| WHERE HAVE ALL THE NON-PLAYERS GONE?
Posted: 1/5/2006 10:09:58 AM | Tarheelman..hey I am about to do the same. After 7 years of a streak of bad luck, I am at the point where I feel I am not good enough for the women of today. Many say that is BS and that giving up is the wrong thing to do, but when is enough enough I say.
I get complimented about being terrific and all, but then I am that "friend" to make her feel good and boost her ego when her latest bf treats her like shit. Then she is up and on her way to better things than a guy who will show he cares.
I lost my self esteem, lost my confidence, second guess myself if i was to talk to a woman because i figure she will do the samething as the last 20. So I am damaged goods now. No woman will want a guy like that at all. So then it is "Stop thinking negative" and the downfall is? Women can tell anyhow that you have been shafted and so they wil stay away regardless.
No win situation.
I work a full time job making decent money, never been married, no kids and most of all I am not in debt. Respectful to women, alot of fun to be around, honest and genuine. Does that all get me anywhere? Are you kidding? Any qualities i have get overlooked with the flaw that the women find. Loss of confidence or low self esteem. And so they figure no way, can't help this dud. Meanwhile they can, and it would take no time at all if one time I or others were given a chance. But nope.
I guess I can honestly say that dating may be done at the age of 37.
Off to Las Vegas Friday, coming back Tuesday. Now there will be a ton of women there, and yes I will socialize and be talking to a ton and why? Because it is alot easier when I am in a place I do not live nor will I see these people again.
Talk next Wednesday people. | |
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| WHERE HAVE ALL THE NON-PLAYERS GONE?
Posted: 1/5/2006 12:14:28 PM |
After 7 years of a streak of bad luck, I am at the point where I feel I am not good enough for the women of today.
In one of your pictures, you have your arm around the slinky waist of Shania Twain. )She's four years older than you are, look at her).
The guy she is with has nothing on you in the looks department, except maybe a bit more hair, which he doesn't know what to do with. He's even named "Mutt".  Okay, he's a successful music producer. But what is that to Shania? She's not some waitress from a****ail bar. No, she got to know that guy and feels it for him, that's all. No room for cynicism in my care-free, innocent heart.
You said you went on 10 dates in two years (from online). There are two things that can be said about that. Firstly, you just aren't pulling enough of a numbers game. Five dates a year is meager. But five dates a year from an online site, for a 36 year old guy, is also, at the same time, not a terribly bad rate. There are guys who claim to have gotten next to zero responses in a year (responses where she writes back, never mind face-to-face meetings).
Those women ^did^ see current pictures of you before going out to meet you, right? They have an idea about your face, build and so on. So your "basic visual scan" wasn't the real issue.
I wouldn't call you an online dating superstar, but you haven't fared as badly as you think.
I lost my self esteem, lost my confidence, second guess myself if i was to talk to a woman because i figure she will do the samething as the last 20.
Yet in another posting you think you're a "fun guy to hang out with, but no physical attraction". You ^think^ you're a fun guy to hang out with, but how close is that self-image to reality? You have it slightly backwards, I suspect. There is more physical attraction than you think, but the lack of self-esteem and negativity show through and act in ways to destroy it! If you harbor these types of thoughts, they leak out through your body language. People instinctively know that they don't want to be around you. | |
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| WHERE HAVE ALL THE NON-PLAYERS GONE?
Posted: 1/5/2006 2:22:21 PM |
Yes you have this terrific girlfriend but you are out there flirting up a storm with every single skirt in sight.
Hee hee, how switftly are nice, good girls reduced to symbolic garments. What makes them skirts, and not you?
You have to stay sharp through the "off season". Practice, practice!
your own live Anime escapades
... only without the caucasian girl with huge eyes? Surely you can come up with a more fitting, stereotypically Japanese cultural artifact.
The last two Japanese films I watched are Takashi Miike items: "Kikoku", and "Audition".
Now let me guess what comes next, you want the guys to email you directly for their own copy of David DeAngelo's "how to be a jerk when you are a nerd" manual?
