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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?      Home login  
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 WriterGuy_KC
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 476
Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...Page 20 of 22    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22)
It's not just guys...women do this to me all the time, and always have.
 HvnBlsd
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 477
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Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...
Posted: 7/13/2008 8:35:05 PM

the trick is to think like a man... then play them at their own game... they hate it.

No, the problem is that women view it AS A GAME, when it's not. Quit treating it like a game, and it will be a whole lot less confusing.


Oh it's a game alright. The second grade kind. Adults on the other hand .........communicate. True adults can stand up and say what needs to be said. People that play modern-day Houdini's are clearly not acting like adults.


I just maintain my confidence in "what goes around, comes around"....and it never fails to come true.
 nicegirl4love
Joined: 10/26/2007
Msg: 478
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Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...
Posted: 7/13/2008 8:58:05 PM
hmmm if it was a one time thing, I'd call the guy a tool and be done with it -- but, your post says "why do guys ALWAYS do this to me" The only common denominator here is you, right? Maybe you're just picking the same type of guy over and over but expecting a different and better result -- probably won't happen.

Maybe next time try a totally different dude?! Can't be any worse than what's already happening, and who knows??? maybe he'll turn out to be amazing and dreamy!!! yay!!!
 redheadlady4
Joined: 11/19/2005
Msg: 479
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Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...
Posted: 7/13/2008 9:13:15 PM
Gigimo???? Who wrote that book you mention?? I cant find it online anywhere..help???
 redsox20
Joined: 1/1/2008
Msg: 480
Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...
Posted: 7/13/2008 9:18:40 PM
This seems to happen to me all the time too. And I can't figure out why, pardon my language to men who read this..

But most of them I have met are complete ***hole..

Goodluck..
 Mistik_Woman
Joined: 2/28/2008
Msg: 481
Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...
Posted: 7/13/2008 9:18:55 PM
I think the problem is on our parts, maybe we should start being a little more with-holding. Stop giving into them so soon, no matter how much we want it ourselves, if they are truely interested they will keep coming back . If not oh well ,too bad, so sad.
I'm thinking maybe going to a pay as you go site might be better, at least the guys there might be a little more HONEST about what they are looking for. And leave these guys the kind of women who really rock thier boats. Ones who want to play the games and share thier wares with everyone they meet. This site because it is free is like one BIG CANDY STORE, and these boy's won't settle till there is nothing else to taste. No matter how adament they are that they are one of the honest ones. There is truth to the saying YOU GET WHAT YOU PAY FOR. So because it is free we get guys not woth the time of day. And you know , I bet not one of them would pay the price of a profile on a pay as you go account on another site. Because here they get it all for free. So lets open our eyes and let them know we won't take it anymore, and if you don't want to stand your ground you too will get what you pay for, nothing but heartache.....
 HowRad
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 482
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Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...
Posted: 7/13/2008 9:31:41 PM
I think your answer could very well be right, or.... perhaps the guy didnt feel like it was a two way street...And I have been there before...beware of the type with the big come on and no follow up, all smiles to get whatever they want from you, and not a care in the world about you...after all...its all about them!!! If thats the case I say good for him, its better than fighting about it and all the crappy drama some woman just live for..Im over all that B.S. Either you like someone or you dont. Dont play frigin games! And when its over, bow out gracefully, but definitely, and start fishing again!!!
 HowRad
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 483
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Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...
Posted: 7/13/2008 9:35:42 PM
Another woman equating love with money, he doesnt spend that much to get me, I shouldnt give in la la la . Please go to the paysite! youll get what they pay for and so will they, goldbrickers! LOL!
 tuttivictoria
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 484
Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...
Posted: 7/13/2008 9:59:30 PM
Hello,

