around places they don't want to be doing things they don't want to do, and they do get enough of that. I just try to minimize it. | |
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| Do women mind single dads with kids
Posted: 7/14/2005 10:46:15 AM |
I don't think, most women have that kind of patience and are willing to take that kind of time............... (Just my thoughts for today)
There are many women that have that kind of patience and are willing to take that kind of time, Desertwasteland. You must be meeting all the wrong women. Can't wait to hear your thoughts for tomorrow.
I am a single mom and would prefer a man who has kids, whether they live with him or not. My kids come first in my life and I need a man who understands and who better to understand than a single dad. I am also at a stage in my life where I may not want to have any more children of my own and if I met someone who hasn't had kids yet, that could be an issue (not saying I wouldn't have more).
I do not think the children should be involved in the relationship unless it is going to be long-term. I know it would be hard on my kids to have men coming in and out of their lives and I am sure it would be the same for single dads. But to answer the original question: as a single mom do I mind single dads with kids? No, I do not mind. | |
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| Do women mind single dads with kids
Posted: 7/14/2005 11:18:40 AM | ok.. I totally agree he's meeting the wrong women...women who want more than what's in your back pocket and in the front of your pants should be totally patient and caring and understanding. I'd love to meet a man dedicated to his kids...my husband totally was not and that is sad...I think men who are dedicated to and loving to their kids are damn sexy and totally worth the wait.
However, being a mom i'm going through this ....."I dont want the insta family thing" from the guys i'm meeting or they want me to have kids for them..which I can't do since I had that little surgery...which by the way I've heard can be undone...if I ever meet the right one I might consider undoing it if he really wants kids.
My point is this..if your looking for more than a one night stand or a good time..if your looking for someone to spend the rest of your life with then you'd be willing to meet the kids, love them, accept them and give patience and understanding to both them and their mom/dad. To all those single dads out there giving a crap about their kids...you just keep doing what your doing...your damn sexy in my book and your total winners! | |
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