| Do women mind single dads with kids
Posted: 7/15/2005 5:14:58 AM | I HAVE HAD THE SAME PROBLEM I HAVE A THREE AND A HALF YEAR OLD LITTLE GIRL AND EVRYTHINGS FINE TILL THEY FIND OUT THAT I'M A DAD AND THATS WHAT COMES FIRST NO MATTER WHAT THEY TAKE OFF. . .I'M NOT LOOKING FOR A MOTHER FOR HER SHE ALREADY HAS ONE ,A GOOD ONE BUT MOST GIRLS MY AGE ARN'T READY TO JUMP IN TO SOMETHING LIKE THAT WITCH IT ISN'T THERE FAULT BUT WHATS A GUY SUPPOSED TO DO. . . . .
-BLUE EYED DEVIL- | |
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| Do women mind single dads with kids
Posted: 7/16/2005 1:34:16 AM | | well i think your very handsome and admire you for what you are doing...give that baby all te love she deserves and those women can go find someone who can keep up with their high maintenance butts. | |
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| Do women mind single dads with kids
Posted: 7/16/2005 8:44:33 AM | Ok,here is my take on the question;after reading several pages of this thread it is very easy to see that their are women that admire men raising their children on their own or even shared. They,for the most part all have children of their own. They seem to say they are having the same problem as us men are! There is a big difference here. I'm not here to say anything sexist,but in most of these cases the man was the main breadwinner an they are now getting child-support or gov't help. We,as the main breadwinner are not afforded the same help! It takes a lot to raise any child on your own.It is even harder for us in that we must be able to provide for our children and when going out on a date provide for the entertainment of the woman in company!If she has children of her own,she may accept this with great understanding!If the relationship grows then a new dilema may present itself,the possibility of a new marriage!In most states her alimony will cease if she remarrys,a reduction in child-support can be pressed by the exhusband or gov't agencies.Any of this can cause financial difficulties for both parties involved.This leads to further stress of all concerned!!! Now if we move on to the single women without children our chances are even further depleted.Reguardless of their age,mostly they do not want to be second seat to anyone that may interfere with where they are in their life;childless,partial custody,grown children,no children,etc. We all want an need attention in our lives;but due to the society norms,the woman is still given the advantage in the dating/(looking) arena.AKA-(A good man is hard to come by,A hard man is good to come by) All this,an we still haven't got to the SEX part of a new relationship yet! Yes,Sex,whats sex got to do with it? EVERYTHING  That is why we are here. If the woman desires to have sex,it is easily done upon her willingness;whereas the man must prove his ability to provide for all her pleasures at the possible expense of his childrens attention an financial well-being. My personal experiences with women that have had children is that they put sex on the low end of their scale of most desirable things to do in their free time.As a man over 40,my desires for sex have not at all decreased! Still searching for a great woman!!!!!   | |
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| Do women mind single dads with kids
Posted: 7/16/2005 12:43:19 PM | fishateme.....
I have two children that live with me 50% of the time. I am not currently working full-time. They live with their father 50% of the time and he works full-time. I do not get spousal support, child support or government support. He is even taking half the year's worth of the child tax credit. I had to fight to keep 1/2 of my rrsp's, my pension and my car. During the marriage, we were equal breadwinners.
I have gone on dates and paid my share or for the whole date. I fail to see how I have the advantage here.