You really have it in for this guy, for some reason.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_DeAngelo
Seems like quite the character.
Lucky girl that girl of yours, to have a "catch" like you!
I passed the interrogation about being a player, by the way. I said that I admired many of the attributes cultivated by guys who are called players, and could probably be one if I had a different emotional makeup. | |
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sddude
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Joined: 11/4/2004
Msg: 129 | |
| WHERE HAVE ALL THE NON-PLAYERS GONE?
Posted: 1/5/2006 6:24:57 PM | I can really relate to y2j , all of his experiences and ,what he has gone thru and who he is , I have done this too,
most women here just say a lot of useless crap , the reality is different , that is why I have gone through the darkside and it works , it may hurt women , that is not my intention but it is fun .
being , nice and and best guy in the world because I really beleived it and that was me was useless in finding great women , for women to be attracted to a really nice guy , a real guy , she has to have gone through alot of crap and has alot of baggage , is really old and beaten by life or she is so unattractive that most guys ,even the ugly ones that have no money ignore them but all three are good targets for playes too or ones that have gone through the darkside .
I gave up , I could be called in asrse but never a sucker anylonger , I got your a*** now baby and you want me to grab it now , after I am done with you , I am gone and looking for the next toy .  | |
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| WHERE HAVE ALL THE NON-PLAYERS GONE?
Posted: 1/5/2006 8:45:47 PM | | Mr.Y2J2006...I know where you are coming from....About confidence and selfesteem...Mine was flush down the toilet by these so called women.....But you know what i have found out that society will put the blame on you...Like it is all your fault...Look at this thread for example..You have people on here that will tell you that when you treated somebody with respect and compassion...And you do these things because it is the right thing to do from the bottom of your heart,But when a screw up woman flushes all that down the toilet.....According to society it is your fault...Sorry i will not take no responsbility for somebodyelses actions....I can see why a man would lose his selfesteem over this.....What makes it so sad that you ask a woman what she wants in a man...Then she goes on to tell yo she wants repect..You give her over and beyond that...But when the first EX-CON,ABUSER,LAZY,DRUGGY comes along she drops you like a hot potatoe and worships MR.LOSER.....Which personally i have no problem with that...The problem i have is honesty...IF a man ask you want you want....Just come out and say you want a loser...I am sure most men will run away from you if you would just tell the truth... | |
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| WHERE HAVE ALL THE NON-PLAYERS GONE?
Posted: 1/6/2006 2:21:13 AM | I always was puzzled about how when any woman is asked what she wants in a guy, she lists all personality traits. But when choosing one, that comes dead last.
I dunno, 2006 is a retooling for me. Giving up on dating is the beginning. Then building my confidence and self esteem up again is the main thing. Will I get back into the game? Who knows, because the longer without meeting new women and dating the more you get accustomed to it. Besides until I think I am good enough, no way I will get a date. So maybe when I get back from Vegas..I will be a changed man..oh no Sin City here I come...chat next week people... | |
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| WHERE HAVE ALL THE NON-PLAYERS GONE?
Posted: 1/6/2006 2:40:29 AM | Y2J2006
Your the same on every thread..
no confidence
no get nooky ( for five yrs according to you )
giving up
go to vegas to get laid. or hope to.. good to make that public
come back and hope to continue on here after all the positive publicity about yourself...
have you ever thought of becoming a minister? or Priest ? Rabi? something? | |
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| WHERE HAVE ALL THE NON-PLAYERS GONE?
Posted: 1/6/2006 4:10:41 AM |
I dunno, 2006 is a retooling for me.
As in, the old tool becomes a new tool? 
So maybe when I get back from Vegas.
Did you watch "Swingers" or something? Hahaha.
I will be a changed man.
Unlikely. Unless you maybe run home from there, that might do something. | |
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| WHERE HAVE ALL THE NON-PLAYERS GONE?
Posted: 1/6/2006 3:03:34 PM | jazzhomie
I will be a changed man
It could be true . If he forgets to wear his shower cap, he could contract something going to one of those lovely ranches. | |
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Le Roi
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Joined: 11/19/2005
Msg: 136 | |
| WHERE HAVE ALL THE NON-PLAYERS GONE?
