| Do women mind single dads with kids
Posted: 5/17/2009 4:16:50 AM | I don't have kids of my own and as long as you OK with me not having that expirience and you not telling me "kids your first priority" I guess it's OK.
Who would want to come 2nd in relationship? I wouldn't. Either you can balance that we will be even when in relationship or keep your priorities for someone who has kids too with them being 1st priority for them than you will come 2nd or 3rd too. It's only fair | |
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| Do women mind single dads with kids
Posted: 5/20/2009 7:54:51 PM | WOW did you really just post this lady. How in the world do you expect a man to put you 1st instead of his child or children. That my dear lady is selfish. Would you have been the person you are today if your parent made you their last priority. See its woman like this that have no idea what it takes to raise a kid on their own. That make it so hard on men to have a relationship. They are CHILDREN they Have to come first. YOU are GROWN you should UNDERSTAND. I dont expect everyone to understand but for the love of everything Holy at least try.
To all the single parents out there May God Bless you abundantly | |
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| Do women mind single dads with kids
Posted: 5/20/2009 9:01:02 PM | I have to fully agree with this gemtleman. I am a single dad raising one on my own and the other jointly. Most women wnat u to either pout them first or try to be the kids mother. Not the point in us dating. then you got the woemn that are just drop them off at a baby siter 24/7 nad lets psrty again they miss the point. I got kids i need the solemate not my children. But to truely except me u got to except them so i stopped hidintg the fact and post it as the number one thing on my profile. For the shallow women out there that cant deal with it fine be gone dont need to waste time on them anytways. I personal am tired on single dads gettting the bad rap when single moms get no where near the smae greif from what i ahve noticed. All i can say for those single dads out there GREAT JOB. Considering it is hardest for the dad to get the child and yall took the time to do it keep it up. Single moms you dont have it easy either and i respect yall to for what you do. Just tired of being bured for being a single dad think people should understand it aint easy. As far as for another post to wait till the kids move out lol good look dont plai on putting my life on hold till i am fifty just because i have kids. Sorry bad subject for me. BUt to all the single parrents out there great job keep it up. | |
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| Do women mind single dads with kids
Posted: 5/21/2009 3:29:31 AM | | Id rather date a guy who had kids that way we both have one more thing in common, im actually put off dating a guy of my age who hsnt got kids!!! | |
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| Do women mind single dads with kids
Posted: 5/21/2009 3:54:00 AM | If a woman minds weather i have a kid or not doesnt really phase me. its neither here nor there in my eyes.
My baby comes first although i may never say it unless it needs to be said. the woman above that said shed want to come first or what ever is wrong and very selfish. if i went out with a woman who had kids, (which seems to be what im looking for if im honest) i wouldnt expect her to put me first. not at all.
there shouldnt be any jealousy when it concerns parents and how they are with there children.
The mum of my baby put her self before her own daughter (used to anyway shes gotten better i think...i hope so anyway) ill not eat the whole day if my baby needs me there.
all id have to say to a woman who wanted to be put first over my kid is "binned"
Most fathers out there (not all) only see there kids at weekends anyway (if that) to expect to be placed first is so stupid lol. | |
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| Do women mind single dads with kids
Posted: 5/21/2009 9:20:32 AM | | I think that the deeper issue for some is not the single parent (man or woman) and their putting their child first, if that isn't happening then they aren't much of a parent and it tells me that they are too selfish anyway. What I have found as a problem is how much is the ex allowed to control the relationship through the children. If you are seeing someone with children and the ex isn't too happy then you'll come across all sorts of issues and the children are often used as tools between the two. Sadly it's the kids who get hurt the most. I won't date a single father who can't get along with his ex for the sake of their children, I also won't date a single father who lets the ex make all the rules because he doesn't want to deal with anything. It's a hard situation and people often don't realize it till their in it. My ex and I are good friends. Our sons are in college but we still talk and he and his fiance often have my daughter (not his child) over to spend the night with her daughter. He has asked me advice on his stepkids and visa versa and the great thing is I like his fiance, I trust her with my daughter. All our kids feel secure because they aren't being torn like wish bones between the adults. | |
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| Do women mind single dads with kids
Posted: 5/21/2009 1:31:15 PM | I don't think it's an issue of not understanding that the kids come first. I think it's more along the lines of someone not being able to share their time effectively between the two. I am a mom who is dating. My son of course is my first priority. That doesn't mean I treat my man like he is second. When you respect each other and teach the kids to respect others, it is much easier. So many parent let the children get in the way of a good relationship.
There are four relationships in play when you date someone. Those are: You and your child(ren), You and your date, your date and your child(ren), and all of you together. ( Of course, the last 2 I mentioned shouldn't be an issue from the start.) You have to respect and pay attention to each of those relationships. If you ignore any one of them, the whole thing could fall down. Every adult involved has to come to an agreement on how to split the time between those 4 relationships. If my man feels I am picking my son over him too often or vica versa then that is an issue to work on or if I don't want to bend, then it ends the relationship. (or vica versa)
For example, I have a very hard time involving any man I am dating with my son, in some cases the man has been very understanding, in others he took it as a red flag and bolted. Oh well, it obviously wasn't meant to be.
