| | What have you learned from your failed relationships?Page 4 of 8 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8) | Well let's see, I've had 3 serious relationships, so here's some things I've learned.
The first one:
Once a cheater, always a cheater.
Don't become dependent on a man.
Don't give a man a second chance to hit you.
2nd one:
Don't sabatoge out of fear.
If someone doesn't think they need help, you can't help them.
Military life is not conducive to a healthy relationship.
3rd one:
Don't support someone, it's enabling.
Don't try to fix something that's beyond repair.
Listen to your instincts.
Yeah I've been with some real winners. lol And people wonder why I'm so picky.  | |
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| What have you learned from your failed relationships?
Posted: 12/13/2005 12:40:48 AM | What could I have done differently? Screw that. Dwelling on woulda should coulda took me out of life in general for almost a month.
-Ask yourself what you will look out for next time.
-Ask what you learned not to do to/for someone else until rightfully earned on the spot, effective immediately (or two strike rule if worth the time).
-Cherish every emotion that you hated feeling what you felt at that moment and
deal with that issue or choose between accepting it after being educated on the issue or strike! Theres the door.
-if you normally go with your gut feeling, go with it. It's only been wrong once or twice in how many years?
-be observant of the mother of the gal, father of the guy, the apple does not fall far from the tree...
-be obvservant of your partners choice of friends...Remember they are only there for their friend and your friends are usually include those that you have something common with and/or you aspire to equal, and those that truly are on your side whatever happens.
I'm too distracted by my drooping eyelids to go further. It's way too late to be trying to type. | |
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| What have you learned from your failed relationships?
Posted: 12/14/2005 10:19:55 PM | I think Terran said:
I learned from my mistakes .. that's all...oh and that nothing surprises me anymore...
Nothing surprises me any more either...sickens and disgusts, yes, but not suprises.... | |
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| What have you learned from your failed relationships?
Posted: 12/15/2005 6:29:34 AM | | That I am simply not cut out to be in a relationship. I’ve dated all kinds of different women and they’re great as long as we’re just dating. But when they start hanging around, I come to resent them for eroding my personal space and time. | |
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| What have you learned from your failed relationships?
Posted: 12/15/2005 6:39:00 AM | That failure is not an option when it comes to love. Love is a neccessity and never a waste of time when given from the heart. Two people have to have it 'together' singular before they can even consider a 'duo'..bet ya never heard that one before~ I'm fresh off the 'Breakup Express' and stayed too long as not to give up the ship..when i love it is for real! Still learning sister but I hope I never stop~ | |
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| What have you learned from your failed relationships?
Posted: 12/15/2005 6:39:11 AM | I've learned that I can forgive them and put them behind me.
I've learned that it's not always my fault.
I've learned that I'm not the only person who's been wounded in life.
I've learned the only person I can change is me.
I've learned that one "I'm sorry" can ward off a world of hurt.
I've learned that sometimes, you just have to let go.
I've learned that love is too precious to be wasted.
I've learned that today's relationship is the only one that matters.
Steve | |
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kcub63
| | Joined: 11/15/2005
Msg: 84 | |
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| What have you learned from your failed relationships?
Posted: 12/15/2005 7:11:11 AM | | The greatest thing I learned about my failed relationships that I have to be a whole person to be in one. A relationship doesn't complete you and you and just as much as you want to be accepted for who you are, you must do the same for the other person as well. | |
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| What have you learned from your failed relationships?
Posted: 12/15/2005 8:32:54 AM | I have learned that you will never say “Gee I wish I’d stayed longer,” in that abusive marriage”
I have learned that I have incredible courage; and that even people you live with for 25 years aren’t necessarily who they appear to be.
I’ve learned that I am responsible for how I let someone treat me…..that I don’t make good choices when it comes to partners.
I’ve learned that it’s important not to ignore early warning signs of a toxic person and that women are most vulnerable to physical abuse when they are separating
I’ve learned that sometimes you and your partner aren’t in the same reality and it can be a lot more lonely living with a person who is mentally ill than it can be on your own.
