| Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...
Posted: 1/7/2006 7:13:18 AM | | Here's a suggestion from a guy. Don't have sex with him till he has put a wedding ring on your finger on your wedding night. Dating for men is like climbing a mountain. If we climb the mountain to fast and dont stop and enjoy the view when we get to the top for some reason we think like ok great that was fun, and then looking for another mountain. But if i climb it slowly well take the time to appreaciate "all" the good qualities of the mountain so when i get to the top , ill want to stay longer and enjoy the view alot longer heck i might even want to live there. Maybe not a good explanation. Hope it helps. | |
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| Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...
Posted: 1/8/2006 8:03:13 AM | Shauna I don't know, but I for sure know how you feel. I was dating this guy for two months, we had fun together and was into the same things. He just stopped calling me and didn't give me any explanation. Yes it hurts and it make us feel so down about ourselves and some men wonder why we don't have much confidence huh. I am beginning to understand why so many women these days are turning to other women haha.
But forget about the loser, like I did. Goodluck hunny | |
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| Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...
Posted: 1/8/2006 11:14:25 AM | | I agree avoid looks. What is more important is whats inside the man. Becareful though and dont give into him easily. Thats what I did. I fell IN love with a guy and he said he fell IN love with me. He told me he wanted to marry me and even started planning things for our future together. He bought me a promise ring and then decided all of a sudden he didnt love me anymore. He promised me a lot of things and I believed most of them. So my advice to you is look for a guy whose great on the inside and dont believe them when they say that they are totally different from all men. 99% of the time its not true. Take your time to get to know him and dont tell him everything about you right away. Tell him some stuff gradually instead of telling him stuff all at once especially if you find out your IN love with him still keep telling him stuff gradually. Dont tell him all your secrets let it progress throughout the year. Then after a year if you wanna tell him the rest it might be ok just be careful. I dont want anyone to hurt like I do. | |
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cb307
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Joined: 12/11/2005
Msg: 130 | |
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| Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...
Posted: 1/8/2006 2:08:16 PM | Some guys think with one head more then the other (the little guy down below) and think they want more but when it starts to happen they get cold feet and do not..
then they retract..want to be away from you..need space and then the relationship will ultimately fall apart. No relationship succeeds with ample amounts of space..how the hell would you ever get to know one another?
It is a horrible feeling when you feel taken advantage of..or made to feel so much then have your heart torn out. You have to risk in love to know when you meet someone you truly desire..that it is okay! Just listen to your heart..not others! | |
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| Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...
Posted: 1/8/2006 9:44:29 PM | And here I thought this happens to only my friend and I! I'm kind of surprised and happy at the same time that it's not happening to just us. We thought something was wrong with the both of us. We thought it's because we have such bad luck and a magnet for things like this happening to us. To the guy who originally said because maybe you or women in general or too needy when they stop talking to us. Well, as a woman myself I do have to admit (am guilty sometimes) that may be the case sometimes....but definitely not all the time! Even if that was the reason (if you really loved her you wouldn't be feeling that way), why don't you men have the balls to at least write, text or even call and tell us that they don't want to talk to us anymore or you're no longer interested in us instead of totally ignoring us just like that. That is what all of us women WILL NEVER and CAN NEVER understand! If the reason you guys are doing it is because you don't want to hurt our feelings then...............what the heck do you think you men are doing by totally ignoring us just like that?! Is that move suppose to make us feel much better??? Believe me, I'm sure most of us women rather be hurt by the truth than a lie or even by ignoring us and play the disappearing act. At least with whatever reasons or excuses you men give us for not wanting to talk to us anymore we then at least know and can try to move on instead of just being ignored for no reasons at all. That is much better than making us wonder why and what did we say or do wrong? And guys, NEVER say what you don't really mean...especially the "I love you." Usually when women say we love you, SURPRISE!.....we really do love you not because we're trying to get into your pants! It just kills me how easily men can say that and the next thing you know he treats you like crap! Men need to understand that women are more emotional and sensitive than men, so please don't play with our feelings and emotions like that. If you're guys are ever in the mood to play something and want to hurt someone go play some kind of violent video games or something.  | |
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| Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...