Everything varies depending on the individuals involved. Some people won't mind spending more time as a "family" others will want more one on one time. It's all about finding a balance that works for all parties involved. What the children want when it comes to their parents dating is secondary to what the parents want. They don't get to dictate that part of life, save some horrendous action by the new person, and they shouldn't be part of that decision. However each person must respect all the others, if that is not present then nothing can work. It must be insisted upon by all. | |
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| Do women mind single dads with kids
Posted: 5/22/2009 6:57:50 PM | I have no children and am currently dating a single dad who has two. They come first, as they should; I'd have it no other way, as I was raised in an environment where family always came first and can naturally relate to this state of being; anything different would not feel right.
The important thing is that we understand, respect, and like each other a lot... I admire him for who he is (and his children are a big part of that) and it's been working well so far. I want to also point out, that he has always made me feel first, as the woman in his life, which is who I want to be.. Children and women can co-exist beautifully; it's not a competition.
Having said that, I do remember that when I was in my twenties/early thirties, there were enough single men without kids at the same stage in life as myself, that I had never considered dating someone with children... maybe because I actually never met anyone then, who was a single parent ~ this is odd, I know ... but I can understand how some people depending on their age, would be more averse to it. | |
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| Do women mind single dads with kids
Posted: 5/23/2009 12:02:43 AM | Single dads are hot don't let anyone tell you different a man that can take on the job of being a single parent is wonderful. Plus they usually don't want anymore , bonus number 2 | |
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| Do women mind single dads with kids
Posted: 5/23/2009 1:39:15 AM | | My experiences are that women wants the man to accept them and their kids but as soon as their kids are gone, they do not want a man who has kids. What a dating world we single guys live in. | |
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| Do women mind single dads with kids
Posted: 5/23/2009 4:27:25 AM |
My experiences are that women wants the man to accept them and their kids but as soon as their kids are gone, they do not want a man who has kids.
Yep... you can read all the "single dads are hot" crap you want. As soon as a woman realizes a man's focus is on raising his kid she understands that your primary effort in time and money will go toward the child.
Zip! She's outta here. Momma wants to get paid! Goodbye!
Don't believe me? Go to any dating site that lists qualifications of potential dates and search women from 30-45. You'll find over 90% do not list anything as to the status of the potential date having children. A very large percent have kids of their own and do not want to deal with another man's kids. They all your money, time, and attention.
"And the Lord said, your wife is but a child."
Wonder why the divorce rate is so high? | |
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Paqman
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Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 712 | |
| Do women mind single dads with kids
Posted: 6/24/2009 12:41:13 PM | Well guys & girls my experience hasn't been good. My two boys live with me full time. It was never a choice. They wanted to be with me & I'm their dad - simple as that. However after reading some of the post's on here I have to agree with most of the men. As soon as most women find out I not only have kids but that they live with me the best I can hope for is a nice comment or two. Generally it means the premature end of any possible relationship.
Sad! but true! I have resigned myself to the fact that I will have to put any chance of a relationship until the youngest has flown the nest. This means I have up to a decade to wait and will be in my 50's before I can think about it. Not an attractive prospect but there is no alternative. I'm not entirely sure why so many women think that my kids will always come before them. Ladies!!! Its not about putting them first. They are dependent on me you aren't!!! If that elusive woman comes along that makes the good times fantastic & the sad times bearable then they become an equally important part of your life. | |
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| Do women mind single dads with kids
Posted: 6/24/2009 2:02:53 PM | Lovesent wrote:
"I don't have kids of my own and as long as you OK with me not having that expirience and you not telling me "kids your first priority" I guess it's OK.
Who would want to come 2nd in relationship? I wouldn't. Either you can balance that we will be even when in relationship or keep your priorities for someone who has kids too with them being 1st priority for them than you will come 2nd or 3rd too. It's only fair"
Response:
And why would you want to date any man who would put something ahead of his children? They are his family now, you aren't. Hasn't it occurred to you that the man you're looking for, one who will put someone "not family" ahead of "family" is going to be really bad news for you later on down the road when you are "family" and he's putting a woman who is "not family" ahead of you? | |
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| Do women mind single dads with kids
Posted: 6/24/2009 6:49:56 PM | | ive had the same experiance with women and freind of the court and girlscouts and.... you get my drift. Single dads are the most discriminated people there are | |
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| Do women mind single dads with kids
Posted: 6/25/2009 12:39:10 AM | | I am a single father (widowed) but they have flew the nest recently, I do think potential partners may not want `to adopt` anothers children which is understandable and that goes for either sex, its not prejudicial. | |
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| Do women mind single dads with kids
Posted: 6/26/2009 12:50:20 AM | | I prefer men with kids. I have my own and really don't want to have more. I tend to cringe when I meet a guy that doesn't have kids. I'm content with my 3 and I really can't see myself wanting more. If a man I am dating wants his own in the future its not really fair to either of us so i tend to avoid that. I say bring on the men with kids. | |
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| Do women mind single dads with kids
Posted: 6/26/2009 9:58:42 AM |
Well guys & girls my experience hasn't been good. My two boys live with me full time. It was never a choice. They wanted to be with me & I'm their dad - simple as that. However after reading some of the post's on here I have to agree with most of the men. As soon as most women find out I not only have kids but that they live with me the best I can hope for is a nice comment or two. Generally it means the premature end of any possible relationship.