I realize that I have a need to be needed so therefore I attract the neediest
I’ve learned that I am never bored with my own company and that anger is only one letter away from danger
I’ve learned that verbal abuse can actually be as damaging as physical abuse and should never be tolerated
I’ve learned to surround myself with only well deserving people that present good energy and love.
I learned that there is a high criterion for being my friend that my ex unfortunately never qualified for.
I realized no matter what you do or how hard you try there are just some things that can’t be repaired, and that undiagnosed mental illness is a silent killer of families
I learned that being a great mother has bigger rewards than being a great wife
I’ve learned that forgiveness is a gift you give yourself | |
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| What have you learned from your failed relationships?
Posted: 12/15/2005 1:31:50 PM | I have learned the following from my failed relationships ( they are important lessons, so listen up ) :
- I will never allow anyone to even attempt to change my perception of myself . As Enimem says, " I am what you say I am " . but ultimately, he is harkening to the point that it doesn't matter what anyone says as long as you never lose the idea of yourself.
- I will never be possessive, jealous or suspicious. I was when I was in my teens and I lost a good relationship bc of my possessiveness and jealousy. Now that I am mature, I learned that jealousy and possessiveness are not me and I don't get that way at all anymore.
- I will never base it solely on sexual attraction and lust. I have made an attempt to see the other person for who they really are, not just what they can do for me in the bed department.
- I will always live my life. I will never dictate it according to the other person. That means I will keep my female friends, I will continue to go out, I will continue to innocently flirt and I will be the best woman I can be as me, and not what he thinks.
- If I have a small inkling of feminine intuition that he is cheating, I will confront him and based on his answers, body mannerisms / language and eyes, I will leave or stay.
- If it's not working, I will not beat around the bush and stay. I will walk away and leave. | |
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| What have you learned from your failed relationships?
Posted: 12/15/2005 2:33:48 PM | | 1 lesson learned from prior 'failed' relationships - need to learn what I can from the situation, and move on looking forward..... and the golden rule as previously stated - you can't change someone, only they can change themselves. | |
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| What have you learned from your failed relationships?
Posted: 12/15/2005 7:49:21 PM | | That you need passion and friendship to make it lasting. A relationship based around either or never works out, seems like such a simple lesson but I guess you have to go through it to truly know something for yourself. *sigh* | |
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Ooli
| | Joined: 12/17/2005
Msg: 98 | |
| What have you learned from your failed relationships?
Posted: 12/17/2005 5:12:02 PM | What I have learned is:
1.) You should pay attention to what someone does, as well as what they say. People lie all the time, but their actions never do.
2.) Sometimes, the second chance that should be given is to yourself, not your partner. In other words, love yourself enough to get out of an unhealthy situation.
I hate the fact that I am so gullible sometimes, and yet, I am totally responsible for that. I must learn to be more discerning in who I give my heart to. | |
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| What have you learned from your failed relationships?
Posted: 12/17/2005 5:24:40 PM | I'm struggling with failed here. I bet most of us are. Failed as in didn't pass some critical test? Failed as in I didn't do something right. Failed as in I took away nothing and am incapable of understanding.
One of my personality traits that always surface is the fact that I can't stand failing. I've chose to abandon due to time being the commodity it is, I've walked away with a new understanding, One particular insight I'll mull over for days and days to come is " I've learned that I can love someone and not be in love with them" (Damn that's profound woman, you never cease to amaze) But I failed? Have you failed? Really? Enlighten me. | |
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| What have you learned from your failed relationships?
Posted: 12/17/2005 5:42:18 PM | | I have a gf whom I admire a great deal..and she has the most wonderful outlook on things. She thinks that if we continue in relationships that don't work out "fail" as you put it, is because there is something we are suppose to learn from this type of relationship we just have to learn it or keep living it over until we learn what we are suppose to..I'm hopin this last time I did my learnin..and the next one is the last and forever one.. | |
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