Posted: 1/10/2006 6:02:07 AM | Shuana, you have leared a valuable lesson. Quick "love" may happen but its more of a fairytale.The reality is to say the words for the moment to enhance the moment. Quick love simply is most often fleeting and most often not real. ITs more about the moment and sex than anything else.Unfortunately most get them confused because they have sex even quicker. Wait on the sex,develop the RELATIONSHIP and you will have a MUCH MUCH better chance at developing something REAL. Better to learn this at 22 than to be foolish enough to go through it at 32 or worse 42. At 22 is simply youthful mistaken judgement, at 32,42,52 it seems to be more mistaken judgement due to desperation JK
Just be mindful to develop a REAL relationship long before having sex and instead of misfortune you'll be much more likely to experience fortune.
Its not really a male/female thing...its a common sense/wisdom thing.
Ok..sorry, I read your op but not some of your later commnets.....HE MADE YOU SLEEP IN THE CAR?!? That was NOT a CLUE.......it was a SLAP! I'm sorry, the issue is about SELF- Esteem.......if YOU don't VALUE and LOVE yourself..........its hard to see the immitators for what they are. You've GOT to EXPECT ....no....REQUIRE MORE! Don't expect someone to give you what you don't give yourself. My advice is to take time off from dating and date YOU. Pamper YOU! Learn to LOVE YOURSELF the way you want and need to be loved. Find out what you REALLY want in a mate and then ONLY look for those qualities. When you Do begin to date,ASK questions EARLY and OFTEN. Develop a REAL RELATIONSHIP long (monthS)BEFORE having sex. I wish you well. | |
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| Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...
Posted: 1/10/2006 11:39:35 AM | The very same thing happened to me not very long ago, and yes, it is a horrible feeling. I don't get it either. It feels like you are not acceptable even though you are told you are. If someone truly, unconditionally loves you, distance, time, or circumstances don't make any difference. The ignoring only reinforces the feelings of inadequecy and it's awful and hard to overcome. I am always amazed when someone lies to me and always want to believe the best about someone and thought I was a good judge of character, but find that I am probably the very worst judge, because otherwise, why would I have these kind of experiences. Was told I was more beautiful than my pictures, everything was fine, then ZAP...GONE...
Maybe there are really sharks out here with the nice fish~~! I KNOW in my heart of hearts that I am a good person, and shouldn't be so honest, that is probably a lot of it too.Sorry guys, but some of you can be VERY CRUEL to women. When a relationship has gone that far, we do deserve some kind of answer, at the VERY LEAST! | |
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Daley
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Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 137 | |
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| Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...
Posted: 1/12/2006 9:53:32 AM | | One thing we forget as women is that men need time alone to think their problems out or in your case his feelings out. There is a book named "Men are from Mars". We really are different. As women we talk our feelings out, men retreat, it might be to the tv or to their fishing hole its somewhere, where we are not allowed to go. If he loves you he will be back, give him a little space, he will love you more for it. And if he is just brushing you off by not telling you his true feelings, he really is not worth it. Move on. | |
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| Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...
Posted: 1/12/2006 2:16:58 PM | i just recently had this happen as well, on a thursday he tells me he loves me and thanked me for my patience (he had a couple probs.) he was trying to get over, and i was there to try to support him emotionally so i thought, guess not....the next day, he decides, i just dont understand him, and dont know him and so he slowed down, til eventually he cut me off completely not only that got my children attached to him, he was absolutely great, called me constantly, also said i was beautiful, and we had so much in common it was almost like we were the same person..i know it was only about a month yeah i know i know but it felt right.....it was really wonderful then my world crashed down....well, then i decided to call one day to see how he was doing, he got hateful with me like he was just it....but i have to admit i put him on a pedestal...and did everything for him, because i really cared for him and im just that way....guess im a pushover.....anyway, he tells me he has a new g/f now and just wanted me out of his life......this was coming from someone who also said for 2 weeks that he wasnt sure if he was ready for a relationship that he was maybe a little to emotionally unstable....what a crock of sh^t.....i just cant believe someone could be so cruel, and not care.....the sad thing is, i KNOW we were getting close, i know this, so why did he do this to me? it sux....guess ppl dont want real relationships anymore now a days,and im just back in the dating game from being married for over 17 years and seperated over 8 months ago, and things really changed since i was a teen dating lol.....just wish i could find someone to love and to love me, really miss that alot......ok now im just going on babbling sorry.....stepping down from the soap box now and trying to not feel sorry for myself....good luck
Sandra | |
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| Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...
