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| Does the size of the ring matter ?
Posted: 12/15/2008 5:22:23 AM | Tag, thank GAWD it was tongue in cheek sarcasm. I could not take two stories like that in one day.
HRMunroe wrote being judged "by the SIZE OF MY ROCKS and my wallet" not being someone he wants in his life/
I THINK the wording was intentional. either way 
Imagine the shock of the boyfriend. You know how later on, you realize you could not feel your arms or legs, how you were breathing erractically as you listened to her childishness and pettiness seeing for the first time how badly you had assessed her character. How a couple of tears of frustration and humiliation appear in your eyes before you realize it, before you can shut them off.
 I want a good money ring.
I guess that is about it for this woman...... | |
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| Does the size of the ring matter ?
Posted: 12/15/2008 7:00:24 AM | I do believe I was lumped into a category called "money grubbing hos" by bigdaddyjinx and that is so far from the truth. My SO makes almost half of what I do and has a normal blue collar type of job. I could care less how much money he makes or what type of job he has. What I do care about is his loyalty, his core values and just overall things that make him what he is. I love him dearly and have the utmost respect for him as a person. He's a fantastic man and if we get to the point that we decide to marry, he doesn't have to buy me a ring because I know he would be putting himself in debt to do it. A nice, simple band would be in line with what he could afford and I'd be proud to wear it.
I had the whomper stomper ring the first go round and the only reason I had that size was so my ex could show off to his friends what a big rock he bought me. About a year into the marriage I stopped wearing it and I have it with me right now because I'm selling it to buy Christmas this year.
As for the female that this forum is centered on, thank god that poor guy got away from that. I'd never, ever, EVER embarrass myself or my man that way. If she felt that strongly about it, she should have given it back to him in the beginning and just told him no. | |
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| Does the size of the ring matter ?
Posted: 12/15/2008 7:53:45 AM | | you should be glad your getting married not worrying about a size of the ring.were is your heart hun worrying about something that goes on easy and comes off easy. | |
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| Does the size of the ring matter ?
Posted: 12/15/2008 9:35:00 AM | Sparkling, BigDaddyJinx, and Others...
Here it is a two days later, and I still can her the parents take a huge sigh. I feel for them more than I do my girlfriend... who by the way has left me wondering if I should be her friend anymore as I had no idea that money was soooo important to her.
I spoke to her parents this morning. They have basically disowned her in some respects. They are embarassed beyond belief and have no idea what to say to anyone.
My friend said she didn't mean to share her anguish, but she was so upset that he was not listening to her "feelings" on the subject. I asked her if she realized that he is GONE? She said no, but $$$$$$$$$$$ and some things I can't post here. It struck me odd how she is still focusing on his lack of attention to her feelings, that she can't see how she hurt one of the area's most attractive, kind hearted, soft spoken, loving men. I'm sure there will be several other gold diggers lining up now for his affections.
I am amazed at how well her family apologized for their daughter's behavior. The would be inlaws said that they understood it was her feelings and not the parent's fault for their daughter's outburst. Which, I think was pretty much figured out by all there.
Thank goodness it was family only and close friends, otherwise, it would have been the social yucky of all time.
Sparkling... I am having surgery Wednesday for follow up to a prior cancer surgery. Thank you for your hugs, your concern and well wishes, they are most appreciated. Funny thing about that surgery... I'm not scared as I've already faced those demons before, and my support group is fantastic. I have a great friend who is going to be with me. Plus, my faith will get me through!
For those wondering, I still want the freaking man not the rock. For those that have posted on having the rock... you will wake up one day and realize that rock really can't hug you, love you, touch you, make you laugh, make you smile, share your heartaches, or keep you warm at night! There is more to life than a 1.5 karat diamond ring on your finger. And me personally, I would rather have the man to share those times with than a flashy rock on my hand. I want those hot kisses, those nights of hot passion and no debt, no material possessions standing in the way of it. | |
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| Does the size of the ring matter ?
Posted: 12/15/2008 10:11:39 AM | If...and that's a big IF...I ever tie the knot again, I want a tattoo on that finger, not jewellry. If my mate is against tattoos, well maybe a plain band of gold. No engagement ring.
