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| Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...
Posted: 3/28/2006 11:14:03 AM | for me it is both bad experiences and the game of houses it seems that you can't tell a woman what you think of her when you first meet her because she doesn't know how to take it and you have to play mind games just for her to show interests if that is not true then answer me why do women like to act funky when you ask her how is she doing? or try to talk to her in the street?     | |
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| Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...
Posted: 3/28/2006 11:43:06 AM | | hey,i suppose if guys keep doin it to you,try lookin inwards (might be a need you have).But if its jsut the one guy ,try asking him..call him and ask him.....before youwerote this forum,for everyone to see, you approached him with your questions? If you didnt ,sounds to me like you didnt have much interest in this relatioship either....just an observation | |
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| Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...
Posted: 3/28/2006 11:50:13 AM | | the broken heart, eventually heals, but leaves a scar as a reminder. probibly wasn't love after just one month, maybe attraction or lust -which wears off quickly. sounds like he found someone else to "love" and moved on. it will hurt for a while. your young and cute so there will be plenty of suiters ready to attract your affections. dont try to analyze it, it will never make sense. just take what you learned from this short relationship and try not to get caught in the same situation again. | |
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| Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...
Posted: 3/28/2006 11:55:25 AM | Hi there... I know exactly how you feel. That has happened to me as well and it's horrible. The only reason I can come up with is "cause they are D*CKS. Girl you are better of without him. I have a new rule this year... if I don't hear from him for a few days (either email or phone.. he's done) cause if he really was considerate about your feelings and really was in love with you he would have told you ahead of time why he wasn't able to contact you. Don't you just love it when they say they were not online and yet you can see them there!! LOL Even better when they ask you to be exclusive and then you friend tells you via email that the guy your seeing contacted her wanting to go out!!!
Keep your chin up... there are some good ones left. Well so I've been told. I just wish the childish games would stop. Especially with men over the age of 30 ... god knows they should know better. Saying that... there are many that don't. We are just kept around until something better comes along.
Whatever you do.. do not contact him, don't wait for an apology and don't take his calls is you can. Block his emails and forget about him. He doesn't deserve you! It only takes 2 sec's to leave a message on your machine or email you saying he is busy but thinking about you. | |
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| Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...
Posted: 3/28/2006 12:42:27 PM | You are soooooooo not alone. In my opinion. they start to have true feelings, and then the fear sets in. Past stuff comes creeping back, and the closeness they "Like" with you, all of a sudden becomes overwhelming, and they back off. So, give him what he needs. Don't call, email, just leave him be. He'll either realize what an a hole he's being, and be honest to himself about this true feelings, or he'll keep running away like a lttle boy. Can't run from yourself though. If it's meant to be, he'll come to his senses. If not, there is nothing you can do. It's to bad, that we sometimes give into our fears from prior things in our lives. We miss,or pass up the new, because of the old. That's to bad.
By the way..
He's online, to see if you are.. I hope you know that! | |
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| this happened to me also.
Posted: 3/28/2006 7:24:39 PM | I can almost relate to this situation.
I met this guy last year.
I thought he loved me, but I was totally wrong.
We moved in together, and the first 3months was just super great.
After the 3months, he started drinking and abusing me verbally.
This continued over and over.
I didn't know what to think of this guy.
I know I loved him so much, that I put up with this abuse for 10 months.
Finally, I realized it wasn't him I was in love with.
It was an infactuation of him.
I fell in love with him the minute I saw him.
After the 3months, he started abusing me, I fell out of love.
It wasn't hard.
Then when he was sober, I would have those feeling back.
What does a person do about this.
Now that I am on my own, I still think of him.
it is hard to get that person out of your heart and mind.
Believe me, I have tried.
That is why I am on here,
I am trying to find someone else.
I only want a friend this time.
I am taking it nice and slow.
I am hoping that if I find someone, then maybe I can get him out of my heart.
The problem is we live in the same city.
He has another girlfriend now. | |
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| Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...
Posted: 3/29/2006 9:00:05 AM | | Yea, bummer, me too, all the time, Iwish that instead of ignoring me that they would have enough guts to tell you the truth, not just leave you hanging on not knowing what the deal is. I would rather even a lie at this point, just so I know that it is over and done with. I nice polite, I am sorry, I found someon else even would be hard but at least you would know. sorry, sorry it hurts pj | |
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| Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...