Posted: 1/16/2006 11:24:41 AM | | Sounds like u women have met some very selfish guys that acted like they wanted things in ur best interest. I have had women that have liked me and vice versa and it just didnt work out. What i did was make an online sister:))))))))))), and those friendships turned out to be the best ones even though it ended up not being romantic. People have to care about each others feelings or else this is how many singles develop baggage. | |
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| Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...
Posted: 1/16/2006 1:39:39 PM | | this is all too familiar!!......u asked how can someone love someone oneday and then just completley ignore them the next....well its because he really didnt love u. as hard as this is to except its true. and it took me a long time to learn this lesson myself. anyone can say they love u but that doesnt mean they really do. love comes in all shapes and sizes and nobody can really say how long it takes to fall in love with someone but i truely believe love is a process and it takes years to really love someone , i mean really love them! to fall so deeply in love with all their good and bad qualitys. this takes time..im sure u can be on the way to love in a month, but u cant possibly know someone well enough to love them inside and out...completley.thats why u hear people who have been married for 40yrs say they fall more in love with their mate alittle more eachday. we never really know a person totally..we r always learning. thats part of relationship building. i think too many people are in love with the idea of being in love so the words just come too easy. | |
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| Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...
Posted: 1/16/2006 1:42:38 PM | Sometimes you meet someone, and you really like somethings about them, but you're unsrue about others, or you find out things about her as things progress and you start to question whether she's really who you want be with.
If you're talking weeks or months-for the love of god, it's dating!!! The whole point is to get to knwo her and figure out whether or not she's "the one". Sometimes that answer is clear, sometimes you gotta run the clock a bit, and learn more about her before you decide.
Now, if you've been w/someone for years and they suddenly change tehir mind (without any makor changes or screwups on your part), that's messed up and immature. But really- after a few weeks or months? Guess what- he just decided that despite all your good qualities, you've got some negative ones as well that he doesn't want to live with. Be thankful he's amture, secure and unselfish enough to actually end it after weeks or months instead of ignoring the issues for years. Also keep in mind how many men you've probably rejected in your life, be it right at the start or later... men DO have standards, wants, and needs to ya know. | |
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| Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...
Posted: 1/16/2006 1:54:45 PM | this one is actually pretty simple. allright, i've been married now for 2 years and i can tell you the rules of the game.
my hubby has friends, and i hear it all the time.
example: "mark" talks to stacy. mark tells stacy he likes her to keep her on her toes. she'll put on makeup and always treat their time together like a date. sometimes...they even get dirty. mark talks to sarah...repeat... mark talks to sarah one day and stacy the next...repeat. next thing you know, laura comes along. well, laura is pretty easy...so now he doesnt have to butter up stacy or sarah with the "i love yous" etc....
guys want options until they get to the point where they truly want to settle down, and even then, a lot of guys question that.
its mindgames sweetheart. its all about the type of men you are looking for. i'm getting pretty good and i can spot them a mile away. it took me 500 dates before i found my husband, but he's the one. trust me...you gotta keep your eyes open. | |
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beck12
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Joined: 12/28/2005
Msg: 147 | |
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fousee
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Joined: 7/18/2004
Msg: 149 | |
| Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...
Posted: 1/16/2006 3:49:47 PM | there's no way the guy can 'fall in love' in a month..unless he knew you for a while before you guys dated.
Hes just saying 'i love you' to make you feel happy, and make you think he wants you so bad, and after he says that..you fall for him, which you shouldnt do....if he says i love in the first month, you'll get suspicious..he just wants to play around. - probably he wll start talking to you again, sweet talking with you..and you should tell yourself not to fall for that again.
Usually couples talk about everything. If he says he loves you, he should of told you why he doesnt want to see you again - but nope - he said i love you just to make u think he cares.....but dont think all guys are the same! there are good guys out there, that i'd say real hard to find.
take care | |
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| Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?...
Posted: 1/16/2006 5:02:36 PM | | i wish i really did know why men do this...i suppose women do too, but it hurts either way. i've been dealing with this lately too and its not fun. it is a horrible feeling. why even get involved with someone if you dont know what you want or why even say the L word? its all CRAP! | |
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