Sad! but true! I have resigned myself to the fact that I will have to put any chance of a relationship until the youngest has flown the nest. This means I have up to a decade to wait and will be in my 50's before I can think about it. Not an attractive prospect but there is no alternative. I'm not entirely sure why so many women think that my kids will always come before them. Ladies!!! Its not about putting them first. They are dependent on me you aren't!!! If that elusive woman comes along that makes the good times fantastic & the sad times bearable then they become an equally important part of your life.
WOW! Does this really happen?! | |
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| Do women mind single dads with kids
Posted: 6/26/2009 10:45:25 AM | I don't have kids of my own and as long as you OK with me not having that expirience and you not telling me "kids your first priority" I guess it's OK.
Who would want to come 2nd in relationship? I wouldn't. Either you can balance that we will be even when in relationship or keep your priorities for someone who has kids too with them being 1st priority for them than you will come 2nd or 3rd too. It's only fair Well quite frankly I'm glad you don't have kinds then. If you had and did not have custody I wonder if you would want your children's father to have a priority for his new girlfriend then for your children? Oh wait a moment I think I've seen that thread before...that's right it's the one where mom is complaining because dad is running around with his latest fling again.
My children are my highest priority, period. With all due respects any woman who thinks that kids shouldn't be isn't the type of person I want to develop a relationship with. Even married couples put the needs of their children before their own. Why would I be expected to change this because I'm dating? | |
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| Do women mind single dads with kids
Posted: 6/26/2009 11:58:37 AM |
My children are my highest priority, period. With all due respects any woman who thinks that kids shouldn't be isn't the type of person I want to develop a relationship with. Even married couples put the needs of their children before their own. Why would I be expected to change this because I'm dating?
With married people and their bio kids, both parents are putting their own bio kids first. In a relationship where only one person is the bio parent, the other person wouldn't have the natural inclination in most cases to put those children first, they aren't their children.
Also, depending upon the age and experience of the non bio parent, if they've never had children many of them do not understand that parent-child bond, and the need to put them first. | |
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| Do women mind single dads with kids
Posted: 6/26/2009 12:30:10 PM | I am also a single mom and I would rather date a man that has kids because just like me they have been there done that hahaha. Men that don't have kids try and give you advice like it's a bowl of cherries and it can be fixed with the swing of a wand but men with kids understand that it is not all that easy at times!! SINGLE DAD'S ARE HOT!! All of us single parent's keep up the good work!!! | |
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| Do women mind single dads with kids
Posted: 6/26/2009 12:50:49 PM | | Yup gimme a single dad anyday. I also work full time and am a single parent and yes it is hard physically and emotionally, but one of these days someone will come along and sweep me off my feet. Same goes for the single dads...it might not be today or tomorrow but there is someone out there for all of us, but its a fact that the kids have to come first. Whoevers they are. | |
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| Do women mind single dads with kids
Posted: 6/26/2009 7:59:45 PM | I have made so many guys run in the opposite direction when they find out i got kids that i feel like being a single parent is the plague that got left out of the bible or something LOL anyway dont get discouraged bc two big things are ONE your a guy who got the kids that means you have to be an awesome parent at least where i come from its really rare for the dad to get custody ...TWO there is nothing more attractive than a man who is a father and dad bc it is so rare...remember that and hope it helps some!! | |
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| Do women mind single dads with kids
Posted: 6/26/2009 11:22:01 PM | Thank you for your blessings on raising kids alone. I do it very well on my own, my children have a father, he wasnt a great husband but he is a good father.
That lady posted it and had every right too, I have encountered men whom want children..."their own" and do not wish to 'raise' another mans child/children.
Why should it be different for women to think the same way?
I would embrace anothers Man's children as my own as that is my makeup of being who I am. She doesn't chose to raise another man's offspring as her own and why would you wish to pass judgement on her for it when so many men do the exact same thing? Tsk tsk tsk... | |
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| Do women mind single dads with kids
Posted: 6/27/2009 7:23:11 AM | taboo man might fare better than "domesticated."
Mine's not a standout, either, but at least we're both trying to accurately portray ourselves. | |
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