| Does the size of the ring matter ?
Posted: 9/13/2008 12:21:21 AM | big daddy ink~
um...actually, if you read my personal feelings about the matter... my attitude towards money, and such, i pretty clearly stated that i would rather that the money be used for something like a downpayment on some sort of income generating asset... but that is MY opnion, and not neccessarily the opinion of many women on the topic.
and by the way...when you get married to someone... its not your money...and her money... it becomes both of yours. even if you keep separate finanances you are still in a legally binding partnership. so if you marry a partner who is financially irresponsible it can effect you too...
which goes back to the statement that i obviously need to clarify... i told the poor guy.. if you really love this woman buy her the best ring that you can afford... the key word here being afford... why a couple would want to start thier lives out together in major debt over a wedding or a ring is beyond me...people do it all the time... but what you are being so snarky about i cannot say...
perhaps it's because you have no career...adn that's really what you are being snarky about... you feel insecure about it. you are afraid that the woman of your dreams...she'd reject you because you could never afford to get her a ring... well... that's too bad...you could always DO something about it rather then lash out due to your own sense of inadequacy...
or it could be that you are one of those guys that makes a lot of money then uses it to control the person he is with... always acting like you have leverage, or "power" over them because you have more money then they do... you could afford to buy the woman a really nice ring, but you couldn't be bothered, because instead you only care about what YOU want instead of trying to go out of your way to make a nice gesture towards someone you supposedly love... yuck!
well anyway...good luck working through those issues...whichever ones they happen to be...
lar | |
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| Does the size of the ring matter ?
Posted: 9/13/2008 12:52:26 AM | which goes back to the statement that i obviously need to clarify... i told the poor guy.. if you really love this woman buy her the best ring that you can afford... the key word here being afford... why a couple would want to start thier lives out together in major debt over a wedding or a ring is beyond me...people do it all the time... but what you are being so snarky about i cannot say...
perhaps it's because you have no career...adn that's really what you are being snarky about... you feel insecure about it. you are afraid that the woman of your dreams...she'd reject you because you could never afford to get her a ring... well... that's too bad...you could always DO something about it rather then lash out due to your own sense of inadequacy...
You're almost (almost) too funny for words. You directly compared how much a man "cares for you" to how much he spends on you, because you're "important". Make me puke. It has ZERO to do with inadequacy, but EVERYTHING to do with outing you as a superficial, money grubbing zealot. Love doesn't come with a price tag, but in YOUR world it clearly does, so if we're talking about inadequacies...are you sure you're not lookin' in the mirror?
For the record, my SO loves the ring I bought her.
perhaps it's because you have no career...adn that's really what you are being snarky about... you feel insecure about it. you are afraid that the woman of your dreams...she'd reject you because you could never afford to get her a ring... well... that's too bad...you could always DO something about it rather then lash out due to your own sense of inadequacy...
Okay, so now you are completely out of relevant rebuttal, so you start digging into "inadequacy" and "no career". You know, you're so shallow you scrape the Earth when you walk. Really. I think you need to come down from your ivory tower and join us here in the real world.
Just a suggestion.
well anyway...good luck working through those issues...whichever ones they happen to be...
I'd return the exact same sentiment your way, however, clearly this would fall on deaf ears because in your world, love has a price tag associated with it. That's YOUR issue, and you can have it.
Next...
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| Does the size of the ring matter ?
Posted: 9/13/2008 12:59:21 AM | | Look at her rings, if she likes huge rings, then it'll matter, it shouldn't matter, unless, she's not worth marrying i'm sure you can make that call :) | |
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| Does the size of the ring matter ?
Posted: 9/13/2008 1:01:27 AM | | Yes it does. If it's to small it can cause pain.Thats why I will only buy magnum products! They are made for larger men. | |
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| Does the size of the ring matter?