Posted: 1/6/2006 11:46:30 PM | Kitty,
WHY DO MEN FEEL THEY HAVE TO BE MEAN OR UNSENSITIVE WITH A WOMAN? WHY CANT THE JUST GET TO KNOW ONE PERSON INSTEAD OF BEING A PLAYER, THEY ARE GONNA END UP BEING A LONELY PERSON IF THEY DONT TAKE THE TIME TO GET TO KNOW A PERSON.
I'm not mean or unsensitive with women and I am very single. Why? Because I've been told I am just too nice (or too good to be true). And women don't want to be with the nice guy. That's why I am single. That and the fact that women just don't find me good lookin enough to take the time to get to know me. I have also found that women want one thing and one thing only (and another thread on this forum confirmed that). | |
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Le Roi
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Joined: 11/19/2005
Msg: 137 | |
| WHERE HAVE ALL THE NON-PLAYERS GONE?
Posted: 1/7/2006 12:01:46 AM | After 7 years of a streak of bad luck, I am at the point where I feel I am not good enough for the women of today. Many say that is BS and that giving up is the wrong thing to do, but when is enough enough I say.
I get complimented about being terrific and all, but then I am that "friend" to make her feel good and boost her ego when her latest bf treats her like shit. Then she is up and on her way to better things than a guy who will show he cares.
I lost my self esteem, lost my confidence, second guess myself if i was to talk to a woman because i figure she will do the samething as the last 20. So I am damaged goods now. No woman will want a guy like that at all. So then it is "Stop thinking negative" and the downfall is? Women can tell anyhow that you have been shafted and so they wil stay away regardless.
No win situation.
I work a full time job making decent money, never been married, no kids and most of all I am not in debt. Respectful to women, alot of fun to be around, honest and genuine. Does that all get me anywhere? Are you kidding? Any qualities i have get overlooked with the flaw that the women find. Loss of confidence or low self esteem. And so they figure no way, can't help this dud. Meanwhile they can, and it would take no time at all if one time I or others were given a chance. But nope.
I guess I can honestly say that dating may be done at the age of 37.
Diddo!! Except I'm 46 and my streak of bad luck with women is in the 30 year range (including two very abusive marriages). Can you imagine hearing "Let's just be friends" for 30 years (and then some)? Although I am finally getting to meet someone from POF I am not holding my breath. And I have already changed my profile. So I've pretty much given up on a new life, a new beginning. If it clicks with the person I'm meeting, great! If not, then I will have to concede to singlehood and brokenhearted for life (and beyond).
What a way to start the so-called new year, heh? It would be a new year, new life, new beginning if a gal fell head-over-heels for me and it was mutual. But will that happen in my life? Not likely. Well next year I am planning to re-enlist back into the army. If successful my goal is to get to Afgahistan. And maybe I'll get lucky and bite a bomb  (So much for a New Year and a new beginning - NOT!!) | |
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| WHERE HAVE ALL THE NON-PLAYERS GONE?
Posted: 1/10/2006 9:51:41 PM | I think that dating is not meant to be for some people. So many like to say that "There's someone for everyone" or the "it's easy to meet women and approach them" and even better "You need to be confident, women want a strong man"
Now all those sayings may happen to be true for some guys, but definitely not all.
Where have all the non players gone is the question?
They have walked away from dating because they know they will never succeed in it. And they have made an a s s of thmesleves for so long and lost thier confidence that they are finished.
So giving up is the best thing for non players to do.
Is why I have accepted the fact that dating is done for me. Took me a while but not now have come to realize that yes, I am not good enough for women of today. And for me, being a non player in a players game called dating? I am not going to compete. Would rather walk away and watch the action instead. | |
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ya472
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Joined: 8/8/2005
Msg: 141 | |
| WHERE HAVE ALL THE NON-PLAYERS GONE?
Posted: 1/10/2006 10:00:34 PM | .. ^ ^ ^ ^
Is giving up a new thing, or something you do regularly.