My first marriage, the engagment part...well, a bunch of bitter old crones took the buzz off that. I came into work the next day, happy as a clam that I had been proposed to the night before, and all I heard ALL DAY was 'I thought 'bob' made more than that'...or 'give me a microscope so I can see that diamond'..I was lectured on the man should pay 3-6 montha salary blah, blah, blah...and basically went home feeling pretty worthless! What was the point in all of this, did they really expect me to go home and make him feel bad, and ask for a bigger, better ring?
I am not a petty woman, and I would have said Yes even if he handed me a friggen lifesaver...but my engagement opened my eyes big time on how selfish and money hungry most people are. I did not only recieve this attitude from women either I may add....quite a few of the men in the office seemed to feel I got ripped off too....WTF???
If the man proposing has tons of cash, and a big rock wont put him into debt, and he will feel good about giving a huge ring, then fine, go ahead. I will never condone people going into thousands of dollars of debt for a ring.
So, to me, the size of a ring does not matter. But dont kid yourself, it is still a 'tardition' that many, many people adhere to...and the cause of many a fight between couples. | |
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| Does the size of the ring matter ?
Posted: 12/15/2008 10:27:51 AM | | Brown eyed woman, that was the sentiment I was trying to get across; that if the man has the funds and it is what he wants then by all means, do whatever. I guess we let what others thing get to us far more than we should. This post have given me quite a cause to think and I certainly realize that what matters is the relationship with my SO. There is no ring on this planet that I would trade for him and who says you have to have a ring at all. You're married whether or not there is a piece of metal on your finger. If I'm seeing this right, this whole ring thing is a symbol to others to show that you are married. Since I don't really care what others think, then a ring just simply doesn't matter. | |
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| Does the size of the ring matter ?
Posted: 12/15/2008 11:20:14 AM |
even hint that the ring was not "sufficient" in any way: too small, too gaudy, too/not enough whatever, then I'd feel strongly that I'd have to immediately take back the proposal, ring and all, and start looking all over again. That's because I'd have so misjudged the person and been blinded by love and/or lust that I must have made a serious mistake about them and that we weren't compatible at all.
My goodness! The sensitivity about this subject!
I mean, for you to give up a relationship because she didn't like the ring! Wow!
For all of you "equality" hounds.....let's say hypothetically I bought my man a ring.
It was a thoughtful symbol of my love and devotion for him and when I gave it to him, he wasn't all that enthused about it.
In consideration of his feelings, I would ask him if he liked it. If he said that he didn't like it, then I would take it back. After all, he's the one wearing it and he should like wearing it. I WOULD NOT DEEP SIX THE RELATIONSHIP. If you are the type of guy to do that, then I pity the woman you finally do likebecause you are shallow, too.
NOTE***
I wouldn't buy my man a ring without divining:
1. Whether he wants a ring in the first place. Some do. Some don't. Just like some women. It doesn't make them bad or good if they want one or not.
2. What style, colour of metal, stone that he would like. It's just being considerate of his taste. You know? What people who love each other do?
There is some really bad taste going on here and it has nothing to do with love. | |
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| Does the size of the ring matter ?
Posted: 12/15/2008 1:06:57 PM | Sparkly, another crow?
Pray Tell?
It's okay for a MAN like BDJ to say something like this...and you...giggle...flirt...with him and think that what he says is titillating?
Here is his quote.
Women should be flattered that a man wants to devote the rest of his life to them. Women should be overwhelmed that he took the time to even contemplate ONE WOMAN out of a cast of billions (yes, billions).
I just decided to turn it around and mirror that sentiment back to him. It was not a nice thing for him to say...degrading, in fact.
For me, I added that I would like a man to treasure me. You find something wrong with that? If you do, then I would go and get some help if I were you.
You, like some women on here, just like to be catty..and scratch and hiss .....
at another of your gender. Were you trying to impress to men that you are accomodating and forgiving of his behaviour? A GOOD woman?
