| Does the size of the ring matter ?
Posted: 12/16/2008 5:56:42 AM | Guys, it's one piece of jewelry she will wear every day.
It has to be functional and to her liking.
Same as the clothes or tv she gets for you. Yes, you can watch superbowl wearing pink cashmere vest over lavender shirt on 15 inch tv, but would you really want to? | |
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| Does the size of the ring matter ?
Posted: 12/16/2008 7:00:48 AM | BigDaddyJinx...
The platinum bands story is funny. Isn't it funny how things always come back to make us laugh at ourselves when we don't expect it. I personally think you should get whatever makes both of you happy.
My friend last night called me to say she thinks she messed up. All I could say to her after working 12 hours yesterday was, "Yah, think?" I talked to him yesterday and he said he still loves her. Go figure.
My Daddy didn't buy my Mom a diamond ring until they had been married 10 years. Of course, he was extravagant when he did, but she was happy with the band only. I know my parents loved each other deeply and are still married to this day and happy together. | |
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| Does the size of the ring matter ?
Posted: 12/16/2008 4:57:58 PM | Since so many concepts have changed with dating and marriage over the years, the symbolism of the ring hasnt changed. Some thoughts, not sure if they were mentioned.
The woman has to wear the engagement ring, so when she goes out into a public place, it is usually quite noticeable and it lets other males know that she is taken. Yet the man wears nothing. I'm quite surprised that many women have not noted on this. Doesn't seem like it's fair to women.
Why have the roles not been reversed, where the woman has to buy the man something that may be desirable? Not sure what that would be but you get the point. | |
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| Does the size of the ring matter ?
Posted: 12/17/2008 9:01:32 AM | I've posted previous things on this forum but didn't mention anything about the man wearing a ring. I would be more than happy to buy him a ring because you are right, the man should get something too.
The idea of wedding rings was a sticky subject in my marriage. My ex refused to wear his making up every excuse that he could. "Oh I don't like jewelry, I'm not used to wearing a ring, it pinches my finger, etc., etc." He would put it on for maybe 2 or 3 hours and then gripe so much I got tired of hearing it. He cared so little about it that he eventually lost it and has no idea where it is.
Could this be the reason we females don't buy a ring for our male? A ring for a female is something they treasure for the rest of their lives and I'm speaking in generalizations here but it seems that most guys could care less. | |
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| Does the size of the ring matter ?
Posted: 12/17/2008 9:56:34 AM |
Same as the clothes or tv she gets for you. Yes, you can watch superbowl wearing pink cashmere vest over lavender shirt on 15 inch tv, but would you really want to?
Lilith -- Yea, and Reason #1 why men should never allow their women to buy either. Actually, women shouldn't allow their men to buy either for them in the same way. Those two items specifically should be he buys for him, and she buys for herself.
If my woman bought me clothes, I'd tell her I hope she kept the receipt. I don't play "dress up" very well, nor do I take kindly to the inference. Though I did let my ex fiancé buy me a slick black dress shirt one year, just because we were in the store and she asked if I liked it and said "Yep."
And seriously...how many women do YOU know personally that would ever or have ever bought their man a TV? Pfffffft. Bet you could count them on one hand and have 3 fingers or more unused.
Anyways, back to my soaps on my 50" plasma, waiting for my batch of wife-beaters and gonch to dry.
BigDaddyJinx...
The platinum bands story is funny. Isn't it funny how things always come back to make us laugh at ourselves when we don't expect it. I personally think you should get whatever makes both of you happy.
My friend last night called me to say she thinks she messed up. All I could say to her after working 12 hours yesterday was, "Yah, think?" I talked to him yesterday and he said he still loves her. Go figure.
Cat -- Yea I couldn't help but laugh at the thought. It had been a couple years since I had the thought last, and it still makes me kinda giggle. I think since I accepted the platinum band idea previously, I'd be compelled to do so again if my new lady thought it'd be appropriate. I mean I'd feel I was slighting her in a way if I accepted it earlier, then traded down later on with her lol. Ideally though, I'll leave that up to her if she wants traditional bands or platinum ones.
And as for buddy, I seriously hope and pray that he's just going through expected pangs of loss, and he won't be dumb enough to go back to your friend. He needs to be with someone who doesn't look at him with a dollar sign over his head, and deserves no less than that. You can tell him I said that. No chick is worth the understanding that you've been reduced to a bank statement and little else. He needs to be in the deep end of the pool, not the shallow end...too full on that side already. 
Could this be the reason we females don't buy a ring for our male? A ring for a female is something they treasure for the rest of their lives and I'm speaking in generalizations here but it seems that most guys could care less.