If your looking for instant gratification on POF, you will be sadly dissappointed.
If I tried to hook you up with an ugly bit*hy person, would you be willing to accept her for a date or marriage?
I don't think you easily would, and that is how most people feel about strangers.
Think about this site.. not everyone is who they claim, so it makes trust a huge issue. If you are desperate for a date, maybe pay Dating places would suit you better, as there is a slightly higher inherent 'trust factor'.
Other than that, you have to get out, be visible and ask for dates. Like an Electrolux salesman, you have to knock on a lot of doors before you get a sale. Yeah, it does take work, intitiative and patience.
.. | |
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| WHERE HAVE ALL THE NON-PLAYERS GONE?
Posted: 1/10/2006 10:01:55 PM | Y2J , does this mean you didnt get any action in Vegas?
Sorry bud, but after reading the mountains of self pity, what else can I say. Have you considered the foriegn legion? | |
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| WHERE HAVE ALL THE NON-PLAYERS GONE?
Posted: 1/10/2006 10:05:59 PM | I have only tried this online thing for 2 years, nothing ever happened on the sites. I gave up now because of the fact approaching women is just a repeat of the last one and so on. So giving up on the whole dating thing seems about the right decision to make. Some it is a good decision I think. Others they have success in dating. We cannot make someone like us. It is just how it goes. Nothing bad about it at all.
What I lack i know I cannot get. So why would someone convince themselves that they are good enough etc when they know they are not? I have doe that for far too long, now I realized that yes, I am not good enough. Now life goes on, but people kill me when they say 'Why would you give up? That is the easy way out" and I say yes it is, and the point being? | |
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| WHERE HAVE ALL THE NON-PLAYERS GONE?
Posted: 1/10/2006 10:10:17 PM |
Sorry bud, but after reading the mountains of self pity, what else can I say. Have you considered the foriegn legion?
Uh, I doubt they are looking for wussies.
France already has a domestic army.
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| WHERE HAVE ALL THE NON-PLAYERS GONE?
Posted: 1/10/2006 10:12:00 PM |
I have only tried this online thing for 2 years
Ugh, "tried" means something like two weeks, not two years. Two years is heading toward "way of life".
Most people wouldn't stick that long with something that isn't working for them. | |
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ya472
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Joined: 8/8/2005
Msg: 146 | |
| WHERE HAVE ALL THE NON-PLAYERS GONE?
Posted: 1/10/2006 10:15:13 PM | ..
So Y2J, I just looked at your pics and there is one of you with an arm around Shania Twain?
Hmmm, that don't seem to bad, unless this is the "type" of person you want in your life???
Good luck, whatever you do.
.. | |
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| WHERE HAVE ALL THE NON-PLAYERS GONE?
Posted: 1/10/2006 10:15:34 PM | | hahah dating is not working for me. I went from meeting people at clubs, through friends, at work, through co-workers to online dating to giving up. Struck out in every way possible. Quite funny if you think about it. Spells out L-O-S-E-R and a big one at that. LOL | |
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Rake
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Joined: 3/12/2005
Msg: 148 | |
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| WHERE HAVE ALL THE NON-PLAYERS GONE?
Posted: 1/11/2006 8:13:46 AM | That is why i say give up boys women cannot stand us who do not play games. No action in Vegas big deal. I had a blast there, and so no sex means no problem.
Giving up is not the new thing to do. It is the best option I think for alot of guys. I know for me I will be a better person and feel much better about myself. And in turn I will be much happier in life not chasing around a bunch of women who will in turn say "Not interested"
Do not see what the big deal is. They are only women and they are not the be all to end all. Just like for them, they can live without dating as well. | |
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| WHERE HAVE ALL THE NON-PLAYERS GONE?
Posted: 1/18/2007 11:35:17 AM | Where are the nice women ?
EVERYTIME I respond to a profile, all I ever get back is
SEND PIC
GOT A PIC?
GOT A PICTURE?
The longest letter I have ever received is:
"Do you have a picture to send ?"
WOMEN ARE ONLY INTERESTED IN LOOKS | |
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