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| Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...
Posted: 7/13/2008 10:10:23 AM | Considering that this is an online dating site and that it's very, VERY unlikely that he's only sending messages to you, it's quite possible that he's been trying to nurture relationships with other women as well. Maybe he's just been keeping you all hanging on until he decided which seemed more promising. If these guys just all of a sudden stop talking with you, it only means one thing: They don't want to talk with you anymore. Why? Because this is online dating and it's very easy to break ties with a person when you don't see them very often (or at all) in person. Believe me, it's not only men that do this. In fact, I would be blown away if I found out that women didn't do it at least twice as often as men do online. Why? Because they can afford to. As long as she's half-way attractive (physcially), there is always a shallow and usually perverted man who's more than willing to talk with her. Do you think that these women say "I'm sorry. I don't want to talk to you anymore. " or "I've met someone else?" Of course not. They just don't respond to the last message that you send to them even if it seemed like things were going fine between you.
BUT, in this particular case, I think that it's much to hard to tell. It's only been one day right? I think that you should just relax and see what happens. If you're as needy and clingy as you seem in this message, it could be a reason why some of the guys have become turned off. That's my take on the situation. | |
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| Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...
Posted: 7/13/2008 10:12:23 AM | I agree, that's what is so baffling - that type of man comes on strong and then as soon as he gets a response from you, he backs off - the response above, suggesting that you were too needy or clingy is the way that kind of guy likes to view it - when in fact, it's really him. If he didn't really like you, he should've backed off at the start - should've simply been honest and moved on. Find a grownup. | |
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| Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...
Posted: 7/13/2008 10:17:39 AM | Hmmm I'm a guy,this is my my perspective on your problem.....
Number one most guys will say just about anything to get what they want, even the L word. I was married for 17 years, and since my divorce I have yet to use it with another women, so there are exceptions.
Number two might be that your moving to quick....as hard as it is, slowing down the relationship process is the healthiest thing one could do(6mo minimum. If your partner has a problem with that remember there are plenty of fish out there, finding just one can bring you the happiness your looking for!!!
Don't give up, never give up.....someone is looking for you as well.... | |
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| Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...
Posted: 7/13/2008 10:47:04 AM | ATTENTION: Has anyone noticed, OP is gone from this site long time.
She started the threat back in 2005, almost three years ago. I don't think her question would be valid any longer, and hopefully by now she is in loving and caring relationship.
La Jaconde
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| Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...
Posted: 7/13/2008 11:04:29 AM | Yes, its a horrible feeling. There could be many reasons and he's not playing games.
It could be that all of a sudden other things in his life, work, home family, are demanding his attention. Guys, as most women don't seam to realize, don't multi-task well, they can only deal with one thing at a time. For many of us, getting just one thing done a day is an achievement. Why do you think that DayTimers and books like "Getting Things Done" and time organizer software and tools like the Palm Pilot are so popular with guys. Its not 'cos they are all geeks! Why do you think executives have secretaries to arrange their schedules?
The book I'd recommend is actually the "Venus and Mars". It may be trite in many ways but the basics about that women need to talk and men need to retreat into their 'cave' (which these days might be a computer!), has some truths.
The nice thing about e-mail is that its not like the telephone. You don't have to respond "in real time". You can e-mail him a gently, but please NON VERBAL, reminder that you enjoyed his company. As I said, men and women don't communicate in the same way.
However is guys ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS do this to you regardless of what's going on in their lives there may bea reason that has nothing to do with the guys. | |
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| Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...
Posted: 7/13/2008 11:07:21 AM | Men do it all the time, there are so many single ladies online, they dont need to explain themselves, they pick a new one and off they go.
And the saying I love you it means nothing to them, its a throw away comment - so girls be warned - I love you = this week or tonight = as long as I can get what I want then I am off to the next one  It the same as going to the alter with them, they forget the vows as soon as they get to the bar, pmsl.
Watch out guys we are learning your code   | |
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| Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...
Posted: 7/13/2008 11:11:31 AM | i had that done to me recently to, after three weekends together and mid week visits we hit it off like iv never had it before both very happy bouncing off eachother, he would say he needs to come to see me because he missed me and cant wait till the weekend???hated chatting online and the phone he wanted to see me face to face, hold me so tight he never wanted to let go, yeh it was what i thought love again at long last,laughter funfilled my days and even met his young son whom he brought here to my home???? i was heart broken when he just texed and said he cant do it anymore, i cant work out either how you can have such strong feelings for some one then just throw them to one side like you didnt excist. IT SUCKS!!!!!! and guys think we woman are complicated???????  | |
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| Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...
Posted: 7/13/2008 11:30:15 AM |
Why do guys do this to me???
Quit whining. You did this to yourself by:
1./ Putting out.
2./ Not putting out.
WTF !!!!!!!!
Because they are nothing but bottom feeding, scum sucking pigs and there are plenty more fish in the sea.
must be something in the water today.......... | |
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| Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...
Posted: 7/13/2008 11:33:21 AM | HE MADE YOU SLEEP IN A CAR? I have a Newsflash for you my dear! No one makes you do anything! You said he hinted for you to go home yet you chose to stay and sleep in your car! People Can Only Do To You What YOU Allow Them To Do!
You also said he liked to play games and scare you? This is not only a sign that he does not truly care for you it should have been a BIG RED FLAG telling you that there is something seriously wrong with the guy and that you needed to run! Another issue is that you stated that he liked your looks but you had little in common but neither of you cared about that... this says that the relationship is based purely on physical attraction and chances are very slim that people who have nothing in common besides physical attraction will have a chance at a long term relationship! Looks change as you age and if two people have no common interests then what do you really have? Good relationships are built on a solid foundation of friendship, trust and love as well as attraction! Stop Crying.. Put On Your Big Girl Panties... Go To a CODA meeting and try to make better choices and not ignore all the signs next time around! | |
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| Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...