LLFG -- I dunno Lady, if my woman bought me a ring which clearly breaks the "woman code", I'd have to make sure she also buys me an umbrella 'cause I'd be convinced that either A) the sky was about to fall, or B) snowfall is expected as we see that Hell has finally frozen over.
Then I'd have to "lift the tail" to make sure she's not packin' the same equipment I have.
Then I'd faint, I'm sure. Either at the realization she was serious, or that she really does pack the same equipment I have...either way. LOL. | |
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| Does the size of the ring matter ?
Posted: 12/17/2008 2:33:12 PM |
(ladylookingforgentleman) I've posted previous things on this forum but didn't mention anything about the man wearing a ring. I would be more than happy to buy him a ring because you are right, the man should get something too.
The idea of wedding rings was a sticky subject in my marriage. My ex refused to wear his making up every excuse that he could. "Oh I don't like jewelry, I'm not used to wearing a ring, it pinches my finger, etc., etc." He would put it on for maybe 2 or 3 hours and then gripe so much I got tired of hearing it. He cared so little about it that he eventually lost it and has no idea where it is.
Could this be the reason we females don't buy a ring for our male?
Well, instead of giving yourself conniptions over the fact that he didn't value the same things you did, if you really loved him...
WHY DIDN'T YOU BUY HIM SOMETHING HE WOULD LIKE???
KB | |
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| Does the size of the ring matter ?
Posted: 12/17/2008 4:25:24 PM | | Not the size that matters, but the love/thoughtfullness that goes into buying it. If you truely love someone, enough to marry them, would you buy them a cheap ass ring? or would you buy them something magnificent, because you view them as being magnificent enough to marry? those are my thoughts anyways! | |
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| Does the size of the ring matter ?
Posted: 12/17/2008 6:23:50 PM | 84-Jeff-84
There are lovely men like you still out there.
You are to be appreciated for your sentiments....that is exactly how I want my man to think of me...and he does.
I hope you have a great Christmas.
 | |
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| Does the size of the ring matter ?
Posted: 12/19/2008 1:39:36 PM | Well, all, my friend is crying in her milk today. The guy left her for good. He talked to her and basically said that he would never be able to know if she really meant what she said. While I care for my friend, I have to say, I agree with his mentality. How would he ever know if she were honest again. So, she's back on the market.... and no I won't set her up with anyone!
BigDaddyJinx, yea, he is moving on thank goodness. My girlfriend is realizing now thanks to everyone who has heard their story saying nasty things to her. I guess if you say something like that to a beautiful ring, that you deserve the fall out. Funny thing, if I wasn't so nice and had morals, I think I could see myself with him!!!
If I ever buy a ring for a guy, its because I don't pack the same equipment and because I love him. Heart and soul...
You wouldn't have had a heart attack instead of fainting...? | |
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| Does the size of the ring matter ?
Posted: 12/19/2008 2:17:26 PM | At Sak'N Save in the produce section they carry different sizes of carrots- 1/3 cut 1/2 carrots 1 carrots.
Uhuh! sorry I oversight the wedding ring , in any jewelry store they carry different carats of golds and diamonds. | |
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| Does the size of the ring matter ?
Posted: 12/19/2008 4:40:32 PM |
BigDaddyJinx, yea, he is moving on thank goodness. My girlfriend is realizing now thanks to everyone who has heard their story saying nasty things to her. I guess if you say something like that to a beautiful ring, that you deserve the fall out. Funny thing, if I wasn't so nice and had morals, I think I could see myself with him!!!
If I ever buy a ring for a guy, its because I don't pack the same equipment and because I love him. Heart and soul...
You wouldn't have had a heart attack instead of fainting...?
Cat -- It's good to see that he isn't one of "them" that would be so silly as to get back with someone like that, "just because". His internet cool points just shot way up lol.
As for your girlfriend, she did it ALL to herself. She has NO ONE to blame but herself and herself alone. With any luck, this episode will teach her that life and love don't revolve around $$$, and if she expects to be with someone she needs to adjust her way of thinking, lest she find herself in the same scenario later on down the road. Makes me wonder if we shouldn't go back to the Scarlet Letter days, and tag a great big "G" for Gold Digger on her and her sort, just to make it easier lmao. At least she'd have a consolation prize
And buying a ring for a guy if you don't pack the same equipment and actually genuinely love him heart and soul...I could fake a heart attack if that'd help  | |
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| Does the size of the ring matter ?
Posted: 12/19/2008 5:51:03 PM | BigDaddyJinx,
You would fake a heart attack for me? For me? Please don't do that. I would prefer to have you around to debate issues with a little longer!
Yes, she is so hurt she is out dating tonight.... go figure. Love sure ended fast for her didn't.
Cat | |
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| Does the size of the ring matter ?