Posted: 9/13/2008 4:12:42 AM | My last GF - the only one to live with me - once saw one of those ads by the deBeers diamond cartel (the one that works miners to death and hoards the diamonds to drive prices up) saying, "How six months' salary ended up on so-and-so's finger." She was angry about the manipulative attempt to squeeze money out of people by spreading the word that if someone really loved you, they'd make deBeers richer.
Loved that girl. Those ads made me angry, too, like the infamous Michelin Tire "dead baby" commercials implying you didn't love your family if you bought any other tire.
She meant it, too... when she left, it was for a welfare case who'd never had a job in his life!
ED BEAR
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| Does the size of the ring matter?
Posted: 9/13/2008 6:13:53 AM | | I don't particularly like diamonds, if I were to receive an engagement ring I would be more than happy if it were an inexpensive gem stone, maybe our birthstones or another stone. I saw a pretty ruby ring a few months ago that I would find very attractive as an engagement ring, and it cost less than 600 dollars. Although I am a plump woman, I am shorter than most women and have small hands, so a small ring looks fine on my finger. I tend to agree with some of the posters, if she is complaining about the diamond not being good enough, show her the door. | |
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| Does the size of the ring matter?
Posted: 9/13/2008 6:24:34 AM | Size of the ring doesn't matter to me at all... the strangest things "speak to me" and a huge rock isn't one of them.
However... it does matter to some, does that make them shallow, or are they just speaking a different language? A man friend of mine just asked his lady to marry him... he surprised her with a diamond that was over a carat. Not sure if it mattered to her, but it did to him. They are thrilled to be getting married... who is going to rain on their parade saying they are wrong? pfft, not me... he could afford it and willingly, happily, spent the money.
People ought to celebrate their happiness in ways that are meaningful to them - and hopefully, as you're getting married, similar things will be meaningful to you. | |
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| Does the size of the ring matter?
Posted: 9/13/2008 7:54:37 AM | Size doesn't matter.... It's the man behind it, that does........
And yes...I am talking about rings.....
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| Does the size of the ring matter?
Posted: 9/13/2008 8:08:22 AM | | Honestly the man should get what he can afford, I mean I don't think anyone should be "paying off" a ring, that's ridiculous......as a BTDT girl, bigger does not necessarily mean better... | |
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| Does the size of the ring matter ?
Posted: 9/13/2008 8:11:54 AM | Spend your money wisely..... My opinion, for the cost of most diamonds, they should come with two wheels and a motor.
You have gotten some good serious replies. Get what you can pay for. Don't charge it or borrow money to purchase it. | |
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| Does the size of the ring matter ?
Posted: 9/13/2008 9:37:55 AM | Call me crazy...ok... I'll call myself crazy... but if a person has to ask this question, they don't know their intended well enough to endure a marriage. For a lot of women, damn straight the size of the ring matters... there are materialistic women that require baubles and constant cash flow in order to feel that they count for something..
Personally, I'm not a diamond fan so it would mean a lot more to me if the man wanting to propose put a little thought into the symbolism of the ring, and bought something that was special to me... Figuring out what type of ring to buy means figuring out the type of person you are proposing to marry... | |
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| Does the size of the ring matter ?
Posted: 9/13/2008 9:46:07 AM | | If it is the first marriage and you are young it does not matter but if older of course it matters,,,Why because it shows if he is cheap or not and what he thinks of your worth? | |
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| Does the size of the ring matter ?
Posted: 9/13/2008 11:33:04 AM |
larissan04: "um...actually, if you read my personal feelings about the matter... my attitude towards money, and such, i pretty clearly stated that i would rather that the money be used for something like a downpayment on some sort of income generating asset... but that is MY opnion, and not neccessarily the opinion of many women on the topic.
and by the way...when you get married to someone... its not your money...and her money... it becomes both of yours. even if you keep separate finanances you are still in a legally binding partnership. so if you marry a partner who is financially irresponsible it can effect you too... "
Really. Your priorities seem to be clear.
