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| What have you learned from your failed relationships?
Posted: 7/10/2012 3:44:45 PM |
I'm not sure if you are being facetious or complementary.
...as one of the 13% -- it was meant to be complementary.
I can't save people. (people use problems as excuses and most do not want to give up their excuses regardless of how much they say they need to and know they need to)
I can love people from afar. ( I don't have to be with someone to love them)
I will outgrow the wrong partner. (it's about growing)
I was 50% of the problem. (I am always 1/2 of the equation )
Those relationships do not define me.
I'm not responsible for their feelings.
Expectations destroy most relationships.
I'm not that important. (but don't tell my ego I said that)
Water seeks it's own level. (if I seek deeper I must be deeper)
Never to regret doing anything that made me feel good to do.
I don't even know what I don't know.
I can be just as happy alone as I can be in a relationship.
As an NF I have had to work hard on my expectations, and worrying about others feelings.
Your post rang true for me. | |
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| What have you learned from your failed relationships?
Posted: 7/10/2012 3:52:30 PM | Probably nothing that will help me in a good relationship.
Bury the pain and the past.
Just be open to the new and unique.
We can't know in what form happiness will manifest until we find it.
But we will never find it looking back at past misery. | |
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| What have you learned from your failed relationships?
Posted: 7/10/2012 3:58:56 PM | I learned that love, commitment, responsibility does not fix incompatibility. Deep down, people don't change.
I learned that it takes two, not one.
I also learned that I do ..........matter. | |
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| What have you learned from your failed relationships?
Posted: 7/11/2012 5:54:22 AM | Failures?
I do not know of what you speak.
Every relationship I have ever had, including the lack, was exactly what I needed when I had it
My learning lessons took pretty near all of them to get through my thick skull. That was to not only recognize my need before beginning that journey, but to do a double check as to what the best way to fullfil that need was, AND, when the relationship stopped being what I needed, and there was no way to make into what I did need, to let it go, loyalty and steadfastness and patience are not virtues when they are useless. | |
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pfif
| | Joined: 6/11/2012
Msg: 182 | |
| What have you learned from your failed relationships?
Posted: 7/11/2012 6:15:00 AM | That everything can be different in oh, about five minutes from right now.
My mother told me that parts of _Who's_Afraid_of_Virginia Woolf?_ were
filmed about 200 feet from my grandmother's bathroom window, on the
campus of Smith College. | |
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| What have you learned from your failed relationships?
Posted: 7/11/2012 8:30:34 AM | What I learned: Some women can be far worse deceptive Liars than some of the men they complain about.
Next Time I date a girl who is texting her other guy friend instead of talking to me, after I listened to her and gave her my undivided attention: LEAVE.
If she stands me up on one date: LEAVE
If she's dating 10 other guys at the same time: Leave.
If she tells me a story that she totally used some guy and hooked up with his friend instead: LEAVE. | |
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| What have you learned from your failed relationships?
Posted: 7/11/2012 11:05:22 AM |
..as one of the 13% -- it was meant to be complementary.
As an NF I have had to work hard on my expectations, and worrying about others feelings.
Your post rang true for me.
Thank you, but I have to admit until you mentioned M Briggs I'd never heard of them before, and feel bad about having to ask for clarification but found it necessary based on the typical passive aggressive replies that fill these boards. | |
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| What have you learned from your failed relationships?
Posted: 7/12/2012 2:15:54 AM | FairlyAlright: Nothing I didn't know already: It will end, the end will suck, enjoy it while you can.
^^^ This pretty much sums it up. lol I think if you never consider it as a real relationship to begin with......it doesn't suck as bad when it ends.  | |
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pfif
| | Joined: 6/11/2012
Msg: 188 | |
| What have you learned from your failed relationships?
Posted: 7/12/2012 6:45:24 AM | ^^ I think that's a mistake. Here's why: it don't hurt so bad, if you develop
new insights. I think it doesn't hurt so bad because we're not kids anymore;
we can process emotion accurately (unless you drink a lot, or drug, or get into
too much escapism).
My heart is like 70% love-glue by weight (or volume) it's been shattered so
many times. Kinda like when a fighter starts liking pain -- or another kind
of athlete. It's almost a bring-it-on point of pride. I've learned to mend.
It's a skill. And you get good at it. You use skillful means and you overcome it.
People are afraid to hurt. I think the fear of hurt gives more cumulative
damage than the hurt one sought to avoid.
For the first time in my life, not so long ago, I wailed uncontrollably -- I called
out words of grief and bereavement. I've had injuries, and sorrows, but I have
never before spoken (shouted, wailed, screamed) words of agony.
I did that day. Neat! And I'm fine now. Just .. lovely.
One day, will be the last day. This is not that day .. not yet, it isn't.
And then, somebody comes along. And you're there for them. And
you've touched another life, meaningfully. And it's great again.
Be of good cheer.
___________
If you close your eyes
Cause the house is on fire
And think you couldn't move
Until the fire dies
The things you never did
Cause you might die trying
If you give you begin to live
You begin
You get the world
If you give, you begin to live
You get the world, you get the world
If you give, you begin to live
But you might die trying
--Dave Matthews Band
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