Posted: 12/19/2008 6:09:08 PM | Opening Poster:
When I got married, a gazillion years ago, the "rule" was... as I studied on it, frankly... spend "at least" 10% of your GROSS (not net) income on the ring (set).
I actually said these words to a number of jewelry-store clerks:
"I'm sorry, I'd like to see something more expensive, please."
I loved the look on their faces when I said that.
I'm just glad I got married when I was a GS-07 instead of the GS-12 I am now. | |
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| Does the size of the ring matter ?
Posted: 12/19/2008 7:40:25 PM | | TakeMeThe wayIam... LOL!! You are only the one who understood the question"" Does the size of the ring matter ?? (1/3 carrot 1/2 carrot1carrot ,where is the best store to buy a wedding ring ?) Your answer hit the jackpot.. | |
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| Does the size of the ring matter ?
Posted: 12/19/2008 8:20:19 PM | | Alwaysinthought: I wouldn't worry so much about the size of the ring as long as the other thing is of greater value! | |
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| Does the size of the ring matter ?
Posted: 12/19/2008 10:48:38 PM | The only size of a ring that matters, is how well it fits on your finger.
I don't know anything about carrots or where you can go to find good engagement rings, but there is likely places in your area.
However, if you have preferences, then you could bring them up if asked. Some guys get this sort of input from their fiance, and rightly so, because as a previous poster said, the ring has to suit the one who wears it, as you will be wearing it for life. | |
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| Does size matter ?
Posted: 12/19/2008 11:36:32 PM | I'm just going to say it all depends on the girl. It doesn't matter if she's more material than others - that's her and you love her in spite of, or even because of it. :P
Just dont be in such a rush that you don't put enough thought and money into it...
It really is the thought that counts, but ideally, you will only be doing this with her once, so make it count. Save up a little longer if you want to...if anything it gives you more time to look at and think about getting her something she will like more. Regardless though, she's going to love it anyway - it's the thought that count. | |
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| Does size matter ?
Posted: 12/20/2008 8:15:49 AM | Just thinking about thoughfulness....
I loved it when my son brought me a dandelion from outside when he was 3.
I loved it when my 2 yr. old daughter brought me a plastic pail of wriggling worms that she had industriously dug out of the garden and washed. (I had to put a forced smile on my face and ooooh over her hard work.)
I loved it when my husband brought me home a paperback that I might like or a kitchen gadget, or flower seeds, or take-out dinner. Or...taking me out for dinner for a surprise!
These are all thoughtfulness. I appreciated them in the context of what they were.
But an engagement ring is the symbol of what and how much he thinks of you.
If he went to the time and effort to give you something that shows how much he considers your feelings, your likes & dislikes, and that it will make you happy, then he is a gem and worth keeping.
Any man that buys an engagement ring without understanding who she is and what she likes, IMO, is not a man I'd want to marry. I wouldn't even consider going out with a man who is thoughtless like that, never mind marrying him! I mean...really....you both should know each other through and through before embarking on marriage. | |
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| Does size matter ?
Posted: 12/20/2008 10:29:14 AM | Use the old ring from the previous marriage,oh boy am I going to get hollered at now right ladies. Just before the divorce she gave it back and said she didnt want anything from me in regards to the ring so I still have it. Correct me if I am wrong but a ring is a simble of commitment and to show other males that this person is involved with someone and is of limits. All men look at the ring finger first thing at a meeting and if there is a ring there then they just pass and keep looking as per say . The women will agree that when they are single and go out they put a ring looking like a wedding ring on the finger to keep unwanted advances from coming there way .
Get a custom made ring done up as well and then it is unique to only you 2 people and it is then what she has designed and would want even more. Havent talked to anyone that has given a cubuk ziconia ring as of yet , so ladies what is your take on that kind of ring as well?  | |
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| Does the size of the ring matter ?
Posted: 12/20/2008 4:16:53 PM | | No the size of the ring shouldn't matter... If recieve a big ring, then it's just a bonus. The size of the ring doesn't determind on how much the person loves you. | |
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| Does the size of the ring matter ?
Posted: 1/7/2009 6:17:14 AM | It's clear we have a bit of a culture clash and a lot of denial.
One can look at this from opposite sides - anyone see "The Joy Luck Club?"
For some people, love is about people. For others, marriage is about life arrangements.
Sometimes, wanting a lot of cash on the finger is repulsive. For others, it's a matter of seeing how much one is valued.
There are two nasty old cultural hangovers here:
1. Marriage was defined for centuries as pay for Puddy-tat. Specifically, trading nubility (well, that's actually defined as marriagability, but we will understand it as desirability) for support once the buns start coming out of the oven. An engagement ring was literally a deposit, a valuable thing that a woman (who by definition would not be able to support herself) could cash in if the guy split.