1) marry someone with enough money to make this worthwhile, filtering out seemingly-nice guys who don't have the dough
2) quickly convert any wealth from him to "us"
3) either be happy and invest his-I-mean-OUR-money into real estate or divorce him and take half
> "i told the poor guy..."
Racists, when they mention someone in an anecdote, will usually mark every noun like "guy" or "woman" with an adjective that indicates the color of that person. It's just how they think.
And similarly, you "marking" this guy with his financial worth is the same, really.
> "perhaps it's because you have no career..."
I bet he makes more per year than you do. And I bet you wouldn't think twice about marrying a guy who makes more than you do. But that should come as no surprise since you're so calculating about the financial advantages and the increased lifestyle you'll gain by doing so.
Any guy that marries you without a prenuptial agreement should have his head examined. | |
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| Does the size of the ring matter ?
Posted: 9/13/2008 9:29:01 PM | Hmmmm, if the size of the ring matters I shouldn't have married my ex husband because I didn't even get an engagement ring. Hell, the man didn't even buy wedding rings, my Mother gave us a wedding set from her previous marriage. Mental note to self: next time around no ring, run like hell because he really don't care about you.  | |
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| Does size matter ?
Posted: 9/13/2008 9:47:51 PM | | OK... There's expensive rings but short marriages and cheap rings and they're still together. | |
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| Does the size of the ring matter ?
Posted: 9/13/2008 10:00:14 PM | take me the way i am & big daddy~
not that any of the personal attacks towards me had anything to do with OP's question, and not that they were warranted in anyway...i'll again suggest that you
YOU ACTUALLY READ MY POSTS...
what i said is that a guy should buy what he can AFFORD. he should NOT go into debt over the thing. a couple should not start out thier lives together IN DEBT. Hello! personal finance 101! take the money and invest it instead! hello!?!
as far as my attitude towards money...not that it is really any of your business...
i am a frugal person. i do not like men who are not. i never pay retail for anything; and i would never buy a brand new car. I do not use credit cards; i pay cash for everything.
look, an individual could make 300k a year and have no assets and huge debt. income is NOT wealth (hello! finance 101! hello!). financial irresponsibility is a huge turn off to me. men who have to show off are not the types of men that i would date. also, i actually prefer NOT do date men that are very very wealthy as they tend to use thier money as a means of control. i'd rather marry someone that is a true partner and is as frugal as i am or even more so! I don't put money into things like cars or status symbols and i dont' want to be with a man that needs to do that. and uh... if you read my profile you'd see that i have my own business...so...i am happily building my business... but i suppose that makes me one of those money grubbing evil capitalist pigs! arghhhhhh!
if you don't know anything about personal finance don't blame me. there are plenty of great books to read and if you like i'd be happy to suggest a few of them...and to act like i am some kind of gold digger is completely laughable... you just demonstrated not only complete ignorance but some very deep insecurities...
lar | |
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| Does the size of the ring matter ?
Posted: 9/14/2008 10:42:40 AM | One person said the pawn shops have rings cheaper and bigger but 2 things wrong with them, first they sure are cheaper but that makes you cheap allso, 2 i would want one that is not used it didnt work for the person that had it before so you have one stick all ready.
Now these women that say bigger or leave are just gold diggers, a man will get what they can aford and if its not big enough for you will you dont really love the person. | |
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| Does the size of the ring matter ?
Posted: 9/14/2008 1:26:30 PM | not that any of the personal attacks towards me had anything to do with OP's question, and not that they were warranted in anyway...i'll again suggest that you
YOU ACTUALLY READ MY POSTS...
Oh we have been. Maybe you should take the time to RE-read your own words?
as far as my attitude towards money...not that it is really any of your business...