Unless the details are provided, I would not assume anyone's situation. I did not think this thread was asking about the financial end of things but I guess that does come into play. For me, money is not what's important in a relationship. | |
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| Do women mind single dads with kids
Posted: 7/16/2005 1:59:22 PM | Wisteria,Did you see the part that said (most).Your situation is somewhat unique in that you were equal breadwinners and now have equal custody.Sounds like a fair deal for both. Going dutch(50/50) is definately not the norm and will seldom get a man a second date with her! Even more rare is the woman that insists on paying for dinner!In all my years that has happened only once.I was 18,she was 32 and we were just friends.I agree that money is not what makes a relationship but dating is a process that requires money.I'm not here to argue any point of view,merely stating what appears obvious to me. By the way,I'm free next week if you'd like to fly down to Fl. and take me out to dinner!!!    | |
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Murrrr
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Joined: 7/5/2005
Msg: 306 | |
| Do women mind single dads with kids
Posted: 7/26/2005 6:45:11 AM | | I'm glad to hear that many women here enjoy men with kids. I was worried, but figured this to be true. I have mine half the time. The more men and women can agree that kids need both parents, the more dads with kids there will be and the more time for mom to be available. Less pressure for the new person as well. As always, kids are awesome! | |
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| Do women mind single dads with kids
Posted: 7/26/2005 7:54:00 AM | | I married a bloke with two children and they now live with us - didn't bother me. Now we have three as we have just had a baby of our own. | |
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| Do women mind single dads with kids
Posted: 7/26/2005 9:36:00 AM | Fishateme:
In my case nether of my children's fathers have much to do with them, and I earn most of the $ in my house. I do get child suport from time to time but it in no way coveres even half of the expence of raising my children, as for either child suport or state assistance, men can get help in those areas to; but most of the time (like you I wrote most of the time) the mother puts in most of the work in raising the children, in my case almost half of my income goes to child cair alone that is a steep bill to pay that wouldn't have to be as high if there fathers would hold up to there responsibility like the men in this room. I don't see any thing agenst them having to be responsible to. If they wouldn't of desided that there children were just something in there past I wouldn't of ever made them pay child suport. Besids a lought of woman have to fase getting in to the work force on the bottom of the totem pole, like me there husbends kept them from working for some reason or another and these woman have no or little job history, or experance to fall back on. Us woman that comited our lives to making our man happy e.g. baking home made bread and keeping every spot of the house to our mans liking have worked for years with no recagnition and no respect. I do think that in some cases you are right but in a lot of instances you are wrong! I hope that some day I can find a man that dosn't stearieo type me as just trying to find a dad for my kids and a bread winner because that is wrong! Can't a person, m or f just be trying to find some one to shair life with? wich includes kids, finances, love, good, and bad; isn't that what it is all about? | |
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| Do women mind single dads with kids
Posted: 7/26/2005 11:37:22 AM | Know where you're coming from, dude. Faced (and still facing) that during seperation and divorce, over period of several years. I think it goes beyond whether or not a woman likes children. It's when some realize that you'll always put your kids first, and they simply can't handle that kind of "competition". Acceptance of your kids may come more naturally to a woman who has kids of her own, especially if those kids are now grown, and don't require so much of her attention. That's not to say that women who have never had children are taboo. To the contrary, I'd rather like to believe that a woman who's never been a parent, and is accepting of your children in a genuine way, must posses self confidence, and an unselfish approach to the relationship.At least, that 's what I hope to find in a woman. Haven't found her yet, but I' m forever the optimist.
Gordo | |
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| Do women mind single dads with kids
Posted: 7/26/2005 4:29:28 PM | | Ive met only one man in 7 yrs who is accepting of the fact I have a child. Ive been single over 4 yrs now and the majority reason is that they dont want to be a daddy. | |
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Lyndee
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Joined: 7/26/2005
Msg: 311 | |
| Do women mind single dads with kids
Posted: 7/26/2005 4:54:53 PM | First off - hello all! I'm brand new here, and am a single mom of 3 lil girls :D
As for dating a man with kids - heck yeah I would! Having children is certainly not something I would judge a man for - I'll stick with prison record and drug use as my veto's. :P In all honesty though, I've met some amazing single dads who focus on their children first and foremost in a way that a lot of married fathers don't. I would respect and applaud a single dad, not shun him. | |
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| Do women mind single dads with kids
Posted: 7/26/2005 5:34:00 PM | Single men with kids....no problem.
I can also say that the beginning of the end of my marriage was that my career took off and I ended up making more money (apparently it took a toll on his ego).
I eventually ended up quitting my job and tried to reinvent myself to save grace at home.
This lasted for several months and I decided that I shouldn't have to sell my soul in order to please someone else.
Not all cases of single men have risen from needy, desperate woman whom can not manage themselves, their families or finances.