Do you think you are being subtle and smart? No..all I have to do is read your posts.
Silly woman...so transparent...and so manipulative. | |
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| Does the size of the ring matter ?
Posted: 12/15/2008 1:11:20 PM | Dang... could have made money on BDJ's response to this of: "EPIC F*CKING FAIL" worded exactly that way too, for that matter.... Perfect! LOL
My friend said she didn't mean to share her anguish, but she was so upset that he was not listening to her "feelings" on the subject. I asked her if she realized that he is GONE? She said no, but $$$$$$$$$$$ and some things I can't post here.
*** takes a whiff of, then shares the smelling salts with readyornot57 ***
WOW...!! ... God almighty... the bytch needs to be caged.
Yeah, at this point Cat, you're a bigger woman then I am in considering keeping her as a friend. Personally, I'd have to cut her loose. After my last post I had wondered if maybe I hadn't offended you with my opinion of her persona because you are her friend, even though I'd be seriously challenged to believe that she is yours. If I have, I apologize.
Thank goodness it was family only and close friends, otherwise, it would have been the social yucky of all time. Agree with you there. Guess it was too much to expect that she could have spared him the humiliation of doing this in front of family, and close friends. His poor soul just reeling. It's going to be one mighty damn hard roe to hoe to not hate all women after this. Damn. Let's just hope, and pray, that this guy can eventually see his way to holding onto the Good that is in, and about him, to see his way through finding the one that he deserves in the end.
And, Cat? I have all the faith that you'll make this surgery, too... with flying colors! ...   | |
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| Does the size of the ring matter ?
Posted: 12/15/2008 2:40:55 PM | Hey Sparkling...
Not sure bigger woman comes close to it. I have to admit that I've thought about the whole thing all weekend. I think I will probably have to let some of the things between us go as I can't spend time with someone who equates happiness with money. I've been wondering if she sees the boyfriend's worth in terms of karats, what is my worth to her? I mean, I'm not rich by any means, but I'm not poor either. I like my life and I just wonder now what she really thinks of me...
Surgery will be fine. I'm no longer scared and I know the worst outcome already, so I am prepared for anything. Thank you for your concern though. I'm sure my co-workers will be thrilled since after surgery I can't talk for two days! | |
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| Does the size of the ring matter ?
Posted: 12/15/2008 2:56:05 PM | I just decided to turn it around and mirror that sentiment back to him. It was not a nice thing for him to say...degrading, in fact.
Degrading?
DEGRADING?!
I'm kind of at a loss for words as to how that could possibly be degrading? If my mate chose me, ONE man from a cast of billions of others, why in the world would I NOT be overwhelmed and flattered? So to, I say it for the women. One man picked YOU out of a cast of billions. You could say with such little effort you wouldn't be flattered and overwhelmed? Oh no wait, yes you could...'cause you said it's degrading.
So I suppose when someone picks you out of the cast of billions, it's a pretty degrading experience then. Nice. You lemme know how that works out for you.
As for me, I'd have no hesitation or reservation to say and admit for all to see that I'd be beside myself with glee knowing that in her casting call, *I* was selected over billions of other potentials. How stupid of me to speculate that a woman would also be equally flattered and overwhelmed. What WAS I thinking... | |
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| Does the size of the ring matter ?
Posted: 12/15/2008 3:01:12 PM |
As for me, I'd have no hesitation or reservation to say and admit for all to see that I'd be beside myself with glee knowing that in her casting call, *I* was selected over billions of other potentials. How stupid of me to speculate that a woman would also be equally flattered and overwhelmed. What WAS I thinking...
Damn straight... I would be flattered, overwhelmed and absolutely happy as a lark. Please don't put me in the degraded category, because if that is the category all others want to be in, I prefer to be on my own and be flattered. | |
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| Does the size of the ring matter ?
Posted: 12/15/2008 3:31:24 PM | [Yeah, at this point Cat, you're a bigger woman then I am in considering keeping her as a friend. ]
this is what I was wondering too.. Cat , do what you feel is right, but from what you say you have already made the (right) decision. Most of us here will support you on that one.