None of us had to look very hard to see your attitudes about money. After "reading your posts" it was pretty clear in fact...here's a reminder:
"it is a difficult issue because it IS about lov e, but the thing is... a man in love, will do anything he can for the woman who is the love of his life. he would spare no expense to win her love, he'd take her to the nicest restaurant... so with this view in mind.. what does it say about a guy if he can afford to buy a woman a one ct ring but buys her a 1.4 ct? too me it says, " you aren't that important to me.""
Need I go on? You said some other really interesting gems along the same lines...but I only need to cite this one to prove the point. Yea, I'll suggest that YOU go and re-read your own words and then see if you still wanna play.
if you don't know anything about personal finance don't blame me. there are plenty of great books to read and if you like i'd be happy to suggest a few of them...and to act like i am some kind of gold digger is completely laughable... you just demonstrated not only complete ignorance but some very deep insecurities...
And here we see, you have nothing to add, so you once again drift off into obscurity with talk of personal finances this time. You're trying, I know, but you're failing horribly. Quit while you're ahead.
Discussing irrelevant topics while engaged in debate is what is ignorant, and shows glaring signs of insecurity. Funny though, that you try to project those insecurities on US while in reality you're just keep personifying it of yourself. You can try and backpedal and rationalize your statements with vagueries and obscure topics that have nothing at all to do with the discussion we had, but no one's buying it. You said what you said, as you said it, and as it appeared...and now you're trying to find the escape hatch. You made it abundantly clear that you associate the ring worth with her "worth", and now you're just trying to blow smoke up everyone's ass by throwing "personal finances" out into the mix. Personal finances, knowing about them and how to handle them, have ZERO to do with this.
Seriously...quit while you're ahead. No one's buying your bullshit.
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| Does the size of the ring matter ?
Posted: 9/14/2008 1:47:13 PM | Size matters.
In all honesty, I like pretty things. Looking at a beautiful piece of jewelery every day for the rest of my life would make me hapier than looking at a tiny diamond chip in a silver setting bought for $129.99 in the 'clearance' section of the local mall's jewelery store. Significantly happier.
I wouldn't say no based on the ring if the person is right.
Hell I wouldn't even need a ring to say yes.
I'm not saying a ring should be incredibly expensive.
I'm just saying, some girls like a pretty ring. I only want to marry once. I want a nice ring. Is that wrong? | |
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| Does the size of the ring matter ?
Posted: 9/15/2008 7:51:42 PM |
One person said the pawn shops have rings cheaper and bigger but 2 things wrong with them, first they sure are cheaper but that makes you cheap allso, 2 i would want one that is not used it didnt work for the person that had it before so you have one stick all ready.
IMO it makes you frugal, not cheap. And as for being used, well, twas only worn once by mistake. | |
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| Does the size of the ring matter ?
Posted: 9/16/2008 6:20:48 AM | I think every situation and every couple is different. For some its silly and financially irresponsible to spend a lot of money on a ring; while for others its a drop in the bucket. I think the biggest factor either way is the woman. Some women could care less about jewlery at all, let alone what size her ring is. While others are really into jewlery, buy it for themselves all the time and see it as a reflection of their taste. Everyone is different and whatever works for them is what matters.
For me personally I love jewlery and almost went into the field as a career. One can look at me and see what type and size of jewlery I prefer because I frequently purchase it for myself. So naturally I would never wear a small engagement ring. First, I seriously doubt I would even be compatible with a man who couldn't afford to buy me what I wanted and even if I was I would me more than willing to wait as long as it took for him to be in the position to buy it. Second, I am already financially secure in that I've already owned a couple homes, bought several cars and motorcycles and am onto a second career. So I don't need to put money down on a house or pay off my car. Therefore a suitable man for me would be in a similar position and should have no problem buying me a ring of my liking. Also, although the initial "investment" may seem steep to some, the payoff (literally) would be ten times over for him. However I would also like to add that if he had the same fancy for nice rings I would be more than happy to buy him a nice ring as well. Men can have diamonds too, lol.
On a side note, most men that I have met that labled women like me "materialistic" didn't have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of anyway.  | |
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