Something similiar to this happened to my close friend, but she was engaged and lived with a man. Except he hired a non english speaking whore from Ensenada to take care of him because he had an accident, and was having an affair with her. He just said he didn't love my friend anymore, and there were so many things he didn't like about her. And that he was so sad that he was much happier with this woman who didn't speak english, the whore didn't speak english. She couldn't argue or question his bizaare actions, so he could always be right. And he had to be right all of the time. So this man loved her in his abusive way for four years, bought her a huge ring.... and then brought this woman in, and dumped my friend like she was trash. My girlfriend was never able to get the rest of her things out of that house, she only had 30 minutes to gather her things and get out. That is all he gave her. And listen to this ladies...... Please listen to this men......if a person is so casual with your heart, do you think they care about giving you a disease. Please protect yourself out there......don't assume anything people
 scotttheartist
Joined: 6/20/2008
Msg: 485
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Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...
Posted: 7/13/2008 10:23:53 PM
It's simple, it's out of fear. Many people fear getting too close, men and women. They can only handle so much closeness, intimacy, affection. Even with sex they can only take it so far and then a relationship requires you to be both strong and vulnerable and that takes a kind of courage many people don't have. Even though everyone wants love and affection, fear can get in the way and if they aren't emotionally strong and centered they'll just walk away from it all.
 sincerenca
Joined: 12/18/2007
Msg: 486
Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...
Posted: 7/13/2008 10:48:13 PM
As much as you may not want to hear this, here goes:
If I guy is telling you he loves you after only knowing you a month, he's lying. He is just trying to get sex. If you gave it to him, he got what he wanted and he has moved on to the next conquest. In other words, you have been used and dumped. It is as simple as that. I suggest you do not get emotionally attached to anyone you have only known a month. Delay sex at least long enough to see if he quickly moves on, even if you feel you have to offer pay for your own dinner A guy that is only looking for sex will move on fairly quickly if he doesn't get it soon because he won't want to waste time on you. If a man is truly interested in YOU and not what he can get from you, he will be intrigued, get to know you, have patience and value you as prize worth waiting for.
Chalk it up as experience, learn from it and move on. Trust me you will survive, and you will get over it. One day you won't even remember this guy's name. Remember this little saying with regards to change: "If you keep doing what you did, you'll keep getting what you got" Next time, go about it a different way.
 cohutta
Joined: 6/20/2008
Msg: 487
Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...
Posted: 7/14/2008 7:31:09 PM
#1 your not dealing with a man.
#2 most guys think if they ignore you ,you will feel more drawn to them(which for some reason works in some cases.
#3 don't play the game (flip the script) don't call him or give him any time.
#4 most guys don't like a clingy type of gal not saying you are but if so you should learn to get what you need on your own and let relationships be a pleasant bonus.
#5 he never really loved you in the first place (i'll bet he came on fast and left in the same fashion.BEWARE THE FAST GUY.
 Keyboard_Kowgirl
Joined: 6/14/2008
Msg: 488
Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...
Posted: 7/14/2008 9:23:29 PM
I had it happen to me!
Something must be said... Something that I've been thinking for almost a year....
I've been on POF trying to find a guy, unsuccessfully, I might add, and have become increasingly lonely, and depressed.

I had been trying to elicit some sort of reaction to my blog, that has never come, and now, I couldn't even try to remotely care less.
I have written on here, taken posts off, cancelled my POF account, done everything short of come straight out, and say whats on my mind, so now, this is it. No turning back now!

I've been in relationships where I've tricked myself, and the man in question into believing that I could, or do love him, with gestures of kindness, and of support. I've done this in the hopes that something would spark someday, and I WOULD become madly in love,'at some point'. I broke hearts, and wrote off terrific friendships, because I didn't want to have just a 'friend' for a partner, I wanted, and still want the ever illusive luuuurve that encompasses everything fantastic in one neatly tied package.

I want the terrific sex, the fun, and excitement of being with someone who respects me, and cares about me as much as himself, who will treat me like a princess. This has yet to happen.
Instead, I have lowered myself over the last year to becoming the girl in the 'Friends With Benefits' Category. In doing this, I have lowered myself to the point of being there to sexually gratify a man with serious commitment issues, and anger management problems. Although he's a nice guy. Enough said about that!

I spend each day wondering when this ever elusive 'Luuurve'will come.
Will I be too old to have a child with him?
If I do, will he leave me in a couple years time, because something 'fresh' is always more fun?
Should I just go for a man who's 'fixed'? And pass on children?
Why does it seem that the nice girls are always last?

