| Limericks?
Posted: 7/18/2008 6:16:25 AM | A poet once lived in Japan
Whose limericks never would scan
When they said it was so,
He replied, "Yes, I know,
But I always try to fit as many syllables into the last line as I possibly can." | |
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| While in Japan...
Posted: 7/18/2008 6:35:22 AM | Ahhh...long time ago in Japan
Shy young geisha was big sumo fan
But after sumo did mount her
In mis-match love encounter
Poor young geisha always walk like a man | |
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| Limericks?
Posted: 7/18/2008 10:36:58 AM | There were two young girls from Birmingham
And this is the story concerning them
They lifted the frock
And diddled the c#ck
Of the Bishop as he was confirming em
Now the Bishop was nobody's fool
He'd been to a fine public school
He lowered his britches
And diddled those b#tches
With his 10" episcopal tool
But this didn't bother those two
They said as the Bishop withdrew
Oh the Vicar is quicker
And thicker and slicker
And longer and stronger than you! | |
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| Well, while we're in a religious frame of mind...
Posted: 8/24/2008 1:25:22 AM | the boy stood on the burning deck
his name was freddie hollocks
the captain said it's freddie last
and freddies said oh never mind
the boy stood on the burning deck
playing with some rockets
one flew up his trouser leg
and blew out both his b*****ks | |
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| Well, while we're in a religious frame of mind...
Posted: 8/24/2008 10:58:53 AM | heres to the cut that never heals
the longer you stroke it the softer it feels
you can wash it in soap
you cab wash it in soda
but nothing removes that fishmarket odour
come on let me post this one | |
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| Limericks?
Posted: 8/24/2008 7:17:59 PM | There once was a [person] from [place]
Whose [body part] was [special case].
When [event] would occur,
It would cause [him or her]
To violate [law of time/space]. | |
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| Well, while we're in a religious frame of mind...
Posted: 8/25/2008 10:23:11 AM | A Cherry Hills native named VVendy
Took yoga, because it was trendy
She complained and she kvetched
As she “ohmmmmed” and she stretched,
But now VVendy is becoming quite bendy
She felt randy, our girl, bendy VVendy,
And while dining out at Olamendi’s
She hit on her waiter,
But she needs a translator
Cause the poor boy just said “No comprende”
Sorry, dear VVendy. I was feeling creative. | |
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| Limericks?
Posted: 8/25/2008 7:42:22 PM | | Thoap. That was just amazing man. | |
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| Limericks?
Posted: 8/25/2008 11:00:35 PM | There once was a man named McMoon
Who was born three months too soon
He hadn't the luck
To result from a ***k
Just a wet dream shoved in with a spoon
The limerick packs jokes anatomical
In a space that is quite economical
But the good ones it seems
So seldom are clean
And the clean ones so seldom are comical | |
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| Limericks?
Posted: 8/26/2008 9:06:59 AM | There once was a man from Madras
Who had his balls covered in brass
When he'd bang 'em together
They'd play stormy weather
And lightning would shoot out of his ass | |
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| Limericks?
Posted: 8/26/2008 6:35:43 PM | There once was a young man from Brighton
Who said to his girl, "You're a tight'un"
She said, "Bless my soul!
You're in the wrong hole.
There's plenty of room in the right'un."
There once was a wily old Scot
Who lured a young maid to his yacht
Too lazy to rape her
He made darts of paper
Which he languidly tossed at her t**t | |
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| Limericks?
Posted: 8/26/2008 10:38:58 PM | An orchestra leader named Leo
Wooed his young clarinetist, Miss Cleo
As he pulled down her panties
She said, "No andantes!
I want this allegro con brio!"
Three two letter words that begin
With "I" are a source of chagrin
There are guys who would cry
And some even die
At the sound of them: "Is it in?" | |
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| Limericks?
Posted: 8/28/2008 9:37:04 AM | There was a young girl from Kilkenny,
Who's usual fee was a penny.
For half of that sum
You could finger her bum,
T'was a source of amusement to many | |
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| Limericks?
Posted: 8/28/2008 11:13:47 AM | There was a young tease from Mount Chesser
Who'd smile as the men would assess her
So flirtatious was she
Inviting them home to tea
Then allowing not one to undress her | |
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| Limericks?
Posted: 8/28/2008 4:09:35 PM | There once was a girl named Ann Heuser
Who claimed no man could surprise her
Till Pabst took a chance
Found Schlitz in her pants
And now she is sadder Budweiser
Nymphomaniacal Alice
Used a dynamite stick for a phallus
They found her vagina
In North Carolina
And bits of her tits west of Dallas | |
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| Limericks?
Posted: 8/30/2008 3:58:21 PM | There was a young man from Devizes,
Whose balls were of two different sizes.
One was so small
It was no good at all
But the other was huge and won prizes. | |
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| Limericks?
Posted: 8/30/2008 4:04:29 PM | There was a young man from St. Maarten
Who saved all his odors from faarten.
If it passed through his crack
It went straight in a sack
And mistakes were all kept in a caarton. | |
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