Posted: 3/31/2006 12:27:56 PM | It's not just men. Unfortunately, women do this as well (for different reasons, of course).
Now, I haven't read this entire string, so forgive me if I'm reiterating. But...
Generally speaking: if a guy dumps you like that, either he's gotten what he wanted and didn't care for the rest, or he does care for the rest but didn't get what he wanted.
This is usually sex. 'The rest', for better or for worse, could be mood-swings, friends, family, maturity, immaturity, social bracket, you name it.
When a woman dumps a guy like this (it's been my experience and observation) that something has turned her completely off.
Mannerisms, hygene, income, 'the guys', whatever.
The thing is, all of this could be avoided if two thing would happen.
First of all...
People need be up-front and honest from the begining all the way to the end.
I'm confident it's those little white lies that are screwing us up.
Ladies, if a guy asks you out to a particular venue that's not quite your cup o' tea... say so (then suggest something a little more agreeable to you both)! Don't just sit there resenting it the whole time. That's no good for anybody!
Guys, if she want's to go watch some goofy chick-flick, don't do the ol' "Sure, Baby, whatever you want" routine. Let her know how you feel about that kinda thing.
Then go watch the damn movie! ^_^
accomodation - communication = ruination.
Secondly,
Don't be so eager/desperate to jump into things. We all want to love and to be loved, but we've got to take it slow. I mean, which would you rather have? A slow broiled New York Strip or a microwave burrito? Y'know? Which one is gonna stick to your ribs, and which one is gonna be gone before 'Lost' is over and you miss the last half show?
Now you're really 'lost' and posting on a free online dating service. (like me ^_^)
DO NOT THROW THE 'L' WORD AROUND!
There's a difference between love and infatuation.
I'm not sure if one is just a degree of the other or what.
Maybe somebody else has some more clues
Oh yeah, guys AND gals, don't give it up so easily. You're worth the wait! =^_~=
Good luck to you all,
~K~ | |
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gb240
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Joined: 3/31/2006
Msg: 262 | |
| Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...
Posted: 3/31/2006 12:37:35 PM | ShaunaD;
The thing you must remember is that its nothing you've done! The person may have been somewhat deceiving, or, maybe just had a change of heart. They didn't know how to deal with the conundrum and didn't have the courage to tell to you face-to-face. That's a short-coming on their part and not any fault of yours. There may have been signs of that if you really examine your relationship with this person closely.
All you can do is be the best "you" possible. If someoine can't see you for what you are truly worth, then that's "their" problem.
Good luck in your search and don't give up,
Dr. Stan
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| Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...
Posted: 4/1/2006 8:08:42 AM | | oh my u sound hust like me i have the same problem they think of only them selfs and i hate fake people if your in it just for sex then tell me your just out to have a good time dont promise me things and tell me you could fall in love with me and call me ever day and out of no where i wont hear from you for 2 weeks its all about the sex. i want a man 2 be honest. i just went through the same thing with this one gut i totally let my guard down we went out a few times and always had fun he would text me all the time and thenm one day he said hed call and i didnt hear from him untill i called him and he said he didnt want no explatations from me that way he wont hurt me... men stop putting on a show be honest and if your out for a good time and being a selfish persaon then dont put on a game ... | |
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xchuck
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Joined: 8/8/2005
Msg: 265 | |
| Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...
Posted: 4/1/2006 8:26:49 AM | Some people are in love with the idea of being in love, once they realise that love comes with commitments and responsibilities to another person they can't handle it and run for the hills. In conclusion, your guy was just too immature to handle a relationship. Best of luck to you, you can do better... you are a very pretty girl | |
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| Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...