Here is my story.
I was seeing this guy, and was truly, completely in love with him, and made the foolish mistake in believing that he could be the right one for me.
I told him I loved him on our third night together. I truly was.

My father was having health issues, and I started stressing about losing him. I was going to school so my stress was high from that, and I was trying to make my finances last through school, so I wouldn't have to work and have work interfere in my schooling. The man was unemployed, so I ended up spending money that I couldn't really afford to help him out. I figure it comes back when you are desperate yourself with 'friends'.

I can't make any assertions that our three month relationship was star bursts and moonbeams, because it wasn't. It was your standard, 'this is the worst possible timing', sorta things.

He stopped calling me for a few weeks, When I called him, it would go to voicemail. I hated that he and and his female room mate might be listening to my messages chatting about, "That poor girl", so I stopped calling him. I'd e-mail, get a very quippic reply, and wondered, 'WTF?!'.
His room mate dumped her boyfriend at the same time, the same way. Stopped calling, emailing, etc. I thought I was getting the shaft too, so understandably, I was hurt. Terribly hurt at being given the shaft in such a cold way left me angry, defensive, and my last few messages to him were the stuff of a truly scorned woman.

Then, I was at my girlfriends place, and she was playing on my laptop, and I was venting to her about my feelings, etc...she wanted to know his blog address, when I told her that was the only way I knew he was alive. She started to type it, and the page auto-completed in my browser, and the page for his blog was in memory, because he had set it to automatically save his settings. She asked me if the button that says delete this blog would delete his blog, and I told her yes. She suggested we do it. In the mood I was in, I was so confused, but feeling more angry than anything.

I said OK. It was gone in seconds. Then he e-mailed me the following day, asking me if I had anything to do with it being deleted and I said no. Well, I wasn't, but I did feel responsible and I hated it, but he was the one who hadn't been open with me for three weeks...I later apologized to him after a few months because I still felt terrible, and still missed him. I had been vindictive here on my blog, (my own personal venting outlet)and wrote about him being an ***hole, and just went off for weeks writing about how guys let girls down.I wanted some reaction. Something. Anything!

His e-mail reply to my apology was sharp."we all tend to blame others at some point." it reeked of vindictiveness. I ignored him from that point forward, and deleted him from my facebook list, but left my facebook profile open so that he'd be able to see all the fun stuff I'd been up to.

I spent 4 months thinking about how I deleted his blog, how we could have had something amazing, and was absolutely miserable. For the first time in my life, I understood what it is like to have a broken heart. Girls nights out became more frequent, but always with a camera. I wanted my 'happy' pictures to be up on facebook, for him to see, and make him think about his stupidity in letting me go.

I couldn't date anyone seriously. Once your heart is broken, you become cold to starting again right away, so instead, opted for a FWB situation where I was seeing a true pinhead. BUT AT LEAST HE CALLED!

Here's the thing... I spent those months obsessing about him getting into a new relationship, him being over me, and I stalked HIS profile. Everyday for months. I couldn't believe that he'd just go on, just like that! I had a tattoo done, hoping that it would help me find closure, that I'd have his symbolism on my body as a reminder to my heart, of what to do if I am ever faced with the situation again. It has done the opposite... Made me wonder why he didn't feel the same, and made me feel insecure, and fragile.

I am not fragile. I am strong, damn it, but yet, every day that tattoo has been a reminder of my stupidity. Did I really tell him on our third night that I love him? Was that me? It had to have been my retarded twin, or something!

Because, the girl who can take care of her family for years, cooking, cleaning, sewing, nursing wounds, working, providing, and loving unconditionally wouldn't do the things I have done. Obsessing over a man who is clearly emotionally incompetent.

On this note, I have spent the last year getting over him, and wondering what the hell is wrong with ME! Thinking that I must not be good enough, not pretty enough, talented enough, rich enough, etc. to warrant some attention, and a little love. I second guess my qualities every day. Because some days, I'm like,"I am a terrific catch, wtf"!