2. As both I and others have noted, he De Beers group of megamonsters have fashioned the cult of the diamond and the idea that unwillingness to make
De Beers rich means lack of respect for the lady.
Frankly, I've never met a woman who wouldn't rather have a house. (Cars and clothes depreciate.)
The more I read and think about this, the more I'm secure about not being married.
ED BEAR | |
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| Does the size of the ring matter ?
Posted: 1/7/2009 8:08:02 AM | Update on Broken Engagment....
My sad friend is now upset she did what she did. She called the guy she jilted and said she was sorry, she made a big mistake and would he please talk to her. Well, he agreed to meet her and they met last night....
This morning, she called me to say that they talked for three hours. She said he cried and told her he would never take her back. She is upset because she said she apologized, but he wouldn't give her another chance. When we were talking she said she didn't understand why. He told her that he loved her more than anything last night but he was hurt so badly and he would never be able to be with her because if she could be so calious about the ring size, he would never know if anything he ever gave her would be good enough in her eyes. He couldn't live that way.
So when he left she said that she felt more anger than she ever has. Then she opened pandora's box with me... she asked," What happened to forgiveness?"
I let it out... I told her that she was unbelievable. She looked at me with this blank stare and said what. I said to her that women would have loved to have been the receipient of that ring and the love that man gave her. She carelessly threw it all away because of greed. Then I asked her is she ever loved him at all? Her answer, does anyone ever really love anyone? I almost choked on tears....
This was the end of our friendship because it made me aware that she is not only unable to love a man for who is his, she probably has no capacity to be a real friend. I wished her well and realized its women like her who ruin the hell out of it for women like me who want a man for who he is...
I am still in shock and disbelief.... never knew a woman before this selfish. | |
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| Does the size of the ring matter ?
Posted: 1/7/2009 10:09:38 AM |
This morning, she called me to say that they talked for three hours. She said he cried and told her he would never take her back. She is upset because she said she apologized, but he wouldn't give her another chance. When we were talking she said she didn't understand why. He told her that he loved her more than anything last night but he was hurt so badly and he would never be able to be with her because if she could be so calious about the ring size, he would never know if anything he ever gave her would be good enough in her eyes. He couldn't live that way.
Cat -- UGH! GAK!
Sounds to me like your ex friend has a LOT of growing up to do. She strikes me as another who thinks "sorry" will make everything better, and make all the bad things go away. Life is full of second and third and fourth chances for a great deal of things, but some situations are reserved for a "Get it right the first time or else" way of thinking...such as cases like this. She had her chance, and pissed it all away. She has no one to blame but herself and her greedy impulses (not to mention crass idiocy). I'm relieved that her ex wasn't stupid enough to let her have this second chance. It's nice to know that there are still some people out there that say what they mean and mean what they say, and will stand behind it 100% (even through the tears).
So when he left she said that she felt more anger than she ever has. Then she opened pandora's box with me... she asked," What happened to forgiveness?"
I let it out... I told her that she was unbelievable. She looked at me with this blank stare and said what. I said to her that women would have loved to have been the receipient of that ring and the love that man gave her. She carelessly threw it all away because of greed. Then I asked her is she ever loved him at all? Her answer, does anyone ever really love anyone? I almost choked on tears....
OMFG. She really IS clueless ain't she? Well she summed herself up neatly with her reaction to the ring initially, and now adding to it with her inference about love being rendered meaningless and beside the point. She just really validated everything we already knew or came to speculate about her, and clearly reaffirmed the ex's opinion that nothing he'll ever do for her will be good enough. I can see why you almost choked on tears. Eesh. This chick is Grade A classless.
This was the end of our friendship because it made me aware that she is not only unable to love a man for who is his, she probably has no capacity to be a real friend. I wished her well and realized its women like her who ruin the hell out of it for women like me who want a man for who he is...
Well, though you lost a "friend", what kind of "friend" was she anyways with that kinda attitude? I think you'll be better off without her, as will he. Perhaps if she's really REALLY lucky, not only losing her man but now her friend as well will snap her back to reality and she can take a good long look in the mirror and see if she still likes who's lookin' back at her. Friends like her, no one needs, be they male or female. They're toxic and serve no real purpose in keeping them around except maybe outta pity at best.
Just like he made the right choice, I'd have to believe that you did the same by kicking her ass to the curb where she belongs. Maybe she needs to lose it all before she realizes what a moron she is. Hopefully she uses these experiences to give her attitude an overhaul for the better. | |
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| Does the size of the ring matter ?
Posted: 1/7/2009 10:29:33 AM | Yes, size of the ring does matter. It should fit comfortably. I don't, however, recommend affixing perishable vegetables of any size.
Rings don't really matter at all one way or the other. IMO | |
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