Posted: 4/1/2006 1:10:59 PM | GIRLFRIEND MOVE ON. I HAVE HAD THIS HAPPEN SO MANY TIMES IT ISNT FUNNY. IT IS VERY PAINFUL. I THINK THE MEN WHO SAY THEY LOVE US, THEN LEAVE LIKE THAT JUST DONT KNOW WHAT LOVE IS AND HAVE NEVER FELT IT OR THEY COULDNT BE SO COLD AS TO DO THIS. I THINK THEY HAVE LUST CONFUSED WITH LOVE. THEY LUST YOU TIL THE NEXT WOMAN WALKS IN THEN THEY TOTALLY FORGET YOU. JUST TRY TO MOVE ON AND NOT LET YOUR HEART BE GIVEN SO FREELY SO FAST. NEXT TIME JUST TAKE IT SLOW . ENJOY THEIR COMPANY AND TRY TO REALLY GET TO KNOW THEM FIRST. WE ALL HAVE A WALL WE CAN PUT UP NOT TO LET OUR HEARTS GET TOO CLOSE TO SOMEONE, USE IT. UNTIL U ARE SURE ANYWAY . IF THEY LOVE YOU, THEY WILL NOT DO THIS. IM SORRY FOR YOUR PAIN. BUT TIME TRUELY DOES HEAL ALL.
DONNA | |
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| Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...
Posted: 4/1/2006 1:33:19 PM | | well me for being a guy well farmboy the first thing is that he said ke loved you the first month u are toghter well thats your first mistake cuz in real life i cant see that happen love is a big word to say to someone its like the first step in a relationship right and really i think he said that so he can get into your pants and maybe he did cuz thats what you want to hear so now that he did just say he is an ***hole and hopefully he catchs herpeses that will show him stay golden stay strong darc farmboy | |
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| Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...
Posted: 4/1/2006 1:55:23 PM | | I think we've all been there, but unfortunetly women get this happening to them more frequently then men do. If this never happened, songs about heartbreak would never sell. It happens to people from all walks of life, from the rich to poor, ugly to beautiful, tall to short, thin to fat.. you get the idea. I had this happen to me not long ago, about 2 months ago. I was talking to someone on here, and we had so much in common and were both attracted to one another. We met and hit it off so well, he ended up spending the night. He was supposed to come out the following weekend, then the day he was supposed to come out, he didn't call, nor respond to my calls or text messages. Then my roommate got mad at what was going on, so she called him from her cell phone. He answered. I went online and left him a message basically calling him a jerk. He wrote back telling me something about his mom having a stroke and being in the hospital, and what an inconsiderate b*tch I was and not to talk to him again. Yeah buddy- it takes 10 seconds to write a text message "Family emergency, I'll talk to you asap" He was to busy to call me because he was in the hospital- yet he answered my friends call. A few months went by, and a couple weeks ago I saw him online and we said Hi. He said he wrote me a few weeks ago on here [yet I never got the message] asking how I was, and that he REALLY missed me, and thought we could give things another try.. anyways long story short, we decided to make plans again [I thought maybe he was telling the truth about his mom having a stroke] and when it came time for him to come out- again no reply to my calls or text messages. Then I came online and he was on here. I sent him a message asking what's going on- read/deleted. Then I wrote him one saying okay fine I'm not playing games, thanks for nothing- read/deleted. Instead of being upset or mad, I was relieved that at least I realized what an idiot he was before I started to REALLY like him again. Some people out there are just honest idiots, they can't help themselves, or they are scared of meeting someone they like for fear of it not working- whatever the reason, this happens to everyone at some point, take comfort in knowing you aren't alone! | |
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| Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...
Posted: 4/15/2006 9:49:09 PM | Hello all. I know this is a touchy subject with people, men and women, and it's really touchy with me. Unfortunately, you have a bit of hypocrecy going on. A lot of women say they want a nice, decent, kind guy. Yet, when the metal meets the meat, they end up going out with a smooth talking, player, thug of some sort. I hate to say it, but it seems if you actually try to be a decent guy, and do things the right way, some women take that as weakness, think you're a punk, and don't respect you.
That's what I've run into, and to be honest, I've seen the smooth talking, thug player, bad boy types walk off with girl after girl, while decent guys end up with jack and shit, and jack left town. I know all women don't do this, but enough do it where there's a problem. I know a lot of guys like the ones we mention, and to be honest, they do a lot better in the dating game than a LOT of decent guys too.