Again, good luck Wed, will keep you in my prayers
Joanne | |
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| Does the size of the ring matter ?
Posted: 12/15/2008 4:50:13 PM | Mirroring a sentiment...hmm...
Ohhhh!... You mean like this... :
You, like some women on here, just like to be catty..and scratch and hiss ..... at another of your gender. Were you trying to impress to men that you are accomodating and forgiving of his behaviour? A GOOD woman? Do you think you are being subtle and smart? No..all I have to do is read your posts. Silly woman...so transparent...and so manipulative. Of course you're offended. Most narcissists would be. You repeatedly attempt to bash such men - as for ex: Iceman & BDJ, to name just a couple - in addition to 'some other women' - for calling you on the same carpet you consistantly trip over in your notoriously twisting of their (aka 'others') posts - renaming your "transparent, and manipulative" antics, to Mirroring. Acknowledging, and expressing an appreciation for the compliment that BDJ paid me is flirty and giggling in your book... of course it is! LOL Gee... I suppose wishing a Very Merry Christmas to him, and those he holds dear, was just downright slutty behavior in the eyes of one that is so obviously paranoid of her OWN "transparency and manipulation' of others as a means to 'succeed' in life, being seen through by sooo many more then what she could begin to handle believing. Makes sense. Your being consumed in your relentless defense, and quest of, supporting your delusions of grandeur, along side of witnessing your overblown sense of entitlement that you display not only in this thread, but in many others, albeit humorous at times is, for the most part - Sad. Your tactics are, at best, anitquated (Crow? and Cats/Catty? lol). All that any man that gets "scratched, and clawed" by you for coming up short in the 'payment' department is to ask as the song goes, "Forgive me for thinking you had a heart worth breaking" We crows have wings Daisy, and are able to fly high above your self-built pedestal for the birds eye view. On behalf of myself, and fellow Crows... Thank you for the title.  ________________________________ Forgive me, folks. I have stated my opinion on the subject matter of 'Does the size of the Ring Matter', and altough it's been fun, shocking, and insightful to have participated in this thread... I now leave it, for others to get to it's original context,and intent. Warm wishes to ALL... for a Happy Holiday Season. | |
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| Does the size of the ring matter ?
Posted: 12/15/2008 5:37:30 PM | The size of the ring (or should I say diamond?) does not matter. My grandmother had a small wedding ring but as the years went by and their financial status improved my grandfather would buy her bigger and more beautiful ones, as a reflection of their growing together in love. I would not know where to go as my family has a personal jewler that we get all of our jewlry from. Best of luck to you dear.
 Merry Christmas | |
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| Does the size of the ring matter ?
Posted: 12/15/2008 5:58:47 PM | Cat
I have to tell you that I shared your tale with my mother and she started singing the Kanye West song "I ain't saying she a golddigger..."
She said she feels badly for the guy...she is still saying WOW. | |
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MsGone
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Joined: 6/3/2008
Msg: 244 | |
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| Does the size of the ring matter ?
Posted: 12/15/2008 6:52:28 PM | Catkin, that is one sad story. That poor man. How could he not have seen that side of her before? The idea of a man loving you enough to pop the question, something most women are dying to hear, being shot down like that is horrifying.
I love jewelry and exceptional rings but would never want a man to go broke buying it. I inherited a lot of pricey rings from family members but I also have a collect of good costume jewelry that I take with me when I travel. The funny thing is I get more compliments on the costume stuff. | |
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| Does the size of the ring matter ?
Posted: 12/15/2008 7:57:09 PM | Carolann, I agree it is one sad story. I think my friend fooled him like she fooled alot of people. She is upset with me for not taking her side. While I think friends are important and your relationship is too, I can't condone the way she did the man. She is the very essense of why men don't like talking to women about life, love, and the bad women in it.
I have family jewelry that was passed down, but I still have simple tastes. | |
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| Does the size of the ring matter ?
Posted: 12/15/2008 8:32:56 PM | I actually got to pic out my own and didn't know it...........I was told that my X husbands bestfriend and boss was looking for rings for his girlfriend of 3yrs......