Men and Women equally deserve the respect payable to them for their challenges in raising children alone.
I would prefer to meet a man with children as opposed to one without! | |
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| Do women mind single dads with kids
Posted: 7/26/2005 8:03:37 PM | Do women mind single dads with kids? No, not at all. Just as long as the relationship between him and his child's mom is at least cordial. I've hated getting drawn into the middle of a big hot mess of a situation. 
But other than that, its never an issue for me. I love kids! | |
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| Do women mind single dads with kids
Posted: 7/26/2005 8:34:49 PM | | Good luck to you-i also have a boy with autism and a girl with ADHD-men run a mile when we get down to all the details. | |
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| Do women mind single dads with kids
Posted: 7/26/2005 8:39:24 PM | | i dont mind a single dad with a kid. i think that its awesome that a dad is willing to take care of their kid. alot of dads arent. i would hope that a single dad would be as open to me because i am a single mother and i do it by myself too. | |
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| Do women mind single dads with kids
Posted: 7/26/2005 8:49:08 PM | I think the best way to find out is go to the park with your kid. The single moms will be there too. My son was a chick magnet. Go to soccer games. Moms agree?  | |
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| Do women mind single dads with kids
Posted: 7/26/2005 8:55:10 PM | | Id love to date a single dad. I personally do not want anymore biological children. If I could meet someone who understood what it was like to be a parent through children of their own, I would be happy to accept their children and treat them the same as I treat my son. | |
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| Do women mind single dads with kids
Posted: 7/27/2005 8:35:19 AM | | i know i dont mind single fathers with kids... i personally prefer it ... i also have kids so i know he will know how it feels and wat im going through and we would have soooo much more in common | |
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| Do women mind single dads with kids
Posted: 7/27/2005 11:32:26 AM | I find that so strange..but I completly understand......I have no problem at all going out with a guy who has kids. I LOVE KIDS..I have 2 boys of my own. I don't even have a problem with someone who has kids who are disabled. I did a lot work with young adults with disabilities.
I find it really nice talking to a guy who has kids...there is so much in common to talk and laugh about. I have SO much respect for guys who have custody and raising their kids themselves to.
I must have had my kids to late in life....if they accept the fact that I have kids they think hey are to young. Mine are 2 and 6.
I am not looking for a Dad for them they have one of those.
GOOD LUCK AND CHIN UP | |
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| Do women mind single dads with kids
Posted: 7/27/2005 12:32:21 PM | | hey i know how u feel i have 2 kids of my own and as soon the guys know that i have kids their gone i don't see them or here from them i wish there were guys here who don't judge a a women because she has kids | |
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| Do women mind single dads with kids
Posted: 7/27/2005 2:32:01 PM | | I prefer single dads w/ kids. To me it means that they understand where I am coming from, they like kids and hopefully they won't want more. My problem is that I usually meet men that are 35 to 45 and have never been married and have no children and they want some of their own. I love kids...but I am not birthing anymore. | |
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| Do women mind single dads with kids
Posted: 7/27/2005 8:03:52 PM | OK guy's heres the dilema we're in.Women want the guy to bring home the bread, be spontanious and all the while prove our fatherly instincs, so that they'll believe we'd be good for their kids. Well when we do this and then the first wife leaves, due to death, bordom, or just for the fact (like my Ex) just wanted to not be a mom, and we're the ones raising the child. well we're just used garbage. most woman see the kid as an annoyance or some one elses problem. they don't see the fact that we raise them, they don't see that even though their isn't a mom in the picture it's still a family. So instead of the money that we might make going towards all the goodies in life, it's going towards buying shoes or clothes or even more food.
Most of my friends are single college kids, with dreams of grand dilutions they see the world through beer goggles and pot pipes. they see my son as a drag because I can't go where they go, well to me I don't want to go anywhere I can't bring my son. Don't get me wrong they like my son, but they're not responsible enough to be left alone with him. I'm proud to be a Single dad. I love my child and I want the best for him, And yes while I'd like to meet a woman to fall in love with, I can wait.
your brother in arms
Francisco Luna | |
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