So, when he asked to be on my friends list on Facebook again after several months, I thought he may try to redeem himself. We may have another chance! My heart sank, and I was heartsick for weeks, waiting for him to write me to get together and talk in person. I'd told him to wait a year in an e-mail comment I sent him when we were breaking up. The timing was off for us, I thought. I'd meet him at the airport and we'd start again in a year. May 20Th.That would give him time to get over his neurosis, and for myself to finish school, and become financially secure. I went to the airport, and wandered aimlessly for the entire day.

It wasn't until the sun started setting that day, that I realized my foolishness in going there, and believing that he'd be there.

His relationship status changed to reflect a new girl, maybe a week later. Sick, and completely love torn, I decided to delete him from my life once and for all.Then, when he asked to be on my friends list again, I decided to accept it as fate. This is my curse, this is my lesson, this is my life...

I met a man, and fell for him too fast, and far too hard. He is VERY kind, funny, intelligent, a great conversationalist, amusing, really good in bed, fun.....clingy, neurotic, energy draining, sneaky, a liar, a cheater, terrible with money, selfish, self absorbed, immature, breaks girls hearts without remorse. He has great intelligence and very little useful common sense, but I love him anyway...

Even now.

It's been a year, and I still can't seem to get over him.
SO, I am on here in the hopes of finding a man who WILL be better, and trust me, this will not be a hard feat!
At least I finally got my apology.
 girl1234
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 489
Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...
Posted: 7/14/2008 9:37:07 PM
Its been one day? Mabye hes busy? If its happening all the time then its probably something u are creating, even unconsciously, why is it that I always get a man for just sex and little else? But then they continue to pursue me for long periods of time? Cause its what I want, and I can own that. HAHA...either way you could just be into guys who are gonna screw ya over.
 flexei
Joined: 10/29/2007
Msg: 490
Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...
Posted: 7/14/2008 10:39:52 PM
If its just one day, let it go by. If this happens on a regular base DUMP HIM !! As far as why this happens a lot to you? My opinion? Men love to treat women like dirt, it gives them a high. Maybe it makes their little****feel bigger? hahaha.
 Debster48
Joined: 6/25/2008
Msg: 491
Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...
Posted: 7/15/2008 1:23:46 PM
Hi Shauna, I just want to say that some guys (most of them) like to have control over the woman they are with and if they don't get it, things start going wrong. I left a 25 year marriage for this man that I thought loved me with all his heart, we even bought a house together. I was with him for 2 years and 5 months and on May 23, 2008, I new something was going to happen, I just felt it, so he broke off with me, told me to get out of my own house, he was a monster, I fell and broke my leg and for 4 hours he left me on the floor, I couldn't move and he was not going to help in any way. I cannot repeat what he said, but believe me it wasn't nice. So after 4 hours I was able to move myself to the phone and call 911 myself while he was in the living room. I was in the hospital for one week and 2 days, I now live with my daughter right now, I have a lawyer, and I just found myself a nice beautiful appartment for Aug 1st, 2008, you see the problem with me and him was he wanted to come and go as he pleased, he was alone for 17 years and now I know why, he was vilant, I was emotionally abused, physically abused, and now he is getting everything he wants, what happened is he did not have control over me anymore and he couldn't handle that. But it's to bad that it took 2 years and 5 months out of my life with this guy, you see I would of done anything for him, but he would not for me, he should of told me this from the very beginning when he asked me to move in with him in Dec 2005. I miss my house, my garden, every decoration and renovation that I did, but I have to realize that this is only material. But I believe in the saying what goes around comes around. So don't let this guy get to you Shauna, show him you are happy don't let him know or see that he got to you, cause then he would still have the upper hand. Keep your head up high girl, and keep looking on this site, what do you think I'm here for lol.
 GalaxyKing
Joined: 7/4/2008
Msg: 492
Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...
Posted: 7/15/2008 1:33:50 PM
What most people forget to understand is there is a difference between real love and infatuation(puppy love) that has always been associated as one. You can't just up and love someone or that love at first sight thing. Eve in the garden was fooled by looking at the fruit because it looked good to eat. Pretty much goes with looking at people and allowing your eyes to do all the thinking(guys think a little lower). If you really want to have someone love you then at least allow some time to pass and see if they are for real.
 kinzeUK
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 493
Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...
Posted: 7/15/2008 1:46:10 PM
Well believe you me, hun......it most definately works the same way for some of us guys :(