Posted: 7/13/2008 11:35:39 AM | You will drive yourself crazy trying to figure out why someone else treats you badly.
In your case, any one who treats you like this guy has doesn't deserve a second thought. No matter if he is just confused...yah right, scared, playing hard to get, joking with you......IT ISN"T mature, funny or cute and hopefully you have enough self-worth that you wouldn't want him back even if he came crawling on all fours. I think you need to read "Why Men Love B_____s" and work on your self-esteem before you look for anyone else. Unfortunately, guys like the one you ran into feed their egos off of gals with low self-esteem because they know you will let them walk all over you. You deserve better. | |
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| Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...
Posted: 7/13/2008 11:58:03 AM | I have been through something very similar. I think in a way it sort of goes with the territory. Meeting people online is loaded with potential downfalls that don't exist (as much) offline. For one, we are all being messaged on a daily basis by new members, so I think it makes it hard for people to focus on just one person.
I think if you are at the stage of "i love you", you should probably have had a discussion about being exclusive and getting off the dating site. One month is probably too soon to know each other well enough for that.
The other thing is that you hadn't known him long enough to know what kind of emotional baggage he may have been bringing into the relationship. In my case, I had to read between the lines for clues about why he would just turn like that. Not only is there usually an issue with commitment and the "challenge" for guys, but also sometimes they react in fear. The guy who did that to me was unable to deal with conflict, even within a normal and healthy range in a relationship, and had commented before about how his ex had "anger issues". It wasn't until he blew me off that I realized he was probably bringing a lot of those fears of dealing with a "psycho" wife into our relationship and tranferring them onto me, even though I wasn't at all that way.
I know it hurts, but you'll feel better soon. Just focus on you for a while.
Good Luck! | |
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| Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...
Posted: 7/13/2008 12:22:27 PM | | I am really sorry this happened to you . I think that it is good to remember that sometimes infatuation mixed with homones feels like love but it truly is not . Don't beat yourself up for being affectionate and nuturing to someone it just proves that you are human and your capable of these things but the next time wait till you are absolutely sure that this person wants to have a real relationship with you AND THAT THEY DESERVE YOU! Trust your gut #1 and always be true to your own heart! | |
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| Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...
Posted: 7/13/2008 12:50:48 PM | Don't be too crazy about your feeling like me I have experienced how you feel but just think you're not the only one in his life maybe he had met a few or more and doing things the same as what he had done to you to make believe he cares but the truth is just playing games ...that's the way it is ...be strong and think that he's not the only one you can still find better than him show that guy ..he's nothing to you what he did was to play you off thinking you really care much so he 's very proud of himself that you're crazy about him so really the best thing is to MOVE ON 'coz that's better for you and be sure to be careful not to get touched whatever you feel with those nonsense words to fool your feelings .... be careful ok?  | |
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| Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...
Posted: 7/13/2008 12:54:48 PM | | dont get to upset, ive had it done, went out 4 lovely meal, loads txts, phone calls, then just went dead. dont no whats up with folk on these sites, thort it was bout meeting sum 1, doesnt seem many genuine ones to me. im on another site and its same on there. get together with ur girly mates n go have a good boogie. im beginning to think we shudnt try look for love to happen, it will just happen. chin up, dare say well cum across it again x | |
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| Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...
Posted: 7/13/2008 12:59:19 PM | | to be in love with some one takes time ,i think IF some one says he /she loves you very soon after meeting you then its not true love ,but just a nice feeling towards you .if some one falls in love very soon then of course they fall out of love soon ,so the next time try & wait for true love ,it takes time ,but at the end its worth it :-)) | |
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| Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...
Posted: 7/13/2008 2:56:41 PM | dude, the same thing happened to me not too long ago...I mean, he didn't say "i love you" after a month...but we like...were moving towards comfy bf/gf territory and all of a sudden he was all "Yeah, I think we should put the brakes on this cus i might be moving ...and stuf...um...yah..."
boyz are so stupid. Don't ever answer his texts, emails or phone calls. If you see him at a bar a month from now pretend you don't know him.
Delete all photos and phone numbers, emails, texts, etc...delete him from msn and facebook.
He doesn't deserve your pain. Trust me. You're so much better off without him. | |
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| Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...
Posted: 7/13/2008 3:19:22 PM | | u now what ive been there done that..listening to this stuff makes me think how sad, weak and needy u r...if he doesnt want u he doesnt want u regardless of his reason..why would u want to b with sumone who causes u so much pain and heartache?? treats u like a peice of shit and yes keeps u hanging there like a fish!!! Ju s in case his new love interest doesnt work out and he can come back 2 u as he nows u will b waiting with open arms...ive heard it all b4 im too young, i got scared, its the wrong time, i love u but i cant, WHATEVER!! its all jus a load of shit and makes them a gutless person and not worthy of ur time..... I can say all this and wish sumone had of woke me up...I let my ex do that crap for 4years....He new exactly what he was doin and still does!! but i justified his behavior with all the reasons under the sun...but we feel in love the minute we meet..well boo hoo...how can i love n want to be with sum1 who treats another like that? thats not what i can love...Thats a guy thinking with his****.**** whipped mayb?? Us girls need 2 harden up..live urlife 4 urself and if a great guy comes along then hes urs 2 keep! if he makes u shead a tear get rid of him, as im sure hes not at home wondering if ur gunna call and loosing sllep over it.... those type rnt worth it,only stop u from meeting the one... Live 4 urself girls till ur prince finds u n ur treated how u want to b...and if it doesnt happen well buy a vibrator.... | |
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