I grow weary of the hypocrecy and doubletalk that goes on, from men and women. There's an old saying from Texas: "First time, shame on you, second time, shame on me". In other words, if you keep dating the same types of people, you keep getting hurt, and refuse to change what you are looking for, and you still end up getting hurt, you are bringing it upon yourself. You're making our own personal hell, and it's time to grow up and own up to it. I could come up with dozens more cheesy and cheap cliches, but you all get the point. It's wrong for a man or woman to hurt a person like that. However, the solution is very simple. If you're tired of getting played and hurt by those kinds of people, here a novel Idea.....STOP DATING THEM!!!!!!!! Nothing wrong with using common sense, goes a long way  | |
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L4U
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Joined: 2/10/2006
Msg: 271 | |
| Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...
Posted: 4/16/2006 8:47:05 AM | | You could be just attracting the wrong men. Has this been a pattern? I would be wary of anyone that tells me so soon that he loves me. A month is a short time in which to get to know someone. It seems that this man may use word love too loosely. Perhaps he was in lust with you and has already lost interest. He may have come to the realization that you're not the one for him after he spent the weekend with you. I would move on...it seems that that is what he may be doing. | |
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| Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...
Posted: 4/16/2006 9:02:38 AM | guys like that live "in the moment"... so, in the moment, yes he loved you, or loved being with you... also, saying "I love you" was obviously a way for him to keep his paws on you & make sure you don't go anywhere...
sorry to be so blunt, but i know men -- atleast these kinds of "men" and honey, anyone who throws around the L word doesn't know that it has various meanings: i mean do you love your mother/father like you love icecream?
someone, anyone, who plays these kinds of games with someone is not worthy or you time: he's a small, weak, insecure jackass who sounds like he's scared of his own shadow :)
he's pathetic, do yourself a favour & buy yourself something nice :)
g | |
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qt2
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Joined: 3/2/2006
Msg: 273 | |
| Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...
Posted: 4/16/2006 10:41:49 AM | hey sorry to hear that happened to you. However if a man told me he loved me after only one month of knowing him I would have serious questions. and then after he let/made me sleep in a car that would be it.My guess is you gave him sex to soon and who wants a women who could spred her legs on the second date (really to keep ) not many.I think if you give up the goods to soon you give up the man.once you put that card out there thats what you are just a f@*k and I am sorry nothing more.All you can do now is learn the lesson and don't make that mistake again.I know attention is good but you just have to carefull and don't believe what every man says.
remember Men use love to get sex,women use sex to get love.so hopefully you will be ok and if he calls he really only wants one thing its your choice to give it up or save it for a man who will LOVE you, hes out there he may not be on this site he maybe he will. but watch out for those players because there out there you just have to be able to spot them good luck.
PS: that is a mistake alot of women make (myself included) so your not alone and your not a fool you fell for a weak moment all of us do. THAT SUCKS thing we do when we a turned on and shit. | |
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qt2
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Joined: 3/2/2006
Msg: 274 | |
| Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...
Posted: 4/16/2006 10:51:03 AM | hey sorry to hear that happened to you. However if a man told me he loved me after only one month of knowing him I would have serious questions. and then after he let/made me sleep in a car that would be it.My guess is you gave him sex to soon and who wants a women who could spred her legs on the second date (really to keep ) not many.I think if you give up the goods to soon you give up the man.once you put that card out there thats what you are just a f@*k and I am sorry nothing more.All you can do now is learn the lesson and don't make that mistake again.I know attention is good but you just have to carefull and don't believe what every man says.
remember Men use love to get sex,women use sex to get love.so hopefully you will be ok and if he calls he really only wants one thing its your choice to give it up or save it for a man who will LOVE you, hes out there he may not be on this site he maybe he will. but watch out for those players because there out there you just have to be able to spot them good luck.
PS: that is a mistake alot of women make (myself included) so your not alone and your not a fool you fell for a weak moment all of us do. THAT SUCKS things we do when we all turned on and shit. | |
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| Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...
Posted: 4/16/2006 11:10:23 AM | I have a bad habit of trying to get back at a guy when he does something like this to me. I'll usually email him saying whatever is on my mind at the time and then I end up wishing I didn't send it because those were my thoughts at the time but then I change my mind about that. There's no need of them not telling us something to let us know why they're not talking anymore. It works on me not knowing and that's when I end up sending more emails when it would've been so much easier if he would just say something! The reason I do send them is because I'm so frustrated and don't know what do to with myself, and all over him.
People can be so immature at times, it's pathetic. | |
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