She is very money motivated if you know what I mean.........so I picked out an expensive ring that I thought was her taste and just about cried when I got it 3wks later. Yes, I was happy to get any ring, but I would have been happy with a simple cold band......it was the ring alone that meant something to me. Not the size of the diamond. That big fancy ring didn't make my marriage anymore solid.......just kind of made him feel like he bought me if you want to know the truth of the matter.. | |
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| Does the size of the ring matter ?
Posted: 12/15/2008 9:06:16 PM |
I think my friend fooled him like she fooled alot of people. She is upset with me for not taking her side. While I think friends are important and your relationship is too, I can't condone the way she did the man. She is the very essense of why men don't like talking to women about life, love, and the bad women in it.
Cat -- I don't think she's just the sole bearer of blame here for fooling someone...I mean it's like that old story, "who's the bigger fool - the fool that leads or the fool that followed?"
She fooled him alright, and everyone else too. But really, he kinda fooled himself at the same time. He was "the fool that followed". I can only speculate, since I know neither of them, but I'd think it'd be easy to say that she sent off warning signs throughout their relationship, and he was blind to them all. That was, until she pulled back the veil at dinner and exposed herself for all to see.
But I'm sure he feels he fooled himself just the same. Poor guy.
My first fiancé and I had a deal...IF it was ever gonna lead to a marriage, I could buy her the skimpiest ring ever created but the bands for the wedding had to be platinum...LOL. At the time, it seemed a pretty fair deal seeing as how I'd be wearing a band as well. Her engagement ring wasn't over the top spectacular, it was a fairly modest ring to be sure, but she showed it off when she had the chance and was quite taken with it all things considered.
The next ring I bought was a bit more lavish than the last, but still what I'd consider to be a modest ring. My SO saw it the day it arrived under a clever ruse (I was impressed with my ingenuity actually hehe), and she said it was exquisite. Positively spectacular. When I asked her months later and showed her the ring, which she had already seen, she was floored to say the least. She was more impressed with the gesture than anything, but the fact that she adored her ring that she had admired previously, just made things easier. No, it wasn't a "2 months salary" ring either. I never bought into that nonsense, and never would. She thinks it's the best and that's good enough for me.
I wonder though if she'll want platinum bands too now? LMAO.  | |
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| Does the size of the ring matter ?
Posted: 12/15/2008 9:43:50 PM | In my previous lifetime, lol, we doodled some ideas, took the drawing to a young designer and had a one-of-a-kind ring made for significantly less money than the mass-market "bride-on-a-conveyor-belt" type ring - *plus* we were supporting an artist with our commission. How cool is that?
Were I ever to get married again I think I'd like to go with a really unique band. | |
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| Does the size of the ring matter ?
Posted: 12/16/2008 4:11:37 AM | Last night, I gave a gift to a friend.....really, a friend, never any kissing, touching, romance, anything. She is very different from me, very religious, much more outgoing. I found a simple, elegant, small 10k gold cross with a teeny tiny diamond in the middle on a very VERY fragile (AKA CHEAP LOL) looking necklace. I masqueraded it as an early Xmas present but truly it was just a chance to give someone something, emphasizing NOT to give me a gift in return.......she is a teacher, has a daughter, money is tight for her.
When she saw this simple, little, what I consider very VERY affordable gift, she actually had a few tears, telling me she really only had one other cross.
It was a great gift giving experience.
And not once did she ask for "THE GOOD MONEY CROSS."
And for someone giving a gift, that is the ultimate high. She was touched that I wanted to do that. Those few tears gave me more joy than the gift could ever give her.
When you give a gift that is EXPECTED OR DEMANDED, it is NEVER as satisfying.
No way.
I suggest everyone reads the old O Henry story about the wife who cuts and sells her hair to buy a chain for Christmas for her husband to attach to his watch, only to find that he sold his watch to buy an exotic set of combs and brushes for his wife to use on her hair.
THAT is an expression of love many on this site would consider THE ULTIMATE.
An early "Merry Christmas" to everyone, and hopes that we all find a fish to swim with next year. | |
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