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| how do you deal with someone dying?
Posted: 2/22/2006 7:04:46 PM | | Make every second of her life as happy as you can. She is not dying, she is transforming for a new beginning. It is you who will suffer from Grief when she's gone. Mourning takes 24 to 36 months. You will go thru denial, anger,bargaining,depression, & finally acceptance. I am there myself right now. Make sure you have a network of friends and family to help you. Blessings and love to your friend. It took a decade to go thru what I just did. A few days is a blessing...... strength honey. Good luck. We all have to go thru it, you're not alone. | |
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| how do you deal with someone dying?
Posted: 2/22/2006 7:21:09 PM | As a widow, I have to say that the problem is not so much their dying---it's that they STAY dead. That's really hard to fathom at the beginning.
It's been over a year. I still wake up thinking of things we might do together each day, or things I want to tell him.
But this is normal, I think. He'd be proud of the fact that I am muddling along reasonably well, and he would want me to enjoy my life with other people.
Remember your friend and smile at the good memories. I'm sure there were many. | |
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| how do you deal with someone dying?
Posted: 2/23/2006 10:30:38 PM | Australiangirl,
I'm sorry to think of what you're going thru. I have been there. Let me say, for her final days, let her know verbally how much she means and has ment over the years, and what a prize you think she is. As for you dealing with her being gone, she will never be gone. You will find yourself asking "what would she do, how would she handle this, wouls she like this" and so on. She will be alive and well in your mind, and simply not be suffering in this life. She will ALWAYS be there for you, just ask. | |
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| how do you deal with someone dying?
Posted: 2/24/2006 3:25:44 AM | | Do everything u can to show ur freind how much they meant to you, my dad died of cancer couple of years ago, and I didn't say anything just pretended like everything was ok around him....didn't even shed a tear knowing he was about to die anyday....and because i didn't i'm sitting here 2 years later like an insomniac messing around on comp regretting and feeling guilty. It's even got me to a point where i push close people away. I got issues...don't be like me. | |
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| how do you deal with someone dying?
Posted: 2/24/2006 4:22:54 AM | Hello...
My mom died of breast cancer when I was 8 and I have had 1/2 my family die of some form of cancer. It has had the direct result of making me have faith in an afterlife...listen...everyone dies...and there is nothing you or anyone can do about it. Its as pure as birth. This is what I believe. It does not matter what faith you are, or what traditions exist where...your friend is going home...and think of it in that manner and be happy as time flies in a blink of an eye. Love her as intensly as you can as in a blink of an eye she will be gone. Love your friends as in a blink of an eye, you'll be gone too. Live life with passion, life it full and always tell the ones you love, you love them, even if your pissed off with them as it just may be the last time you ever see them. Don't be upset that she will be gone, but be happy that your and hers will be welcoming her back home and someday, you'll be there too.
Life and relationships are precious and everyone of us are fragile. Be happy for her and if your last words are....I'll see you in a little while, so make sure you have the wine chilled...and celebrate her life. Don't mourn her as her life should not be remembered with a depressed tone for what was lost, but celebrated for what was given to us.
I know its hard...very hard, but I know you'll be ok.
And...if your involved with someone...eskimo kiss them and tell them you love them...if you do...if you just like them...say that.
Good luck.
Joe | |
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| how do you deal with someone dying?
Posted: 2/24/2006 4:44:16 AM | | I'm so sorry for the pain you are going through, in our family we don't believe in saying goodbye...we see you later...Star2000dancer is so right...she will never leave you, everytime you think if her, she is right by your side...and just because she is no longer in the physical world doesn't mean you still can't talk to her and turn to her when you have a need...the people we love never truely leave us...you'll be in my thoughts and prayes during this trying times and I wish you comfort for you and your family.... | |
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| how do you deal with someone dying?
Posted: 2/24/2006 5:16:14 AM | My Dad died of lung cancer a few months ago ... (I think everyone here is being moved to share their grief as well as their advice). One thing I will caution you about is that you can have a delayed reaction to grief. During the time-of and the funeral and the crying and the immediate trauma there tends to be a lot of distraction and taking care of others. I found that it was a few weeks later when I really started to feel sad every day and was actually beginning to grieve. I thought I was losing my mind (that I should be feeling better not worse) but I talked to a friend who had been through it who assured me that he had the same experience. It was my first time losing anyone as well and had no idea what to expect. I'm glad that you have so many people here to share their stories with you and prepare you for the experience ahead.
Death truly is a mere transformation. I promise you that she will still be in your life in a very real and even better way. | |
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| how do you deal with someone dying?
Posted: 2/24/2006 5:35:51 AM | Is a hard subject ... You can only be there for her and remember the time you had with her..
I lost my son in Aug of '04 at the age of 11 1/2. He had been fighting a rare type of cancer since '97. He fought and sometimes won if only for just a little while, but we all kept spirits up or at least tried to .. but as time went on you learn to live by watching them deal with all they have to and how they did it
It's not pretty, it's not easy, it's usually hell on earth, but you do learn and grow and tend to look at life and others alot differently because of it and you will always have a part of that person with you in your heart and in how you look at life from now on. You'll be stronger for it as well.
When I was dealing with my son, I had to watch and encourage him many a time, but it was usually the other way around he encouraging me. Through all his chemo and dealing with his dad in court during the same period took its toll but I have to say my son taught me alot about life and if your friend can do that for you, you've become one of the richest in the world for it
Cherish the time you have and remember her with a smile after
Wild | |
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| how do you deal with someone dying?
Posted: 2/24/2006 9:24:45 AM | ummm well i just experienced my partner and father of my child suddenly dying is his sleep...it was difficult nt being able to say goodbye....i think u should make the most of ur time together and maybe share some old memories together!
so sorry to hear that...my heart goes out o u honey | |
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