I am convinced sometimes that I must have done something pretty rotten in a past life coz it's no exaggeration to say that I have what anyone could politely call 'bad luck' with you fairer sexes

Lemme put it another way......I've managed to chalk up a 5 week relationship with someone (strangely enough off an internet site but this time a general profile one rather than a dating one) back in 2002. And errr that's it! So some two decades have gone past since I actually had a g/f to speak of and in that time the few dates I've had and the 2 or 3 'nearly's' that have come my way have all ended up being if not always disastrous, certainly not all that positive either.

But I live in hope as I know a lot of you out there do - has to turn around at some point for us lot doesn't it?!

 vivaciousvixen2
Joined: 3/1/2008
Msg: 494
Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...
Posted: 7/15/2008 1:47:21 PM
i look back on the last person that i met and reviewed all of the things that he said. like we only talked on the phone two days. we never even talked just everything.... but there is something about me...........i keep all e-mails dates times caller id-s letters so ........my HOUSEKEEPING on new relationships is overly accurate. So OP i understand what you are saying. because i reviewed every comment that was said to me. and 1 1/2 months ago to 2 months ago this man was soooooooooooooo nice to me
then he just turned. i wasn't imagining it. i have the letters to prove it.
actually, love it when i go to court i have a 3 backed up e-mail server copies of 5000 e-mails from my ex husband LEGAL PROOF. I LET HIS LAWYER KNOW. And many are printed and READY to GO!
Not to waste your time or mine any more then these uncaring mean losers have wasted it. They are sniffing other p u s cy. So while you and i have invested our hearts, they are sniffin' dirty smelly unwashed scabied dogs.

SORRY. CRY. Find a Real Man. Where when you keep memories, you can look back on them fondly, not with disgust of who else they are trying to do behind your honest sincere heart and soul. Where there is a future.....a present and a history...........but just for both you and him.
He is putrid trash
 kinzeUK
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 495
Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...
Posted: 7/15/2008 1:50:05 PM
God I wished you lived near me!

I think I am in the wrong country I swear! The amount of times I read posts like this from truly lovely sounding AND looking ladies such as yourself, I can't tell you :)

Could do with swapping a few of these ladies around my way for some of you american/canadian gals then I'd be spoilt for choice!

I think!

Good luck hunny in your search too

*hugs xxx
 kinzeUK
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 496
Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...
Posted: 7/15/2008 1:52:47 PM
Btw, my last post was aimed at keyboard kowgirl I think her moniker is?

lol

:)
 DreamDancer44
Joined: 2/19/2008
Msg: 497
Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...
Posted: 7/15/2008 2:27:20 PM
This is such an old thread and there are so many replies but you can add me to the list. Throughout my many years of dating I've come across way too many guys who "love you so much" then a minute later it's completely changed. I do know through the stories of male friends that some females do this too. People like that are such a waste of time. Why do they bother? Too bad we can't leave a label on them for the next person to be warned. I don't care what their reasons are I wouldn't want to date a guy who has done that to anybody.
 HappyHarry99
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 498
Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...
Posted: 7/15/2008 4:01:14 PM
if he is not giving you attention at least every second day he probably has someone else in his life, sorry to say.
 steelcowboy1959
Joined: 9/1/2006
Msg: 499
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Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...
Posted: 7/15/2008 8:01:54 PM
I think the guys that are doing this to you are married to the girls that keep doing this to me!
 indehills
Joined: 2/23/2008
Msg: 500
Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...
Posted: 7/15/2008 8:26:28 PM
Here's an even more important question: Discussing a subject is one thing, but why are there still people specifically replying to the OP when the thread was started 3 1/2 years ago, and the OP is long gone?
Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...